A Hero's Vow
Chapter 1 Came the Dawn
The sun shined on Hyrule, it was the early dawn. The seventeen year old Link slowly staggered out of his house. He had been up all night surfing the net. His head ached horribly. He was hoping to get some more sleep, maybe till noon, but Navi, his bitchy fairy woke him up.
"Hey! I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! Wake up! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Listen!" she shrieked irritably.
"Aaaaah, shut up you annoying shit-bag!" Link growled.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! That's no way to talk to your fairy!" Navi squeaked.
Link just rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. He went back inside. He stared into his untouched coffee. He hated his life. All the girls in Hyrule were in love with him. He remembered yesterday when he was at the Hyrule Castle Town Market. He was mobbed by a band of desperate girls. None of them were cute, either.
A shrill cry interrupted his thoughts. It was Saria. Link shuddered as he went to get the door. His so-called childhood "friend" was standing at the door. Needless to say, she was gazing at him with loving adoration. Nevertheless, Link plastered on a plastic smile and said sweetly, "How are you doing today, Saria?"
Saria, taken aback by such a question answered, "Just fine," while fluttering her eyelashes seductively.
Link wanted to vomit. He closed his eyes and quickly pictured himself gallivanting over her dead body, brandishing two knives.
Link sighed and said in an even tone, even though he felt like strangling her alive, "I'm so sorry, Saria sweetie, I don't have time to 'play' today."
Saria, although disappointed left without another word.
Link quickly ran back inside and bolted the door, Navi following him, bombarding him with a million questions.
"You don't have anything to do today! Hey! Why did you tell her that? Hey! Hey! Hey! Listen!" Navi was screaming at the top of her lungs.
With one quick deft motion, Link seized her by the wings and shoved her into an empty bottle and corked it. Link then put her on the top of his dresser drawer as he began to plan his day.
"You can't do this to me! Hey! I'm your guardian fairy! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Navi yelled.
"Too bad. Just be happy I'll let you out this evening." Link sneered.
I hope she suffocates Link thought as he ran out of Kokiri forest since all the Kokiri girls were hot on his heels. He hastily picked off a few girls who were still holding on to him. He speedily summoned Epona and booked it out of there. He galloped across Hyrule field, peace filling his heart until he heard a horrible cacophony. It sounded like a cross between a bird and a donkey with a sore throat that was also going through puberty. Of course, it was nobody else but Malon.
Chapter 1 Came the Dawn
The sun shined on Hyrule, it was the early dawn. The seventeen year old Link slowly staggered out of his house. He had been up all night surfing the net. His head ached horribly. He was hoping to get some more sleep, maybe till noon, but Navi, his bitchy fairy woke him up.
"Hey! I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! Wake up! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Listen!" she shrieked irritably.
"Aaaaah, shut up you annoying shit-bag!" Link growled.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! That's no way to talk to your fairy!" Navi squeaked.
Link just rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. He went back inside. He stared into his untouched coffee. He hated his life. All the girls in Hyrule were in love with him. He remembered yesterday when he was at the Hyrule Castle Town Market. He was mobbed by a band of desperate girls. None of them were cute, either.
A shrill cry interrupted his thoughts. It was Saria. Link shuddered as he went to get the door. His so-called childhood "friend" was standing at the door. Needless to say, she was gazing at him with loving adoration. Nevertheless, Link plastered on a plastic smile and said sweetly, "How are you doing today, Saria?"
Saria, taken aback by such a question answered, "Just fine," while fluttering her eyelashes seductively.
Link wanted to vomit. He closed his eyes and quickly pictured himself gallivanting over her dead body, brandishing two knives.
Link sighed and said in an even tone, even though he felt like strangling her alive, "I'm so sorry, Saria sweetie, I don't have time to 'play' today."
Saria, although disappointed left without another word.
Link quickly ran back inside and bolted the door, Navi following him, bombarding him with a million questions.
"You don't have anything to do today! Hey! Why did you tell her that? Hey! Hey! Hey! Listen!" Navi was screaming at the top of her lungs.
With one quick deft motion, Link seized her by the wings and shoved her into an empty bottle and corked it. Link then put her on the top of his dresser drawer as he began to plan his day.
"You can't do this to me! Hey! I'm your guardian fairy! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Navi yelled.
"Too bad. Just be happy I'll let you out this evening." Link sneered.
I hope she suffocates Link thought as he ran out of Kokiri forest since all the Kokiri girls were hot on his heels. He hastily picked off a few girls who were still holding on to him. He speedily summoned Epona and booked it out of there. He galloped across Hyrule field, peace filling his heart until he heard a horrible cacophony. It sounded like a cross between a bird and a donkey with a sore throat that was also going through puberty. Of course, it was nobody else but Malon.