Jack stood in the small office attached to the lecture hall adjusting his expensive and impeccable suit. The bright orange of the silk shirt contrasted sharply with the inky black of the tie and jacket and he looked like some stylish tech advert. He approved heartily of the look, especially when paired with his thin framed black glasses.
Normally he loathed them and wore contacts or simply went without. He looked way too fucking old with them on but today they gave him the look he needed. Older, but not too old, incredibly smart and most of all more successful than any of the poor saps attending this college could dream of being.
Jack flashed himself a smile in the reflection of a computer monitor, pointed to it and clicked his tongue. He'd dropped a few dollars on the administrators to get a guest lecture spot and if he could catch that one set of eyes that mattered (and he knew he would) it'd be a very sweet deal. Despite his confidence he wasn't about to be lazy.
First impressions mattered. He glanced down at his pocket watch. Ten minutes to go. Just outside the door he could hear students filing about, yaking to each other about this and that, bitching and moaning about their classes and grades.
He cracked his knuckles and stepped up to the door. A microphone was tapped, the ancient Dean cleared his throat and began Jack's introduction.
"Ladies and gentlemen we have a very special guest here to speak to you all today. He's the CEO and President of Hyperion Corporation and he's most generously agreed to speak to you all about a very practical matter. That is; success in your lives after you leave our hallowed halls. Why don't we give a warm welcome to our guest," the Dean paused; wishing he didn't have to use this poor excuse for a name, "Handsome Jack."
Surprisingly a very strong applause filled the room as jack stepped out and posed with arms crossed. The clapping was accompanied by more than a few whistles and whoops, to which he responded with blown kisses and winks.
All the while he scanned the audience for one face in particular; and found it. A wispy boy sat up near the middle of the hall; his faced frozen in a stunned look. He had sugary brown eyes and thin blonde hair but his face was remarkably similar to Jack's.
Jack locked eyes with him for a good long moment; lifted a brow at him and then sauntered up to the podium.
"Thank you MT University…" a girl screamed at him from the front rows, "'Sup?" he pointed to her and she screamed again, "That's a great welcome, wish I could get that all the time. But then again...I do."
Students laughed and Jack grinned. The boy's face was turning red and he mouth was still agape. Jack felt a small surge of blood to his groin and gripped the podium. 'Not now, save it for later...' he told himself. He took his eyes off the boy and focused on the room at large.
"I'm here to give you all some tips on making it big out there in the scary real world. Its not easy is it? I know that better than anyone, I've given blood, sweat and tears and more to get where I am."
Many female faces flushed at the insinuation.
"You want it all don't you? Money, fame, whoever and whatever you find attractive at your beck and call right?"
He opened his arms in a grand gesture. Some students leaned into him unable to resist his magnetic pull. His grin narrowed and his flashed with maliciousness.
"But the sad truth is most of you...all of you, won't get any of that." He put his arms down and adjusted his glasses.
"Most people are losers kiddos, they hit their stride here. Dreams are made here but they're nothing, absolutely nothing out there. Dreams and ambitions count for nothing unless...you make sacrifices."
The corners of his mouth twitched up at the sight of all those crestfallen faces. But he noticed a few of them get curious looks; they were listening intently to him now. He was very pleased to see the brown eyed boy was one of them.
"I had dreams too. They didn't include being a CEO. Don't get me wrong it's awesome being the biggest boss in the galaxy but I didn't start with that. I had something else in mind and made sacrifices to get closer. I sacrificed a lot, it may not look it and I sure hope it doesn't I pay my wardrobe and hair people enough for it…" another small laugh went through the room, " and I got what needed to get what I wanted."
"See kiddos, everything works in stages. You need one thing to get this other thing to get that thing. Complicated? Uh-huh. Bullshit? Yeah. But its the way life works. If any of you make it I garun-goddamn-tee you you're going to be spending some of your best years shoveling shit for some really fucked up people. But...if you figure out how to claw your way over them, make sacrifices to get what you need, you'll get there."
Some students were squirming uncomfortably in their seats, the boy was one but he could not take his eyes off Jack.
