Day One
Dear Todd,
I've started writing these notes down in an empty journal the convoy brought with them, so that when you do wake up you'll know what has happened in your absence. We brought you to a Spackle camp as soon as…it happened. I was so worried, and I still am. Ben is, too. He comes in and sits with you when he can. But I never leave your side Todd. Never.
The convoy arrived. I can't believe it. I almost forget about them, Todd. When I'm in here with you I forget about everything outside of this tent. I haven't seen hardly anyone from the convoy though. Bradley is our representative. I don't think I can forgive Sky. I probably never will. Please wake up.
Day Three
Dear Todd,
There are times when I can hear you. You're thinking about memories from the past. About me, sometimes. Sometimes I think you might wake up. But then you always go silent.
I have to remind myself that I hardly know you. Even though we have been through so much. You still had a childhood and a story before you met me. Maybe when you wake up you can tell me about it.
Day Seven
Dear Todd,
It's been a week. I read to you everyday. Every minute I can. And you can hear me. I know you can. But it's not enough to make you wake up. I've probably read it two whole times. Ben keeps telling me to be patient. That you're in there and you'll wake up on your own time. But I miss you. I need you Todd.
I had Ben take off those clothes you were wearing earlier. The one that look like his. I hated seeing you in them. It made me think that he was still here. Don't worry. I didn't watch. Now you're wearing fresh clothes right off the settler ship. We washed your hair, too. You could feel it. I could hear it in your noise. The water reminded you of the spot you and Ben went fishing. Todd, please wake up.
Day Ten
Dear Todd,
I feel like I'm losing my mind. Ten days. Ten days of seeing you lying there. It's hard to keep telling myself you'll be ok. The Spackle outside your tent won't let anyone in. Only Ben, , the Sky, select healers and me. They sit outside and-I think they're praying. I'm scared, Todd. Please come back to me.
You thought of Manchee today. When you first got him and he was a puppy. And then when Aaron… That reminds me. Angharrad calls for you sometimes. I have to tell her that you're still just lying here, but that you'll be up soon.
Day Fourteen
Dear Todd,
Two weeks. The healers keep telling me not to worry. They keep putting more cream on your wound and refuse to use anything from the ship. I'm about to start my hundredth read of your mother's book. It's actually quite enjoyable. Every time I read it I'm reminded of you. Your innocence before we first met.
I have good news. The band on my arm is almost fully healed. Mistress Larson says that it can't be removed though. I'll be reminded everyday of the war and the what happened. But I've never felt this good in forever. There's just one problem. You're not here, Todd.
Day Sixteen
Dear Todd,
I cried today. You had the memory of being shot. The look on my face. I started crying and I couldn't stop. Ben ran in and had to take me out. For the first time in days. He said it wasn't good that I was with you for so long. That I was just making myself feel worse. So they sent me away. I went to another camp a few miles away. It's full with new settlers! Familiar faces. But I still miss seeing you. I'm not going to be back until the end of the week. You better be awake when I get back Todd Hewitt or else.
Day Eighteen
Dear Todd,
I'm back on cooking duty. I forgot to tell you. When I was taken to the Answer Mistress Coyle put me on cooking duty with Lee. Here it's not different. It's so hard. Because not much has changed. There is still a food shortage and now there are a hundred new mouths to feed. I wish you were here. You'd help me.
There's a few kids I remember going to school with back on the ship. Jessica, Thomas, Cole, Lacy, and Tess. They're all my age, except for Lacy who's two years older. They are all so ignorant and selfish. They complain to me about the food, the Spackle and especially the Noise. What am I suppose to say? Jessica yelled at her father just the other day because his noise was keeping her up at night. She'll calm down, hopefully.
Day Nineteen
Dear Todd,
A Spackle was murdered today, because it was stealing food for it's child. I have no idea who did it. But it's causing uneasiness in the community. Everyone is looking to me. You said to me once the under pressure I make the right decisions. But I'm still not sure. Sky and Ben are coming up to meet with me. How can I look Sky in the face? It would be so much easier if you were here. Because all my calls have been to protect you. But you're not here.
Day Twenty
Dear Todd,
Another Spackle was killed. This time the killer was caught. It was a man named Nathan Walker. He's a new settler. He claims that the Spackle are savages and must be exiled, for they have no place in this community. He was, of course, arrested, but that isn't calming the community. His ignorance is astounding!
You and I worked so hard for peace and I refuse to let it come apart now. I'm to stay here for another few days. I'm to give a big speech. What should I say?
Day Twenty-One
Dear Todd,
I want to be angry with them. After all their ignorance is the problem, but that will only cause more problems. Instead I will tell them about the good that the Spackle has done for us. How our ignorance and lack of understanding lead to war. How hard we worked. Yes. I hope it will work.
Ben and I decided that if things are to be truly equal humans and Spackle must both be held in court, and have a fair trail. No matter what. That's fair right. Equality? Damnit, you better wake up soon. Ben said you're unchanged but that he's been reading. He thinks you're being more active. Please Todd.
Day Twenty-Three
Dear Todd,
Things have settled down for now. Many people in the community don't mind the Spackle. In fact just this morning I saw a human child and a Spackle child playing together. That reminded me why I was doing what I was doing. For them. The future. But most of all, for you. Most of the people who don't like the Spackle have moved to other communities. Ones without Spackle.
Sky came back again. I looked at him for a second but then turned away. I'm still angry with him. He took you away from me. But he says something in his noise to me. It's not I'm sorry. He said My one in particular died. I know how you feel. Now thinking back I almost feel sorry for him. He knows how painful it is. I'm not giving up. I ain't.
Day Twenty-Five
Dear Todd,
Ben took me to see you today. Your burn is looking so much better. I sat down and started reading to you after I made sure you were ok. It was my favorite passage. One about your first noise. At the sound of my voice your noise stirred. I could hear my name. I could see myself in your head. I held your hand and said "I'm here." And then I began to read again.
Day Twenty-Six
Dear Todd,
You're so close. I can tell. Your noise doesn't stop as much anymore. Even if you're not thinking about distinct memories I can still hear that Hum. It's not a dangerous. My guess it's your subconscious waking up. Oh please.
Day Twenty-Seven
Dear Todd,
Please, please wake up. I can't look at you anymore. I can't or I'll start crying and I won't be able to stop. Please wake up.
I'm leaving again soon. I'm going to another community. This ones further away. But that's never stopped me. I'm hoping that you'll wake up. Please. When I come back you better be awake.
Day Twenty-Nine
Dear Todd,
I hate this community. I hate it so much. It's a community solely for children. There are teachers here who are still trying to teach the old way. There are children who still pretend that they are on the ship. I'm suppose to teach them, too. But I'm not suppose to teach them about this world, but about "practical things" like literature. Worst of all I can hear the studnets noise. The boys. Talking behind my back. It's disgusting, let's just say. They have no respect. No control. I went to the headmaster and asked him if we could start a class for control of Noise. He shot me down. He said that it will come with age and maturity. We will see.
Day Thirty
Dear Todd,
Things aren't getting better here. I want to leave. I want to go back to you. Maybe you'll come to me.
Day Thirty-One
Dear Todd,
Lee arrived today. I'm so happy to have some company. Someone I trust. I wish it were you though. And I think Lee knows that.
Day Thirty-Two
Dear Todd,
You're alive. You're alive. I'm on my way Todd. I'm on my way to you. Almost there. Hold on.