I own nothin to do with Holby City. Please don't sue. I'm just playing!
Maddy sat on the sofa nestled in her duvet, a Christmas film on the television and a glass of wine in her hand. Christmas lights lit up the room, filling it with a range of festive colours which reflected off every surface giving the whole flat a Christmassy feel. The Christmas tree sat in the corner adorned with ornaments and baubles and a few presents lay underneath that Maddys friends and colleagues had given her in the run up to the Christmas period. No matter how festive the room looked though and no matter how much she tried to fill herself with the festive spirit that used to come so easily to her she didn't feel festive at all. Not this year. She would be alone at Christmas once again. Sunny was gone, Dan was gone...she was alone and no matter how much she tried to be grateful for those friends who had given her gifts, part of her still felt so lonely and it felt like her heart could actually break sometimes when she saw the couples out and about with their little children buying things for their Christmas dinners and last minute gifts and all she could think of was how she'd be sat at home all alone.
Christmas used to be a time for partying to Maddy. It didn't bother her that she didn't have a partner or children. She had a job she loved, friends she loved and when she wasn't working she was out having a good time. Christmas especially meant fun and frolics out with her friends, it wasn't about the family she had distanced herself so much from or a partner, it was about having a good time. As time went on though and as Maddy sat there on Christmas Eve night all she could think of was that maybe she had been doing all of that to avoid doing what everybody else did as they got older. Maybe she was avoiding the settling down and having children, depriving herself of something that she'd always wanted but always pushed away for fear that her own family would turn out like the one she'd been born into. Maybe Christmas wasn't just about going out, partying and getting drunk after all. As time went on she wanted it to be about a whole lot more.
A tear ran down her cheek as she watched the movie and took a sip of the wine. She didn't know why she subjected herself to such sentimental films at a time of year where she truly felt what it was like to be lonely. It was tradition though she supposed, to watch Love Actually and It's A Wonderful Life, to emmerse yourself in fictional families when you don't really have one of your own.
Sighing Maddy pushed the duvet off her and walked over to the window, pulling back the curtain to see snowflakes falling from the nights sky. She smiled as she saw a group of children out carolling with their parents, hopping around under the snowy sky as the white flakes fell on and around them, their little faces glowing with delight.
"Please, Santa, God, anyone who's listening...I work really hard every year to save lives...to help people. Please, don't you think I deserve to have that?" She asked no-one in particular as she watched the happy family and thought of her niece Sunny who had passed away earlier in the year. She had loved that little girl to bits.
Shivering as the cold hit her she padded back to the sofa and wrapped herself back up in the duvet, snuggling up as she continued to watch the movie. Just as she'd got comfortable the door buzzer went.
Muttering under her breath in disgust that anyone would interrupt such comfort, with the duvet still around her Maddy carefully made her way to the intercom, though not without a few incidents of getting her foot caught in the bottom of it which resulted in a lot of tripping up and profanity.
"Hello?" she called softly and a little breathlessly as she reached the mouthpiece.
There was no reply.
"Is anyone there?" She called again frowning. She really wasn't in the mood for anyone to be playing games with her tonight.
This time her voice was met by the faintest jingling of bells.
"Who is this? Sam is it you?" She called again.
The bells jingled again and deciding it was probably Sam playing tricks on her Maddy buzzed whoever it was up and opened her door. She stood waiting for about ten minutes with her hands on her hips in frustration but nobody came. There wasn't any sign of anyone coming at all, no footsteps, no noise, not anything. Everything was deathly silent.
"What is going on?" She muttered a little angrily under her breath, closing the door again. There was deffinately going to be payback when she went back to work.
Maddy made her way over to the sofa again but just as she got there she heard a gentle knock on the door. She put the duvet down on the sofa this time, not wanting to wound herself anymore than she had nearly done earlier and walked back over to the source of the nights frustration.
"Hello?" She called softly.
She heard the bells jingling again.
"Enough with the bells. Who is this? You are making me one annoyed doctor and that's really not a good thing to do tonight of all nights!"
Still no reply.
For a minute Maddy stood there, unsure as to what to do. It could be anyone behind that door. What if she were to open it and there was someone there wanting to attack her. What if it was all some sort of ploy to get her out of the flat so some murderous person could jump out and really ruin her Christmas?
"I'll call the Police I swear." Maddy called out but there was still nothing. No reply. No noise. Not even the bells.
