Warning: this is a connecting story to The Right Fish and has a lot of spoilers in it. Read at your own risk.
If Mistakes Were Kisses, I'd Have Enough For A Life Time
I never meant for it to happen. Or for it to go as far as it did. I guess thats an overused line though. I suppose next I should say it wasn't what it seemed, but it was, or close enough to it. I loved my wife more than anything. More than anyone else. But she was never there, there was always something going on. Something more important. Not to say it was right. I fucked up. I knew it, Seth knew it and now Bella did too. And no matter what I say. I can't justify what I did.
I had met Tanya over a year and a half ago. I was a newly graduated 21 year old and I admit I was a bit cocky about it. I had never been popular with females other than Bella and I never understood what she saw in me. I was lanky as as teen and overly awkward. But suddenly I had their attention. I had her attention. She was 28 and already had a well established career. I guess in a way she was my mentor and she never hid the fact that she was attracted to me.
I ignored it of course. I was happily married and she knew that. She crossed the line a lot and I knew it was a mistake now to have ignored it. To have brushed it off. But she helped me a lot in that first year. I felt like I owed her somehow.
The first time we slept together was a complete mistake. I can't even say I remembered the details. We had moved down to Seattle three four months earlier. Bella had already started at Swan Enterprises three months before we had found a place and actually moved down there. She was well into her new position and was gone more often than she was home.
I was in L.A for a court case. My biggest to date in fact and I had ended up winning it. Bella was suppose to be there. She had promised she'd fly down. But of course something came up. A deal had fallen through and Bella was getting the blame. She had to stay. I had understand it was important. That if the could have left, she would have. I was feeling sorry for myself I guess. But that was no excuse.
I shouldn't have accepted the invitation. When Tanya knock on my hotel door, dressed in a skin tight red dress, with a sly smile on her face and waving a bottle of my favorite wine. Tempting me to come out with her to celebrate the win. I should have said no. I should have called Bella instead, to ask how the deal went. Or to boast about my win. I knew she'd take the time. Even if she didn't have it, to congratulate me. But I didn't. I left my phone sitting on my bed side table instead and made the biggest mistake of my life.
I should have know better. Tanya was one of the best divorce lawyer is New York. Kind of ironic now that I think about it. She knew how to play the game and she played it well. When I woke up the next morning, a blinding headache and mess of blonde hair in my face. I didn't know what to think. I had never even thought of cheating on Bella and yet, there I was wrapped around someone who was definitely not my wife. It should have ended there. In that hotel room. Before we ever got back to Seattle. I did end it to. Waking her up. I told her it was a mistake. That it should never have happened. That what happened needed to stay in L.A. I loved my wife.
It didn't stay in L.A though. Three weeks after returning I had almost put it all behind me. The guilt ate away at me every day. But it had been a mistake. One I hadn't thought I'd make again. But she just had to throw me a curve ball when she walked into my office and handed me a bunch of photos.
They had been of us. Of that night in L.A and others of us around Seattle. The ones in Seattle were innocent enough, but put with the L.A ones it all made a very clear story. I had thought she wanted money.
Maybe she didn't realise that even though I was well off growing up, most of the wealth was on Bella's side. But she hadn't wanted money anyway. She had wanted me. The affair would continue, or she would show Bella everything and I'd lose her. I never understood it. Not even now. She could have had almost any of the men in Seattle but she had to ruin my life? Even still. I should have gone to Bella, should have told her what happened. What I had done. At least maybe there was a chance she would have stayed. Maybe she could have forgiven me.
Tanya had only come to me twice after that and the baby was never suppose to happen. I had been careful. Had worn a condom both times and she assured me she was on the pill. When she confronted me at Alice's show, I hadn't know what to do. Seth had heard it all and was pissed at me. But he got me out of there fast.
Alice had known what was going on, I had told her what happened, so she understood me leaving and covered for me. I was lost. I didn't know what to do. I had always thought that when I had my first child it would be with my Bella. It was a harsh reality to find out that wouldn't be so. I couldn't blame Tanya completely though. She may have pushed me into doing it. But I was the one that ruined out marriage.
So here it is. Longer than I thought it'd be. If you're reading this and haven't read The Right Fish. You should go read it. It's all Bella's point of view and it'll be updated more often than this, and if you're reading this after The Right Fish than I hope you guys liked it! Thanks for reading.