"One last thing, about those crappy people you'll have to work for. People have prices, no exceptions. You all have prices," he swept his hand over the hall, "and its not always money. How many of you spent some time thinking about what you'd do to-" he was going to say 'fuck me' but he cleared his throat and cleaned it up for the Dean's sake, "spend the night with me? How many of you are still thinking about it? Figure out what people want, not even what they need. Its the want that'll get them to roll over and fetch for ya'. If you can do that you're way to the top has already been greased a bit."
He clapped his hands and rubbed them, his million dollar smile cracking his perfect lips again.
"I can tell you now that at least one person here will be applying everything I just told them today. I've got an eye out for them already. There's an opening, a very specific one for them in Hyperion. Lets see how gets it!"
He turned and quickly exited the stage, slamming the door behind him and trying not to burst out laughing as the poor Dean was nearly trampled by students trying to get to Jack. The attached office had an extra exit that wound through faculty offices and Jack snuck out that way.
He then made a beeline for the C dorms about five minutes walk away. He entered like a King to his castle and planted himself in one of the lounge chairs, grabbing a newspaper and holding it just high enough to obstruct his face but so he could also keep an eagle eye on the door. His quarry was not long in coming.
Timothy Lawrence entered rubbing the back of his neck, clearly still mulling over what his guest lecturer had said. Jack rose out of his chair and put the paper down; stealthily making his way down the opposite hall of the building, designed in an O around a central courtyard, to the far staircase. He got there miles ahead of Timmy and struck a relaxed pose up on top of the stairs. When Timmy entered he leapt up three steps before noticing Jack.
Under the older man's intense gaze he felt like a field mouse watching a hawk swoop down. Jack smiled and pushed glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"Hello there." he said, his voice already husky.
Timmy gulped and stuttered.
"Uh...h-hi. I-i-...I"
"I know your name cupcake." Jack said smooth as silk. Timmy shuddered and his eyes went wide as dinner plates and he rubbed his soaking palms on his jeans.
"But say it for me won't you?" Jack made his voice a little sweeter and Timmy seemed to take better to that.
"I'm Timothy Lawrence."
"Em-hmm. But what do people call you kitten?"
Timmy shot the man a look. He wasn't really liking the borderline romantic pet names.
"Timmy. Or poindexter; or lame-o, or dumbass, or lardass, lots of ass names. Kinda just take your pick."
"Awe," Jack pouted and he was very pleased to see Timmy liked the expression. He started descending towards him. "That's just not any way to treat a person now is it?"
He came right up to Timmy and ghosted a fingertip along the boy's jaw line; making him shiver despite himself.
"You hungry?" Jack asked. Timmy gulped again but nodded.
"Lets go up to your room and I'll order us a pizza or something. I wanna talk to you in private Timmy." He wrinkled his nose saying 'Timmy'. "Blegh, doesn't suit you kiddo. I'll have to think of something better."
"Like what?" Timmy half protested, following Jack up to the top floor and not truly bothering to think about what he was doing. He did think about when he closed the door behind them and Jack inspected his most intimate space. Timmy collected the pulp art of old science fiction and mystery novels, along with stylized fantasy art. Jack was pleased to see he had decent taste. Not much in the way of scantily clad or about-to-be-eaten damsels, but lots of iconic heroes and heroines in dramatic poses and scenes.
One in particular of Flash Gordon drew his interest. The hero was poses on top of some planet's mountain looking stoic and defiant, blaster in hand.
"I like you decor choice." Jack turned and smiled rather softly at Timmy who had squeezed himself into a corner by his bookshelves.
"That's a big library." Jack commented. The cheap plastic and plywood shelves were bending beneath the weight of hundreds of books. Nearly all were fiction and included everything from penny dreadfuls to the great classics.
There were still more books piled and scattered around along with heaps of papers and notebooks.
"Not into the whole electronic movement are we?" Timmy finally spoke up at that comment.
"I like the smell of books, and they're more satisfying to read for me. I have a tablet." he gestured to the big tech toy lying on the bed, "and I work and read on it too but I still like to do my loosest stuff on paper…"
Timmy suddenly thought he was making no sense and drifted off, avoiding Jack's burning blue green gaze.
