I own nothing. Except an OC that I came up with for summer. The title is from a song called "The Gathering Darkness" by BT. It's not a dark tune, despite the ominous name. Regardless, I don't own that either. As for the fic, there will be little to no mention of politics, but expect a lot of randomness. Also, go Team USA and Team Canada in the Olympics!
With a yawn, Alfred wakes up from his deep sleep. Getting out of his bed and quickly changing into jeans and a t-shirt, he looks at his clock. It is midmorning and he has no idea what he'll do today. Running down the stairs and into his kitchen, he decides to make himself some brunch. Taking a beef patty and placing it on a skillet and some bacon on a pan and eggs on another, he begins to cook. In about a half hour, he is done cooking those and gets some buns to put it on as well as some cheese and lettuce. He then makes about 5 more before he is satisfied (actually he ran out of ingredients) and eats them all within 5 minutes.
Al lets out a huge burp, which is interrupted by a knock on his door. Going over to the door, he opens it and is surprised to see his boss, President Obama on the front steps of his home.
"Oh hey bossman, what's up?" Al asks.
"Well America, I'm here to see if you'd like to come on the campaign trail with me," President Obama says.
"Ah, well, you don't have to call me America bossman. We're not at an official function so just call me Al!"
President Obama shifts uncomfortably. He's really only use to seeing America during an official function and even when he's over at the White House, he still gets called America.
"Yes, well Al. Would you like to campaign with me? There are quite a lot of speeches and people need to know what policies I stand for. Such as blah blah blah."
Al's mind wanders as soon as his boss starts talking about politics. He starts thinking on how he's going to spend his day, before this train of thought is interrupted by another voice.
"Oh hello America. I didn't realize you already had company," says the Republican Presidential Candidate Romney as he looks at President Obama.
The two stare at each other for a few minutes until President Obama asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see if America wants to come out and campaign with me," he replies.
"That's what I'm here for and he's going to campaign with me," President Obama coolly says.
"Did he actually say that he wanted to campaign with you? For all you know, he may want to do so with me instead," Republican Presidential Candidate Romney frigidly responds.
Seeing that this could get bad as the campaign season is already heated enough as it is, Al decides this is a great time to step in.
"Yo dudes, any colder and the next ice age will begin on my doorstep. That is so not awesome!" Al says to the two.
"Besides, I don't wanna go campaigning. It's a headache and I don't want to influence people by me being there with one of you guys. That and you both can be cool and stuff too!"
Both President Obama and Republican Presidential Candidate Romney are taken aback. "So, what are you going to do today then?" President Obama asks.
"Well dudes, I want you two to hang out with me for the day," Al simply says.
"But we have campaigns to run, people to see, and other things that need to be done," Republican Presidential Candidate Romney says.
"I agree with Romney, there's quite a lot that both of us have to attend to," President Obama says.
"Too bad, I've decided and I won't take no for an answer!" Al says, with a smile on his face. He then pulls the two into his house and slams the door shut before either could recover.
"Oh, and since you're here, no need to be so formal," Al says, still smiling. Out of thin air, the words President and Republican Presidential Candidate pop into existence and Al takes them and places them in an envelope. He then proceeds to put it in a safe and lock it.
"We'll go by our first names. No calling me America, I'm Al."
Both Barack and Mitt look at each other. What had they gotten themselves into?
Meanwhile, Al stands there proudly, which leads Mitt to ask, "How did you do that exactly? Seriously, I can't even think of what Barack's position in government is anymore."
"Um, I don't know exactly. It just kind of happened. Hey, it must be due to my totally heroic aura!" Al says and throws in a fist pump.
The two just stare at him, wondering if he's going to do something else that should be impossible-or if their country was going insane and this was a symptom of it.
"So, Al," Barack starts, "Are you feeling alright?"
"Yep! I'm totally fine guys. Now let's go watch a movie!" Al says as he runs off to his basement, where all his movies, videogames and other electronics are.
Barack looks over at Mitt, "Hey Mitt?"
