DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this. I hope that covers it.
A/N: This isn't a very AU story, mostly sticks to the book/movie (not sure which anymore) and is just a little interlude of mine. Pretty angsty, if I do say so myself. And I do.
Basically, I wrote this because the scene with the Fellowship right after Gandalf falls in Moria in the film (especially Frodo's expression) always hits me hard (I cry every time). So I felt the need to write something short and angsty based on this.
Reviews are very much appreciated- I hope you enjoy!
FALLEN
As soon as the company halted for the night Frodo found himself edging away from the rest of them as the others began unrolling blankets and rummaging through packs for means of a cold supper. All the faces of the fellowship were drawn and tired looking, their eyes dim. Even Pippin was unusually quiet and withdrawn.
When Sam approached him with some food Frodo mutely shook his head. "Not now, Sam." Under usual circumstances Sam would have argued but there was something in his master's eyes that caught his eye and held his tongue. The large blue eyes were unusually bright, as though glistening with unshed tears, but Sam did not get a closer look for Frodo had already turned away. Frodo himself was grateful for the thick and gathering darkness.
The others sat huddled close together, talking softly. Frodo deliberately sat off to the side, his knees tucked up to his chest so as to become as small as possible. He rested his chin on his knees and stared straight ahead, though his eyes saw further than the trees beyond.
He saw Gandalf standing tall on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum, facing the fiery Balrog. He saw the Balrog fall and he could almost feel Gandalf's sigh of relief as he turned away. But then the fiery whip had lashed out, catching Gandalf around the ankle and pulling him nearly off the edge.
Frodo's heart began to pound as he remembered. This image had played itself across his mind endlessly the past two days, never giving him peace. He could see Boromir holding him back as they watched, stunned, as Gandalf fell. His final words still echoed in the hobbit's ears. "Fly, you fools!" And he was gone.
A small sob escaped Frodo's throat before he could stifle it and he pulled his cloak close about him, burying his face in its familiar folds as the tears began to fall unhindered.
"What am I to do now, Gandalf?" He asked silently. "Where were you planning to go? How am I ever to do this? This task is so big and I am so small. What will ever become of the company now?"
It was not that he did not trust Aragorn- he did- but Aragorn seemed as unsure as the rest of them. None of them had rightly known what Gandalf had been planning to do. Frodo was not even sure if Gandalf himself knew. But the company had been relying in Gandalf's guidance.
Slowly Frodo lay down and closed his eyes, his face still wet with tears. Eventually he drifted into a wearied sleep.
*** Aragorn, Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli sat nearby, watching as the unusually subdued group of hobbits prepared for sleep and finally drifted off. The loss of Gandalf had been especially hard on the little ones, they had known him best, but Aragorn had the feeling it had been hardest for Frodo. The sensitive Ringbearer had been very close to the wizard and seemed to take comfort from his presence.
"He feels lost and frightened now more than ever without Gandalf." The Elf's smooth voice drifted into Aragorn's thoughts and the Ranger looked up to see Legolas, and now the others as well, had followed his gaze to the small bundle curled up beside the other hobbits. Only the top of a curly head could be seen from under the mess of blankets. The hobbit gave a soft sigh and shifted a little.
"Do you think he will be alright?" Boromir's face, lined with the worry and determination of the warrior that he was, softened as he gazed at the little form nearby. They had all noticed how the Ringbearer had been very quiet and refused almost all contact with others, even the other hobbits, since the wizard's fall.
"Hobbits are stronger than they may seem, as Frodo has already proven," Aragorn answered. "But the loss of Gandalf has hit him hard."
Aragorn sighed. Losing Gandalf had been a shock to all of them. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up in surprise at Boromir, whose gaze held sadness and pity as he looked at the resilient little creature curled up nearby.
***
Frodo woke with a start. He had seen Gandalf falling again. Then the image had been replaced with that of a large spinning orb of fire. The eye. He sat bolt upright, breathing hard and staring into the near pitch blackness around them with wide, terrified eyes. But the terrible feeling of dread was not gone.
There was an ache in his shoulder again, and as he slowly reached up to rub at it his numb hand brushed across cold metal. The ring as it hung about his neck glinted slightly. From the starlight? Frodo looked up. There were no stars and no moon that night. He slowly held the ring in his palm, looking at it.
