Okay, let me explain. The other day, me and my friend Botan were talking about really bad couples and I suggested Aro/Haruhi (Any Twilight and The Melancholy fans out there?). Anyway, she started spouting out this story and I, knowing it was going to be epic, committed it to memory. It is just for fun, nothing serious and probably the most random thing you will ever read. If you even finish, that is XD
One day, Haruhi Suzumiya took the S.O.S. Brigade to Volterra as a field trip. There, she met Aro and they fell in love. They got married and went to Mt. Rushmore for their honeymoon. There, as Haruhi was climbing up George Washington's face, she fell off and died. Distraught, Aro took her body to Washington D.C. Then, he went to Hershey Park and ate chocolate. Then, he dragged her body to Colorado's Yellowstone Park where it accidentally fell in the geyser and was disintegrated into ash. Aro put her ashes into his breast pocket. Then, he bought a new pocket protector and engraved her initials into it: "HS". Then, he went down to Mexico where he got a donkey and burned her initials into its flank. He rode that donkey all over South America. Then, because he had lost the donkey in one of his many adventures, he got on a boat. As Aro was sunbathing, a whale came out of the water. He jumped on the whale and was riding it. Because the whale reminded him of Haruhi, he stuffed her ring in its blowhole where it stayed forever more. He decided he wanted to know the meaning of life. Just then, a giant eagle picked him up and took him to Tibet where he climbed a mountain to approach the Great Sage. "Oh, Great Sage! What is the meaning of life?!" he asked. And the Sage was like: "………………." And Aro said: "Darn it! I forgot my Tibetan-English dictionary!" But just then, an African Swallow came and carried him to Britain. But he decided he didn't like Britain so he went to Ireland. But he didn't like Ireland either so he went to Iceland where he became a backup singer to the band "Sigur Ros". After a few years of that he decided he wanted to fulfill his life-long dream and become an architect. He moved to Luxemburg where he built windmills that smiled at him. When he got sick of that, he went to Rhode Island where he came face-to-face with a killer armadillo. But he said: "No, bitch!" and punched that armadillo all the way to New York where it did substantial damage. Then, Aro decided to become a potter and moved to New Zealand. There, he potted many a pot. But one day he tripped and face-planted in his clay and suffocated. In his last moments of life, he crawled to the beach where a dolphin told him to stick a starfish on his chest. He did so and went home. A dog was there and it made him food. But he was food poisoned. In his last moments of life he remembered Haruhi and the whale. THE END
Alternate Ending:
A dog was there and it made him food. But he was food poisoned. In his last moments of life, the ground opened up beneath him and swallowed him. It closed back up and burped. THE END.