A really random idea I had.

I don't own Total Drama.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't admit her feelings. She'd done that once before and it had completely ruined her life.

Dyke. They'd called her. They'd always managed to work the 'lesbian-est' pun on the phrase 'let's be honest' into every conversation they'd ever had with her. Not that people spoke to her often once they found out. Girls would even leave the bathroom if she walked in. And they complained about her to the coach until she was no longer allowed to use the girls' change-rooms at her school for either gym class or practice.

Sure, she had a tough shell, but that was just her defence. They'd made her life an absolute living hell, and she was always the one in the principal's office for the fights that had broken out. The assholes who ran the school were just as homophobic as her douchebag classmates. It was always her fault, nobody else's.

It was discrimination, there was no doubt about it. But she'd eventually decided that the best way to react to their homophobic comments was to pretend like they didn't bother her. If she showed weakness, they would think they'd won. But she would never let them win.

Eventually, she'd come to rely on her mp3 player like it was a part of her. She needed it to block out the taunting, because her violent temper was a potent mix when provoked by the bullies at her school, and she had been suspended so many times that she was nearing expulsion.

And so, she couldn't come out again. Not here, not now.

This was supposed to be a fresh start.

And so, she had to think of the most offensive thing she could think of for one of the most attractive women she'd ever met. She didn't find those little bottle blondes from magazines even remotely attractive. She liked women who were a healthy weight, and a delicious chocolate complexion certainly didn't hurt.

"Move it or lose it, sister thunder thighs!" she growled, clenching her fists.

"Oh tell me that the macho mama with butt cheeks tighter than my weave did not just say that!" LeShawna responded, obviously affronted by her words.

"You heard me." she replied, pushing past her and snatching up her mp3 player. "I'm going out."

She couldn't let them see the cracks in her demeanour. She needed to be somewhere else so that she wouldn't be so tempted to just let herself lose control and cry for the first time in years. She'd cool down, get control of herself and then she'd come back.

She and LeShawna could never be an item anyway, not only because she wasn't even sure that LeShawna swung her way, but because she'd spent such a long time trying to forget that part of her. People were assholes, and she couldn't change the fact that she was a woman who liked other women, but they humiliated her for it anyway. She certainly hadn't chosen to be this way, and after all the misery she'd endured because of it, she wasn't sure she would have, if given the choice.

She couldn't come out here or now. No, that part of her life was the reason that high school had been such hell for her. It was her secret, her dirty little secret. The secret that she would never tell anyone, for surely the others would make her life a living hell if they knew.

It had happened once, and Eva was sure it would happen again if anyone ever found out.

It had to be this way.

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