"Yes?" he responds.
"Have you ever been with Al when he watches a scary movie?" Barack asks.
Mitt looks at him quizzically. "No I haven't. Is there something I should be aware of?"
"You'll find out soon enough," Barack cryptically says.
"Hey dudes! We'll watch the movies down here," Al says as he sticks his head out from the basement door. Mitt continues to wonder about what Barack said.
He didn't have to wait long enough to find out, as he is currently being held onto like a stuffed animal, while Al shrieks in horror. As for Barack, he's holding a bowl of popcorn and watching the movie, with a smirk on his face.
"A-Al! My spine!" Mitt yells out.
"Oh! Sorry dude!" Al regretfully says and lets go of him.
"Hey Barack?" Mitt asks.
"Yeah?"
"Where the hell did you get the popcorn from?"
"Oh, well you and Al were a little busy so I went and made some myself," Barack replies.
Mitt gives him an annoyed look, which turns into a smile as Al freaks out to the ghost on TV and grabs onto Barack, resulting in the popcorn bowl landing upside down and on his head. Popcorn is everywhere. Mitt grabs onto a few that landed on him and eats them.
"Hey Barack," Mitt states.
"What?" Barack huffs as Al is still clinging onto him.
"You make some good popcorn."
After that movie was finished (and after Al finally let go of Barack) the three return to the upstairs. Suddenly, a window flies open due to a gust of wind, making Al scream like a little girl. Both Barack and Mitt didn't think Al's voice could reach such a high decibel, and both couldn't help but snicker. However, a gorgeous bald eagle flew into the house and landed on a chair in the kitchen. It had two feathers on its head that stuck up like horns.
"That's something you don't see every day," Mitt says in awe.
"Indeed and it's a rather lovely bird too," Barack says, sharing in the awe.
Al calms down after realizing what it was and went to get a couple of salmon for it. Returning from the freezer, he lays down three large salmon on the table in front of it. The eagle makes short work of the fish and lets out a noise that made it sound more like a song bird and not an eagle.
"Wait, I thought bald eagles have that fierce cry," Barack says, curious to know if that's true.
"Actually, I think they just use the Red Tailed Hawk's cry in the media," Mitt says, looking thoughtful.
"Yep! Bald Eagles don't tend to sound so badass, but Red Tails do!" Al says."But this lady here is a special eagle. I call her Liberty!"
"What's so special about this eagle?" Mitt asks curiously as Barack nods in agreement.
"Well, Liberty's always been there for me. I didn't realize it at first though," Al starts.
"During the Revolutionary War, Iggy had me on ropes on Long Island. I was with George at the time and it all looked bleak. But then! A fog came out of nowhere, allowing for the Continental Army to escape to fight another day!"
"But how does it have to do with that eagle?" Barack asks.
"I'm getting to that! Anyway, late in war, Iggy and his dudes tried to stage a comeback. It was late in the season and getting into fall. Iggy had one of his chief dudes try to catch up with him by evacuating his peeps by boat. The plan was for them to join back with Iggy in New York. But, a terrible thunderstorm popped up, resulting in Iggy's dudes being blown downstream where Francis and his guys were. It totally helped end the war in my favor," Al continues.
"I fail to see where the eagle comes in," Mitt says.
Al gives the two an irritated glare, making Mitt and Barack look like two kicked puppies. Al sighs.
"Ok, that was a little harsh. But its rude to interrupt you know! Especially since I'm telling the tale of the hero's helper! Anyway, so I figure that I'm lucky by this point in time. I'm my own country and dealing with my own problems for a change. Then Iggy decides to start with me again. So to make a long story short, I made some mistakes attacking my bro and Iggy came down hard on me for it. He scorched the Niagara Frontier and really started beating me up. Then he came to DC and burned the White House and several other buildings. I thought it was going to be the end for me."
"Wait, wasn't there a storm or something of that nature that saved the day?" Barack asks.