It seemed so ordinary, so innocent. It took him a moment to realize why he felt so retched. Then he remembered. Gandalf. He fell- he was gone. Tears welled in Frodo's eyes again. Hadn't he cried enough already?
"Frodo Baggins," a quiet, but menacing voice sounded close by. Frodo looked around quickly, but couldn't see anything. The voice had a hiss to it and the hobbit shivered anxiously.
"How could you?"
Frodo started, looking around once more. Should he wake someone? He looked about the makeshift camp hastily. A large form sat across the site from him, back turned- one of the Big Folk keeping watch.
"How could you? You're willingly putting your friends in danger. They're risking their lives to protect you. How could you be so selfish?" Frodo looked down, eyes wide. The Ring. The voice began again. "You are risking all of their lives. They should not be here, and now one is lost because of you. He died trying to protect you. His death was needless. He should not have fallen. But because of you he has and he is lost to the world now. You are not privileged enough to have these companions. Did you think they were doing this out of kindness to you? No- they are doing it out of honor for their own people. They are all against you."
The little hobbit shuddered again, his breath coming in frightened gasps. "They will take the precious, take it away forever. They are not your friends. You are alone." Frodo pressed his small hands to his ears in a vain attempt to block the terrible voice. But it came from within and continued. "You are small and weak. Who are you to think you could ever do something like this? You have killed another, brought on his death."
"No," Frodo whispered almost soundlessly. He had dropped the ring in surprise and it once more dangled from its chain. "You are a coward." It hissed, even louder than before. The hobbit let out a frightened whimper.
***
Aragorn looked up from where he had been staring, lost in his own thoughts and grief. He had been alone now on watch for a few hours and there had been little sights or sounds. But at the sound of quick breathing and a muffled moan he started and immediately looked around the small camp.
The many lumps of blankets indicating his sleeping companions lay motionless. Slight snoring could be heard from the smaller heap of bodies. One, two, three- three hobbits. Where was the fourth?
The Ranger's sharp eyes scanned the camp again before he spotted him. What looked like Frodo's small form sat off to the side of his sleeping kin. He was sitting up unusually stiff and was breathing hard. Aragorn immediately got up and moved quickly to the hobbit's side, fearing the worst.
***
The voice continued to echo through Frodo's mind, tormenting him. It wouldn't go away. "Leave them all before you kill anyone else. You know the wizard's death was your fault. If only you had been stronger, maybe you wouldn't need to put all these 'protectors' in danger because of you. You are weak, Halfling. The wizard made his biggest mistake in choosing you for this task." With that the voice ceased and disappeared.
Frodo didn't dare move. He jumped and let out a startled cry when he felt a large, warm hand laid protectively on his shoulder. He turned and came face to face with Aragorn, who had crouched down and was looking at him intently, his face full of concern.
"Frodo, are you alright?" He asked almost automatically. He could see the distress in the little one's eyes.
Frodo slowly looked up at him, his small face tear stained. "Y-Yes," He finally whispered, unable to keep the tremble out of his voice because of the terrible tremors that ran through his body.
Aragorn quietly sat down beside him and put an arm around the trembling form. Frodo stiffened for a moment before relaxing and resting his head on Aragorn's shoulder. His breath still came in small hiccupping gasps as he tried to control his crying. The Ranger sighed and gently rubbed the hobbit's back in soothing circles. Eventually Frodo's breathing calmed.
"Aragorn," The Ranger wasn't even sure he had even heard the small, frightened whisper until it spoke again. "I-It spoke to m-me," Aragorn looked down at the top of the hobbit's curly head in surprise. He could feel Frodo's breaths quicken again.
"It was m-my fault, Aragorn. G-Gandalf shouldn't have fallen and he wouldn't have if it weren't for me. I-I'm putting you all in so much danger. I'm s-sorry, none of this should have happened. You should all just leave me, I-I'm not worth it." Frodo lapsed back into hiccupping sobs.
Aragorn pulled away from him, taking the hobbit's shoulders firmly and turning him so they faced each other.
"Frodo, listen to me. Gandalf's fall was the fault of no one. You cannot put the blame on yourself. And we are all her because we want to be." He looked hard into the eyes of the small being in front of him.
Oh, how could all this be brought down upon someone so small and innocent? Frodo should not have to carry this burden. The hobbit's chin began to tremble again and his eyes filled with tears, which quickly spilled over.
