~Ichigo's Point of View During Rukia's Absence~
Since when did I stop feeling the wind on my face? I can see the effects by my uncared-for hair that fly everywhere. Yet, I can't feel it.
Since when could I not listen to the waves crushing on the rocks? I can see them...
Since when could I not feel my heartbeat? I can find my pulse.
Since when... did I stop feeling?
It's as if... I'm watching the world go by. Every day, I am nothing but a spectator of the lives of others. Sometimes, I have to pretend I am part of it, when I am not. Why does laughter fade in my ears? Why do bright eyes seem dull and empty? Why does the sunlight seem so cold?
I can't tell which one of the things that fill my empty existence is worse: pain or numbness.
When pain takes over, I just curl up into a ball and cry in agony.
Numbness is the usual aftermath.
I find myself coming to the sea, looking for something. You are never there, though.
I miss you.
You...
You...
... are a part of me.
My soul was bound to yours.
And when you left...
... why did you rip my soul?
There's no world to me without you anymore.
I just keep going back, to make myself hold on to something.
What happened? Tell me.
I need to find a cause to live.
Can I blame someone?
You, me?
Why is everything like this?
The world seems the same.
People act the same.
The sea looks the same.
The sky looks the same.
The seasons keep changing, though I don't even notice.
And I keep growing.
So, why do I feel so hopelessly helpless when the world keep going, untouched by your absence?
I guess...
... I'm not the same.
I can keep living, but be dead inside.
You were never supposed to be part of my world, right?
You first accepted that.
Baka.
You ARE my world.
You stole the gravity of my world and shifted it to you.
You took away the loneliness.
If only I hadn't met you...
... life would have been easy.
I would be able to enjoy the company of my friends.
I would be able to get out of bed.
I would not cry because I miss you.
I would be blissfully blind.
And then you gave me the splendor of light.
You illuminated my being.
You made my life worth living.
And then you stripped everything away.
Why...?
My chest... is as frozen as ever.
.
.
.
~Listen to the song 'Kaza Nagi' by Suga Shikao while reading. Read the verses according to the song, please.~
Sometimes I think that I will never rise again,
I will just stay in this bed forever.
And I lull myself to sleep with your image…
And sometimes…
I don't feel so alone.
.
Because you're still with me in my dreams,
I think I can still hear my heart beating.
And in that light I can still see you…
I wonder if…
…you ever think of me.
.
Now, tell me what I should do.
Who I should be mad at for the pain in my chest.
How can I fill this void.
Because since you've been gone,
there's been nothing but rain.
.
Sometimes I do open my eyes.
And wonder if the world has always been grey.
And how can I only be alive
in the memories of you,
that I hold in my heart.
.
.
For some reason I just keep waiting for you…
To see your smile and to hear your voice.
I only want to make time turn backwards,
So I can live,
in the memory we made together.
.
Sometimes, I look at the sky
and wonder if you ever look down at me.
And I do get ashamed,
because then you would see,
the tears I shed.
.
Now, tell me what I should do.
Who I should be mad at for the pain in my chest.
How can I fill this void.
Because since you've been gone,
there's been nothing but rain.
.
.
.
.
…Come back to me…
The verses are the original creation of me, the author, meant to present an alternative translation to the song.
A song means something different in everyone's heart.
Please do not copy lyrics.
The song 'Kaza Nagi' does not belong to me, neither does Bleach.