DISCLAMER: "The X-Files" is the property of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen productions, and FOX.
FATHER'S DAY
BY DAVID ANAKIN
Special Agent Fox Mulder opened his file cabinet and removed a file; at the same moment he heard the door open.
"Come on in. I have an interesting case to show you." Mulder called as he turned. He was expecting to see his partner, Dana Scully; but instead saw the embodiment of all that was evil in the world. The Cigarette Smoking Man.
"I'll be happy to give you my insight Fox." The Smoking Man replied sitting at the desk. He looked over the desk making Mulder think he was trying to decide what to steal, but Mulder soon realized he was looking for an ashtray.
"Here." Mulder passed over a Styrofoam cup that had some cold coffee left in it.
"Thank you." The Smoking man put out his cigarette and lit another, "So. How's your love life?"
Mulder was shocked by the question. It was none of his business. Mulder told him so.
"Touchy. Well I understand. You're like me, a classic workaholic."
"Why are you here?" Mulder asked.
"I just wanted to 'shoot the breeze' as the kids say."
"Really." Mulder said sitting behind his desk thinking the breeze may be the only thing this man hasn't shot. "Like your involvement with the aliens, how you kidnapped Scully, or how you killed J.F.K."
"No, no. No business. Just you and me, two guys hanging out. What else would you like to talk about?"
"Let's start with your name. Your REAL name. And don't tell its Spender, because I've never believed it was."
Smoking Man looked up at the ceiling in deep thought, "I know. What about movies? Everyone has a favorite movie. I assume you like science fiction?"
"Some. Mostly the classics. Mulder had no idea why he was letting himself get into this conversation. "Attack Of The Saucer Men, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Plan Nine From Outer Space."
"Ah!" Cancer man's eyes lit up. Then he lit up another cigarette. "The worst movie ever made. Bela Lugosi died during the filming so they got someone else to finish it. But they didn't look alike so he had to keep his cape over his face." Smoking Man held his own arm just under his eyes in an imitation. Mulder couldn't help but smile at the sight. "Mine has always been 'The Empire Strikes Back' George Lucas's best." He continued.
"No kidding."
"Yes really. Do you remember the climax? The scene when Luke Skywalker's hanging over the abyss in Cloud City?"
"Sure. Darth Vader had just copped off Luke's hand." Mulder answered.
"Right! Luke was hanging on for dear life. Do you remember what Vader told him?"
"Yea." Mulder answered again. He wasn't sure he liked were this was going. The Cigarette Smoking Man was leaning over the desktop and for once, was without a cigarette.
The Smoking Man leaned back and spread his arms, "Well. Guess what?"
"Nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo!" Mulder screamed feeling like he too was falling.
Mulder awoke suddenly on his couch. He looked around his dimly lit apartment and said, "Okay, no more cold pizza and warm beer before bed."
THE END