In the suburbs of Sakurami City, down the street from a school and several blocks from where the city became decidedly more urban and less suburban, stood a tree.

It wasn't a particularly unusual or striking tree. There was another tree on each side of it, and others beyond them, all sticking out of little circular gaps in the concrete, and each tree had a twin on the other side of the street, directly across from it. They were the sort of trees that had been planted an awfully long time ago with little supportive posts put in with the tiny saplings, in the hope that they would brighten up the neighborhood, and had now grown so much that they were warping and tearing up the pavement, tripping those who were unfamiliar with the area. There were not many differences between the trees, or not that you could tell from walking by one. This tree just happened to contain Hirasaka Yomotsu and one extremely upset cat.

"Do you see him?" called a small boy from the ground.

"In a manner of speaking." Yomotsu could hear the cat rustling leaves somewhere to his left. He reached into the branches in that direction and hastily pulled it back when the cat lashed out at him.

"Oh, well, I meant— " Yomotsu didn't hear the rest, as he chose that moment to throw caution to the wind and leap towards the cat. He managed to secure the fluffy animal in his arms and get hit in the stomach by a conveniently placed bough before dropping to the ground in what he imagined was a very ungraceful manner.

"Mr. Whiskers!" The child pulled the distressed feline from his arms. "Thank you!"

"It was nothing. Just doing my part for society." Yomotsu stood up, brushing cat hair off of himself and wincing at his new bruises.

"Have a good day, sir!"

"You too." There was a steady pattering of footsteps as the boy ran off. Yomotsu turned the exact opposite direction from the sound and walked away on the sidewalk. He searched for something his pocket, and stopped moving. Maybe he'd dropped it? He turned back around, careful to turn a full 180 degrees and not past that. He bent down to search the ground when someone spoke directly in front of him.

"Here you are. I have it here," said a girl's voice. He turned to her and held out his hand, but she held on to whatever she had found.

"Are you Hirasaka Yomotsu?"

"Yes."

"Ah. It was rather hard to tell." There was a click as she pressed the play button – so she had found the tape recorder. Yomotsu's own voice began retelling the day's events.

Except he wasn't hearing a retelling. And he had no recollection of recording the entries that were being played.

"16:05 – After rescuing the cat, I met someone named Murumuru. She asked— " There was another click as the girl stopped the tape.

"That's my name," she told him.

"How did you get that to be in my voice?" He wasn't entirely sure whether he should be impressed or freaking out.

"It's been upgraded. You will be participating in a game eleven other contestants."

"Hmm."

"Your diary can now predict up to ninety days into the future. You will use this to collect information about the other contestants."

"I see…"

Murumuru's tone was aggravated. "Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm listening," he reassured her. "I'm good at listening."

"Well, would you mind taking the paper bag off of your head? I can't really tell if you're paying attention or not."

"But I am!"

"Well, yes, but I'd prefer it if I could actually see your face."

Yomotsu saw no reason for this. What was the point of being able to see someone's face anyway, when one could get things done just as easily without bothering?

"I would prefer not to show my face," he said politely. "I am in the habit of never showing my face to anyone."

"And why is that?" Murumuru sounds somewhat impatient.

"It gives others an unfair advantage. They can recognize me more easily then I can recognize them. It's much more fair this way."

"I'm a supernatural being," she pointed out. "I can recognize you with or without knowing what your face looks like."

Yomotsu considered this.

"You couldn't earlier. Thus, the level playing field is maintained."

Murumuru made a sort of annoyed noise, and before Yomotsu had noticed it, a breeze was touching his face. He reached up and touched his quite bare face.

"Much better."

"How did you do that?" He was starting to feel quite alarmed.

"I just stuck the paper bag into the Hall of Cause and Effect in such a way that it no longer exists here."

"Really."

"Yup."

There was a pause.

"You know," said Murumuru thoughtfully. "You look oddly familiar, Twelfth. Have you ever been in any movies?"

"No." Yomotsu reached into his left pocket, pulling out a fresh bag. "But I get that a lot."

Fin~

Disclaimer and Author's Notes

All characters belong to Esuno Sakae with the exception of random little kid and Mr. Whiskers. You get the drift.

I would be interested to know at what point most people realize that this is about the Twelfth and not some OC. I doubt that most people know the Twelfth's name, after all. I certainly didn't - I had to go look it up. :P

This is fic written in association with the First Future Diary Fanfiction Contest. It's just something light, silly, and directionless. Actually, I guess it did have a direction. Does a punchline count as a direction?