The horrors of Matsumoto bored
Author's note: I'm back with the sequel to: "An unexpected visit." Though it doesn't seem to be too much of a sequel, I'm practically just throwing ideas together and linking the two, so I hope you'll enjoy this one too. Read the previous story to understand some parts here please!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, if I do, I'd be so rich right now, I can buy Soul Society.
Matsumoto was bored.
It was simply said, that she was lying on the couch, playing with a lock of her orange hair while Hitsugaya tried to finish all the work he failed to complete the other day while Yachiru caused chaos. It's strange to say why the lieutenant WAS bored in the first place with all that paperwork, but of course, Hitsugaya found it too frustrating to lose time while arguing with Matsumoto, so he had decided to save time and do all the work himself.
But a bored Matsumoto was not a happy Matsumoto. That was for sure. She didn't dare mention being bored either with the fear of her captain assigning her the dreaded paperwork. Why wasn't he assigning her paperwork right about now huh? She thought to herself, but better not ask.
Still, the boredom was KILLING her. Her mind raced with something good to do, and then it hit her. Like the sake bottle lying on the desk there, it made her smile. Another party? Oh yeah… As she stepped to leave, Hitsugaya stopped her.
"Where are you going now Matsumoto?" He asked, his voice dripping with an icy tone that made Matsumoto shiver.
"Oh, nothing… Just paying some visits. You know, around Seireitei?" Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing the answer. But knew better than to argue, for the orange-haired lieutenant was already out the door.
First, Invitations
She already had the hell butterflys and was smiling as if she was deciding to cause chaos herself, despite what had just happened the previous day. Not after long, she was done.
To All
You are hereby officially invited to a drinking party at the 3rd division at 9 PM sharp!
-Matsumoto Rangiku
As you can see, Matsumoto wasn't too good with these things. But at least she got the point across. Whistling lightly, she let all of them go at once. There was one thing she missed though…
The captains would be 10 in total, and there would be 12 lieutenants excluding her. She also excused her own captain as for he wouldn't go anyways. So…why were there 22 hell butterflies in the air?
Second, location
Matsumoto stopped at the 3rd division, not even thinking to knock, she opened the unlocked door to see Kira who was still sleeping in the midst of a mess. Her jaw dropped. "Kira! You didn't! What I think you did! Oh god…please tell me you…" Matsumoto shouted, groaning inwardly.
Izuru Kira fought back a moan. "Sorry Matsu-chan… I guess me and Hisagi couldn't take it…couldn't take another minute without sake…" Matsumoto frowned.
"Now look at this messy place! How can I hold a drinking party tonight now???" That caught Kira's attention.
"D-Drinking party?" He hiccupped.
"Hai." Matsumoto replied, smiling.
"You already sent the invites didn't you." It wasn't even a question.
Matsumoto nodded to that as well. Then raised an eyebrow in pure confusion.
"Wait, didn't you get a hell butterfly as well?" And then she saw. The black winged insect crushed within empty bottles of sake, struggling to set its wings free.
"I see…I guess it can't be held here after all."
Kira only nodded, and hiccupped again.
"Why today?" Matsumoto groaned, sitting down.
"You could always try Hisagi's." Kira suggested, but there were no sign of hope in his voice and Matsumoto knew it.
"Please. The 9th is terrible and you know it. He hardly cleans it up in a month! Not since Tousen left anyways."
Kira couldn't help but agree.
"What about your division? After all, you're holding the party." It was a reasonable suggestion. No, it was a natural suggestion.
Matsumoto still remembered her captain's warning in the back of her head. But she was already in a load of crap as it is. And she REALLY didn't want to clean up the mess at the 3rd. And that devious smile crept up to her face.
"I guess the 10th it is." And hell butterflies fluttered.
Guess she forgot that she'd have to clean up a hell of a mess at the 10th along with an angry captain after her head.
Third, Preparations
Matsumoto never had trouble ordering sake. She usually bought too much rather than too little, for hers', Kira's and Hisagi's little hangovers were more than enough to consume the rest of the liquor. And with her strength, it was no problem carrying it all.
She didn't bother to decorate the place, for that little time her taichou went for a walk wouldn't be enough anyways, much less for him to discover the event and end it before it even started. So she hid the bottles behind the couch, as always, and went off to get Kira and Hisagi. They were her partners in crime, and boy, did she need to pull off a crime right now.
Operation: Distract Taichou, begin!
Take one!
"Kira? Hisagi? I need you to help me with something…"
It was near 8, and Hitsugaya was still, doing the paperwork. He had managed to finish the paperwork from yesterday but a strong pile still laid on his desk.
"It's going to be difficult, perhaps life threatening to try to get my taichou away from his precious paperwork, but I'm sure you two can do it." Kira and Hisagi nodded.
"But wait, what are YOU going to do?" Hisagi asked.
"I'll have to keep watch to delay everyone from walking in on the plan. So be as quick as possible." "Hai!"
And it began.