Jack headed for the bed and picked up Timmy's tablet, then plunked himself down and patted the space next to him.
"C'mere."
Timmy drew back a bit and Jack looked pointedly over his glasses.
"Now." he voice was dangerous and Timmy complied.
Once his little companion was comfortably seated next to him Jack handed Tim the tablet.
"Go online and order us something. My treat. But maybe not pizza, just realized I have a hankering for something more...exotic."
Timmy squeaked 'Ok' and looked up the nearest Chinese restaurant. With some prodding from Jack 'You gotta learn to enjoy the finer things in life kiddo.' he ended up ordering roast duck, some Phoenix and Dragon along with fried and white rice. His mouth watered a bit once the order went through. He'd been eating tuna from cans for the past couple of days.
"I just realized we need something to drink with all that."
Jack took out his phone and Timmy dove off the bed to reach the tiny fridge on the floor.
"I have some pops in here."
"No pumpkin, booze." Jack smiled at him in a way that reminded him of his mother's 'don't be stupid' looks.
"We need some good wine." his phone chirped and too Timmy's surprise it was only minutes later one of Jack's Hyperion employees brought him two bottles of red and two glasses.
"Shall we get started?"
He waved one of the bottles at Timmy.
"On what? I still don't know why you're even here you said you wanted to ta-"
"I'll explain. But I don't like to mix business and pleasure so pleasure first pumpkin, then we'll get down to work."
Jack pulled out a pocket knife and uncorked the bottle. He filled a glass and motioned for Timmy to join him again since he was still on the floor. Timmy did not drink; and he really didn't want any wine but he got the feeling he should not turn the glass down.
He sat a couple of feet away from Jack and accepted the glass; trying a tiny sip and fighting the urge to make a face. It was bitter and sour and burned bad. Jack savored it like it was ambrosia. His odd guest chatted rather politely with him, though nearly every sentence was laced with some double entendre.
When their dinner arrived Jack accepted it and gave the deliverer a hefty tip and set about trying to make a decent spread on Timmy's sad little full size bed.
"Get up and take the covers off." Timmy followed his order. Jack was amused to see his dinner companion was as big an eater as he had remembered. He was disappointed with the food, the duck was too dry, the rice was nearly undercooked, and the Dragon and Phoenix which was normally his favorite was flavorless and plastic like. Timmy didn't seem to mind any of that. He looked very cute when he finally finished and leaned back against the wall, his hand on his stomach.
He looked like a well fed baby animal of some kind, small, fluffy and happy. The sun had gone down and the few lamps in the room gave an uneven light. Jack took another sip of wine and never took his blue green gaze off Timmy.
"You wanna know why I'm here now?" Jack said slowly, setting down his glass and boxing up their dinner.
"Yeah." Timmy said, leaning up to grab a box.
"You sit back pumpkin." Jack waved him away, "My treat, remember?"
"You want something from me?" Timmy asked.
Jack felt a small swell of pride. He tapped his nose and grinned at Timmy.
"Nail on the head kiddo. You were listening."
"That whole speech was a little grim."
"Maybe to you, it happens to be the truth. You're right, I want something. Can you guess what?"
"I'm a literature major, maybe you want me to ghost write something."
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Not even close. Try harder."
"But there's not really anything I can…" Jack crawled onto the bed on all floors and stalked up to Timmy on the other end.
"Oh there's plenty you can do."
He stopped just as his nose nearly touched Timmy's, then leaned up and slowly maneuvered to straddle his lap. He fisted his hands in Timmy' shirt and his poor companion was caught in an unending stutter.
"I-I-I-I" Timmy violently cleared his throat and closed his for a second, then looked up at Jack with daggers in his eyes. "I don't wanna be some boy toy concubine! Is that what you want? Go somewhere else!"
Jack gave him an inscrutable look for a moment, then grinned even wider.
"Oh kitten, no I don't don't want a 'concubine' as you so colorfully put it, on my pay roll. No today I'm looking for a body double."