Al nods, "Yes! Iggy was paying too much attention to punishing me that he wasn't aware of his surroundings. The sky darkened, and a terrible thunderstorm took place. Iggy thought it was a regular thunderstorm, but boy you should have seen the look on his face when that tornado occurred. It was even better when the tornado went right to where his guys were too. It chased him out of DC!"
Al lets out a laugh, "I think the best part was him finding out that some of his ships were smashed by that storm too. I could hear the swearing from where I was. Anyway, after the tornado, there was a lot of rain and it put out the fires that Iggy had set. By this point in time, I can't help but feel like I've been protected at some critical moments. Soon after, I've got various tribe personifications knocking on my door and telling me the nature of whatever was protecting me and how it acts and all that. They called her the thunderbird. When I first saw her, I called her Liberty and she's been welcome in my house since."
"But it can't be all good right? I'm sure she's hurt you at times as well," Mitt says.
"Yeah, but that's because Liberty is a force of nature. Sometimes she'll hurt me with tornadoes, winds and hail, while other times she'll relieve a drought," Al states calmly. "But I can't forget that she has helped me become independent."
"I'm not convinced that she's the thunderbird though," Barack says.
This is promptly answered by Liberty opening her beak and the noise that came out was that of thunder.
Both Barack and Mitt are shocked by this. "Well, I've been proven wrong it seems," Barack says.
"Can I hold her or something?" Mitt asks Al, his eyes transfixed on the bird.
"Only if she wants ya to! I find Liberty tends to come to you, not the other way around," says Al.
The eagle chirps before she flies out the window.
With the two distracted, Al goes into another room and then brings out a stuffed Orca. He holds onto it proudly, before shoving it into Barack's face.
"Kiss it!" Al happily yells.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mitt asks for Barack, since Barack at this point in time is only able to give a muffled response.
Al removes the whale from Barack's face, before shoving it into Mitt's face. Barack is too stunned to say anything about what just happened. After about the same amount of time, he removes it from Mitt's face.
Barack, having recovered, asks, "What was that about?"
Al holds the whale under his arm and looks thoughtful, "Well, it's my lucky whale."
"Lucky whale? What happened to your whale friend anyway?" Barack asks.
"Whale wanted to go see his friends, so I let him. I'll go to pick him back up in a month or two," Al states. "And Kiku gave this sweet stuffed animal as a present a week ago!"
"Wait! You have an actual whale? So, what makes the stuffed one lucky exactly?" Mitt asks, while Barack stands there pondering the possible answer.
"Um, nothing really."
"Then why is it-Barack, I should stop asking questions, shouldn't I?" Mitt asks.
"If you become uh, well you know the word, you get to deal with this all the time. After the first year it's not so bad and you come to expect it," Barack responds.
"Really?"
"Yes, one day you're in the White House, finally away from reporters and Congressmen, next thing you know, Al's in there running around chasing squirrels that he let in to begin with."
"Well, that's unexpected."
"Oh I have many stories on what he does sometimes. One day I'll probably tell you all of them."
Al stands there, looking a little miffed, until an idea pops into his head.
"Oh oh oh!" Let's go to the Cessna!" Al suddenly proclaims as he throws the stuffed whale back into the room it came from.
"You have an airfield here?" Mitt asks.
"Yes he does, it's practically his backyard. You should hear the complaints of the people in the area when he tried to bring a F-22 out here," Barack says. "I had to hear about it for weeks!"
So, Al leads Mitt and Barack out to his airfield, which is very simple in nature. There's one airstrip and two hangars, with a forest surrounding it, but kept a manageable distance from the airfield. The end of the runway though is clear of any trees. On the airstrip itself is the Cessna. Al goes over to it while Barack and Mitt remain behind, looking at the surrounding forest.
"Hey dudes!" Al calls over, "The plane's ready!"
Mitt and Barack both look over to Al, but decide to stay there, considering how the day has been so far. Al starts to walk back and the two hear familiar chirping. They look to one of the trees, and there's Liberty, staring right at them. After a bit, the chirping almost sounds like laughing.
