A/N:This was done for a 10k words in 4 hours challenge so the grammer and spelling are lacking, as is structure. I will come back and edit later. I know it was posted 4h 30 but my computer froze and I had to re-type 2K words! Enjoy.
Remus walked through the doors to Grimmauld place that evening. Albus had invited him there for some special meeting. He knew he could trust the old man, but seeing as there was no one there, he wasn't so sure. He tripped over an interesting looking umbrella stand knocking it over.
"Bloody hell" he muttered.
'Filth and muggle born scum! How dare you bring your filthy selves into my house, the noble and most ancient House of Black-' The portrait upstairs screamed at Remus. A black dog scampered into the front hall and had a distinct look of worry in it's eyes until it could tell who the man was. The dog was an Animagus, it turned into Remus' best friend Sirius Black right in front of his eyes.
"Shut up you filthy old hag!" Sirius screamed at the painting of his mother, shutting it up instantly. "Remus I've missed you." Sirius said and embraced him tightly patting him on the back. Next to come was Emmeline Vance, obviously another member of Dumbledore's secret order that he had somehow assembled, that old man was brilliant, a bit nutty, but brilliant. When supposedly everyone was there, they all sat at the table; there was one vacant chair next to Remus. He supposed it was for Dumbledore, but the old man came in and stood at the head of the table. Looking around, his eyes gleamed at everyone, the crazy twinkle in them. "Hello all, I believe that we're missing Miss Nymphadora To-"he began but everyone was disrupted by a loud crash in the front hall. They heard a string of rapid fire curses and all ran to see if the intruder was ok, all but Sirius, he ran upstairs to shut up the portrait of his dear overly predjudiced mother. Remus ran into the front hall to come face to face with a pretty young woman, he turned bright red. She smiled at him and he felt a few butterflies in his stomach. Come now Remus, you are awfully pathetic. You don't even know this woman's name. He thought to himself about the pleasurable feeling she had given him. He helped her up slowly and Moody came down the hall to fetch the two. "Oh, hello Nymphadora" her hair got slightly red when he said this "thought you were an intruder, constant vigilance, Nymphadora, constant vigilance" he reminded her. Remus could tell she seemed slightly exasperated at having to hear the same phrase from him over and over. Well, it was Mad-Eye's motto, so you couldn't blame him. But he was quite paranoid, maybe they were right that he had lost his touch since his days as an Auror. "Yes, Sir." Nymphadora began "And don't call me Nymphadora!" she said the last part quite furiously. Remus could tell that she obviously didn't like the name. But, he thought it was quite a pretty name. A name couldn't make up who a person was, no, it was all in who they were inside themselves. Besides, a name like Nymphadora was nothing as bad as having lycanthropy. They headed back towards the table and sat down. "So nice of you to join us Tonksie." Sirius said cheerily to the woman and gave her a big hug. "Oy, Remus this is my cousin Tonksie. She's a Metamorphagus." He said proudly, beaming in her direction. As to prove Sirius' point, she scrunched up her face and concentrated very hard. The result was that her hair changed color, from the dull brown it had been when she came in, to a short and spiky bubblegum pink. Perhaps she had been trying to look mature or something, but Remus wasn't fooled, this hair style suited someone spunky like her much better than the other one. Albus raised his hand to signal to them all that the meeting would begin, everyone fell silent. Remus scanned the table, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Sirius, Molly, Arthur, Emmeline Vance, Dedalus Diggle and Nymphadora were amongst the people at the table. But someone seemed to be missing, he could tell by the way Dumbledore was waiting before talking even though everyone was quiet. As if to answer Remus' thoughts, they heard the door open and a pair of walking boots softly padding along the floor towards the dining room. Whoever it was had avoided tripping over the umbrella stand. The curtain of greasy hair and hooked nose of Severus Snape poked their way around the corner. "Good Evening Headmaster, sorry I'm late, I had some... Business to attend to." He drawled slowly, he looked as though he and the headmaster had an agreement amongst themselves as Dumbledore nodded slightly and gestured for Snape to find a seat. The way he had presented himself as though he dared someone to even question him, well that was presented to Sirius as a challenge accepted. He jumped out of his chair and started screaming "Come on Albus, you let Severus come here? He's obviously a death eater!" Sirius yelled in a rage, and Snape countered the arguement while Albus and Minerva attempted to keep the peace. Nymphadora tapped Remus lightly on the shoulder and motioned under the table, slightly understanding and not wanting to disappoint the beautiful woman, he ducked under the table cloth with her. "Wanna have some fun?" she asked him, a smirk on her face and a determined look on her face. He shrugged, he didn't know what she meant by 'fun' but anything would be better than another argument between Sirius and Severus. They both really needed to get over the past. "Sure, I'm in" he whispered. She reached into her pocket fumbling through lots of interesting little trinkets. A triumphant look in her eyes, she pulled out one of Dr Filibuster's no heat Wet start fireworks and rolled it between her fingers. "You know you want to" she taunted him, and she was right, he'd give anything for a little liveliness to be brought into this meeting. She pulled out six more and handed half the pile to Remus. "When I give you the signal" she said and put her head up from under the table. Remus was still under the table slightly dazed at the simplicity yet brilliancy to this woman. "What are you doing?" she hissed under the table at him, he