Curiosity overcame her and Maddy opened the door a crack. She looked outside and was met with the sight of the biggest gift box she had ever seen. Becoming even more curious she fully opened the door and walked around the box, studying it carefully. She eventually found a gift tag.
'Dear Maddy. I'm hoping this will bring you some Christmas joy. S."
"S. This has to be something to do with Sam."
"Think again." Came a familiar voice.
Maddy looked around her but there was no-one there. Then she looked down at the box. Did the voice come from inside it?
"Would you hurry up? It may look big but this box is really uncomfortable."
Maddy recognised that voice in an instant. She tore the lid off the box and was met with a sight that brought tears to her eyes. Inside the box was Dan Clifford, in a santa hat, with a stocking full of presents at his feet.
"Merry Christmas Mads." He whispered sofly as he stood up in front of her, cupping her chin with his fingers and kissing her softly.
"Don't you need mistletoe for that?" Maddy asked him tearfully as he pulled away slowly.
Dan smiled and leant in to kiss her again but she gently pushed him away.
"Please don't do this...if you're going to go back to her. It'd break my heart." she told him honestly.
He cupped both of her cheeks with the palms of his hands and kissed her again. As he pulled away he whispered softly into her ear.
"It was you Mads. All along. I left because I didn't want to hurt the thing I held most precious but I think...by leaving...I hurt both of us more than I ever could by screwing us up."
Tears rolled down Maddys cheeks as she studied the man in front of her, in his winter coat and scarf and that stupid santa hat almost pulled over his eyes.
"But Louise..." Maddy whispered, unable to look him in the eyes.
"I've left Louise. I should never have gone with her. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I'm back Mads, for you...for the hospital...I'm home." He reassured her, brushing a piece of hair off her tear stained cheek.
"And you decided to make this big gesture at Christmas?"
"I figured you might need a bit of Christmas spirit. I've been lonely without you. I thought you might be too."
"You left me. Who says I've even forgiven you? You went with her. You called me to meet you and then didn't turn up Dan. You put me through hell and now you expect to just turn up here at Christmas and for everything to be okay again just because the holidays have made you feel lonely?"
"Mads..."
Feeling suddenly very angry at the man in front of her who still held all of her heart Maddy walked away from him, the gift box, and back into her flat slamming the door behind her. She leaned against the door and let herself slide down to her knees as tears overcame her.
Merry Christmas she thought to herself as she cried.
She didnt know how long she sat there crying but she was stirred from her thoughts by a gentle knocking. Wiping her eyes she opened the door to see Dan sitting cross legged in his box with the saddest look on his face.
"If I only had a camera right now." She told him, not being able to help smiling at the picture in front of her.
He looked up at her with sad eyes.
"I am sorry Mads. I'm so sorry. The perfect person was right in front of me all the time but I was so afraid of hurting her that I ran away..."
"With someone else." Maddy added. "Your sister in law Dan! You hurt a lot of people. You broke my heart."
"And now I'm trying to fix that." He told her, hoping with all of his heart that she'd believe him.
"By turning up in a Santa hat with a gigantic cardboard box?" Maddy teased.
"A giftbox Maddy and no, this was already here when I arrived. Quite handy really..." Dan mused.
"Whatever Dan, this wasn't here when I came home or when you rang the buzzer and shook those silly bells."
"The buildings door was already open when I got here. This box was outside your door when I came up...and what bells? I don't have any bells."
"But I looked outside after the buzzer went and this box wasn't even here. You had to have brought this box. It couldn't have materialised out of thin air and you have to have rung those bells. Who else could have? Why would someone leave an empty and somewhat gigantic Christmas giftbox outside someones door, press my buzzer and shake some festive bells over the intercom while you were arriving...why?"
"I don't know. I can't possibly begin to answer. I was going to pose as a carol singer but then I found this and...it added to the whole Christmassy grand gesture mood didn't it?"
Maddy smiled at the man standing in front of her but still couldnt help but feel a bit overwhelmed and not to mention confused about it all.
"The card says this is from S. Are you in this with Sam? has he been helping you worm your way back into my good books?" Maddy then asked, Sam being the only person she could think of who might play some part in this.
"I'm sure if Sam knew I was here he'd swing for me considering how I left you, besides I'm hardly worming, I come bearing gifts that I bought you out of the goodness of my heart." He told her gesturing to the stocking.
"Hey, maybe this is from Santa. Maybe I'm your Christmas present. Maybe he knew I was coming and decided to help me along because I'm meant to be the bringer of your future happiness." Dan then joked.
