I watched in pain and disgust as he took his stance in front of my little brother as he took the pan and swung with all his might I hurt my brother fall to the floor as the small child whizzed for air my own breathe stuttered I watched as he through the pan at my brother and guzzled more of his beer and stumbled away I hurried to the kid's side as I watched him suffocate in my arms the pan must of knocked one of his ribs and crushed his lung..... bye brother.

I was 4 when the first time i remeber it happening, dad did it. i was playing in the backyard n he came home drunk. i hated how he did that he looked so pathetic he would always stubble into the house as i stuck to my business in the sandbox. he would often drunkenly argue with my mother in German. It only made it sound worse in a different language and everytime they did it, it made me wonder more if they had forgotten that i could even speak German also.

i was the forgotten child no1 new Alic n Tammiann were married let alone had a son i was a mistake n i wood soon b forgotten if that hadnt already happened i was 4 n i remebered clearly when they had killed my 6yr old brother a year i was terrified that i was next.

but even now 11 years later im still a mistake locked in the attic like an animal. here i was only with my thoughts and the scares of my family i was often left thinking but the "wat if's" of my "accidents" the fire, the beatings, the murders all flashing thro my head

i watched as my sisters slept silently behind me on the bed, yes there was 2 more mistakes locked here with me.

little 4yr old Kendra Ann with her blond hair a mess under the comforter as she slept. and little 6yr old Danielle snored softly as her red hair on her back rised and fell wit her breathing

watching her bright red hair reminded me of the fire.... when i was 9 there was a tragic and far from accidental fire on our farmhouse. dad n mom were planning on getting rid of the mistakes in thier lives.... they set the house up in smoke while i slept i was in the attic 3 stories up.

i ran my fingers across the burn scars on my face and arms. that ran n blended wit the beating scares, rashes, cuts, gashes n bruises.

i hurried n drangged on some old clothes and ran outside to do chores b4 my sisters woke n b4 dad noticed i was slacking i hurried quickly n was done b4 mom n dad lef to the bar they did the usually critize my work in the barn slap me couple times and papa had his belt this time they laughed as i yelped in pain then they dragged me upstair n through me in the attic room

i grunted as i slammed against the bed ont the other side of the small room and i soon heard the lock of the door, they were gone i felt as Danielle n Kendra carefully wrapped thier arms round my neck as comfort i leaned my head back on danielle's back as Kendra curled up in my lap. i soon felt the pain of this morning set in n i ached all over.