realized how stupid it must've looked for them both to go under, but only her to come up. He retreated from under the table but no one had noticed their absence as Severus and Sirius were at each other's throats, and were about to pull out their wands for a full on duel. "Now" Tonks breathed quietly to him and she knocked her glass of butter beer on the fireworks that had been laying in front of her. Remus followed suit. Suddenly, the whole argument was interrupted by the fizzing and crackling noise being emitted from the fireworks before they took off with a crack. The pink and blue sparks were going everywhere and chasing people away from the table. Tonks started laughing like a madwoman as the fireworks attacked everyone at the table except for her and Remus. By the time they had fizzled out and the stunning display only remained in everyone's minds all eyes were on the duo. Albus chuckled warmheartedly at Tonks' giant grin, but the rest of them started shouting at her. They complained to Dumbledore that she was obviously too immature to be able to be in the Order and most of them left the meeting after getting themselves in a state over her joke. Finally, everyone had disapparated home outside of the front door step of Grimmauld place, except Sirius, Tonks and Remus. Sirius grabbed a giant bottle of Firewhiskey and began to drink himself to a place unreachable by all except the ones feeling his depression. Remus leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Two nights ago had been the full moon, he still felt exhausted. But Miss Tonks had been just too eager to start a conversation and literally jumped on him. "So, what do you do? I'm an Auror, I was trained by Mad Eye, he's the very best you know! I was in Hufflepuff, what house were you in?" she excitedly asked him. "I was a teacher before, at Hogwarts, not anymore though. "He said quietly without opening his eyes. He sat up and ruffled a hand through his hair and continued her attempt to make conversation "Why did you take all the heat for the joke? It was equally my fault too." He asked, truly astounded by her kindness towards him, something that was very rare, he knew that as soon as she found out about his condition, she'd distance herself from him. But he didn't want that, she was so perfect, but he was old and poor and dangerous, she could never want him. "Ah well, it's no big deal. I've always been in trouble, I'm a prankster, I'm just bad." She whispered, and he could swear there was a slight note of regret in her voice. The one he recognized from himself, the way you tried to make it seem like you didn't care, but you really did, truly, and it hurt every time someone stereotyped you. But sometimes you just had to accept that what you were was never enough for anyone. "You're not bad, I've known you for this long and you seem fine to me" he said honestly. "Most people don't want to be around me when they find out what I'm really like, you caught a glimpse of it tonight" she sighed. "It can't be as bad as when people find out what I am" he muttered half to himself. She stifled a yawn behind her hand unconvincingly. "You should probably be getting home" he whispered softly in her ear. She nodded and the two proceeded quietly towards the door trying not to wake Padfoot. But, it seemed he was awake, and quite drunk. "Tonksie, you and Remi should stay" he slurred. The two looked at him and protested that they needed to get home. Sirius shrugged, slopping Firewhiskey all over his clothes and tried to get to the stairs, but passed out half way there. Tonks giggled, "He deserves it" she whispered "I know it's not his fault he can't get out, but he doesn't need to drink so much." Remus nodded at her and took a step in front of her to open the door when she tripped over the umbrella stand. Sirius awoke with a start as the portrait began screaming and Remus caught Tonks before she could face plant like before. Sirius ran upstairs to silence the portrait and obviously fell asleep up there because in the quiet, stood Remus holding Tonks up from falling. She straightened herself up and smiled at him. He felt the butterflies come back and mentally smacked himself. "Thanks, I can barely stand on my own two feet a lot of the time. Barely passed stealth in Auror training, but I was amazing at disguisement and concealement, I am a Metamorphagus afterall." She boasted to him. Remus closed his eyes trying to ignore the fact that he wanted to throw her against the wall and kiss her. He decided instead to deny it with the fact that his hormones were obviously spiked as she was so young and perfect and there was no way he could ruin that. "I'd hope to see you around some time" she said to him, snapping him out of his reverie. "What-oh yea, I'll see you at the next meeting, when is it? A month right?" he asked her. He honestly knew he sounded like a total idiot right now and wouldn't be surprised if she was completely turned off. Instead, she turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Actually I think I'd like to see you sooner than that. How does the Three Broomsticks nest Tuesday at seven sound?" she asked him cheekily. He was totally confused that she was flirting with him instead of being totally repulsed by him, but she didn't know the truth yet he told himself hastily. That'll change everything. He thought, quite saddened by the idea of losing her, he'd even like if he could keep her as a friend. Because she wasn't allowed to love him, it just couldn't work that way. He remembered then that she had asked him out and he grunted in response, too stunned to actually say anything. "Awesome. See you then" she smiled and he felt the strong urge to kiss her right back. He smiled and added "As friends right?" suddenly, not because he wanted to. Because he had to, he couldn't ruin something as wonderful as her, with someone as tainted as himself. "Oh yea, sure" she muttered looking slightly crestfallen and held her hand out. He shook it feeling the softness of her touch, her scent lingering slightly in the air as she disapparated. He shook himself out of his daze and hurried home.