A simple knock started it off. And of course, Hitsugaya was taking his sweet sweet time getting to the door, since the Yachiru incident of course, he was sure to ask who it was. And he didn't fail to this time. "Who is it?"
Matsumoto winced. He was going to ruin their plan from the beginning?
"I-It's Kira-chan! L-et me in already!" Hitsugaya opened the door in a flash, to see Kira in a drunken state, pretended of course, but Hitsugaya apparently, didn't know of such a thing.
"Kira-chan?" Hitsugaya was dumbfolded.
"Hai…Come on! We're late for the Dance competition!" And Kira dragged the smaller captain by the wrist as he fell out of his office. Matsumoto couldn't help but snigger and admire the scene unfolding before her. Kira was a great actor she must admit, if she wasn't in on this, she would've definitely have been thinking the same thing her taichou was probably thinking about right now.
What the hell is going on? He…He's drunk!
"Kira…You're drunk! Here! Let me take you to the 4th…" By the look of things, the prodigy was panicking. Badly too. Matsumoto wanted one of those cameras so badly now…
"what are you yelling about partner? Come on! Let's woo them all with our extra special moves ne?" and Hitsugaya's expression went pale.
"There's so such thing as a dance competition in Soul Society." He said, trying to sound calm, apparently, he failed at that.
"Stop it! Stop lying to me!" Kira pouted like a little child. Apparently he would've made millions in the real world as an actor. And he dragged Hitsugaya easily, casually swinging the boy around. YES! Matsumoto silently screamed, before she remembered she was supposed to be on watch, and her eyes widened in surprise before Hisagi contacted her.
"Mission status?" He asked.
Matsumoto glanced at Kira and Hitsugaya, who were now dizzily spinning towards the opposite direction. Kira, you're a lifesaver. She told herself before sighing. "Success, real them in." And that's exactly what he did.
Mission: Successful
Kira was acting drunk on the outside but feeling bad on the inside. It wasn't that he didn't want to put his talents to use, it was that… well, he felt rather humiliated, and left out of the party. But there wouldn't be a party if it weren't for him. Besides…they could always arrange for another party later, and Hisagi would be the one to do the dirty work. And that thought made Kira smile faintly inside before crazily dancing and dragging the shorter captain along. "Kira!"
It was approaching 9, and Matsumoto couldn't help but praise herself on a job well done. She actually tricked her captain! Wait, no, that was Kira, but she came up with the brilliant idea and that, she was very proud of. However…The office was still a big mess and she couldn't stall them off much longer. Hisagi, you're going to come in handy right about…now.
Operation: Keep Shinigami out
Begin!
Hisagi arrived rather quick and stopped the mob of vice-captain and above levelled shinigami.
"What's the meaning of this Hisagi? Ain't the drinking party up ahead?" Kyouraku-taichou asked, Nanao following behind him, who adjusted her glasses to hide her shame of coming along.
Yamamoto-taichou looked rather amused at the scene. "Let us in Hisasgi-fukutaichou please. I'm been waiting for a good drink or so."
"Not feeling in the mood huh Hisagi?" Kenpachi said, eyes narrowed.
"Er, you all can't enter right now." Hisagi bravely spoke up. Matsumoto you idiot, hurry up! Make a big entrance or something, I don't even have a proper fake excuse!
"Why's that?" Renji spoke up, looking dangerous.
"Because, er…" He was at a loss for words, glancing barely back at Matsumoto who was setting up the place in lightning speed.
At this rate, only 2 minutes will do the trick… but how can you stall all of them in two minutes?
And Hisagi thought.
And thought.
And thought.
But couldn't come up with anything in front of a crowd of impatient shinigami that could probably take him out in a second. Then he realized lying will get him nowhere. No good scenario, nor anything to fake up with.
He'd have to live with the truth.
"I'm sorry to say this, but the preparations are not quite…" "DONE!"
Matsumoto practically jumped out of the office, giving Hisagi a wink at that. The other lieutenant could feel himself sighing briefly before thinking. Matsumoto, you baka…
"Let's all go in now shall we?" But she was a damn good actress.
Meanwhile, let's see what Hitsugaya's going through…
"KIRA!" The heavenly guardian shouted as he struggled to get out of Kira's grasp but apparently the supposingly drunk lieutenant put in more strength than he bargained. Of course, Hitsugaya could break out of it easily, but hell, there were rules about fighting and using reiatsu when it was not necessary, and against one of lower status, while drunk? Hitsugaya didn't want to think of the consequences.
"What is it partner?" And Hitsugaya winced. They were now around the 4th, but the place seemed almost empty. What's going on? The 4th is usually the quietest, but I didn't expect this..It was like everyone was ghosts. Then his ears picked something up.
"I can't believe Unohana-taichou's going to the drinking party!" Drinking party?
"I know. I don't blame Isane-fukutaichou for being worried and going along. Matsumoto-fukutaichou took it too far this time. And at the 10th too after what happened yesterday…" M-Matsumoto? And his expression changed drastically.
"KIRA! We're leaving!" And with a strong pull, it was now Hitsugaya who was leading. Flash-stepping as fast as he possibly could to the 10th. Oh no…Kira thought, unable to follow up with his strength. We're dead.
