A/N: Hello! This is going to be a collection of one-shots from the Marauders era! Hope you like! Some will be with Jazz, some won't be. REVIEW! This one is mostly dialogue. All of the oneshots will be exactly 1111 words. Review!
"Pumpkins!" yelled Sirius Black loudly. The other three boys looked at their insane roommate.
"Padfoot, what the bloody hell?"
"I've figured out the reason girls are totally in love with me!"
"And why would that be, and what does it have to do with pumpkins?"
"Because, dear Remus, girls love pumpkins! And I'm amazing, just like a pumpkin! And my hair is prettier than pumpkins"
"Moony, Wormy, I think Sirius has finally lost it."
"Prongs, Sirius lost it two years ago."
"Er...lost what, exactly?" asked Peter.
"His damn dignity," replied James. Sirius pouted, sticking his lower lip out, and making it tremble.
"Oh my Jamie dearest darling, how could you ever say such an evil thing?"
"Cause you started sniffing my bed before taking naps in it. That is just crazy, my friend."
"Sleeping? In James's bed? Guys, is there something we should know about?" joked Peter.
"Yup, Prongs proposed yesterday, we're getting married in an hour. We've been in love forever. Oh, how I love thou, my dearest Jamie!"
"Sirius! My angel of black, gross, fur!"
"James, my pokey antlers of crappy doom!"
"Crappy doom. Never heard that one before," said Remus thoughtfully. Peter chuckled.
"Siri-poo, my softie toilet paper!"
"Jamie-poo, my-"
"Alright, you love-birds, save it for the bedroom," said Remus.
"Er, Remus? This is their bedroom."
"Aw, shit. Why on earth did we have to get stuck with them?"
"It's too bad, really."
"Wormtail, I fear we may be the only sane people in this dorm."
"HEY!"
"Whatever."
"Only girls say whatever. Are you a girl Moony?" asked Sirius innocently. Remus chucked a pillow at his friend. James blinked.
"Mate, you wanna know why you're a girl?"
"No."
"BECAUSE YOU GET YOUR 'TIME OF THE MONTH'!" Sirius and James both burst out in hysteric fits of laughter, at this incredible witty joke.
"My goodness, you guys are hilarious," said Remus sarcastically.
"We know!" they chorused.
"Do you guys not know what sarcasm is?" asked Peter earnestly. The two rolled their eyes at each other.
"Of course we do, dearest Wormy, dear. We were just using the method of sarcasm against sarcasm. Though we are, actually, completely hilarious," explained Sirius patiently. Peter, Remus, and James all simultaneously rolled their eyes.
"Siriussss," whined James.
"What?"
"I'm hungry!"
"Come to think of it, so am I."
"Chocolate wouldn't hurt."
"Food!"
"Who's going to the kitchens?" asked James.
"James is," said Remus.
"Remus will!" said Sirius.
"Sirius is," said Peter.
"Peter's going!" yelled James. They all looked at each other.
"Well, mate, I certainly do NOT fancy going out in the dark all the way to the kitchens..."
"Just like you, yeh lazy arse," said Sirius.
"Look who's talking," retorted James. Remus sighed when James and Sirius began wrestling on the floor.
"You lot are going to drive me out of my mind!" James stared at the young werewolf.
"Really? Is that possible? Would you soul, like, drive out in a car, or-" Remus groaned. Peter patted his back.
"I feel your pain," he muttered softly.
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know who Shakespeare is?" Remus stared at Sirius.
"Padfoot, how can you NOT know who that is?"
"I don't," he said.
"Me neither," said James.
"Same," said Peter.
"Are you crazy?"
"Yes."
"He wrote some of the greatest literature ever know to Earth!"
"What does literature mean, Moony?" asked Sirius. Remus buried his face in his hands.
"Oh Merlin."
"Merlin is boss," said James. Remus looked at him strangely.
"Boss?"
"I saw someone say that in a television show."
"Tele...visi...on?" said Sirius slowly. James puffed out his chest.
"Yeah. It's this muggle thing, where they trap muggles in a box for eternity if they do something bad, and then they force them to entertain people for the rest of their lives." Remus and Peter both groaned in unison. Sirius gulped nervously.
"Merlin's saggy boxers! Muggles are scarier than Voldemort!"
"I'm not even going to try and explain this to them," Remus said to Peter, who nodded.
"That would be smart, Moony."
"If normal people listened to our conversation, we'd be in jail."
"Moony, what's jail?"
"Azkaban for muggles, without dementors."
"Muggles are so scary."
"Your face is so scary."
"BUUURRRNNN!"
"James, shut up, they can probably hear you in all the way Diagon Alley."
"I'm not that loud!"
"Yes you are!" three voices chorused. James pouted.
"You guys are really mean."
"Your face is really mean."
"Sirius..."
"Your face is Sirius!"
"That doesn't make sense!"
"Be quiet, for Merlin's sake!"
"Your face is quiet!"
"Oh my goodness..."
"Your face is goodness."
"Why, thank you, dear Pads."
"Your face is Pads."
"MY FACE IS NOT MADE OF...LADY PRODUCTS!"
"Merlin, people must think we're insane!"
"That is cause we are..."
"Ughhhhh," growled Remus.
"Moony, who are you growling at?"
"Myself."
"Why would that be?"
"Because. I am so stupid."
"We know. But you don't, so why do you think you are stupid?"
"Because I became friends with you morons."
"You know you love us!" said James cheekily.
"What does moron mean?"
"One neuron."
"What is a neuron?"
"A brain cell."
"Oh that makes- HEYYY!"
"Just figured it out, genius?"
"Prongs, you didn't know that either."
"Whatever."
"WHATEVER IS A GIRL WORD!" yelled Sirius.
"I'm tired," said Peter.
"Only girls are tired at this time Pete. It's only three!"
"In the morning!"
"We'll be exhausted for classes!"
"So what?"
"Yeah! We can just nap in History of Magic! Easy peasy!"
"'Peasy' is not a word."
"Who cares?"
"Barbie!"
"Barbie's blond, she doesn't care about anything but shagging!"
"Eww!"
"Why on Earth are we having this conversation?"
"BECAUSE WE ARE EPIC!"
"What in the name of Merlin does epic mean, Prongs?"
"Awesome. It's another muggle thing."
"Muggles are-"
"Scary! We know! Now can you shut up so I can sleep?"
"Never! I shall stay awake for eternity!"
Within 10 minutes, Sirius was asleep. Remus looked at him.
"Well, good night Prongs and Wormtail."
"Night Moonykins."
"Good night, Remus."
A/N: Hello, mates! This is oneshot number one! More to continue, and please review! Whenever I have writers block, I'll post anther chapter, so don't expect this to be regularly updated.
love,
Jazz