Hessarian's Gift

By Ryu Niiyama

Disclaimer: Don't own them...but boy it would be fun if I did...*waggles eyebrows*...if one of them didn't kill me first.

Pairing: Briala/Celene

Briala wasn't sure how long she sat in front of the fire, staring into the mask of her beloved and betrayer. Celene's passion inspired tirade made sense yet she desperately wanted to hold on to her anger. Her parents were dead because of the human woman and yet Briala knew the Game was what forced her hand. The Game forced them all, making them pawns when they would be Queens.

She hated herself. Even now Celene ruined her. The human had obviously not planned to kiss her as she did, Celene was usually a more controlled lover. Yet this outburst illuminated a perspective of the Empress that she had not expected. Celene was consumed…all of her careful mannerisms blown to dust by a mere Elvhan woman? Had she always felt this way? Did the Lioness bow to something greater than herself?

"I would find joy in my love finding her people, even as my breast aches with every heartbeat I live without you…"

Briala closed her eyes as those forbidden words washed over her. She'd believed that Celene, who had not known the pain and loss of the Elves would not understand truest love, faithful and everlasting. Yet her words, her very touch indicated otherwise. After everything as they stand at the end of the world Celene burned for an Elvhan servant as surely as Andraste had been bound to the Maker in Flame.

Briala grit her teeth and rose abruptly in search of her forbidden love. It didn't take long to find the rooms designated for the Empress and without a knock the spymaster slipped inside. She found Celene sitting in a chair in front of the fire staring into the flames, while nursing a glass of wine.

"Celene."

The Empress didn't move or acknowledge the husky whisper, though her heart and her core quivered at the sound. She knew that timbre…and with it a melancholy came upon her because it meant that in the end Briala misunderstood. When she heard Briala take a step closer, the Empress stood up still watching the flames and holding her glass.

"You, just like them think this about sex. I will admit my love, my desire for you is…overwhelming at times, but if I never touched you again, I would give my life for your trust. But now is not the time for the trust of lovers."

The words were gently spoken, almost contemplative, so Briala couldn't be faulted for jumping slightly when Celene suddenly threw her glass into flames with all the force she could muster. The Lioness turned and smiled a wan, bittersweet smile. "I wish that I had the arrogance to demand you be mine once again, but it is not your body that I miss the most. Do you remember when we were caught in that sudden downpour?"

Thrown off kilter, Briala nodded and answered quietly. "You'd taken me horseback riding for the first time."

The beautiful Empress's smile warmed in fond recollection as she remembered the carefree day as if it recently happened. "We were soaked to the bone and yet you laughed, you ran from the meager shelter we'd found and you danced in the rain. I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life." There was reverence, and joy in Celene's voice at the memory and she moved closer to the Elvhan woman as she lost herself in the reverie.

"You took me for hours when we returned to the barn." There was a heat to Briala's voice that proved that day remained with her as well, though not for the same reasons it would seem.

Celene almost but didn't quite sigh. Briala's focus on their lovemaking proved her fears to be true. In the end she would always be the human oppressor that used her Elvhan handmaiden for her body. Never because Briala brought such joy to her heart that she expressed her devotion in the only way that she could without endangering her.

The Empress wrapped her arms about herself, staving off an imaginary chill. "Always the abuser am I not? What else did I possess that I could give you? Secrets and lies, yet in that I could always be honest…but you never heard me. My feelings never truly reached you. We can't go back Briala."

The spymaster's eyes widened as she realized she said the wrong thing, had caused Celene to retreat further behind her mask. Only this time the mask was flesh; Briala realized with a start that this would set the tone. What she did this night would determine if Celene remained open with her, or if she donned a mask that could never be removed. Desperate to keep her beloved from slipping further away, Briala moved towards the human woman and grasped her biceps, too afraid to reach for her hands.

"Then let us go forward ma vhenan'ara. I killed my parents' murderer long ago."

Celene frowned at the desperate embrace, suspicious and weary. "And the Alienage?"

Briala's retort was immediate. " And the Eastern Expanse? How many human villages have burned? Do you think that was all Gaspard? If I had trusted you I would have found another way. Let us find that way now…together bien-amie."