"Is she laughing at us?" Barack asks Mitt.
"It sounds like it. For such a noble looking creature, she can be a bit of an ass," Mitt says.
He then is promptly struck by lightning and falls to the ground. Barack looks on in horror and takes off for the plane while screaming like a little girl. His screams could rival Al's! Al gets to where Mitt is and helps him up.
"Hey, I think she likes you!" Al beams.
Mitt is disoriented and Al helps him toward the aircraft. When they get to the aircraft, both find Barack had claimed shotgun. Mitt is disappointed as he climbs into the plane and takes his place sitting behind Al.
"Aw, you got shotgun," he says.
"Yes. I got here first and I'm currently Al's boss. So there!" Barack then sticks out his tongue.
"Did you honestly just do that?" Mitt asks, more disturbed by the action than offended.
Barack nods, "I wanted to do something childish today."
"Oh, well then. I think you pulled it off rather well," Mitt gives an approving look.
"You approve of that?"
"Barack, I just was struck by lightning a little while ago by a thunder chicken. You sticking out your tongue is an improvement."
"Ah. Hey, are you doing alright? You don't need to see a doctor or anything?" Barack asks; concern evident.
Mitt lets out a few coughs and smiles, "I think I'll be fine. I can still get up and all that. However, I do appreciate the concern."
Al interrupts, "Hey, are you both strapped in?" Cause I want to take off!"
Barack and Mitt make sure that they're strapped in as Al starts the aircraft and takes off. He does some circles around the airfield before taking off to DC.
"Al, you do have clearance to go flying there right?" Barack asks suspiciously.
"What? Oh no dude! I want to race some F-16s today!" Al says excitedly.
"Al!" Barack and Mitt yell at the same time.
"I'm kidding. Air Traffic Control knows we'll being flying around. I even told the dudes at the Pentagon too! Man, I should've had a camera! The expressions on your faces were priceless!"
Both Mitt and Barack have a rather sour look on their faces, but Al doesn't notice. He continues to fly around the city of DC. He flies over by the White House and the National Mall. Then there's the Zoo, the Pentagon and Arlington National Cemetery. The two are in awe at the view of the city. Then Al flies the plane back to his house, but doesn't land it yet. Looking over at his guests and how relaxed they are, he decides to shake things up a bit. He starts doing a few barrel rolls, which gets the attention of the two. He then proceeds to do a loop.
"Al! What are you doing?" Barack asks, scared for his life and despite being strapped in, was holding onto his seat. Meanwhile, Mitt found a random pillow (it hit him in the face during the barrel rolls) and was holding onto it while the loop was taking place.
"Mitt?"
"Yeah Barack?"
"I think Al's trying to kill us."
"How'd you ever get to that conclusion?"
Al is laughing the entire time and enjoying himself as this takes place. Finally, he stops and lands back on his airfield. Barack and Mitt waste no time in getting out of the plane, but are definitely shaken up.
"You were trying to kill us!" Barack says angrily.
"Nope, just screwing with you two!" Al proudly says. "Besides, I can't kill you guys anyway. Not directly at least."
Barack and Mitt have horrified looks. Al does take note of this and clarifies.
"Nations can't directly kill their leaders and other government officials. However, if the leader is really bad, the nation can kill them indirectly by twisting an order," Al states.
"Has a nation done that?" Mitt asks.
"Yes. There's one that did so in fairly recent memory," Al responds.
"Fairly recent?" Barack asks, intrigued as to who this could have been.
"Back in the 1950s was when it occurred. Actually, Mitt, you were a kid back then. You should know who it was," Al calmly states.
After a minute of thinking, a light bulb goes off in Mitt's head and he nods in agreement. He whispers to Barack who it was, and suddenly, it made sense.
"Anyway dudes, that's kind of depressing. I wanna go do something fun!" Al yells enthusiastically.
He grabs the two and takes them back down to his basement.