Tonks slept like a log last night, all her dreams involving a million piles of unfinished work chasing her and longing to be done while she longed to be with Remus. It was just an innocent love, nothing more, she had a feeling she'd never getting any futher with him, but she wished so desperately she could. He was uninterested, what more could she say? She had tried to get him to understand the way his pale blue eyes captivated her, from the moment he came to see if she was ok when no one else did. She had always been a very bubbly fun and happy person, with no place in her for seriousness. But, somehow remus was bringing this into a whole new light for her. Maybe being serious wasn't a curse after all, she had always been an open book to anyone who wanted to read her. But Remus was something else, so serious and quiet and reserved, yet he had still agreed to helping set of the fireworks and had tried to protest against her taking the blame. There was obviously more to him than what met the eye, more to him than she had thought. But honestly, what had she thought when she met him? She hadn't thought at all. It had just been a moment where she felt happy someone had for once in her life cared so much about her. Then, they had realised they both hand some sort of bond, some sort of understanding. He was complaining about how people didn't like him once they found out what was wrong with him. But what could be wrong with him? Tonks vowed to herself that if she had any time at work, she'd look through the personal files and try to find Remus, but then she came to a problem. She didn't even know his last name. But, deciding that there couldn't be that many Remus' after all it was a very unique name; she would do her best to find out what this dirty little secret of his was. Nymphadora opened her eyes as the sunlight shone in through her curtains and she attempted to close them but couldn't find her wand. Her owl Pierre started pecking at her arm making big beak marks in it that would definitely scar up later. "Go away" she mumbled "I'm too tired" but the owl insisted that she pay attention to it. She opened one eye up to see that the owl had a piece of parchement tied to its leg. She opened it up lazily and read the letter.
Dear Nymphadora,
Where are you? Cornelius is coming down to check on our department soon, he has heard that we've been having problems. If he discovers that you aren't here, he'll destroy all of us, especially you. You know how important it is to have all Aurors present lately with the uprising of you know who. Get your butt her as fast as you can.
Kingsley Shacklebolt.
She read, she continued to stare blankly when it hit her. "Bloody Hell, I've got to get to work" she screamed and bolted upright. She gave her owl a bit of food and hurried as fast as she could to scramble out of her Weird Sisters t-shirt and into her clothes for work. She strode down the stairs in her robes taking the steps two at a time and downed dove to the fridge trying to find something fast that would satisfy her hunger that was growing very quickly in her stomach. Much to her luck of this day, she found nothing but some old sandwich that looked like it was growing some sort of mold on it. Revolted, she tossed it across the room and tried to imagine a giant buffet that they always had at work full of food so that she could Transfigure some of it for herself. It didn't work, perhaps vecause her mind was totally on Remus. She scowled at the sandwich that she swore had moved on it's own and picked it up attempting to take a bite, but immediately spat out the piece of rotting meat she had managed to pull apart from the rubbery sandwich. She ran out of her flat and disapparated to work knowing jow much trouble she would be in afterwards, but she didn't care, because it wouldn't matter if she wasn't caught. She ran as fast as she coukd once inside the ministry and ran right into Kingsley Shacklebolt. "Kinglsey did they, did fudge did " she panted but he silenced her "Ssh, Nymphadora, I distracted him, you'll be fine for right now, but you better hurry, or else you won't be. The two hurried along the long winding corridors into the aurors office. She plopped down infornt of the mountains of paperwork and groaned as loudly as she could. Luckily, there was a little tray full of cupcakes and other treats in front of her. "Don't. "Kingsley said to her and swiped them away "Full of Amorentia, it's from the Stewart Cuthbert who has a crush on you" he said. She sighed, her hope for a good day had been completly dismantled. She was never ever ever going to go out with Stewart and she had no idea why he wouldn't just give up when she said give up. She couldn't believe his nerve to give her Amorentia filled goodies, what a little git. Fudge came strolling down and Tonks pretended to be working very hard on her paperwork. Gosh, if I had any idea being an Auror would be this much paperwork and barely any excitement, I wouldn't have signed up for this. "Very good Dawlish, ah tip-top shape I see Cuthbert, Brooks you need to try harder the answer to that question is obviously no, not maybe, I will not accept the negotiations. You guys need to work better, my Aurors need to be top-notch. Ah Miss Nymphadora, do what I owe the pleasure?" he asked her. She knew he was faking the evil little smile on his ugly face under his stupid bowler hat. "Just working, Minister" she said trying to attempt a cheery look, but she could tell he wasn't fooled. "Miss Tonks, I need you to submit to some question about a secret organisation that may be going on that you might be associated with, it won't be long" he said still sugar coating whatever the heck he was talking about. Tonks nodded and they both disapparated to his office at the nod of his head. "So, Delores Umbridge has been keeping a healthy eye out for all my Aurors and she has noticed some interesting conversations between you and other officials you are not usually associated with. " He began, she could tell he knew about the Order, but she wasn't talking. "Like Who?" she asked attempting to look as innocent as possible so he couldn't possibly suspect her, but it was a little too late for that. "Arthur Weasley, Dedalus Diggle, Kingsley Shacklebolt, to name a few of those who work here. We've also noticed increased interaction between you and Albus Dumbledore. What have you to say about this, Miss Nymphadora?" She tried her best to keep her cool For the Order, she thought And for Remus. "Well Minister, I have been talking to them for advice on how to best do my career, and Dumbledore about him potentially teaching me an advanced Occlumency class" Tonks lied through gritted teeth. "What about some secret organisation plotting to overthrow me?" Fudge asked,the little man jumping around in frustration to her restitance. "Sorry, I don't know anything about it" she lied again, it was getting a bit harder to hide the truth, but she had to try. "What about Remus Lupin?" he asked, Tonks got bright red and he could tell he had struck gold there. "I-I we met somewhere, we're just friends-" her voice faltered and she knew she has almost given away the secret. Technically, she wasn't lying as they were only friends, but he could probably see through most of her lies. He smirked and continued "Very well Nymphadora, but it'd be best you side with me and if you know anything of this organisation please tell me. As for Remus, well I hope you'd stay a distance and a half away from him. He's a dangerous creature that one, I thought even you'd be able to tell that much about him." Before she could even ask what he was talking about, he