"I'm sorry, Aragorn. I know I shouldn't have listened. I'm sorry, but it was so real. A-and with Gandalf gone- what will we do? I'm sorry to be such a bother, but I feel so alone. I don't know what to do anymore." Aragorn pulled the trembling hobbit to him again and waited until Frodo's sobs ceased.
"First of all, you are no bother, Frodo Baggins. How could you be- compared to that rascally cousin of yours over there?" He gestured toward the heap of sleeping hobbits and sought out Pippin's brown curls, barely visible, as Merry seemed to be on top of him. A small smile played across Frodo's face. It vanished too soon.
"I know losing Gandalf has come harder to you than anyone, Frodo." Aragorn whispered. "I miss him too. This should not have happened, but it has and we cannot change it. It most definitely is not anyone's fault, however. He would not want us to give up. He would want us to press on, and that's exactly what we will do." Aragorn paused. "He saw something in you, Frodo. Something many others would never find because they would not be able to look past your small size." Frodo looked up at him in surprise.
"He would not have chosen you for this task, had he not thought you strong enough to do it. We saw your resilience to the evil after the Morgul knife wounded you," he felt the hobbit shudder against him, but continued. "You are stronger than even you may think you are."
There was a long silence as Frodo stared into the darkness, thinking over all that had happened. He would have been dead long ago if it were not for his companions. He slowly looked up again so his bright eyes met the man's dark ones.
"Thank you, Aragorn." He whispered and snuggled a little closer to the man's warmth. Aragorn simply smiled and rested his back against the trunk of a large tree to resume the rest of his watch. He soon felt the hobbit's breathing even out, indicating he was fast asleep.
***
The next morning Frodo woke to Sam gently shaking him. "I'm dreadfully sorry, Mr. Frodo, but I have to wake you. You need to get a bit of breakfast in you before we head out today, sir." Sam's eyes looked concerned.
Frodo sat up slowly and looked around. Aragorn was gone, had been lying close to the others, wrapped in many warm blankets. The others were already awake, nibbling at bits of dried fruit, wearing the same solemn expressions as the day before. Frodo accepted the bit of food Sam brought him and followed him over to where the others sat, settling in beside his cousins.
As he sat down, Pippin wordlessly placed an arm around him elder cousin's shoulders and rested his head there for a moment before pulling away and giving Frodo the smallest tentative smile. Soon after Pippin was hauled off the ground by Merry as the two went off to help pack up the supplies.
"Are you sure you're alright, Frodo? You look a bit worn out, sir." In truth Sam had been worried sick over his master for the past few days. He had seemed to simply draw within himself and allowed no one to help him. He could see Mr. Frodo was suffering.
Frodo looked up at Sam, managing a tired smile. "I'm fine, Sam. I just didn't sleep well last night, is all," Sam still looked concerned. He abandoned his packing of the company's gear for a moment and came over to sit beside his master.
"It's the Ring, ain't it Mr. Frodo?" Frodo looked at Sam, startled. Sam flushed and looked guiltily at the ground but continued anyway.
"I'm dreadfully sorry for being so direct sir, but I've just been watching you and you just seem so worn down. Even before Gandalf--" Sam's voice drifted off and he looked away, blinking back tears. He was brought back to reality by his master's soft voice.
"It speaks to me, Sam." Sam looked up to see Frodo looking ahead, staring far beyond what Sam could ever hope of seeing. Sam was silent for a long time, trying to sum up the courage to continue.
It was not often he was so forward with his master, stubborn usually, but not forward. But poor Mr. Frodo had looked so dreadful lately and Sam hated the Ring for what it was doing to him. His kind-hearted master did not deserve this.
Frodo edged closer to his faithful little gardener. "I'm just so frightened, Sam." His voice shook a little but he went on. "The Ring.it told me it was my fault Gandalf fell, that I was putting you all in danger, that I was lucky you all hadn't abandoned me yet." Frodo refused to meet Sam's startled gaze and stared instead at his hands, clenched in his lap.
Frodo wanted desperately to save the others from any worrying over him, but he also desperately needed to talk to someone. Sam was the only one he would ever dream of telling. He could not even feel comfortable talking to Aragorn, despite his kindness.
Sam continued to stare in shock at his master, but he did not find the right words to say before Frodo spoke again. "And I almost believed it, Sam." He whispered, barely audibly, his blue eyes swimming with unshed tears.