"Oh, we are not watching another horror movie," Barack says.
Al ignores the comment as he rummages through his videogames, until he finds one that he likes. "Okay dudes! I want you to play this game!"
He holds up Super Smash Bros Brawl and then drags his Wii out of a storage cabinet. After getting it all set up and turned on, he puts the game disk into the system and selects it using a Wii remote. He gives the one Wii remote to Barack and the other to Mitt and motions for them to sit on the couch. Barack and Mitt both try to figure out the buttons and aren't too bad at figuring out how to select things. Barack chooses Sonic and Mitt chooses Pikachu.
The two then go at it on the Frigate Orpheon stage-by which they're still figuring out the controls and doing random things as a result. Oh, and falling off the stage. They aren't really able to fight against each other and instead die from falling off or when the stage flips. The next stage is the Bridge of Eldin. This time, the two are able to at least figure some things out (like how to jump). They still die a few times from falling off the stage due to the bridge being destroyed (Barack let out a wtf when King Bulblin came across the screen and dropped the bomb) but at least are able to kill each other a few times.
Watching this, Al decides to suggest something. "Hey, dudes! Why don't you both team up and fight the computer? Or you can fight me!"
After a minute of thought, Barack asks Mitt, "Would you like to team up with me and we can fight Al together?"
Without hesitation, Mitt replies, "Yes! I think that we have a shot!"
So, Al gets another Wii remote and chooses to be Link. Needless to say, he wipes the floor with both Mitt and Barack for the next 5 stages. This depresses the two-at least until Mitt hatches an idea.
Turning to Barack, he says, "Hey, there's this weird ball thing that floats around the stage that Al gets and it gives him a special move. How about I distract him when it occurs so you can get it?"
Barack thinks it over for a minute, "Ok, I like this plan."
"It's kind of the only plan we have right now…" Mitt says and Barack shrugs.
They play stock this round instead of time, and towards the last few lives that the two have, the Smash Ball appears. Mitt, as Pikachu gets in Al's way and fights him, mainly by throwing everything he could find, like pokeballs, fans and other objects. Al still gets to Mitt and takes his last life away, by throwing one of Link's bombs. However, the plan was a success and Barack, as Sonic, activates his smash move, flying around the stage as Super Sonic and hits Link, sending him flying off screen. Barack is unable to stay in control of Super Sonic and flies out of the field then he dies. Al still wins, but Mitt and Barack are pleased by the success of their plan.
The two give each other a high five and start going on about how awesome that was. Al gets hungry and suggests that they get pizza. The two don't take more than 5 seconds to agree to the plan as they were still riding on the high. They continue to play as they wait for 10 pizzas to arrive.
There's a knock on the door and Al goes to get it. He returns to the basement with the 10 pizzas and a 24 pack of pop. The three quit playing and start to feast upon the pizzas, at least until they're interrupted by an unknown voice.
"So this is where you've been all day!"
The three hear someone descending down the stairs. Actually, make it two people. Out steps Michelle and Ann.
"You both are supposed to be out campaigning and here you are filling your faces with junk food!" Michelle says disapprovingly.
"And you didn't call anyone to let them know where you were either!" Ann says angrily.
Seeing a potentially bad situation, Al speaks up, "Aww come on ladies. There's enough pizza for everyone. Besides, you rarely eat any sort of junk food. It's good for the soul!"
He hands the two women some pizza slices and gives them the puppy dog look. They think it over, and decide that they may as well enjoy themselves.
Al, being that he knows about the First Lady's policy towards fitness, digs out his Xbox360 and Kinect, along with the game Dance Evolution. After the feast of pizzas, he sets that up.
"Ok! So dudes and dudettes, this game has you moving around to play it. It'll help burn calories and all those other things you guys worry about!"
"Well America, I'm impressed. I was under the impression that you just sat around eating sweets and playing videogames," Michelle says approvingly.
"Honey, he wants us to call him Al while we're here," Barack says.
"Oh my! I'm sorry!" she says, embarrassed.