was bidding her goodbye and pushed her out of his office. On the way back, Hestia Jones was walking nervously towards Fudge's office. "Submit to a question-did you have to?" she asked Tonks. Tonks and her had only talked three times before, and more often than not, Hestia had a big mouth and tended to be favorited by Fudge. Tonks didn't like her, and she didn't like Tonks, but when it came down to the Order, they were all on the same side, and that was against He Who Must Not Be Named. "Oh yea, I was questioned. He's trying to crack down on all of us, trying to get the information out. Don't say anything, if you don't know how to answer one of his questions, don't answer at all. He can't fire you, not yet, not until you'd have a trial for denying him information he doesn't need his bloody hands on. You'll be fine Hestia" Tonks blubbered to her, seeing the worried expression across her face. "Be strong, for the Order." Tonks said reassuringly to her " And pass on the message" she added realising she had no time to sit around and tell them all that. Her day was monotonous and slow, she was very excited, for it was only a week until her and Remus' date. Well you couldn't actually call it a date, he thought they were just friends who were going out to discuss life. But, it had to be a date, you couldn't just click like that with someone and decide to be just friends. She was pretty sure that he felt the same way; he got so red when she kissed him, as did she. Her parents would not approve, sure he was nice and kind and could probably teach her a thing or two about manners, but apparently he was 'dangerous'. According to him and Fudge, but he seemed so totally harmless to Tonks. He was thirteen years older than her according to Sirius, but why did that matter? She could try for some younger man who would welcome her with open arms, Stewart would. So would Eddie from the Office of Underage Magic, and he was a pretty good looking bloke. But, it wasn't the same as Remus, the way they had just come to understand each other within moments of meeting. The way his eyes bore into her very soul, into who she was, the way he showed her that she needed to be fine with who she was. Sure, her entire week had been totally monotonous, but then Tuesday evening approached oh so very fast for someone like her who liked to relax. She was very jittery and nervous, and straight when she got home from work, she set right into her closet. She originally had wanted to wear a very revealing shirt with a very short skirt, but she had forgotten that it was too cold for that. It was the beginning of December so she'd have to dress much more for the weather. She finally decided on a Weird Sisters tee shirt that was baby blue with a belt around it, and some teal skinny jeans. She decided on her hair being short and bubblegum pink with aqua colored streaks in it to match to her outfit. And after forever, she made her eyes a purply blue color that was simply stunning. Remus knocked on the door of the little flat and stood there anxiously waiting for Tonks to come. Technically, he could've run away and hid from her, he didn't want for them to ever make it past friends, he needed for them to. But, he could never let her know that. She opened the door and looked out at Remus. He was wearing his robes that were a bit shabby and had a hole in the pocket. He still looked totally stunning and he stood out there shivering in the mid-winter snow. "Are you ready?" he asked Tonks and she nodded excitedly. "We're just friends Nymphadora" he reminded her and she turned to him trying to act mad but couldn't be "Don't call me that!" she giggled while trying to be serious about it. "It's a lovely name" he muttered before they linked arms and disapparated to Hogsmeade village.
In the Three Broomsticks, they sat and both got hot butter beers. She was more nervous than she had ever been in her entire life and couldn't even trust herself to speak. She looked at him and tried to get him to focus on her. Truth was, he was doing everything to not look at her, he couldn't bear to see something so beautiful that wasn't allowed to be his. She smiled over at him and he felt the stupid butterflies dancing around in his stomach again. He was about to ask about how her week had been when she asked him a question "If people get butterflies in their stomach, do butterflies get people in their stomach?" she asked. He smirked and almost choked on his butter beer, he remembered how many times Sirius and James had asked him that when they were at Hogwarts. "Sirius and James used to always ask me that" he said full of remorse for the fact that he was enjoying himself while Sirius was cooped up inside and James was dead. "You were friends with Sirius? But you're so so-" she began "Normal?" he asked "Yea, I get that a lot." Tonks felt her heart sink a little, she was going to say amazing. The question that was threatening to eat her up finally came up and she couldn't believe herself for asking "Why do you keep on saying this isn't a date?" she asked him. Her curiousity was overwhelming her and she had to know why. And what was all this nonsense about him being 'dangerous' yes, because Flobberworms were dangerous. She didn't mean to compare him a Flobberworm, except that he was innocent and not dangerous like those. But he was nowhere near as dull. "Dumbledore's got me examining a werewolf pack to see if they've joined Fenrir Greyback" he said absentmindedly trying to find any excuse to change the subject. "Oh my gosh, are you ok? They haven't bitten you yet? Why would he make you do that, you could get hurt, we'd all be so upset, what if they kill you? I- I'd" but she didn't finish her thought remember that they weren't supposed to be anything more than friends. She was thinking she'd die if he died, but scoffed at herself Don't be silly, you've just met him, you can't feel that much about someone who doesn't want to love you or let you love them! She told herself so many times in a row, she knew there was no way she could love him yet, but for some reason she believed she might love him. "I'm more dangerous than them." He muttered darkly to her. He was being mysterious, whether it was just his nature or it was purposeful, she didn't know, however she wanted to know more about him. She looked at her watch noticing that it was past 11, man how time flew when you were having fun. "Tonks, we're just friends ok, don't take it the wrong way, but I don't like you like that. And you shouldn't like me. I will never like you like that." He said to her and her eyes filled with tears. "It's because I'm too young isn't it? Well good because I've never liked you either! I-I have to go" she stammered and stood up knocking her butter beer all over the table. She abruptly took off and ran outside into the snow trying to get away from him. He didn't have to be so mean about it the whole I'll never love you part was enough to break her heart. "Tonks wait, I didn't mean it like-" Remus began, but the rest of his sentence was drowned out by the sound of her heart beating through the silence as she disapparated and left him standing looking stupid all by himself out in the snow. Tonks fell onto her bed and began to sob, it wasn't fair, and she never got what she wanted. She always had boys liking her, but never the right ones. No matter how she changed herself she could never succeed at getting the one she wanted. Remus was like the Timothy Cahill of her third year, the boy who could somehow resist everything she had to offer and make excuses for why he couldn't like her. But, the difference was that she loved Remus.
