Author's Note: In this, it may seem that Edward is in love with her…too early, but if you have read the draft that Stephenie Meyer posted, you will probably know when Edward became aware of his love for her. I did not read Stephenie Meyer's partial draft of Midnight Sun illegally. She put it on her site at some point after the leak. The first time I read any of it was after it had been posted on her site. I wanted to stress that. Hehe. Please read and review. :)
Disclaimer: A lot of things in this were taken word-for-word from Twilight.
She was so fragile, so small. The moment I saw her beautiful brown eyes widen in shock and fear, I knew I would never be able to leave her again.
I saw my sister in her eyes, which probably sounds crazy. The fear that I could never understand, not being as breakable as a human, a female, a teenager. How was she feeling? Did she realize what they were planning? Did she already know what they would do to her? Was she aware of how helpless she really was?
My nails dug into the steering wheel. I could kill them. I could do it before she blinked an eye. I wanted to.
But I reminded myself that it was not my place to decide who would live and who would die.
I could hear her heart pounding in her chest.
My next action was completely unplanned.
I stopped and threw the passenger door open.
"Get in," I said. I was surprised I could get the words out.
Bella looked completely relieved. It was rather ironic that she should feel so relieved to be saved by a monster, one who might kill her on the way home. I think she smiled.
"Put on your seat belt," I said.
The irony would really destroy me if I killed her in a car accident.
I hated those men more than I'd ever despised someone in my entire existence. I desperately wanted to snap their limbs apart.
Bella wasn't the least bit frightened. She did as I told her. She was so calm, so at peace, so comforted by my presence. If I weren't so furious, I might have laughed.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"No."
That was the first time in so long that I actually spoke the complete truth around anyone.
I kept driving for a while, desperate to feel the relief she had coursing through her body. I wanted to feel safe beside her. I wanted to touch her without a care in the world, knowing I would never lose control.
I wanted to be able to tell her how much I loved her.
After sitting in silence for quite some time, I was finally able to speak. "Bella?"
"Yes?" she said. Her voice was rough. She must have been so scared.
"Are you all right?" I asked. I knew she could hear the anger in my tone.
"Yes," she said softly. Her voice had still not gone back to normal.
And that made me angrier.
"Distract me, please."
Bella wrinkled her nose in confusion. "I'm sorry, what?"
I let out a deep breath.
"Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down," I explained, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose.
I was so angry with myself. She was the one who had been chased. She was the one in danger, and yet I was the one asking for help. I was telling her what to do. I was demanding that she take away my pain.
"Um," she said.
I waited, watching her bite her lip thoughtfully for a while.
Finally, she spoke. "I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?"
That worked. She always made me smile, not mattered how unwilling I was to do so.
"Why?" I asked, curious. I loved to hear her shoot down my opponents.
'They're not your opponents,' I tried to convince myself. But it was too late. I had already accepted that I was stuck. If Bella chose anyone besides me, I'd be crushed. And if Bella chose me…I wouldn't let her in. She would get hurt.
And I could not let Bella get hurt.
"He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom—either he's insane or he's still trying to make up for almost killing me last…well, you remember it, and he thinks prom is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we're even, and he can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies(,) and maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total his Sentra, though. If he doesn't have a ride, he can't take anyone to prom…," she prattled, like I had asked her to do.
"I heard about that." Thankfully, I sounded more calm and collected.
"You did?" she asked in disbelief. "If he's paralyzed from the neck down, he can't go to the prom, either."
I sighed and opened my eyes.
"Better?" she asked, concerned.
"Not really," I admitted.
Bella watched me as I leaned my head back against the seat and stared at the ceiling of my car. My eyes were probably unwelcoming.
"What's wrong?" she whispered.
I almost smiled. She was so kind and caring, so concerned about someone who really needed to get over his own problems.
I tried to give her the answer she wanted without spilling out too much information. "Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." I was whispering just as she had been. I stared out the window, narrowing my eyes. "But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" I didn't finish the sentence. I tried for a moment to get my anger under control again. "At least," I continued, "that's what I'm trying to convince myself."
"Oh," she said.
We were sitting in silence once again. I took advantage of it, calmly assessing my situation. Suddenly, while I watched Bella from the corner of an eye, I saw my sister. My beautiful sister. What would Rosalie think of what I had done? Would she condemn me for making another mistake, for risking the exposure of us just to save a girl who wouldn't seem to take care of herself?
Which brought up another question. Was I supposed to keep saving Bella's life?
Could it be possible for Rosalie to understand?
I stared at the blonde, disgusted. I forgot about my ill feelings toward her in that moment. She was so fragile, so broken, so torn apart. Her face was tear-streaked. She was bruised and covered in dried blood.
Esme and I left the room then. It might have been to protect Rosalie from being devoured.
Or it could have been because we could not stand to see what had been done to her, to see how brutally she'd been beaten and raped.
I sat in my room for hours, thinking about what had been done to her by her own fiancée. He was supposed to love her, wasn't he?
How could someone do such a thing?
Carlisle brought me to our living room later on. He spoke patiently to me. "I know you don't like her, Edward."
"It's okay," I said.
And it wasn't a lie. It was okay. It didn't matter how I felt about her ,the things she had said to me in the past, the nasty looks she had thrown my way in town. None of it mattered when I saw the bruises and the blood and the pain in her face.
None of it mattered when I heard her groaning in pain after being lightly touched.
Just like it had when I stood next to the bloody mess that was Rosalie, the monster within me longed to kill and to protect. To love and to leave. To create and to destroy.
Maybe I was meant to be Bella's protector. Maybe the punishment I had been given was to constantly save her…and then be forced to leave. Heal her wounds…and then run from her blood. Maybe I was being punished because I didn't save Rosalie.
I could have been out that night many years ago. I could have been following Rosalie. I could have been there when the drunken bastards came to her. I could have pulled her into the car. She never would have been touched. I could have saved her life and…
I could have saved her soul.
I knew the way Rosalie felt about who she was now. I knew that she would have preferred a quick and easy death to a lifetime of hell.
Maybe I was called to prevent another terrible "death." Bella would not be destroyed the way Rosalie had been. Her innocence and her compassionate soul would not be broken. I would not fail her the way I had failed my sister.
Alice's visions meant nothing. I could always change the future. I could prevent the past from repeating itself.
I would do for Bella what I had not done for Rosalie.
Save her.
Bella glanced at the clock. "Jessica and Angela will be worried," she murmured. "I was supposed to meet them."
I started the engine again without another word.