- Feind -
~ An Invader Zim Fanfic ~

I think at some point in thier life, everyone wants to just be recognized as someone that did something great.

That seemed to be my case - always trying to save the world from Zim.
I hated him so much!

He was a complete jerk. He wasn't even that great of an alien, if you ask me.
Completely incompetant!

But one day at skool, when class was going on about things as usual, Zim was unusually quiet. He was sitting outside on the swing, not taunting me or trying to intimidate me...

He still had that menacing look in his eyes, he was observing the children, plotting to put them under heinous experiments albeit.

"What are you up to, ZIM?" I questioned as I approached him cautiously. "Because I know you're up to SOMETHING!"

"Something...or nothing?" He smirked at me with his chainsaw-like teeth.

"Something."
"Or nothing?"
"SOMETHING!"
"Maybe."

I kept my eyes on him. Throughout all my confrontations with Zim, I learned how tricky he can be.

"Dibworm, why is it that you want to save all these pathetic humans? Look at them!" He pointed at a girl rolling around in a puddle for no reason.

"Well, I. . ." I rubbed my neck. I felt a bit uneasy about the question, as I'd never thought about it. "Why do YOU want to take over Earth?"

"To please my superiors, of course!" He answered. "Why are you answering a question with a question?"

I shrugged. "I know you're up to SOMETHING, Zim! I won't rest until I know that Earth is saved! SAVED, I TELL YOU!"

"Saving a planet that doesn't give a damn about you. I thought you were more intelligant than that, Dibworm!" Zim snickered.

I knew what he was doing - trying to play mindgames with me. I wasn't about to let his alien tactics work!

"Whatever, Zim!" I then made my way to the bushes and began to watch him through binoculars.

_________

By the time I arrived home, I began to question my motives.
Where the hell did Zim learn physcology like that?!

But what he said was somewhat true...my whole life, I'd had an obsession with the paranormal. Ghosts, cryptids, aliens, anything out of the oridinary!

Instead of thinking about anything I said, taking the least bit into consideration that some of life's great mysteries might be true, everyone always called me crazy!
Even my father seemed to think I was insane!

Gaz always seemed to ignore me...she ignored everyone for that matter.

The one person that had ever believed me even a little bit about alien turned out to be an alien herself!

Now that I thought about it, I felt...alone.

I couldn't sleep that night, and decided I'd go over and spy on Zim's base. Saving the Earth was a fulltime job...and an unappreciated one.

_________

Zim's base was easy to break into.
He left the door unlocked.

Typical, I thought to myself. The house appeared to be empty, and Zim's robot was sitting in front of the TV.

"Heyloo big head boy!" He waved at me. "Did you bring me a squirrel?"

"No. . .I didn't."

"Aww..."

"Where's Zim?"

"He's in his lab! Baking cookies!"

"Cookies?" I made my way to his lab, something that wasn't that hard to do.
He never had any security around his base. For an alien that was supposedly so much more intelligant than humans, he didn't show it either out of arrogance or his own ignorance.

Zim was, in fact, baking cookies in his lab. Tray of them.
When he turned and saw me, he jumped back a bit. "WHOA! DIBWORM, HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE?!"

"Your robot told me where you were." I replied simply.

"Oh." He stared at me. "GET OUTTA MY LAB!"

"No! I want to know what you're up to Zim!"

"I am baking cookies, because my superiors are going to be calling me soon! I want to send these to them in hopes they'll realize my greatness!"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"NOOO! The Tallest want snacks!"

Tallest? His leaders were just taller than everyone else?

"But I'm glad you're here, DIB!" He smirked, offering me a cookie.

I shook my head. It was probably made of some foreign ingrediant toxic to humans. "Oh? Why's that?"

"I have a proposal for you. I believe you have a romantic interest in me, Dib!" He smirked, leaning back in his chair.

I took a few steps back. "What?"

"Yes. The same thing you felt for Tak until you found out she was an Irken like me! You fight me simply because you enjoy this chase, it's all a game to you."

What was he saying? He'd lost it!

"You were never happy with anything normal, thus you have interest in the paranormal...let's say you did defeat me, the great Zim, and Earth went back to normal. No one would have any appreciation for you. They don't now.
You'd just continue to be tormented."

"I never thought of that. . ."

The alien chuckled.

"Don't be sick!" I growled. "You're a guy, and that's well. . .it's. . ."

"But because I'm something out of the oridinary for you, you subconsiously have an interest in me! But yet your superego tells you it's wrong for an alien to destroy your planet, so you try to stp me. . .simply for a thrill!"

"What are you getting at?! I don't have romantic feelings for you, that's gross!"

"Oh really?" He stood up in the chair, then jumped down and approached me. "Then why is it that you insist on spying on me?! Even when you know I'm doing nothing!"

"Or something?"

"SILENCE! You think you're so much smarter than the other humans, and you are, you're the only human that can see through my ingenius disguise! So why, you stupid human, why are you WASTING your talents for your own race?!"

I had no answer.
I really didn't have a crush on Zim, did I?
But I'd never looked into my own physch like that. Now I was just confused.

"If you wish Dib, then you can join me. . .I'm sure someone of your intelligance would be accepted into the Irken empire." A chesire cat smile stretched across the Irken's face.

"Well, I. . .I can't betray my own kind!"

"But why not? Don't let the morals that were indoctrinated into that big head of yours cloud your judgement!"

"But why would you want to help me?! That's what' so suspicious, ZIM!"

The alien chuckled. "It's simple really! In exchange for staying out of my way, I'll take you to Irk with me and make you one of us!"

"N-no, I can't!"

"You can."

"I can't!"

The alien took a step closer to him. "Yes. You can."

"No! Mankind may not be at it's peak, but...it can get better! I know it can! Science improves every day! I can't ju-"

My mind was racing, I couldn't even think clearly.
Before I had even realized it, my enemy -- my damned enemy that was always scheming and was at that moment -- grabbed me by the chin and kissed me.

I felt incredibly sickened yet mesmerized. I didn't kiss back, instead I could only stand there and try to retain consiousness.

His tongue felt funny against my own, and I wanted to pull away. But I didn't. It was as if my body were frozen.

Slowly our lips parted, and he quietly whispered, "give in, Dib."

I pushed him away. "No! Never! Stop trying to trick me, Zim!"
I felt my throat ache, and my eyes began to hurt.
What the hell had he done to me?!

Without a second thought, I made my way out of his base as quickly as I could.
Trying to turn me against my own kind - ridiculous!
That had to be his most pathetic attempt yet!

When I arrived home, I locked the door and made a dash for my room.

"What's your problem?" Gaz sighed, sitting on the couch with her Game Slave.

"Gaz! Zim just kissed me! He tried to get me to join him! It was-"

My sister simply raised her hand and shook her head for me to stop. "Stop, Dib. Just stop. You've apparantly been visiting too many fanfic sights."

Meanwhile, after Dib had escaped from Zim's grasp, the alien coughed to himself.

"DISGUSTING!" Zim growled, coughing loudly. "COMPUTER GET ME SOME MOUTHWASH!"

He quickly poured a gallon of Listerine into his mouth, then spit it out. "IT BURRRNNSSS!!!"

Zim panted and gave the door a hateful look....the human would pay.
"Oh, he's not getting away with this!" Zim murmered.

The alien had heard a saying a few days ago.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

"Disgusting human, me taking a gamble like that!" He continued. "That had to be my worse idea! But who can resist the charms of the mighty ZIM?! NO ONE I TELL YOU!"

He sighed. "No matter. I think I managed to at least confuse him, he'll be weak the next few days and that's when I'll take over this planet for sure!"

END?