Maddy shook her head. As if that could ever happen.
"If this was a Christmas movie then maybe but this is real life...and my life. Things like that don't happen, especially not to me."
Dan felt his heart break a little when he heard that coming out of such a beautiful and happy young womans mouth. She should be so hopeful but instead she was broken and he knew that was partly down to him.
"Maybe it's time they start to." Dan told her quietly. He climbed out of the box and stood in front of her taking her into his arms.
"I love you Madeline Young. The greatest present anyone could give me for Christmas is you...us...together. I know it'll take time, I know I made a mistake. I know that I may not be the right man for you but please...give me the chance to screw us up. Lets not always wonder what if."
"Dan, you know what I've realised? I want to settle down. I want kids. I want the house with the dog and a husband. I don't want one night stands anymore or a relationship where I'm going to get hurt."
"And I promise I don't want to hurt you. Not like I did when I left with Louise. Never again." He told her sincerely. "I want the curly haired babies too you know, and a beautiful wife with those beautiful brown eyes." he added with a smile as he ran his fingers through her hair.
Maddy looked into those deep brown eyes and saw sincerity. She ran her fingertips down his cheek.
"When did you leave her?" Maddy then asked softly.
"Two months ago. I didn't come before now because I wanted to be sure. I wanted to do something special to show you that it's you that I want and I needed time to work it all out."
"And this was the best you could come up with?" Maddy teased, a little tearfully.
"With a little help from my mysterious assistant." Dan replied.
He leant down and picked up the stocking. He handed it to Maddy.
"I got you something to represent everything I want with you...to show you how serious I am. Each present means something for us. You can open them now if you want but you need to save the one at the bottom until the morning."
Maddy rifled through the stocking and saw each present neatly wrapped and adorned with ribbons and a bow. One in particular stood out. It was in a purple glittery gift box.
"That's the one to open tommorow morning. It's your special gift. The one that means the most."
Maddy took Dans hand in her own and gave it a squeeze.
"I think I need to open these alone...would you mind...?"
"The box is fine." Dan grinned climbing inside again. "I'll wait just here. I'm quite attached to it now."
Maddy leaned over the side of the box and kissed Dan on the forehead.
"Thank you." She whispered into his ear before once again entering her flat and closing the door behind her.
She lowered herself on to the floor by the door and sat cross legged studying the packages in the stocking. She gently tipped them onto the floor running her fingers over the shiny paper and playing with the ribbons. While studying them to see if she could figure out what was inside before she opened them she noticed each had a numbered gift tag.
Deciding that number one was a good place to start Maddy tore the wrapping paper off the present. She opened it to reveal a little while cardboard box. Frowning Maddy opened it and pulled out a beautiful replica of a country cottage, so beautiful and detailed and surrounded by snow. A little piece of paper fluttered onto the carpet as she turned it around in her fingers to look at it more closely.
'This is to represent the house I want us to share with our children'
Maddys heart skipped a beat as she read the message written in the handwriting of the man that she loved. She placed the ornanment carefully on the floor and then picked up present number two.
Maddy tore the paper off the somewhat soft present to reveal a beautiful cuddly labrador teddy.
'This is to represent the dog that you always wanted for us and wanted to call Ditzy, a dog that I would love us to have because I know it means so much to you'
Maddy cuddled the dog close to her as a tear rolled down her cheek. She sat it on her lap as she unwrapped present number three. Inside a beautifully wrapped gift box was an equally beautiful set of lingerie.
'Here's hoping that this'
Maddy frowned as she read the message. She was more than a little confused by it. She hoped unwrapping the last present that she was allowed to unwrap this Christmas Eve night would shed some light on it. She tore the wrapping paper of the last present as carefully as she could and gasped when inside she found two baby gros, one pink with 'as cute as my mummy' written on it and one blue with 'as handsome as my daddy'
'...leads to one of each of these. Ben and Katy. What do you think? D xxx'
Maddy held the babygro's close to her and let a little sob escape her. They were so tiny.
Knowing in her heart what she wanted Maddy picked up each present and carefully placed them on the sofa. She then picked up the little purple gift box and placed it under the Christmas tree ready to be opened in the morning. She made her way to the door, picking up the little pink baby gro on her way, and then went outisde the flat to see Dan sitting cross legged but fidgety in the mysterious box.
"Do you really want this...with me...no-one else?" She asked him a little tearfully.