At the 10th
"Drink up, drink up all!" Matsumoto said, toasting to the crowd of shinigami. Hinamori, Nanao, Nemu, Komamura, and Byakuya were on the sidelines, watching as everyone went crazy.
"Unohana-taichou, I suggest you don't take too much…"Isane argued but it was like her captain was already long gone.
"It's alright Isane, I'm…" And she fainted.
"Unohana-taichou!" Being the captain of the medical squad, she was probably lucky her vice-captain was there to support her as it is. Matsumoto was already finished her first, as she reached for another. The clock was pointing to 3.
Kyoraku-taichou was gulping down bottles at a time, causing Nanao to look slightly nauseous. "You sure you don't want some Nanao-chan?" He asked, not sounding drunk in the slightest. The woman shook her head and looked away.
And suddenly, Hisagi dragged Matsumoto to the side.
"What is it Hisagi? Isn't everything perfect?"
"NO! Hitsugaya-taichou accidentally overheard some 4th division people and is now coming back! And Kira said he looked extremely angry, like you've broken a rule or something!" Matsumoto looked shocked, and then nervous, and then scared for her life.
"You don't mean… he didn't ALLOW it??" Matsumoto couldn't help but laugh a bit.
"I guess not… strange huh?"
Hisagi groaned.
"Just great. Just great…"
Suddenly, the door burst open. Matsumoto turned around in fear. No..not now. I don't want to die! She shouted inside, and opened her eyes.
"Where's snowy-chan?"
Matsumoto froze. 22 hell butterflies…she remembered that. If she didn't invite her taichou…oh no…did she?
Kusajishi Yachiru was at the door, looking proud as she arrived. "Where's snowy?" She repeated, louder this time.
"Hitsugaya-taichou?"
"Yea. Where is he anyways?"
"Shouldn't he be at least invited to his own party?"
Just then, Yachiru caught the hint. Running around madly at the place where everyone gathered, she shouted loudly.
"SNOWY'S NOT HERE?"
In somewhat anger and frustration, she grabbed the sake bottle out of Kenpachi's hand and threw it at Renji. Apparently, it was the wrong person for such an action.
"Why you…" And he threw it right back at her.
Into her mouth.
Despite her small size, her mouth was quite big, and everyone watched as the liquid slowly disappeared into the young girl's body. And then…
She popped the bottle out.
And she laughed.
Everyone looked relieved, as if the girl was carrying some kind of disease.
"Why's everyone staring Bya-chan?" She asked, tugging on the 6th division captain's robes. Byakuya didn't stir.
But it was bad timing nonetheless.
Hitsugaya had stepped into the building, with a half looking shaken Kira dragged desperately behind him, looking apologizing.
"Matsumoto…" He began slowly, and the orange-haired lieutenant gulped. Everything was silent until Yachiru popped up suddenly, her eyes blurring and looking much more hyper than before.
"SNOWY!" She launched herself onto the slightly taller captain, but Hitsugaya must've seen it coming, slamming a fist into her, knocking her onto the sides.
"Taichou! You didn't have to be so cruel!" Matsumoto said, looking displeased.
"It's just a sealing kidou. But anyways, why do you have so many shinigami here? And why is that sake bottle in your hand? Where's the paperwork?" He questioned, his tone getting louder and louder by the second, forcing Matsumoto to step back a bit.
"Kira?" Yamamoto-taichou looked at the stressed out lieutenant behind the genius, who gave a low wave before passing out.
"Matsumoto, you're going to get this..."
And every shinigami decided to leave right there, with Isane literally teleporting her taichou and herself home. Everyone, but Yachiru, who had regained consciousness and broke the kidou due to lack of concentration from Hitsugaya.
"Snowy!" She seemed to be unaffected by the alcohol, looking better and more pleased by the second.
"I don't think a sealing spell's necessary. I'll come back and deal with you in a second Matsumoto, and if you even THINK about escaping…"
Matsumoto too didn't want to find out so she simply nodded out of fright.
However, she's had more fun than ever in a long time, and she didn't regret a thing. Besides, her taichou always let her off easy before.
It wasn't long before Hitsugaya returned to the messed up place of theirs, Yachiru no longer by his side. "What did you do to her?" Hitsugaya smiled smugly.
"You have other things to worry about…" Matsumoto paled.
Outside, Yachiru was bound and gagged using rope and cloth, upon a tree branch, her eyes still beaming and happy, apparently, the alcohol wasn't going to let her current state bother her as the young girl continued to laugh through the cloth that was covering her mouth. And she didn't recover from the sake until a week later.
Omake
"What was that meeting about taichou?"
"It was just to inform us that Kurosaki Ichigo's marrying that girl Inoue here."
"Really?" Matsumoto looked surprised and rather happy.
"No. It was to inform us that unauthorized drinking parties are now hereby banned."
"You're kidding right taichou?"
"No. No I'm not."
Matsumoto fainted.
Owari
R & R please! Hope you enjoyed it!