Finally Sam managed to find his voice. "Don't you believe a word of it, Mr. Frodo. I've seen what it's doin' to ya, and I don't like it one bit. Don't pay no mind to whatever it may say. Its whisperings are nothin' but deceitful lies."
Sam paused, marveling at all that he had just blurted out. Frodo looked up at him and Sam flushed even deeper, but looked his master in the eye.
"Oh, Sam." Frodo could barely form words. He was glad they were out of earshot of the rest of the company.
Sam grasped his master's shaking hands. "I wouldn't ever leave you, Mr. Frodo. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried." Frodo gave him a small watery smile.
"And the others would never think it neither. I miss Gandalf something terrible sir, we all do, but don't let it tear you apart. He wouldn't want none o' that."
Sam stopped. Frodo was staring at the ground silently. "We need you, Mr. Frodo." Two large, tear-filled eyes looked up at Sam in surprise. They sat like that for a long time, hands clasped, simply being together.
Frodo's mind raced. Sam had reminded him of what he was on this quest for, the reason why he had traveled so far from home bearing this burden of evil. He glanced over at his cousins.
Pippin had fallen asleep, his head in Merry's lap, the packing abandoned for the time being. Merry sat in quiet conversation with Legolas. He smiled as he protectively stoked his younger cousin's curls. Frodo turned back to Sam.
This- this was what he was doing it for. To protect the Shire- the home and people he loved. Unexpectedly, he pulled Sam into an embrace.
"Thank you, Sam." He whispered in the stout hobbit's ear. "I don't know where I'd be without you."
He pulled back and Sam flushed deeper than ever. Frodo took one look at his face and laughed out loud. Sam looked up in surprise at the sound that he hadn't heard in so long and slowly grinned too.
"Alright, everyone. We'd better head out." Aragorn's voice filtered into the moment and both hobbits looked up. Aragorn caught Frodo's eye and the hobbit smiled shyly at him. He nodded back, secretly relieved. The Ringbearer looked much better this morning.
Frodo and Sam slowly followed the rest of the Fellowship as they gathered up the remainders of their camp and began moving out. Sam was right. At that moment Frodo felt as though he could go anywhere as long as he still had something to hope for.
END
~AC~
A/N: This isn't a very AU story, mostly sticks to the book/movie (not sure which anymore) and is just a little interlude of mine. Pretty angsty, if I do say so myself. And I do.
Basically, I wrote this because the scene with the Fellowship right after Gandalf falls in Moria in the film (especially Frodo's expression) always hits me hard (I cry every time). So I felt the need to write something short and angsty based on this.
Reviews are very much appreciated- I hope you enjoy!
FALLEN
As soon as the company halted for the night Frodo found himself edging away from the rest of them as the others began unrolling blankets and rummaging through packs for means of a cold supper. All the faces of the fellowship were drawn and tired looking, their eyes dim. Even Pippin was unusually quiet and withdrawn.
When Sam approached him with some food Frodo mutely shook his head. "Not now, Sam." Under usual circumstances Sam would have argued but there was something in his master's eyes that caught his eye and held his tongue. The large blue eyes were unusually bright, as though glistening with unshed tears, but Sam did not get a closer look for Frodo had already turned away. Frodo himself was grateful for the thick and gathering darkness.
The others sat huddled close together, talking softly. Frodo deliberately sat off to the side, his knees tucked up to his chest so as to become as small as possible. He rested his chin on his knees and stared straight ahead, though his eyes saw further than the trees beyond.
He saw Gandalf standing tall on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum, facing the fiery Balrog. He saw the Balrog fall and he could almost feel Gandalf's sigh of relief as he turned away. But then the fiery whip had lashed out, catching Gandalf around the ankle and pulling him nearly off the edge.
Frodo's heart began to pound as he remembered. This image had played itself across his mind endlessly the past two days, never giving him peace. He could see Boromir holding him back as they watched, stunned, as Gandalf fell. His final words still echoed in the hobbit's ears. "Fly, you fools!" And he was gone.
A small sob escaped Frodo's throat before he could stifle it and he pulled his cloak close about him, burying his face in its familiar folds as the tears began to fall unhindered.
"What am I to do now, Gandalf?" He asked silently. "Where were you planning to go? How am I ever to do this? This task is so big and I am so small. What will ever become of the company now?"