"Huh? Then why-" Jack shushed him and put a finger to his lips.
"I wanna fuck you cause I like you sweet thing, sound nice huh?"
Timmy's jaw dropped open and Jack slipped his finger in. Jack moaned quietly at the hot slick feeling and felt Timmy tremble beneath him. He reached out with his free hand and twined his fingers in Timmy's trying to give him a small amount of comfort. He thought he was being too soft core but he had to remind himself Timmy was still inexperienced.
His company responded lightly to the touch but still pushed Jack's finger out of his mouth. Before he could speak Jack leant down and caught his lips. He felt Timmy inhale sharply but Jack kept the kiss up. One of Timmy's hands came up and ghosted along the his mask, feeling the hinges and the edge of the skin like material.
Jack hummed against his lips and he felt Timmy give another shiver. Jack pulled back just enough to speak.
"You wanted to do that a while huh?"
"Maybe…" Timmy began to sound a little more confident and calm, lust was beginning to take over.
"Its not coming off bucko." Jack snarled a tad and kissed him briefly again, Timmy just nodded.
"S'okay." he murmured.
Jack deepened their kiss and Timmy melted beneath him as he explored his mouth. Jack planted himself in Timmy's lap and spent several long minutes running his hands up and down his body and plundering his mouth. Timmy laced his arms around Jack's shoulders and moaned frequently into Jack's mouth; stoking the fires even more.
Jack grunted and tossed Timmy down onto the mattress and laid on top of him, breaking the kiss and leaning up to stare Timmy down, almost daintily pushing his glasses back up his nose. He watched Timmy swallow hard and felt a twitch from his groin and his million dollar smile came back to his face.
Timmy smiled sheepishly in response.
"You like this huh kitten?"
Timmy nodded and gingerly placed a hand on Jack's chest. Jack sat up again, perfectly placed between Timmy's legs and pushed his hand down to his already hot and throbbing member. A little fear came into Timmy's again but it faded as Jack moaned like an A-list porn star.
"That's the stuff babe, that's the stuff."
Timmy bit his lip and kept rubbing Jack up; suddenly Jack began tearing off his expensive suit. Timmy could not look away as Jack shed his layers till he was bare chested, the silken jacket and shirt lying crumpled on Timmy's less than pristine floor.
"Um..lemme hang those up or something."
"Kitten, clothes like that are a dime a dozen for me." Jack leaned back down and bopped his nose.
"You are not."
A bright crimson blush came to Timmy's cheeks.
"Lots of people might not agree with that."
Jack scoffed and pulled him up enough to take off his old cotton button up and ran his hands over Timmy' scrawny chest.
"Remember how I said most people are losers? There's a good example. No eye for quality. A little detail I left out of that lecture."
He bent over and ran his tongue over Timmy's nipple, the boy gasped and arched his back up. Jack nipped it lightly, still smiling even as he pleasured his companion.
"Delicious." he moaned against Timmy's chest. Timmy sucked his bottom lip trying desperately not to make too much noise.
Jack teased for a long time; and despite his best efforts he slowly became louder. When he let loose a particularly slutty groan Jack nuzzled his neck and left a good hickey on his shoulder.
"Want one some where more visible sweet thing?"
Timmy shook his head violently.
"People will flick it."
"Not if they see who left it I'll bet." Jack kissed him again and put his hands on his leather belt.
"Help me out of the rest of this." Timmy complied even quicker than he expected his trembling and slick fingers still deftly removing the rest of Jack's suit.
Once he work was done Jack leaned back on the bed and let Timmy just take him in. Timmy's expression was akin to getting punched in the gut as he stared at Jack's proud cock.
"Oh boy I…"
Jack brought a hand up to Timmy's chin and lifted it to look him in the eye.
"You like men pumpkin?" Jack left his question off there and waited for Timmy to answer.
"A...few. I'm not normally in to them."
"Look down."
Timmy's eyes fell to his own groin which was well swollen, a dark spot was growing on his thin jeans.
"You're into this. Where's the trepidation from?"