Remus kept on banging his head against his bedroom wall that night. How could he be so stupid? She had wanted him and he had broken her. But he had every right to, he reasoned with himself, she was rushing into something and she had no idea what she was doing. She didn't know that he was too dangerous, he'd tear her apart in his beast form. Even more so than when he resisted her in his normal form. Sitting up he tried to clear his head, and decided to make a list. His list was of reasons he shouldn't love Tonks, things wrong with her. But it didn't work, he only came up with more reasons to like her. She's too funny, she's too beautiful, she's sweet, she's kind, she's young, she's lively, she's fun to be with. He fell asleep dreaming dreams of her while her scent linger throughout the air on him. The following morning he awoke and took note of the Calendar date, December 22. "Shit" he muttered to himself realizing that he was going to have to be away on Christmas to continue spying on the werewolves. But, he needed to apologize to Tonks, before she slipped through his fingers. He got his owl Pear (he had named the owl when he was eleven, that's why he had such a stupid name) and quickly scrawled down a note to Dumbledore.
Albus,
Can I have Christmas Eve off? I don't think the werewolves will be doing anything interesting or dangerous besides getting super drunk. Sirius would like for me to stay with him at Grimmauld Place, or perhaps at the burrow. Please, can I? I'd appreciate it so much. Thanks,
Remus.
He attached the letter to pear's leg and sent it out to Albus he looked over at his note on his desk that he needed to send to Tonks, he needed to apologize, if not now then at Christmas. But before Pear came back, another little owl came through the window and started pecking on his fingers. He uncurled the note tied around the little owl's leg and began to read the hastily scrawled script.
Remus,
Let's just forget about last night, ok? We're just friends, we'd be better off in love with other people, so we obviously weren't in love, you know, just feeling romantic. Anyways, you need to get over to the school now, Harry had a vision through you know who's mind and Arthur Weasley got attacked by Nagini, he who must not be named's snake. The Weasley's are all in distress and we're all here and will be heading to Saint Mungo's soon. Please Come.
Tonks.
He could tell it was urgent because of how messy the writing was. He swore he could see the ghost of a teardrop of the parchement at the part about being just friends, but he was sure he was imagining it. The thought of seeing her again hurt but filled him will excitement too. He could apologize, but it was too late. She had already moved on. It wouldn't matter if he wasted any time on telling her he loved her now, it was much too late for that. He pulled on his travelling cloak and his robes and apparated to outside Hogwarts school grounds at 2 am. He ran inside hurrying down towards the Dumbledore's office where Harry stood ghostly white and shaking from the glimpse inside Voldemort's mind. All the Weasley children, Snape, Mcgonagall, tonks and Dumbledore stood before me. Harry tried to explain what he had seen while Dumbledore paced the room anxiously, it was the first time Remus had ever seen Dumbledore looking uncertain of anything. He could tell that he was forcing the calm and quietness that enveloped the room. Tonks looked over at him and he caught her eye trying to apologize without speaking, but he saw the hurt in her eyes as she turned away to keep from saying anything. He knew this was about the secret inside the department of mysteries right now, and Harry and Arthur. Not them, it was part of Harry's story not part of their's but Remus couldn't help but feel their story would be over if he didn't fix it soon. Dumbledore started speaking to Snape and Harry, but Remus couldn't hear, he could see the words but hear nothing as his mind was on Tonks. Snape took Harry by the arm down to the dungeons and the Weasley children accompanied by Tonks and McGonagall got Dumbledore to let down the shields on the school for a moment so they could get to Saint Mungo's. "Remus, Remus" Dumbledore said to me as my eyes were glued to the spot where Tonks had disapparated from. "What, oh sorry, headmaster, just thinking..." I said and sighed resignedly. I really didn't like giving up unless it was the only option, but it seemed at this moment, it was the only choice. Tonks was playing an impossible chase that I couldn't pursue. She was way too good for me and we both knew it so why question it, why experiment with something that was sure to fail. "Remus, take a seat" he said and I sat "You may go visit Arthur once we discuss something." "Yea what?" I asked and the madman glimmer in his eyes went off again. "Remus, I understand you want this Christmas off, I'm perfectly ok with it. But I was curious, does this have anything to do with Miss Tonks perhaps?" he asked. He had caught Remus completely off guard "Yes, uhh No, I mean, uhh" he took a deep breath and started all over again. "We're just friends professor." Remus said in the same voice he used to use whenever he was asked to explain why Sirius and James had done something particularly stupid. "Well i think miss Tonks rather fancies you." He said and Remus shrugged and got up to disapparate to Saint Mungo's to see if Arthur was ok. "Remus, never think you aren't good enough for something" he said in his wisdomatic voice. Remus knew he was right, but what did the old man know about love? He somehow didn't realise how Minerva was trying to catch his eye all the time, he somehow ignored it and felt no remorse. Unless, he was gay? No that'd be totally silly, Remus pushed a hilarious image of Snape making suggestive movements at Dumbledore until they started slow dancing from my mind. He'd have to share that with Sirius later, he'd definitely want to hear about it, anything for him to get on Snape's nerves. Remus came into the hospital room where all the Weasley children were sleeping on the floor beside their father's bed and Molly was sitting holding Arthur's hand while he slept. She smiled at him and gestured at Tonks who was sitting at the far corner on one of the window seats staring out the window at the stars. Remus walked over to Tonks and sighed at how beautiful she looked with the moonlight shining in high lighting on her face. