Disclaimer. I own nothing :)
It all began when a poor fat girl went to far into the woods.
Bright and early on a Wendsday morning and two small high pitch voices screeched from a small hut-like hut. Inside was a very much overweight teenage girl with a unibrow and dark bags under her eyes handfeeding a screeching woman in her late 40s sitting in a highchair. Over in a small corner a small skinny girl was handfeeding a screeching a very much over weight cat a half eaten taco. The young girl was also wiping some cat spat off the ground using a paper towel and some windex.
"I gonna go catch us some squirrel to have us tomorrow be for the ceremony." the heavy set girl said.
"Ok but Fatniss why don't you just go to Targets to secertly eat that giant sack full of cheese." The young child asked pointing to a giant sack swung over Fatnisses shoulder.
"Shut up Trim rose." Said Fatniss walking out the door. "Oh and don't forgert that the keys to the sharp objects are on top of the cabnets dont let her get them she s gotten them before." Fatniss said to Trimrose while pointing to the mom still screeching in the highchair.
"Your just going to leave me here with THAT?! said Trimrose rudely pointingbat the confused looking mom.
"Yep." said Fatniss cheerfuly.
Fatniss then shut the door and slid down a sewage drain. She ran down a large pattern of tunnels that ended with a large opening with a large amount of trees and wildlife. She sprinted (and jiggled) towards it while humming mission imposible songs. She sat down, set her timer and started to enhale the cheese.
"Wow only 45 seconds to eat 12 pounds of cheese." She said excitedly.
She then stuffed the bag into her pants and started to run into the forest. She must have been alomst a seventh of a mile in (the farthest she has every been) panting from the "long" walk.
"Hey Fatniss!" Said a voice that Fatniss knew all to well. It was PEEPEE Mulyark who stalked Fatniss big time.
Fatniss started sprinting (something she never does) towards the heart of the forest. She finally stopped but not because she was tired but because she had fainted and fallen in a ditch.
Minutes had until a boy with bleached hair came hovering over the ditch.
"Don't worry Fatniss I'll save you!"
The next thing you know PEEPEE was swinging from a vine to try and pull Fatniss (who was now awake) out of the ditch. But little did he know how much Fatniss weighed.
He was soon to find out when Fatniss jumped on the vine saying
"There's ants it that ditch! "
Her weight must have been to much for the vine because it broke in half leaving them rolling back into the ditch. Katniss glared at PEEPEE and then started whaling. PEEPEE started pacing back and forth while itching his head real hard.
"OMG!" PEEPEE shouted . "These are not ants! There lice!" PEEPEE exclaimed
"Well that makes me feel better, I hate ants!" said Fatniss.
"Get me out of this ditch! "Yelled Fatniss
TWELVE MINUTES LATER
Fatniss flopped on her back yelling at the top of her lungs
" I'M HUNGRY!"
She stopped mid roll with a perfect view of PEEPEEs leg. She stayed like that for a moment but that's when she dove at his leg.
"Mmmmmm someone wants a piece of this." PEEPEE said blood running down his leg.
Fatniss froze, licked up all of the loose blood then scooted to the opposited side of the ditch.
"Ohhhaaaahhhaooooohhh" said a strange but familiar voice.
The swinging from a stronger vine was swooping down twards Fatniss he was banging on his chest like Tarzan was of course the great and powerful Gail.
"Oh my its Gail!" said Fatniss
He grabed her by the forearm and with one giant grunt he hoisted her out of the ditch leaving PEEPEE stranded.
"Yah that's alright guys I'll just find another way out."
But Gail and Fatniss were already long gone.
"Well I might as set up camp cause I guess I will be here a while."
He pulled out a snugluppet and sang the theme song softly to himself. Then he cried himself to sleep.
He was awaken in the middle of the night by a doctor taking a early hike in the woods. He got PEEPEE out of the ditch and looked at his leg.
"Wow it looks like some type of animal got you."
"Yahhh it is soo amazing." PEEPEE said dreamily
Then the dotor gave him a refil on his ointment and drove him home. The next day was reaping day. Fatniss got up dressed her mom then left with Trimrose. Everyone piled in to unorganized without thinking rubbed her unibrow and scratch her head.
"Hem hem... EVERYONE SHUT UP! Thank you. Welcome to the ummmm some numbereth Hunger Pains!"said an elderly lady with apink frizzy afro. Everyone looked around confused. A short lady with a brown frizzy afro whisperd sometjing in the pink hair ladies ear.
"Oh what? Oh yes...Hunger Games!" She said
"Now lets see who's turn it is to die- I mean compete in the Hunger Games! Boys...PEEPEE Mulyarky! Girls...Gail HAFAFAAAA. Whoops! Sorry ummmm Fatniss Evergleam!