Letting Go of You
A bit of SP fluff for Phil's leaving episode. Can't believe he's really gone and that SP is over. At least we have this site to keep it alive!
Reviews are loved and thanks to Bex for beta-ing! Xxx
It was getting dark outside, the night was closing in around Sun Hill but Detective Inspector Samantha Nixon was still sat at her desk. A stack of work was piled up before her, the computer screen glaring before her eyes but Sam seemed to notice neither. Her thoughts were far away from her work, with someone else entirely. A knock on the door startled her and brought her back down to reality with a crash. The door opened and Jack Meadows poked his head around it.
"You still here?" He asked, but after years of working with the blonde he wasn't particularly surprised to find her there.
Sam nodded, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Looks that way, Jack."
Jack gave her a tired smile. "I need you to do one more task for me tonight Sam, I need you to write Phil Hunter's reference."
Sam almost laughed but not out of humour. Jack misinterpreted Sam's silence.
"It's got to be done, Sam."
She sighed. "I know." She paused. "I'll put it on your desk in the morning."
"Thanks, good night Sam." Jack said, retreating out of the office.
"Good night." She echoed, knowing that it probably wouldn't be.
Sam swore out loud and banged her fists against the desktop. This was useless and she was getting nowhere. The cup of coffee beside her was cold now and the room had dropped in temperature too but she was still here. It had never been this difficult to write a reference before but then she had never had to write one for an ex lover. She re read what she had already written and sighed. The phrases sounded wrong and so fake. She owed it to Phil to write him a better reference than this but she just couldn't.
Phil may turn up late to work, make inappropriate comments at the wrong moments and have unorthodox methods of solving cases but he did the job well at the end of the day. Sam just had no idea how she could reflect this in her reference.
Sam leant back in her swivel chair and closed her eyes; letting a thousand memories wash over her tired body. Soon she was fast asleep in the chair, the document still open on the screen.
When Phil arrived at work the next morning DC Jo Masters pretended to do a double take.
"God Phil, did your watch stop or something?" She asked, teasingly. Phil was going to miss their banter when he left; it always masked a deep bond of friendship between them.
"I thought I might break a habit of a lifetime and actually be early seeing as it's my last day." Jo smiled but Phil continued speaking before she could reply. "Have you seen Sam yet this morning?"
Jo narrowed her eyes in suspicion, knowing how hard the separation was going to be for both Sam and Phil.
"No, I haven't but the light is on in her office." She told him.
Phil smiled. "Thanks Jo." He called over his shoulder.
He approached the office door, feeling a little nervous as he did so. It was hard to believe this is the last time he would go and see Sam in her DI's office. Not for the first time it made him doubt his decision to leave.
"Sam," He called out around the crack in the door when she didn't respond to his knocking.
He stepped inside to see that Sam was fast asleep at her desk, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He walked across the room and saw that a document was still up on the screen; he was surprised to see that it was his reference. He was touched that she had stayed here late to finish it for him. Out of curiosity he glanced across at the screen. It was all fairly straight forward until it stopped mid sentence about six lines down. There was a gap and Phil scanned downwards and was struck by surprise at what he read. Three simple words were written on the screen, it must have been Sam's tired mind talking.
'I love you.'
Phil was taken aback at this, he never realised that she had felt the same way about him as he had about her. Perching on Sam's desk and taking her hand, he gently rubbed the pad of his thumb across the palm of her hand to wake her. Slowly her eyes opened and she smiled sleepily up at Phil before she realised where she was.
"Oh my God! I fell asleep?" She demanded, looking at Phil who couldn't help but grin a little. To him Sam looked so beautiful, her short hair slightly tousled by her night asleep in her chair.
"Yeah. You must have done." He said, his voice becoming softer. "Are you okay, Sam?"
She nodded, the action jarring her aching neck. She winced and Phil resisted the urge to offer her a massage.
"Jack asked me to write your reference and I guess I just fell asleep."
Phil smiled ironically. "I'm that interesting to write about, am I?" He said playfully.
Sam slapped him lightly on the thigh, her eyes meeting his before looking across at the screen. A look of shock hit her when she saw the words emblazoned before her eyes, she pretended to remain natural, and she still had the hope that Phil hadn't seen them.
"I've really got a lot of work to get done Phil, we're still on for our drink later though. Right?" Sam swiftly took control of the situation.
He smiled. "Wouldn't miss if for the world." He said before leaving her office.
When Phil had gone, Sam rested her elbows on her desk and placed her head in her hands. Did he know? Had he seen? She didn't know how it made her feel that there was the possibility that Phil might know that she was in love with him. In truth she always had been, the feelings had just intensified in the past year or so. She had no idea what to do with herself now that she knew Phil would be gone. It made her regret the way she had treated him since their hasty break up.
She finally managed to finish his reference. It took her longer than most other references she had ever written but she was finally satisfied with it. She got up from her desk and opened the door, prepared to head for the DCI's office with it. She got yet another surprise when she found Phil outside her door again.
"Phil!" She shrieked in surprise.
He grinned at her shock. "I'm off home now Sam, I'll see you at the pub later."
"Okay," Sam smiled slightly but tears threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted to ask him if he really had to go but she knew it wasn't fair to either of them. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him in a brief hug, making sure she didn't crumple the paper in her hand. "See you later."
"See ya." Phil called over his shoulder.
Sam continued her journey to the DCI's office and placed the sheet of paper of Jack's desk.
"It's going to be the end of an era isn't it?" Jack commented as Sam turned to leave.
Blinking back her tears she turned to face him again. "I'm going to miss him." She admitted to her boss.
Jack smiled, feeling paternal concern for his DI.
"Why are you telling me this?" He asked. "Go and tell Phil!"
Grinning, Sam took his advice and ran down the stairs after him. She wasn't quite ready to let him go; not just yet.