It was not that he did not trust Aragorn- he did- but Aragorn seemed as unsure as the rest of them. None of them had rightly known what Gandalf had been planning to do. Frodo was not even sure if Gandalf himself knew. But the company had been relying in Gandalf's guidance.
Slowly Frodo lay down and closed his eyes, his face still wet with tears. Eventually he drifted into a wearied sleep.
*** Aragorn, Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli sat nearby, watching as the unusually subdued group of hobbits prepared for sleep and finally drifted off. The loss of Gandalf had been especially hard on the little ones, they had known him best, but Aragorn had the feeling it had been hardest for Frodo. The sensitive Ringbearer had been very close to the wizard and seemed to take comfort from his presence.
"He feels lost and frightened now more than ever without Gandalf." The Elf's smooth voice drifted into Aragorn's thoughts and the Ranger looked up to see Legolas, and now the others as well, had followed his gaze to the small bundle curled up beside the other hobbits. Only the top of a curly head could be seen from under the mess of blankets. The hobbit gave a soft sigh and shifted a little.
"Do you think he will be alright?" Boromir's face, lined with the worry and determination of the warrior that he was, softened as he gazed at the little form nearby. They had all noticed how the Ringbearer had been very quiet and refused almost all contact with others, even the other hobbits, since the wizard's fall.
"Hobbits are stronger than they may seem, as Frodo has already proven," Aragorn answered. "But the loss of Gandalf has hit him hard."
Aragorn sighed. Losing Gandalf had been a shock to all of them. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up in surprise at Boromir, whose gaze held sadness and pity as he looked at the resilient little creature curled up nearby.
***
Frodo woke with a start. He had seen Gandalf falling again. Then the image had been replaced with that of a large spinning orb of fire. The eye. He sat bolt upright, breathing hard and staring into the near pitch blackness around them with wide, terrified eyes. But the terrible feeling of dread was not gone.
There was an ache in his shoulder again, and as he slowly reached up to rub at it his numb hand brushed across cold metal. The ring as it hung about his neck glinted slightly. From the starlight? Frodo looked up. There were no stars and no moon that night. He slowly held the ring in his palm, looking at it.
It seemed so ordinary, so innocent. It took him a moment to realize why he felt so retched. Then he remembered. Gandalf. He fell- he was gone. Tears welled in Frodo's eyes again. Hadn't he cried enough already?
"Frodo Baggins," a quiet, but menacing voice sounded close by. Frodo looked around quickly, but couldn't see anything. The voice had a hiss to it and the hobbit shivered anxiously.
"How could you?"
Frodo started, looking around once more. Should he wake someone? He looked about the makeshift camp hastily. A large form sat across the site from him, back turned- one of the Big Folk keeping watch.
"How could you? You're willingly putting your friends in danger. They're risking their lives to protect you. How could you be so selfish?" Frodo looked down, eyes wide. The Ring. The voice began again. "You are risking all of their lives. They should not be here, and now one is lost because of you. He died trying to protect you. His death was needless. He should not have fallen. But because of you he has and he is lost to the world now. You are not privileged enough to have these companions. Did you think they were doing this out of kindness to you? No- they are doing it out of honor for their own people. They are all against you."
The little hobbit shuddered again, his breath coming in frightened gasps. "They will take the precious, take it away forever. They are not your friends. You are alone." Frodo pressed his small hands to his ears in a vain attempt to block the terrible voice. But it came from within and continued. "You are small and weak. Who are you to think you could ever do something like this? You have killed another, brought on his death."
"No," Frodo whispered almost soundlessly. He had dropped the ring in surprise and it once more dangled from its chain. "You are a coward." It hissed, even louder than before. The hobbit let out a frightened whimper.
***
Aragorn looked up from where he had been staring, lost in his own thoughts and grief. He had been alone now on watch for a few hours and there had been little sights or sounds. But at the sound of quick breathing and a muffled moan he started and immediately looked around the small camp.
The many lumps of blankets indicating his sleeping companions lay motionless. Slight snoring could be heard from the smaller heap of bodies. One, two, three- three hobbits. Where was the fourth?
The Ranger's sharp eyes scanned the camp again before he spotted him. What looked like Frodo's small form sat off to the side of his sleeping kin. He was sitting up unusually stiff and was breathing hard. Aragorn immediately got up and moved quickly to the hobbit's side, fearing the worst.