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and her eyes looked very watery. "It's beautiful isn't it?" she asked him and pointed out the window at all the stars shining bright. "I Wonder if it's lonely in space. If the stars ever get lonely, if they ever fall in love." She said in a dreamy sort of voice he had never heard before on her, he could tell it was because she was tired. "Just go to sleep" I'll watch over you and wake you up in the morning. Besides you need to get a good rest, you're coming to the Weasley's Christmas party right?" he said trying to sound upbeat and happy like she usually was. She shrugged and across the room Molly whispered "Of course you are Tonks" and Tonks beamed before closing her eyes."Remus" she said softly opening her eyes "Can you sit down too so that I won't fall off?" she asked, he smiled and sat down beside her. She started softly snoring and he took a mental picture of how peaceful and serene she looked, unlike her usualness of when she was awake. He turned over and saw Molly sleeping on the side of Arthur's bed and thought about how happy they were together. He slowly moved his hand to see if Tonks would wake up, to his contentment she continued sleeping like a baby. He put his arms around her realizing right then how lucky he was to be here right now and to be having something so special all to himself. He stroked her hair lovingly while holding her in his other arm. She moved a bit in her sleep and he recoiled a little, fearing what she'd do if she woke up in his arms. He moved in again and she put her head on his chest and continued to sleep. He wished that forever and for always she could be his and he could stay in that moment. But sadly that wasn't the way it could work, he was destined to live unhappily. He felt so tired, his muscles ached and despite his outburst the other night and the fact that Tonks no longer wanted him, he was for once happy in this little snapshot of his life. Somewhere between the lines, he fell asleep and dreamed of Tonks. With her bubblegum pink hair and purple eyes, and her slender frame with her cheery face and her upbeat attitude. He dreamt of a meadow, and they were both sitting talking and suddenly he leaned in and kissed her. And he was smiling so much because he was lucky, but in his waking life that was something he seemed to be lacking. Luck. When he awoke in the morning, he was relieved to find that Tonks was still asleep her body against his, however all the Weasley were staring intently at him with their big eyes. He jumped in shock seeing how many of them had witnessed this little incident. Arthur, molly, Ginny, Fred, George and Ron had all seen it. "Not a word" Remus whispered to them and they all burst out in fits of giggle that awoke somehow didn't awaken Tonks. Remus slowly slipped out from her grasp and left the hospital wing after promising all the Weasley family that he'd be coming to the Christmas party. And he was looking forward to it more than anything, but in the mean time, he had to file some more paperwork for Albus about the werewolf activities. He wished someone else could do this for him, but no one else could he was the only one who was cursed with this stupid disease, all because of his dumb father.
"What? Where's Remus? Where'd he sleep? Aren't I supposed to be at work? Fudge will kill me..." Tonks began, her eyes full of questions that she needed all the Weasleys to answer for her. "It's fine dear. You fell asleep. Remus has gone to complete some paperwork for Dumbledore, he will see you at our Christmas party tomorrow night. You have the next few days off work, we told fudge you were deeply affected by Arthur's condition and he reluctulantly let you off work. " Tonks didn't even know the beginning of what had happened last night between her and Remus. "Molly, I had a dream, it was just that Remus kind of held me while I slept- never mind it's nothing, it couldn't have possibly happened!" Tonks said. Molly just looked at Arthur with a grin on her face, a shared secret between them, about something that wasn't a dream. But the start of romance between little Tonks and Remus Lupin. Tonks had really hoped she had not been lying, after all she had completely started to fall for Remus and she knew it, and was pretty sure everyone else did. He was her superman, he had caught her when she fell over the umbrella stand, now she needed him to catch her while she was falling over a much bigger obstacle, love for her. She hurried home and fell asleep until the next evening and noticed that she was so close to the party. She got herself ready very anxious about what could happen. Maybe Remus and her could start a new as a couple, she'd love for that. She found a black dress that cut very low and show a good amount of cleavage, she knew that wasn't the way to go, but sometimes a girl needed a little help. She arrived at the Weasleys and sat down at the kitchen table while drinking a glass of Pumpkin juice and imagining the look on Remus' face when he entered the house. Her house was shoulder length and blond with a pink streak and her eyes were bright green. Sirius had some how managed to come with Harry and he came and gave his little cousin a huge hug. "So I hear you and Lupin are together, eh?" he asked. Tonks blushed bright pink and shook her head at Sirius she knew if he thought they were together there'd be no convincing him out of it. He danced around singing loudly Tonksie and Lupin sitting in a tree kissing over and over until Molly threatened to give him to Fudge, which shut him right up. All the younger kids were upstairs probably playing some dirty game of Spin the Bottle as everyone could tell Harry wanted to get Ginny topless. Tonks shudder at the thought of those young kids being so over sexual, but then recalled how many broom closets in Hogwarts she had been in. Yep, she was definitely Sirius' cousin. Sirius was dancing with Hestia Jones trying to kiss her while she kept on looking totally repulsed. Sure, he was good looking, but what a prat. Hestia obviously had her eyes on Remus, but I'd never let him near her, he was always going to be mine. Remus had been having an important conversation with Arthur so I hadn't had a chance to talk to him yet. Arthur had went off to find Molly so that they could dance to the newest Celestina Warbeck song, as that was Molly's favorite singer. Remus came into the kitchen and looked at me. "Hey Remus"Tonks said trying to sound seductive, he faltered and said "I'm sorry, I don't know you, I need to find Tonks have you seen her?" She looked at him like he was Sirius, because honestly only someone that daft would think she was someone else. "It's me silly" she