Inspired by and using lyrics from Katy Perry's song of the same name.
It was three in the morning and she was still staring at the ceiling. Not that she wasn't used to being up in the middle of the night, just – normally it was a tech problem that kept her awake. Melted wires, shut-down programs, viruses, … something she could take out of the system, fix it and replace it, neatly and new.
This time, however, she couldn't simply remove the problem.
It was beating inside her.
Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see
What's really on the inside?
No, she wasn't shocked about last night's revelations. It had been dangerous and crazy and absolutely against her way of life so far, but… she had known there was more to it. More to Oliver Queen than just a young man coming back to life from a five-year-exile on an island.
And it felt good to now have proof that her suspicions were right. He was more. He was also brutal and aggressive, and he was used to kill people. He had used her and Diggles, had probably risked their lives with what he was doing, and…
… and now Felicity lay in the dark knowing that she would do it all again.
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time
What had this man done to her? It seemed like from the first time he had walked into her office, she was someone else. The nice and geeky girl she had been so long, had felt comfortable with for so long, had somehow vanished in this moment. It was as if Oliver had seen right through this part of her. And though he had obviously not noticed it, or didn't care about it anyway – his look had stirred something inside Felicity.
Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
Felicity curled up and buried her face in her hands. This was crazy. She couldn't think like this about a man she hardly knew. Yes, she knew his deepest secret, and she had felt his blood and skin on her hands, but… she didn't know Oliver. She actually knew The Hood better than she did know Oliver.
And he wasn't good for her! Felicity forced herself to stand up. She walked through the dark room and leant her hot forehead against the cold window. Starling City was never totally asleep… was Oliver ever sleeping by the way?
She closed her eyes to the sight but his eyes still didn't leave her. They were following her wherever she went, beautiful and lonely as they were.
Maybe it was the sadness inside that held her. The knowledge that you can't tell anybody, can't trust anybody. Hard to accept as it was, Felicity knew that no matter how hard Oliver Queen would punish his enemies… the hardest sacrifice was the one he made.
And she wasn't sure how long she would be able to fight against her feelings for him.
I'll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm I would
I do it all because I…
He didn't care for her, she knew that. Felicity meant what she had said – she was not that blonde. She was not the kind of woman superheroes fell for. Oliver saw her as a pretty useful tool, and maybe with time he would see her as an ally, too. But more…
… I love you
I love you
Unconditional, unconditionally
She wasn't even sure if Oliver still could feel as much as she did right now. Maybe being cut off everyone you love made you incapable of loving after some time. Felicity wouldn't blame him. Not for that. But he was blaming himself, and it killed her.
After so little time of knowing him… it killed her to see him suffer.
So open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart
No tears were running down the glass. Felicity's hands were clenched to fists. The girl Oliver Queen had asked to check his laptop up was gone. If nothing else this night had proved that she was stronger than that. It didn't matter anymore what he was feeling for her. Of course, it would be wonderful if he saw her like she saw him, but this was life. Not a fairytale.
Acceptance is the key to be
to be truly free
Maybe it was not Felicity Smoak's destiny to be happily ever after with The Hood – but it was her destiny to protect him.
Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
let go and just be free
cause I will love you unconditionally