A/N
There's some swearing in here, well a lotta swearing because it's basically 95% of my vocabulary. (I kid, I consider myself to be quite erudite. )
The first thing Steve says is something I saw in another fic, so if anyone knows (because I suck at remembering things) know thay this fic was half inspired by that and half inspired by an RP I did when I was supposed to be doing P.E.
COS SCHOOL IS FOR LOSERS AND ELEPHANTS.
No kids, I'm a bad influence, I'm the deadpool of the fanfic world. Please stop in school.
Also, you may have realised I'M WRITING THIS WHEN IT'S VERY LATE SO NO, I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE A LOT OF SENSE.
Don't judge.
That annoying moment when the notes are longer than the story.
Sorry not sorry.
I just love the sound of my own voice.
Let's play Mario Kart.
Captain Steve Rogers, loyal, kind, a general all round nice guy. And a fucking beast at Mario Kart.
"SUCK MY STAR SPANGLED DICK, I'M GONNA BEAT YOU SO HARD YOUR GRANDCHILDREN SHIT MUSHROOMS" Steve hollered and the team stared at him in horror.
Good guy Steven had been reduced to a foul mouthed, cursing teenager by a simple video game and his own competitive nature. Beside him, Tony whined. The raining champion of Mario Kart was having his ass handed to him by the Captain and as time went on, he was getting more desperate to win, and failing even more.
"I DID NOT JUST DRIVE OFF THE CLIFF, THE CLIFF JUMPED UP TO EAT ME. YOU SAW THAT, RIGHT BARTON?!" Tony yelled as his Mario (of course Tony Stark was Mario? Who else would he be? Luigi? No chance, he's an only child therefore never had to suffer that shame.) took a cliff dive for the third time that round.
Meanwhile, Steve was getting further and further in to the lead. His challengers, Tony and Clint, were getting more and more annoyed.
"DOING IT FOR AMERICA. " He shouted at the computer generated images and the other two men sighed to themselves. It seemed desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Stark" Clint said quietly, Steve was too enthralled in his game to pay attention. "You know what we gotta do, right?" Tony glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, just as there was a yell of
"Y'ALL CAN KISS THE STARS AND STRIPES ON MY ASS."
"Yeah..that didn't even make sense...and I'mpretty sure it's just offended an entire nation." Tony mumbled back. Steve was almost at the finish line, about to win yet another round and become even more unbearable. Then Tony and Clint struck, and with a look like a wounded puppy, turned to them, pouted and said
"Did you just blue shell me?"
And Tony could have sworn there were tears in the soldiers eyes.