Celene's gaze softened and what replaced the wariness of her gaze could only be described as yearning. Emboldened by the change, Briala moved even closer, slowly as if she was afraid of shattering the moment. She took the Empress' larger, yet more delicate hands into her own, and it shocked the spymaster how much she had missed such a connection with her beloved. Due to her position, she could rarely touch her Empress in a manner that was purely for comfort, in a manner that was purely for them. Having lost that entirely once they became enemies; in this moment Briala was overwhelmed. This was the woman that she had loved all her life; this was her beautiful, fragile, proud lioness.

"Celene…" Briala ducked her head and pressed her lips reverently to the Empress' slightly calloused hands.

The human took a hurried step back shaking her head in frenzied denial. Though the gesture touched her heart, seeing Briala with a bowed head only reminded her of the distance between them and what could never be. "Non. I can't…I won't. You shall be my Marquise but I can't …non." As if she had been burned, Celene snatched her hands from the Elvhan woman's grasp causing her to gasp in shock and consternation.

Briala felt the gentle calm of the moment shatter into righteous anger and she turned blazing eyes upon her human. "That is not what you want." Her tone was even but the Empress could easily hear the outrage lacing every word.

"It doesn't matter what I want!" Celene blurted, falling back into anger. Anger was good, it could give her the distance she needed when all she wanted, needed was to throw herself at Briala's feet and worship her, love her…die for her.

"It doesn't matter what you, the Empress wants?!" Briala sneered but when she saw Celene's eyes narrow and the Lioness begin to take the place of the woman she altered her approach, lest this devolve into an argument when she desired a more pleasurable resolution instead. "Why now? You tell me how you love me, the way that you kissed me…and now you tell me no!?" Arousal, love and bitterness spiked the Elvhan's woman's voice an octave and she cursed her lack of control, yet in the next moment the Lioness pounced, her own outrage too much to bear.

"I can't let you go again! Don't you see? If you let me have you, I shall never let you go! Even if you wanted to leave!" Celene snarled, sounding more like her title than Briala had ever heard her, her face stark with a fierce yearning that both inflamed and humbled the spymaster.

Celene paused and stared Briala in the eyes. She needed the Elvhan woman to see, to truly see what Celene would do to keep her always. She had to know how…dangerous her love was. Turning away, so that she would have something to do with her hands, the Empress gestured wildly, as her passion drove her to an emotional tirade.

"The chantry, the nobles, even the people, had no right! They called you my pet! They scoffed and sneered at my very heart! Yet I've had to smile and make pleasantries! To pretend when I wanted nothing more than to kill them all! All these years without you…even when you returned you were lost to me. Yet I am powerless to change it…any of it! I cannot bear it any longer Briala. You are right, you always have been right…I am a terrible monster. Yet I will not become that monster to keep you…if I can give you nothing else I shall give you your freedom."

The Empress paused in her pacing and faced her temptress once again with resolute eyes. "You never trusted me at all Briala. You thought I wanted a servant, you thought I wanted a body slave. In the end you are just like them."

Celene turned away, waving her hand dismissively, unable to bear to see her most adored one looking at her with accusation…or worse, pity. "You don't have to play the part anymore Briala. Maker knows you've suffered enough at my hands. Go, find someone you can truly love. No need to be the lamb for the slaughter any longer." Celene tried to make her words sound strong and certain, the words of an Empress, yet all she could hear was the wretched tones of a heartbroken maiden. Emotionally drained, the human woman sunk to her knees and buried her face in her hands and wept.

For the first time Briala could see the chains that shackled her empress and for the first time she felt she could understand what it was to truly love her. She had judged Celene much as the rest of the world did, everyone demanding but none truly giving or caring. When she had thought Celene cold or cruel she turned a blind eye to how it wounded her beloved's soul. When she should have been her human's safe harbor she only offered more demands for her people. When she realized the part Celene had played in her parent's death and in the razing of the alienage, she turned her back, using her love as a dagger.

Yet at this point Celene would not accept a kind hand, the Lioness felt her despair was a worthy penance for wronging Briala. The realization that her beloved would damn herself to a slow decent into madness made her heart pang with regret and fear. Now Celene doubted even their past. Briala knew the few nobles that either guessed or slandered their true relationship felt Briala gave herself to Celene because she had no choice or to gain power. For the first time the thought shattered the spymaster, because for the first time her Lioness believed it of her.

