Alright, finally another installment of the A Dab of Frost/A Cup of Stars universe. This one's based in A Dab of Frost, right after Pitch attacked them for the first time, so they're still at the Pole letting Jack heal up.

Someone brought to my attention that. after all this time, we never got into why Taylor actually used to cut in the first place. And so, thanks to her, we get to go into something I honestly should've done almost a year ago when this story/series first started.

So thank fairybabe202 for this one and likely more to come. This is a good sign that I might be able to get back into this series again.

To those that do actually read my stuff, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. After the last update of A Cup of Stars, I suddenly lost my motivation and ideas for the story, putting both it and my other oneshots on hold (yes, I have 2 other oneshots in the work right now). But as soon as I started getting some ideas back... Some things happened.

My cousin died early August, a drug overdose and just a few days away from his next birthday. When i heard about it, I couldn't write anymore, my mind just drew a constant blank unless it had to do with venting about him. I haven't been able to write anything in months, aside from this and a KH fic i started recently. I miss him... I wish I hadn't been left in the dark about his problem, at the funeral I found out that everyone else knew but me. i hate it

Anyway...enough about me and my lack of sleep due to tragedy, on with the oneshot

Oneshot: ROtG: A Dab of Frost/ A Cup of Stars

Let Me In

I'm not sure what happened, but I wish it never did.

Here I am, no longer injured and bedridden like I remember, but standing up all on my own in complete darkness. But that was the last thing I was worried about. My main priority was…

What was lying on the ground in a bloody heap.

The first thing to catch my eye was that familiar dark hair, somehow still shining even in this darkness. That sweater, those boots…

"Tay…?" My eyes widened in fear and I took a step forward, realizing I didn't have my Frost Staff with me either. That couldn't be her, could it?

I drop to my knees beside the body and I feel my pants soak up some of the blood on the ground. I reach a hand to her shoulder, she's cold… And not my kind of cold. I shut my eyes tight and flipped the body over. I opened them again after I heard the plop of something landing in the blood.

A part of me wishes I'd just walked away, but the other part is ashamed of its former.

"Tay… Taylor?" Her eyes are closed and I feared the worst. "Hey… Come on, you're okay. Quit kidding around." I muttered shakily, a scared smile on my features. She didn't respond.

My hands were shaking already as I lifted her up with them, on hand on her head and the other going across her back, gripping her arm tightly. I couldn't tell where the blood was coming from. Her leg? Her neck? Her stomach? Wait…

Her wrists.

I tore my eyes away from her pale face to inspect her arm. Sure enough, blood was still steadily flowing to the ground, staining her clothes along the way. I heard myself gasp and let go of her arm.

"Tay… Why? You should've talked to me…," I let out a strangled cry and pulled her body close to mine, she didn't even flinch. "You said you would… You promised me!"

It was too late for the story or the explanation.

Because Taylor was dead.

"No!" I shouted, springing up from the bed. Though I immediately regretted doing so at the now familiar feeling of my wound from Pitch reopening painfully as I breathed so heavily it was almost difficult to take it in.

"Jack?" I flinched at the feeling of a hand on my arm and turned to its owner.

"Tay...?" I breathed, there she was- standing just a foot away from me with a damp cloth in her hand. Though she was smiling, I could see in her eyes that she was afraid. She looked as exhausted as I felt; after all, who knows how long she's been awake. I wished she woke me up when she did, maybe then i wouldn't have seen what I did.

"Are you okay? What happened?" She asked, sitting beside me on the bed. I couldn't control myself, as I was still in the shocked state at seeing her unharmed, and I held her in a tight embrace. She gasped.

"J-Jack? What's the matter?" She stutters before steadily returning the gesture. I can feel my hands shaking on her clothes.

"You're okay... You're alive," My eyes are shut tight, and I'm barely even understanding what I'm saying. But who cares? She okay now! "Tay, you were... I-I thought-"

"Thought what?" She asked, pulling away just enough to see my face. I averted my eyes. "Jack, tell me."

I bit my lip, feeling my hands steady a bit more. I shouldn't tell her what I saw- what she did. If anything, there's a chance she'd be upset with me for even thinking about it. Girls are pretty unpredictable in most cases, after all.

"Tay, um... When Pitch attacked us, uh...," She visibly flinched at the mere mention of his name and I sighed. A part of me wishes I could just take back my words, but it was too late now. Besides, I had to know. "Tell me everything."

She looks taken aback for a moment, then she raised a brow at me. "What're you talking about?" I'm not afraid anymore. I want my answers.

"He said you'd spilled your own blood before... I can't forget something like that. Tay," She paled at my words and I took her hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. "You were going to tell me what he meant. I could see it in your eyes- so tell me. Please."