said to him and he looked stunned. Tonks could tell he was somewhat uncomfortable with me looking like this. She started laughing and reminded him of the butterflies having people in their stomach because she had so many butterflies right now. His ice blue eyes bore into her and he looked so hot she felt like she was fifteen again. "Ok, fine, is this better?" Tonks asked and scrunched up her face until her hair was a bright bubblegum pink and her eyes were purple. "Tonks, what do you really look like?" he asked her, because he really wanted to know. "Not nearly as good, I look so dull." She sighed and closed her eyes and her hair grew to shoulder length auburn coloured hair and she had hazel eyes. "Can I please change back now?" She asked very annoyed with her usual look. "No, you look fine." He said. "Come on," Tonks said and put her arms around his neck," let's dance. And stop staring down my dress Remus gosh, I'm not that pretty" She joked and swatted him playfully on the arm. "Liar" he breathed softly and put his hands on her slender waist. Never in his life had he felt so close yet, so far away from something especially her. He wanted to be closer, but he couldn't bring himself to ask if he could. But, he didn't have to, Tonks leaned in and pressed herself against him. She was a master seductress, the feeling of her chest heaving against his had sent him over the deep end, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. And he wanted to test that luck even more. He was an animal, he couldn't control the impulse to kiss her right there, but a nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that he wasn't allowed. He broke away from her and excused himself into the living room. He pulled at the tie around his neck pretending to be too smoldering hot to be able to dance anymore Arthur looked at Remus a curious look in his eye as Molly joined him. "Where is Tonks? " Molly asked him a bit afraid for the truth that she could sense she was going to get. "I-I left her in the middle of dancing, she was trying to kiss me" Remus faltered remembering the moment so vividly it made it hard to think about. "Remus don't be an idiot! She loves you; she dressed like this, although I don't approve of it, for you. Now go back there now!" Molly roared, she was the Mama bear and Tonks was like one of her cubs, she wouldn't let them get hurt by anything. Remus walked back into the kitchen and came up to Tonks "I'm sorry Nymphadora, I was acting too immature earlier, I can't be with you, it isn't appropriate. I need to stop acting like that, you're like a student to me, we can't be together ok, please just don't make this too hard for me." He whispered, he felt so much regret saying this kind of thing to her because he loved her too damn much for these mind games. It hurt for them to be apart, but they had to be, they couldn't be. He felt like dying without her, but he was going to have to live with the emptiness for at least a little while, even though she wanted him. "You are so stupid Remus Lupin. I hate you!" she screamed at Lupin and punched him in the arm before running away the tears streaming down her face. He felt even more regret when he wished he hadn't said it, wished he had made her stay. The nagging voice in the back of his mind was satisfied, yea, but the whole rest of him was falling apart. He could feel where they fit perfectly together, her arms around his neck, him moulded into her like they were meant to be. He tried re-enacting dancing with Tonks without her, using thin air as the model and dancing by himself. Sirius walked in and was quite shocked to see this "Dude, you are so hammered" he said while holding a bottle of Firewhiskey and chugging it before hurrying down the hall swaying everywhere. Well, apparently he ran into Molly who took his FireWhiskey and Sirius puked on her shoes. Remus realizing in how much of a rage Molly was in, hurried away before she could find him and scold him for everything he had done wrong and try and give him a course in love. That would be like Sex Ed class from Public School all over again, and he didn't want that. He headed out to the garage so that he could disapparate home or go for a walk. But it seemed as though someone had already beat him to the idea, in the far corner of the garage on the floor sat Nymphadora. "Tonks" he whispered, amazed at the fact that she hadn't tried to kill him with all her Auror skills for breaking her heart. "You're going to ruin that really pretty dress, you know. I'm no expert, but I can tell that much" he said to her trying to make conversation. She shrugged, the dress was strapless and cut in pretty low and was black. The bottom ended halfway between her knees and her waist and was ruffled. He gave her a hand and helped her up, but she tried to refuse. "Leave me alone Remus, do you think I really want to hear you come apologize you so can break my heart over and over again? Or are you coming to brag that you were right?" she said. Remus looked really hurt, not by the way she had insulted him but by the way he had hurt her, it was a pain beyond comprehension beyond words. "Do you think I'd really do that?" he asked astonished that she'd believe that. She shrugged and he pulled her up. "Dora, it's not like that" he began "I promise you it isn't like that. Do you really think I like to hurt you? Because I don't, it hurts me too." He pulled her up but she shied away from his touch. Not because his hands were cold because his actions had been. And that was something much worse than that. "Dora, please" he whispered and put his thumb underneath her chin propping it up and trying to turn her head towards him. "I'm sorry" he whispered "But if you never want to see me again, that's fine too, I don't think I can live with it though." She smiled as the tears continued running down her heart shaped face, this wasn't the normal Tonks, she was normally bubbly and upbeat. But, now this was Tonks in love, she was broken a million times over because him, but he would keep on trying to build her back up. Because no one could stand her being like this, she had to be happy. "Tonks, me without you is like a snowstorm in the middle of summer. It's just not possible." He said and she instantly brightened up. She hugged him and they molded together as one once again the way they were supposed to be that's just who they were. In that moment he felt the sweet guilt he always felt when this kind of thing happened, but unlike usual he wasn't going to hide and pull away, he needed to be there for her, she