AN: I DON'T MAKE ANY MONEY, SO NO ONE SUE ME, OKAY?
This fic is a gift to all my readers for the holiday season, and the next chapter will be posted right around American Thanksgiving, and the fic will end right around Christmas. Being ethnically a Jew, and religiously pagan, I have no particular attachment to Christmas, and this timeline isn't a statement on Christmas being more valid than any other religious holiday, its just that this timeline works best for me.
Baby, Its Cold Outside
She shivers and he hears her teeth chatter, rattling around her skull.
She has been back with him but four months, and at fourteen, she's still so damn… small. It's even more obvious, now that she's lost weight recently, and it's now clear to him that the single blanket he's provided is insufficient for the winter months; he can't travel during the snowy times if she is with him, that much he now understands.
He must go and seek shelter for his human girl, but he is also loathe to ask her to walk aimlessly while he searches, and so he decides to go and scout a warmer place on his own; he can move faster this way. He will return for her, with a path already planned and a clear destination already in mind.
His course of action decided, he stands and lifts his nose to the air, scenting all he can before looking down at her shivering form, huddled up with blue lips, and finally he speaks, "Rin…" She slowly lifts her eyes to him, looking pitiful, and his heart clenches at how clearly she is suffering, "I will return soon."
Looking near to tears she merely nods and he thinks perhaps she may be regretting her decision to travel with him again, and, at this moment, he almost couldn't blame her. He failed to anticipate her human frailty and she is the one paying the price.
It seems no matter how much he… loves… her, he never stops failing where her care and needs are concerned and he questions the wisdom of her decision to come back with him when he offered her the much talked about 'choice' on the day of her mogi ceremony.
Why did she come back to one so ill-equipped to care for her? Why did she give up the comfort of a home, the future prospect of a family, and all her friends… Simply to be with one such as This Sesshoumaru?
He can't possibly fathom the reasoning behind her decision… But the inexplicable joy he felt at seeing her look down, hiding her small but giddy smile and seeing a faint blush paint her cheeks, and hearing her whispered voice say those magic words… "Rin still wishes to be with Sesshoumaru-sama forever." Yes, for reasons unknown to him, the girl decided on her own to return to a life of aimless wandering, roaming the forests of Japan; dutifully and… dare he say (hope), happily, following his footsteps and shadowing his path until the ends of the earth.
She deserves so, so much more than this life… More than I have given… More than this Sesshoumaru is able to provide…
Cursing himself silently, the frenzied daiyoukai takes to the cloudy midnight skies, a light darting about in strange, seeming to those who watched it from their windows as he pushes himself to his absolute limit of endurance, flying quickly over a human village, the residents seeing his ball of light to be, to their eyes, randomly whizzing about the sky; yet he is methodical in his search patterns, guided by scent and instinct, and his quest to find his precious little… Okay, not so little, anymore… girl shelter has him moving ever northward, to less familiar territories. The north has mountains, and the quickly-becoming-desperate Lord of the West is seeking out a cave or abandoned dwelling to bed his little human down in for the night… Before she dies of… Oh what the hell had she called it while prattling on during his mid-winter visit to her former village of residence last year? The thing that little girl who had gotten lost in the blizzard had died of… Hi-po-su-mi-a? (Hypothermia.)
The bears are hibernating and the wolves have already weeks ago taken refuge in most of the caves and it is more than an hour later when he finally finds a small, dank cave that will be (just barely) suitable, and only for the night.
Cursing silently again, at the distance to this shabby shelter and the terrain Rin will be forced to travel in order to get to such a dismal excuse for a sleeping cozy, he soars back to their lonely encampment, where his most precious person is loyally waiting… Devout in her belief that he will return and will not allow her to die alone in some snowdrift.
Was there such a thing as having too much faith in another person? If such a thing were possible, it was true of Rin in regards to him. If only she knew how often he was simply at a loss for what to do concerning her… needs. He'd always managed to fill them in the past… When she had to get food, he'd make sure to travel near to a farm with crops which could be stolen… When she needed to bathe he took her to hotsprings or, in warmer months, rivers and streams… When she needed clothing, well that was the one area in which he excelled and he always dressed her in the finest silks and garb.
But now, she was… older. She had… matured. Her… needs… would also be maturing; had already matured.
The last village they passed… He'd caught her… kissing… some random village boy!
It took everything he had within him not to rip out the boy's tongue; he has since made certain to keep a closer eye on her because if some other male…
Sesshoumaru growled. You aren't doing anything about taking care of her… needs… in that regard, are you?
The voice in his head whispers, "Coward!"
He shakes his head. What is he thinking? The girl can't… won't… won't ever desire that it be… him to fulfill that particular… need of hers.
Such was made very, very clear in his head when he walked in on her private party with that dirty farm-rat. She had never… Well, if she chose even that disgusting village human boy with his grubby hands and dirty clothes over coming to him when she wanted…
Urg. He can't even follow this train of thought anymore. He needs to keep her safe and right now he is failing to keep her safe from the enemy of the elements.