She looked hesitant, like this was literally the last thing she wanted to talk about. I couldn't blame her, but still.

"Jack..." She trailed off and lowered her head. I moved my other hand under the one of hers I had already caught and clasped my own together, trapping it.

"Tay, please. All I really want is to help, you know that, right?" She nodded silently and bit her lip. Still silence. I frowned. "Let me in. You know damn well I won't judge, Tay. Come on, talk to me." I pleaded. I could tell her wall was breaking, it had been ever since I met her.

I was going to break through that wall; I plan to shatter it like glass. Even if it killed me.

"I...," Taylor started and I was immediately giving her my full attention. She carefully slid her hand out of mine. "I started doing it a couple years ago. I never actually used knives though, I was too chicken," I couldn't tell if she was relieved or upset by that. "Instead I used towels, zippers; they never cut, but they burned. I guess... I thought it was a way out; I don't know." She sighed heavily,

"But why, Tay?" I asked carefully. I wasn't sure if I should get any closer to her, afraid she might pull away or clam up again. But she didn't.

"I was alone, okay?" Her voice had raised to almost a yell, then all went silent. You could hear a pin drop. "I was alone... I lost my best friend, the ones I had left moved on and left me behind and I couldn't talk to anyone else, so... I did the only thing I could without any help. A lot of things just kept happening and I couldn't take it anymore... My mom is never around, so she either didn't notice or just didn't ask. I could handle things on my own just fine, I mean, I'm used to being alone a lot, so it's okay... Right Jack?"

When she finally looked at me again, that look in her eyes horrified me. I wondered for a moment if I had looked like that after all my time being alone too, but I quickly shoved that thought aside.

Taylor... She looked far away, like she wanted to look at me and show she was brave, but couldn't. Her eyes shined with tears threatening to break free.

"Tay," I took her hand in mine and flipped her arm over so I could see her palm. Along with the scars on the same arm she'd shown me while she spoke. "This. This isn't handling things yourself. It's how you thought it would work out in the end- it's giving up. You're not a quitter, you and I both know that." I said firmly, only pausing when I heard her sniff.

Damn, she's crying again. I lowered my eyes and pulled her close to me again, hugging her so tight my wound was acting up again. I didn't even care though.

"You're not alone anymore, okay?" The shoulder of my hoodie was warm with tears now, but she still nodded nonetheless. I pulled away till she was at arm's length.

"J-Jack, I-I'm sorry...," She sobbed, attempting to wipe her tears away with her fists. "I... God, I-I shouldn't b-be getting all choked up, all this has a-already happened..." She sniffed, I almost smiled. Only Taylor wouldn't even know why she was crying.

I rose my hand from her arm to her chin, lifting her face up to mine. She moved her hands away as well. "Just promise me you won't do it again. Alright?" She paused and then nodded silently. It wasn't enough. "I want you to say it, Tay."

She swallowed. "I-I promise." She stuttered, smiling a little when I did as well.

"Good." My hand went up to her cheek as the other pulled her a little closer. I leaned in and kissed her deeply, after a moment she returned the gesture, resting a hand delicately on my chest, the other on my shoulder.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, but after a while she pulled away to breathe. While a part of me wanted to continue, the other was glad I could breathe as well. I leaned back on the bed frame, pulling her along with me and I sighed.

"You should've woken me up, you know." I groaned and she looked at me.

"Sorry," She muttered. "I thought you could use the rest though." She said and I made a noise that actually made her laugh a little.

"Please, rest? Foreign concept!" I scoff loudly and she choked back another laugh.

"Only you could change the topic so quickly with some stupid statement like that." She said and I smirked.

"What? Too much?" I ask teasingly. She merely shook her head and smiled. A real smile.

"Nah, I love that about you," She said simply and I couldn't help but smile. "Even though it drives me crazy sometimes." I chuckled.

"And where are we without a little crazy?"

Alright, so yes? No? Lemme know if it was good or not ok?

What was also brought to my attention by fairybabe202 was the idea of a rewrite of A dab of Frost, maybe even A Cup of Stars.

Some things could be fixed if you tell me what should be done. Some things i know were complete dog shit, but if something you didn't like or wanted more of could be done, let me know.

Of course, a rewrite is also not confirmed, so keep that in mind.

REVIEW BEFORE FAVING PLEASE

thank you. and if you liked this without having read A Dab of Frost or A Cup of Stars, go read those if you like, or even the other oneshots. Though I will say its wise to read the main stories first as some oneshots might provide spoilers for you.

I also have a songfic for this on my deviantart if you want to check that out. It's based on OneRepublic's If I Lose Myself.

Ok I'm done. By for now