deserved that much. "I don't deserve you" she whispered softly into his ear and put her head on his chest. "I don't deserve you Tonks, you're beautiful and perfect" he argued back. She shied away and he grabbed her and pulled her back in "I'm nothing special, or pretty" she said and looked up into his eyes. "Liar. You're so beautiful and don't let anyone tell you anything different. You're beautiful when you sleep, when you laugh, when you cry, always." She smiled and hugged him even tighter and he felt the same way he had before, complete and more than he could ever be by himself. "So that wasn't a dream..." she sighed happily. She too could remember the night she had asked him to sleep right with her in Saint Mungo's and he had, he had wrapped his arms tight around her and stroked her hair tenderly being so thankful for having someone like her. They stayed hugging in silence for some time before Remus spoke once again "Remember this moment, ok?" he said. "Why?" she asked "Because there will be millions more, but I want for you to remember the very first." Her eyes lit up and she looked at him with some sort of pride, he loved that about her. He looked at her, hazel eyes, auburn hair and everything about her made his heart stop beating the moment he looked at her. But he was taking her honor by being with her; he wasn't taking her innocence too, although he sensed she'd probably given a lot of that away too. "Hey Tonks, if you're still so convinced that I'm staring down you dress, that reminds me, May I have this dance?" he asked trying to be as charming as possible. She took his hand and they danced slowly, their bodies tangling together proving to anyone who didn't already understand that that they were meant to be together and no one would ever be able to change that. They spun around inside the Weasley's garage as the snow fell outside and they were so happy. The tears were still running down Tonks face and Remus stopped dancing to see what was wrong. "Tonks, what's wrong? What did I do? I'm sorry. Are you still upset?" he asked and she put a finger to his lips. "I'm just too happy, my heart can't express these words, their coming out as tears of joy instead" she whispered to him and put her arms around his neck and he put his back around her waist to continue dancing. "What if someone sees though" Tonks asked Remus slightly afraid for his answer and he said "then they'll be happy for us. Because I don't deserve someone so freaking beautiful!" She smiled and he pulled out a pearl necklace with a sapphire in the middle shaped like a heart and held it in the palm of his hand. "Tonks, I'm not much, and I'm dangerous yes, but I know life is going to get busier. And we won't forget about each other I get that much, but maybe something material instead of just a promise? Tonks, this might take you by surprise, but will you wait for me? I'd like to marry you, and I'm not much, but maybe in the future we can get married. Promise you won't forget me, ok? Here" Remus said and revealed the necklace to Tonks placing it around her slender neck. She admired it as a million and one things ran through her mind. Her heart racing, she couldn't believe this was actually happening; it just seemed too perfect to be true. But then she realized what if it wasn't true? She pushed herself up against Remus, as close as she could and stood on the tips of her toes trying to reach his lips. If this was a dream, she'd wake up crying, but it was too good to be true, and she knew it. She planted a firm kiss on his lips and they held it there for what seemed like hours. His lips tasted like Cherry Tarts sweet but slightly sour. She couldn't believe her luck, nor could he. And she turned to him and said "Remus I love you." But he replied "I love you most" and kissed her in the garage with the whole Weasley family watching.
Tonks closed her eyes never wanting for that moment to end but opened them again and was in her bed. She started to cry so hard that her chest hurt, it was the best dream ever. But it was only a dream, and nothing she could say would change that. "Tonks, hunny what's wrong?" Remus' voice rang out. He came into the room and placed something on the night table. She dove into his arms. "Oh Remus, I love you so much, never let me go." He stroked her hair soothingly the way he had that night so long ago in saint mungo's. "Tonks, what's gotten into you?" he asked with a chuckle but a very confused look in his ice blue eyes. "I had a dream, it was about everything we had been through, but then right after you gave me that promise necklace, and our first kiss, I woke up, and I thought it had all been a dream, but it was a flashback, I'm okay now." She sighed after saying the whole thing as fast as she could. She looked around the room and realized what had happened. "We got married?" she asked excitedly. "Yes love, we did, you're just very confused obviously because of that dream..." he was totally confused once more so Tonks stopped talking and planted a kiss on his lips. Anyone watching probably would've assumed they were eating each others faces, but that's what you do in love, isn't it? She kissed him as many times as her lips would allow and then asked "What day is it?" he smiled and said Christmas Eve's day, and she flashbacked again to that many years ago on this same day. He had proposed after only knowing her for over a month. They had just somehow clicked, maybe that's what happens in love? Well the only thing Tonks was sure of was that it was a simply wonderful feeling to know how much they both loved each other. The two got dressed for the Christmas party at the Weasley's and linked arms to apparate like they had so many years ago. And when she got in the door, everything seemed to come flooding back, all the vague distant memories and all the recent ones too. She turned to Remus and kissed him again right in the front hall way where Ginny and Harry had been kissing moments previous. They enjoyed the life of the party that the place had to offer and went back to where he had proposed. "Do you remember?" he asked smiling. And she nodded and kissed him on the forhead standing on tippy toes to try and reach the tall man's hair line. He planted a bunch on her jaw line and down her neck to the top of her dress. He reached his arms around her and they stood there watching the stars thinking, and wondering. Wondering how they had fallen for each other and why Remus had been so obstinate and then Tonks remembered something from present time. "Remus, I think I'm pregnant." She said.