At least with both Jaken and Ah-un hibernating like the reptile youkai they are, he won't have to worry about Jaken slowing them up… But without Ah-un such mountainous trails have become far more difficult for Rin to traverse.
He will have to carry her… Although, that may just be the silver lining to the dark gray snow clouds overhead. He so very rarely can find any excuse to actually touch her…
Perhaps, a more permanent settlement for winter months will be in order? A place where they can settle down and finally become… reacquainted.
The newly falling snow stings even his eyes as he continues to fly at top speed back to where he left her huddled near a dying fire and surrounded by nothing but damp wood.
When he returns he notices… The girl is covered in snow and her lips are blue; her heart rate is slow and her breathing is shallow and he… panics.
She's cold; too cold, and he doesn't know what to do? Will she… die? Die of his ignorance and neglect… again?
Immediately he hefts her up and wraps his fur around her… He has no choice now, he must take her to the village and force humans to tell him how to care for her condition. He himself has never had to be made warm from cold and surely there must be some treatment for this ailment; there must be some way that is best to warm her quickly that he has never had knowledge of, because he has never before needed knowledge of human healing… He can feel the slowness of her heart beat and without thinking another thought, he practically teleportstoward the village he flew over earlier.
She's fading and he will not let her – his girl – His Rin- die from simple cold.
A glowing ball settles down outside the lonely hut where he senses the spiritual energy of a miko, and an old woman greets him with orders to leave and threats of purification.
"This girl is human and she is… dying… from being… cold."
This notion sounds ridiculous to him, but he can not deny the truth. Who knew a human could really die of something so… simple?
"You'll not bring your whore here for kindness." He doesn't even bother to deny the accusation, though he and the girl have never… She's never professed interest in him in that capacity and he will not impose himself… Doubtless, she would do as he wished, give herself to him, regardless if she returned his desire or not and he will not… take advantage… of her… loyalty.
"This Sesshoumaru asks not your services, but the girl…" he looks sadly down into Rin's face, her lips still blue and snowflakes dusted against her eyelashes, but her eyes don't move, don't twitch, and he forces the next word from his throat, "please… tell this Sesshoumaru what he must do to prevent her death."
"If I tell you, you will leave without bothering any of the villagers?" The old miko eyes him wearily, and he simply nods his agreement. He has no business with these humans. The only one he cares about is right here in his arms.
"Strip yourself and the girl bare and lay on top of her under as many blankets as you have. She will not survive the time it will take you to build a fire so you must share your body heat with her. When she wakes, try to get her to move around some beneath the blanket, and run your hands quickly over her extremities; friction will build up heat. She would do well to have a warm meal as soon as she is stable."
He nods without fully considering the implications of such… acts…and takes to the skies, his precious little girl wrapped in mokomoko and he makes his way toward the cave he's marked with his scent.
Immediately upon entering, Sesshoumaru lays the girl's single blanket on the cave floor, and takes off her wet with melted snow kimono layers; he doesn't… lookand she doesn't stir, doesn't move, and he notices now that her fingertips are also blue. He strips her naked and refuses to even allow himself the pleasure of looking at her, his guilt so intense, and quickly his armor and swords are cast aside. His own kimono repels the wetness as does his mokomoko so he removes them all… His hakama, his two kimono layers and he crawls over the girl, laying bare skin to bare skin, with his mokomoko haloed around them and his kimono layers over top.
She's cocooned in warmth now, and he supports his body weight on his forearms, but presses against her as fully as he can without being… inappropriate.
This is… highly awkward, and he can only pray she doesn't wake while they are still laying in such an… unseemly position.
He alternates resting his full weight on one arm at a time and using his free hand to rub her arms and squeeze her delicate little icicle fingers… It seems forever before he feels warmth begin to bleed back into her, even as a blizzard rages outside and the whipping wind creates white noise, making their little cave seem sheltered and… intimate.
They're in their own private world and now that her heart rate is speeding and her breathing is becoming more deep and regular… Only now does he allow himself to truly contemplate their… position. He buries his face against her neck and breathes warm breath on her still somewhat chilly skin, and when he sighs in relief, her fingers twitch, she curls away from the tickle of his exhale.
"Rin…" He whispers against her skin.
"Ummmmm… Sesshoumaru-sama…" She is still not fully roused from sleep and the way she said his name… So deep and throaty… breathless…
Suddenly, her lean legs spread and wrap around his midsection and his own hips naturally fall between hers. He gulps, desperately trying to keep himself from reacting.
"Sesshou…maru… sa…ma…" She squirms against him, and before he can think, he whispers her name in response, "Rin…"
The girl's arms bend and her fingernails scrape the middle of his back, and he squirms in reaction to the stimuli, letting loose a low, hungry growl. "Rin." He orders, more sharply this time. She has to stop that.
The girl's eyes blink open and she gives a lazy smile, "Sesshoumaru…" she breathes, snuggling close and kissing his neck. He rears back in complete and utter shock. For once, she hasn't even attempted to use his title.