Al laughs, "Don't worry about it!"
"So then, who's first to play?" Mitt asks.
"I think we should let Barack and Michelle go first," Ann says.
Barack and Michelle get up and get into position.
"You ready Michelle?" he asks.
"Of course I'm ready! Let's dance this place into the ground! I'm going to beat this game!" Michelle yells, way too enthusiastically and with a fist pump to boot!
Everyone gives her a strange look and backs away, for about 5 minutes. Barack moves back into position and they begin to play. Every few songs they'd switch with Mitt and Ann and this continues for the next few hours. On occasion, Barack or Mitt would stumble or fall a bit, to the amusement of everyone else. Al is forced by Michelle to play a few rounds with her as well, as he was just sitting down watching them play.
Finally, after everything, everyone passes out in Al's basement and no one wakes up until the late morning. Actually, it is just Al, Barack and Mitt that wake up late. After having to make a run to the store, the ladies make brunch. They make some eggs, bacon, toast and others. They did make sure to include fruit as well. When the guys wake up, they head upstairs to find brunch ready for them, as Michelle and Ann had just finished making it all.
Everyone sits down to eat in Al's kitchen and it is all delicious.
"Thank you for the food," Al says to the two.
"No problem Al, it was actually rather fun to do so! Plus, Michelle and I exchanged some recipes in the process," Ann says.
"Last night was fun and that dancing game you have is something else. Barack! We're going to get that game for Malia and Sasha!" Michelle says and Barack nods in agreement.
"You know, I kind of like this. Us being here together and we're not trying to shove politics down each other's throats," Mitt states.
Everyone looks thoughtful.
"Maybe after the election, we could all come back here and just hang out. You know, enjoy each other's company?" Barack asks, specifically to Al.
Al shrugs. "Yes, I think it would good. Oh you can bring Joe too! He's such a riot to prank!"
His comment is met with laughter. Al then looks around with a smirk on his face.
"Food fight!" he says as he throws some bacon at Barack and some toast at Mitt. The two return fire, while Michelle and Ann look on with some disgust. Michelle looks at Ann, and she returns a shrug and then picks up some eggs and throws it at Al. Michelle smirks and picks up some grapes and throws them at the guys. This continues for the next hour.
With the food fight over, it is time to say goodbye.
"Do you want help with cleaning up your kitchen?" Ann asks.
"It's not a problem if we stay since we did make that mess too," Michelle says.
Barack and Mitt look a little awkward, but also offer to help.
"Nah, it's cool. Besides, you all have things to do," Al states.
"Oh and Al? Could you give us our titles back?" Barack asks.
"Oh sure thing bossman!" Al says as he goes back to the safe. "Uh, what was the combination again?"
"Al!" Mitt and Barack yell.
"Kidding, I'm kidding! Ok, so here we go!" Al says as he opens it. He takes the letter, opens it and the words President and Republican Presidential Candidate escape and poof into nothing.
"Thanks Al," President Obama says.
"I'll second that," says Republican Presidential Candidate Romney.
The four then leave Al's house, waving goodbye to Al as they got into their cars and left. Al waves back to them and then goes back into his house to clean up his kitchen.
"My totally heroic plan worked!"
A/N: Yes, those weather events did happen in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812. I found those out from putting in weather that changed American History in google. One of the sites to pop up is the almanac. That was for the Revolutionary War. For the War of 1812, that came from a military source (afweather), titled "Feature-A tornado that saved the city and defeated the enemy".
It's been a long time since I last played SSBB, so if I messed something up, sorry!
I've also never played with a Kinect or that game, so I had to look that up too.
Also, what Al is making in the beginning is a bacon egg cheeseburger, which I never heard of before until Quinn Fiberoptic told me about it. It still sounds good.
This is meant to be a humor fic, so hopefully no one has taken it seriously. This election year has been really ugly so far, and I want people to know that just because you don't agree with someone politically, it doesn't make them the devil. There are other parts to a human being besides politics.