Still Celene loved her, forgave her because she expected that a woman that had lived her life as a second class citizen had a right to betray and hurt her. That she deserved to be betrayed by the one she held dear because she couldn't remake Orlais. Briala felt tears prick her eyes at the thought that love mean disillusionment and betrayal when something as powerful as this almost unbearable feeling should be so much more. Even at their lowest point Celene had relentlessly, almost naively believed in the sureness of their love. Briala had depended upon it even in her war against the Empress. To see that faith shaken gutted the Elvhan maiden. Yet she had done this…she had brought the Empress of her heart so low…not the Game not Gaspard.

'What have I become, that I could look at the woman I love and wish ruin upon her? That the same hand that should protect her always could hold a dagger to her throat?' Briala lost herself in the memory of warm hesitant smiles, of training sessions, of nights stargazing or making sweet love and a thousand memories in between. She had not lost her love in the devastation of the Alienage…she had turned her back on her instead.

No longer.

The dusky skinned maiden moved forward slowly as if Celene were a skittish Halla rather than the Empress of Orlais. Gently, she placed a hand on the platinum head and stroked the silken locks. "I believed in you Celene. But I couldn't believe in the rest of the world. At the time you wanted a fantasy. While my people bled and were used how could I take pleasure in being more? How could I possibly see what you saw…in me, in Orlais? How could I trust in a world that could subjugate an entire race because they didn't believe in the same Creator? How could I believe that world would bend its knee to your machinations? I never stopped wanting to protect my coeur, but I thought she died in the Alienage… and I was wrong. Celene… Ma sa'lath…please. Don't torture yourself any longer. " Briala wanted to say more but she knew in this state Celene would refuse to hear her. She was too intent on letting her castigations and regrets drown her.

Celene remained unresponsive, save her silent tears for minutes. Then abruptly she turned and threw her arms around the Elvhan woman's waist and buried her face in the spymaster's dress and sobbed, all of her pain, love and fear escaping her heaving form with each pained breath. All the while Briala stroked her love's hair, fighting her own tears, wanting to offer her strength to her proud Lioness. When Celene could weep no more, Briala drew her to her feet and led her to the large bed.

Spent, the Empress barely responded as her former hand maiden removed her clothes and helped her slip into a sleeping shift. Carefully Briala stripped to her underwear and reclined on the bed, coaxing the empress to follow. At first Celene resisted, her crystalline eyes becoming frightened, and Briala cooed and whispered nonsensical words until her muscles slowly released their rigid tension.

"Just to sleep…come to me Celene."

For the first time Briala lay with Celene curled within her embrace. The human woman's journey in the Fade was a tumultuous one as she could hear the soft whimpers and murmurs that filled the otherwise silent room.

Briala tucked the silver head under her chin and her eyes narrowed as she noticed the sleeping drops on the nearby nightstand. When had Celene needed potions to ease her beyond the veil? She looked down upon the cherished form and she could see the small changes that only one as intimately familiar with the empress' body as she would notice. Celene had lost weight and not in a pleasant way; the empress maintained her bard training despite her bodyguards, and normally possessed more muscle to her svelte frame. She looked weak, almost gaunt, her beauty dulled slightly by her body's deficiency. Briala felt her heart shatter again at the physical ramifications of their separation. Protectively, the Elvhan woman tightened her embrace nuzzled her face into her vhenan'ara's sweet scented hair. Sighing softly at the familiar scent, the spymaster closed her eyes to follow her love beyond the veil.

They needed to talk further about this, needed to clear the air lest nothing be truly changed between them. Knowledge was useless without action.

"I forgive you ma sa'lath. Perhaps one day I will help you learn to forgive yourself."

This is unbeated and I posted/finshed it after a 16 hour workday. I'll edit it later but the muse hit me in the face. Note this is set in the same universe (actually takes place right after) Maferath's Kin. I have a few more pieces planned and will likely combine them into one story later. I'm loving this couple because it is rare to find two noble demons that love each other and don't manage to murder/destroy each other before love wins out. Please note my only exposure to this couple is the game and the dragon age wiki. I've not read the book.

ma sa'lath (mah sah-lath): my one love

ma vhenan (EHM-ma VEY-nahn): my heart

ma'arlath (MAR-lath): I love you

ma emma lath (ma EHM-mah lath): you are my love

vhenan'ara (VEY-nahn-AHR-ah): heart's desire