A deeper, more in-depth look at the psychological side of Faramir's relationship with his brother and his father.
[Non-slash for all you stupid homophobes out there]
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Why?
It seems to me now that Boromir is gone, that question plagues me more frequently. My father has become more unbearable than before and I sit here and ask myself why?
All I ever wanted was to be treated equally by my father. Yet, he gave Boromir most of his attention, all of his love and devotion. I loved my brother dearly for all that has happened, and I was always treated as a human being with him. He trained me in all of his techniques, things that he would not show even our father or soldiers. I knew I was special to him.
But alas, all Denethor Steward of Gondor ever knew was Boromir.
Day in and day out it was "Boromir this, and Boromir that". I was never put into that mix. Nay, Faramir Captain of Gondor was but a bug under his feet, waiting to be trodden on. Father never showed me any of the affection I knew I deserved; that Boromir knew I deserved.
I remember when both my brother and I had returned from a glorious battle in which we both did an equal share to protect Gondor. We returned home to Minas Tirith, banners flying and crowds roaring. We marched up to the top level of the city and into the hall of Denethor. But, it would almost have been as if I weren't there, for all father did was congratulate my brother. What happened next I still cry over at night.
My brother, Boromir, silenced father with a word of command. He then turned to me and brought me to his side. I remember I stood slightly slouched, head bowed, leaning on my brother heavily.
"Father, I accept your praise wholeheartedly, but there is another that was part of this battle that you have yet to acknowledge."
My father merely nodded his head in my direction and continued singing praises of Boromir.
My heart swelled with pride at hearing my brother speak those words about me. Never before have I felt such joy. Yet, it wasn't enough.
I wanted my fathers approval.
The news of Boromir' death hit me hard. No matter how different my father treated us, I loved Boromir as a brother, not as anything else. He treated me like I deserved something…like I was something. I could never have been angry with him.
My heart is ripped to shreds as now, Denethor sits before me, wishing I had gone in Boromir's wake. The pain of not being treated as a son by my own father rips deeper than anything I have ever felt.
Have I not done enough to please him?
Trials that lasted weeks, months, even years, suicide missions, obeying his every command without argument. Is that not enough to earn the respect I deserve?
All I wish for is to once be treated as a son.
I want him to love me, to be proud of me.
He is my sire, so I will try once more to do him proud.
Just like Boromir.