Dan looked at the baby gro in her hand. He got up and climbed out of the box. He walked over to her and took her in his arms, holding her tightly.
"Just with you. Only you. I really do. I promise you Mads. Ben and Katy. Thats what we always said isnt it"
"You remembered." Maddy whispered remembering a conversation a long time ago that they'd had about what they would call their children if they ever were to have them.
"Of course I remembered"
"But you left. How could you mean this? All of this...when you left me like that"
"I love you. I love you so much. I love all of the things that I want for us. It's all I want. You are what I want. You, Ben, Katy and Ditzy. How about it? Are you going to give this old man another chance? Are you going to give this a chance to happen?" He asked her nervously as he motioned to the babygro.
Maddy cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand and with the other rested the babygro against his heart. She then kissed him. A kiss filled with all of the love that she held in her heart for the man that stood in front of her, no matter what he'd done.
"I wont hurt you again." He whispered into her hair as he slowly pulled away from her, stroking her soft cheeks.
"You better not or Sam really will swing for you." Maddy joked. "Lets get inside hey. You've spent most of the night in your box in the hall." Maddy commented, taking his hand in her own and leading him inside.
"I swear its not my box." He told her laughing as they entered the flat which was filled with the soft glow of the sparkling Christmas lights.
As Maddy closed the door and the twinkling of the Christmas lights made shadows dance on Dans gentle looking face she was overcome with so many couldn't believe all that had happened that night. She couldn't believe that he was standing there in front of her, still in that stupid santa hat, but still as handsome as always, having told her he wanted marriage, a house and for them to have babies together. He really was hers after all this time...after everything.
For a minute both just stood there, silently taking in the other under the twinkling lights that filled the room with such romance.
"I love you. Just so you know...because I haven't said it yet tonight"
Maddy was interrupted by gentle hands on her hips and Dans soft lips on her own. Succumbing to the kiss and to her heart Maddy led Dan into her bedroom where they cemented everything that had been said that night.
As the clock struck midnight Maddy lay in Dans arms, her head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart.
"Merry Christmas my Mads." Dan whispered kissing her forehead and then her nose.
Maddy looked at the clock and smiled.
"Merry Christmas." She replied kissing his chest and then smiling at him, a smile that made his heart skip a beat.
"Why don't you open your other present now? It is Christmas morning after all." He asked her, sitting up in bed and kissing her bare shoulder.
Maddy grinned and quickly padded over to the Christmas tree. She picked up the little box and then quickly padded back into the bedroom and wrapped herself up in the duvet next to Dan who immediately put an arm around her as she shivered with cold.
She looked at him once more to check it was okay and when he nodded she opened the gift box to reveal another little box inside. Opening it she gasped when she saw inside a diamond ring.
"Dan"
"I know it's too early now but I wanted you to have it so you can put it on when you're ready. Whenever you're ready Mads I want you to be my wife."
Tears streamed down Maddys cheeks as she looked at the beautiful diamond engagement ring.
"It's so beautiful. I love it. We can't yet. I'd love to but...soon...when I know things are okay and that you mean it...of course I'll wear it. Then I'll be your wife." she told him honestly.
Dan beamed and kissed her again.
"What a night. I was so worried you'd turn me away. You had every right to"
"It was the box that did it for me. It was all very well thought our Mr Clifford. The bells...the box"
"Mads I swear that wasn't me. The door was open, I didnt need to ring the buzzer and the box...it was already there. It all helped me I'm sure, but I swear, all I brought was me and your gifts. I don't know who rang the bells or who left the box"
Maddy sat thoughtfully. He really did sound sincere. But then who?
The pair of them shot up in bed as the loud ringing of bells whooshed past the bedroom window. Maddy ran striahgt over to it and peeped outside to be confronted with a bright light shooting across the sky. Dan came up behind her.
"Did you see that?" She asked him, her mouth wide open.
"It couldn't be. The card did say it was from S..." He then mused. He shook his head at how silly it sounded. There was no way that Santa, who he hadn't believed in since he was nine years old, could have been the one helped him bring some happiness back into the life of the woman that he loved. Could there?
Both shivering with cold Maddy and Dan made their way back into Maddys bed, cuddling up and falling asleep in each others arms. It really was a night that had changed both of their lives, put a lot of ghosts to bed, and gave them a Christmas gift that neither had bargained for so soon. Baby Katy Noelle Clifford was born nine months later.
Merry Christmas :)