"Rin!" How many times has he said only her name now? Why can't he ever just find the words? Then again, he isn't sure there are quite… words for this… situation.
Rin tenses, now fully roused from dreaming and pulls her face back just as quickly, to stare up him with eyes widened in shock… and fear.
Taking stock of their position… Him, naked on top of her, hips between hers and her legs wrapped snuggly around his mid-section, the startled girl quickly untwines her legs and pushes him away, then whispers, "Is Rin… dead?"
Rin can only think that she has died and gone to some illusionary heaven, because… Sesshoumaru-sama has never still been there when she's opened her eyes before. Always the dream evaporated and she woke, cold, alone, and full of a hopeless girlish longing for a "man" she could never have.
"No…You are… Very much alive." He strains, while thanking the gods that he's managed to save her from his own neglect just in the nick of time… again.
Suddenly she goes stiff and rigid and the acrid odor of terror invades his nose. Not… exactly the reaction he might have hoped for.
If she was alive, then that meant… What she had done in her sleep… He… She… "Oh Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin is so, so sorry!" The girl tries to move out from under him, and turns her head in utter humiliation. How could she have… In her sleep? What… Oh, her Lord was going to be so angry… so disgusted… The girl feels tears well up, and bile tickles the back of her throat.
Finally understanding invades, and she knows… their position… having been trained in healing, she immediately realizes what her Lord was forced to do… She'd grown hypothermic and he'd had to share his body heat with her and she had… done something… inappropriate.
"Shhhhhhhh…" He pulls her back close, and shifts them to their sides, holding her against his chest despite the fact she resists. He breathes into her ear and wraps mokomoko around her naked body and his, still intent on sharing his warmth with her.
For long moments he merely holds her, eyes closed and allowing his own secret fantasies of a life where this is not awkward, not unnatural, and instead common because she is his mate to drift around in his mind. He imagines holding her like this every night, touching her without reservation and without fear of rejection, and when she finally relaxes and curls into him, it feeds his fantasy just a little too much and without thinking, his lips find her cheek, part, and his tongue sneaks out to lap her face, and trail along until he's traced the shell of her earlobe.
He growls approvingly at the way she shivers, this time, not at the cold.
Rin inhales sharply when she feels a butterfly kiss land on the soft skin of her cheek, and a warm tip of a long tongue snake up to trace her earlobe, sending shivers crawling along her spine.
"My Lord!" She gasps, wondering again if she has died and gone to heaven… This can't be real. It can't be. Her Lord could never… her… A human…
Abruptly, he stops what he was doing, now instead of warm fantasies he's annoyed that he indulged so long in such delusions, because he's allowed himself to become… aroused. He shifts his hips, trying to move away from her, but her knee brushes his member, and he knows he's failed in his attempt to hide his state from her, by the way she gasps in shock.
She's answered when he shifts his hips and Rin feels something hot and smooth and hard brush against the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, just below the knee. She knows what that is… It radiates heat and makes her stomach flip flop, and a strange tickle shoots through her nether regions, becoming quickly a full-on ache. Rin silently moves herself instinctually toward that hot, smooth… thing… that seems so perfectly shaped to scratch this new itch building between her thighs.
He… can smell it. Her. She… is reacting to him… Is she still delirious?
Quickly all thoughts of cold fly from her mind as suddenly her body becomes unbearably hot and her nipples tingle, begging for touch… She's so sleepy, but she doesn't want to go to sleep; Rin doesn't want to let this opportunity pass her by, so she forces herself awake.
"Sesshoumaru-sama…" The girl breathes out in quiet awe. Her face burning, she just has to know, "Is that because of… Rin?"
She hears him gulp, his gruff voice from a faraway place whispering 'hai' so quietly she almost misses it, and she whimpers and answers by throwing her leg over his hips, despite her muscle fatigue, and the fact that her body begs for rest.
"Sesshoumaru-sama… please…" She's groggy, he voice is slurred and her eyes flutter open and closed, chapped lips parting and little pink tongue poking out, before her mouth just hangs, gaping and gasping shallow breaths and he realizes… This isn't… right.
He muststop this. Not because he doesn't want it, but because the girl is clearly not in her right mind at the moment, and he would be… taking advantage of her current state.
What a lech he's turned out to be. Here his precious little Rin is recovering from near death due solely to his neglect and he's using the situation to be… inappropriate.
"Go to sleep, Rin." He orders.
The girl yawns, "Please, no… Rin wants…" and she falls silent, her eyes closing, her breathing slowing and heartbeat strong and regular.
They have much to discuss when she wakes, he decides. If this… they… are going to happen, he will do it right; honor her with a proper title and court her as he would a lady of the noble ranks; but, for now, he merely holds her in their private world; this place where dreams and reality blend and there are no humans, no demons, no Lords and no peasants, and no outside judgments. Here, in this cave, there is only Sesshoumaru-sama and Rin, a young man and his little girl grown.