***
The voice continued to echo through Frodo's mind, tormenting him. It wouldn't go away. "Leave them all before you kill anyone else. You know the wizard's death was your fault. If only you had been stronger, maybe you wouldn't need to put all these 'protectors' in danger because of you. You are weak, Halfling. The wizard made his biggest mistake in choosing you for this task." With that the voice ceased and disappeared.
Frodo didn't dare move. He jumped and let out a startled cry when he felt a large, warm hand laid protectively on his shoulder. He turned and came face to face with Aragorn, who had crouched down and was looking at him intently, his face full of concern.
"Frodo, are you alright?" He asked almost automatically. He could see the distress in the little one's eyes.
Frodo slowly looked up at him, his small face tear stained. "Y-Yes," He finally whispered, unable to keep the tremble out of his voice because of the terrible tremors that ran through his body.
Aragorn quietly sat down beside him and put an arm around the trembling form. Frodo stiffened for a moment before relaxing and resting his head on Aragorn's shoulder. His breath still came in small hiccupping gasps as he tried to control his crying. The Ranger sighed and gently rubbed the hobbit's back in soothing circles. Eventually Frodo's breathing calmed.
"Aragorn," The Ranger wasn't even sure he had even heard the small, frightened whisper until it spoke again. "I-It spoke to m-me," Aragorn looked down at the top of the hobbit's curly head in surprise. He could feel Frodo's breaths quicken again.
"It was m-my fault, Aragorn. G-Gandalf shouldn't have fallen and he wouldn't have if it weren't for me. I-I'm putting you all in so much danger. I'm s-sorry, none of this should have happened. You should all just leave me, I-I'm not worth it." Frodo lapsed back into hiccupping sobs.
Aragorn pulled away from him, taking the hobbit's shoulders firmly and turning him so they faced each other.
"Frodo, listen to me. Gandalf's fall was the fault of no one. You cannot put the blame on yourself. And we are all her because we want to be." He looked hard into the eyes of the small being in front of him.
Oh, how could all this be brought down upon someone so small and innocent? Frodo should not have to carry this burden. The hobbit's chin began to tremble again and his eyes filled with tears, which quickly spilled over.
"I'm sorry, Aragorn. I know I shouldn't have listened. I'm sorry, but it was so real. A-and with Gandalf gone- what will we do? I'm sorry to be such a bother, but I feel so alone. I don't know what to do anymore." Aragorn pulled the trembling hobbit to him again and waited until Frodo's sobs ceased.
"First of all, you are no bother, Frodo Baggins. How could you be- compared to that rascally cousin of yours over there?" He gestured toward the heap of sleeping hobbits and sought out Pippin's brown curls, barely visible, as Merry seemed to be on top of him. A small smile played across Frodo's face. It vanished too soon.
"I know losing Gandalf has come harder to you than anyone, Frodo." Aragorn whispered. "I miss him too. This should not have happened, but it has and we cannot change it. It most definitely is not anyone's fault, however. He would not want us to give up. He would want us to press on, and that's exactly what we will do." Aragorn paused. "He saw something in you, Frodo. Something many others would never find because they would not be able to look past your small size." Frodo looked up at him in surprise.
"He would not have chosen you for this task, had he not thought you strong enough to do it. We saw your resilience to the evil after the Morgul knife wounded you," he felt the hobbit shudder against him, but continued. "You are stronger than even you may think you are."
There was a long silence as Frodo stared into the darkness, thinking over all that had happened. He would have been dead long ago if it were not for his companions. He slowly looked up again so his bright eyes met the man's dark ones.
"Thank you, Aragorn." He whispered and snuggled a little closer to the man's warmth. Aragorn simply smiled and rested his back against the trunk of a large tree to resume the rest of his watch. He soon felt the hobbit's breathing even out, indicating he was fast asleep.
***
The next morning Frodo woke to Sam gently shaking him. "I'm dreadfully sorry, Mr. Frodo, but I have to wake you. You need to get a bit of breakfast in you before we head out today, sir." Sam's eyes looked concerned.
Frodo sat up slowly and looked around. Aragorn was gone, had been lying close to the others, wrapped in many warm blankets. The others were already awake, nibbling at bits of dried fruit, wearing the same solemn expressions as the day before. Frodo accepted the bit of food Sam brought him and followed him over to where the others sat, settling in beside his cousins.
As he sat down, Pippin wordlessly placed an arm around him elder cousin's shoulders and rested his head there for a moment before pulling away and giving Frodo the smallest tentative smile. Soon after Pippin was hauled off the ground by Merry as the two went off to help pack up the supplies.
"Are you sure you're alright, Frodo? You look a bit worn out, sir." In truth Sam had been worried sick over his master for the past few days. He had seemed to simply draw within himself and allowed no one to help him. He could see Mr. Frodo was suffering.
Frodo looked up at Sam, managing a tired smile. "I'm fine, Sam. I just didn't sleep well last night, is all," Sam still looked concerned. He abandoned his packing of the company's gear for a moment and came over to sit beside his master.
"It's the Ring, ain't it Mr. Frodo?" Frodo looked at Sam, startled. Sam flushed and looked guiltily at the ground but continued anyway.
"I'm dreadfully sorry for being so direct sir, but I've just been watching you and you just seem so worn down. Even before Gandalf--" Sam's voice drifted off and he looked away, blinking back tears. He was brought back to reality by his master's soft voice.
"It speaks to me, Sam." Sam looked up to see Frodo looking ahead, staring far beyond what Sam could ever hope of seeing. Sam was silent for a long time, trying to sum up the courage to continue.
It was not often he was so forward with his master, stubborn usually, but not forward. But poor Mr. Frodo had looked so dreadful lately and Sam hated the Ring for what it was doing to him. His kind-hearted master did not deserve this.
Frodo edged closer to his faithful little gardener. "I'm just so frightened, Sam." His voice shook a little but he went on. "The Ring.it told me it was my fault Gandalf fell, that I was putting you all in danger, that I was lucky you all hadn't abandoned me yet." Frodo refused to meet Sam's startled gaze and stared instead at his hands, clenched in his lap.
Frodo wanted desperately to save the others from any worrying over him, but he also desperately needed to talk to someone. Sam was the only one he would ever dream of telling. He could not even feel comfortable talking to Aragorn, despite his kindness.
Sam continued to stare in shock at his master, but he did not find the right words to say before Frodo spoke again. "And I almost believed it, Sam." He whispered, barely audibly, his blue eyes swimming with unshed tears.
Finally Sam managed to find his voice. "Don't you believe a word of it, Mr. Frodo. I've seen what it's doin' to ya, and I don't like it one bit. Don't pay no mind to whatever it may say. Its whisperings are nothin' but deceitful lies."
Sam paused, marveling at all that he had just blurted out. Frodo looked up at him and Sam flushed even deeper, but looked his master in the eye.
"Oh, Sam." Frodo could barely form words. He was glad they were out of earshot of the rest of the company.
Sam grasped his master's shaking hands. "I wouldn't ever leave you, Mr. Frodo. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried." Frodo gave him a small watery smile.
"And the others would never think it neither. I miss Gandalf something terrible sir, we all do, but don't let it tear you apart. He wouldn't want none o' that."
Sam stopped. Frodo was staring at the ground silently. "We need you, Mr. Frodo." Two large, tear-filled eyes looked up at Sam in surprise. They sat like that for a long time, hands clasped, simply being together.
Frodo's mind raced. Sam had reminded him of what he was on this quest for, the reason why he had traveled so far from home bearing this burden of evil. He glanced over at his cousins.
Pippin had fallen asleep, his head in Merry's lap, the packing abandoned for the time being. Merry sat in quiet conversation with Legolas. He smiled as he protectively stoked his younger cousin's curls. Frodo turned back to Sam.
This- this was what he was doing it for. To protect the Shire- the home and people he loved. Unexpectedly, he pulled Sam into an embrace.
"Thank you, Sam." He whispered in the stout hobbit's ear. "I don't know where I'd be without you."
He pulled back and Sam flushed deeper than ever. Frodo took one look at his face and laughed out loud. Sam looked up in surprise at the sound that he hadn't heard in so long and slowly grinned too.
"Alright, everyone. We'd better head out." Aragorn's voice filtered into the moment and both hobbits looked up. Aragorn caught Frodo's eye and the hobbit smiled shyly at him. He nodded back, secretly relieved. The Ringbearer looked much better this morning.
Frodo and Sam slowly followed the rest of the Fellowship as they gathered up the remainders of their camp and began moving out. Sam was right. At that moment Frodo felt as though he could go anywhere as long as he still had something to hope for.
END
~AC~