Timmy fixed his eyes on Jack's, those big brown eyes were quickly robbing him of any self control. He wanted to flip him over, strip him, and fuck him into this shitty mattress.
"I'm a virgin...Jack. Nobody wants me." the very evident pain in his eyes quelled Jack's lust for a moment. He smiled and grabbed Timmy's hands and put them on his cock. Timmy hissed as the contact but didn't pull away.
"That's not true cupcake." Jack voice was unusually soft, "I know you better than you'd think. I'm hella interested. I'll happily be your first."
Timmy blushed again and his eyes shot up to Jack's.
"You just gotta ask."
Timmy seemed to waver a moment, then crawled up Jack's body.
"I...do want to." he whispered
"What's that kiddo?" Jack put a hand to his ear,"I didn't catch it. Also I'm not sure what you're asking for."
Timmy flushed with embarrassment and cleared his throat.
"I want to sleep with you, if you'll have me sir."
Jack smiled wide and yanked Timmy into him, hooking thumbs beneath his pant waist and pushing them down his body without undoing his button or zipper.
"First thing, call me Jack. Always call me Jack. Second thing; I love those little polite lines you give me. Keep being that nice sugar."
Jack pried Timmy out the rest of his clothes without needing to adjust either of them and flipped him over.
Jack ground his erection into Timmy's and kissed him like he would disappear. Timmy kissed him back with a fervor that surprised him and reached down to pump Jack's cock unintentionally grabbing both of them.
Jack chuckled against his lips and brought his own hand down.
"How's that feel?" he asked.
Timmy was lost to any feelings of nervousness or shame, he hummed and moved his hand with Jack's pleasuring both of them.
"Great," he whispered, "and...intimate."
Jack's breath caught a bit at the word and he shook it off.
"You do use some fancy words kiddo." he said before taking his hand away and going down to lick and suck Timmy's dick. His new partner cried out in ecstasy and and clutched his pillows, keening with Jack's expert ministrations.
While Jack enjoyed Timmy's reactions loud banging came from the far wall, rattling some of the posters tacked up.
"Hey lame-o keep the fapping to yourself alright!" some ass on the other side screamed. Jack snarled and went down on Timmy again, sucking so hard his toes curled. Timmy fought hard not to make it any noise but it was a losing battle. He moaned again and his neighbor pounded the wall again.
"I said keep it down! Nobody needs to hear that shit!"
"Ah, that shit hole!" Timmy hissed.
Jack lifted his head and keep pawing at Timmy.
"He keeps me up with all the slutty screaming girls he brings home every week. And goes yelling at me when I finally have someone." Timmy snorted derisively.
Jack only grinned and got an idea.
"Be loud for me sugar." he swallowed him down with ease and Timmy squeaked, then moaned. His neighbor knocked the wall so hard one of the posters fell down.
"Hey! Jerk-off!" Jack sat up and boomed towards the wall. "Why don't you give us a little peace and quiet? Got a lot of important things to do in here!"
Timmy covered his mouth to muffle the giggles he got pictured his neighbor's stunned face at hearing some else in Timmy's dorm room.
"That's kinda hot." he whispered.
Jack raised an eyebrow at him.
"Only the tip of iceberg pumpkin. Wait till we get back to Pandora."
"Wha-" Timmy was cut off by another consuming kiss and Jack's hand wandered down to his ass. Timmy bucked and tried to push his hand away.
"Don't be scared sugar."
"I've never-"
"Let me try one finger, you can't take it, you can ride me instead."
Timmy flushed at those words and gulped.
"Um...if it helps I have some ...oil. In my desk drawer."
"Go get it then."
Timmy got up and quickly made his way to the desk, digging a small bottle of intimate massage oil. He brought it back and Jack pushed him back down with one finger, slowly covering his hands in it. He was making a show of it; getting Timmy mentally prepared.
"So why keep this around?" he asked though he had a good idea of the answer.
"Feels...nice." Timmy answered sheepishly. "And it makes everything a little quieter."
Jack chuckled softly.
"You have terrible neighbors."
"Yeah…" He stiffen up as Jack reached for his ass again and slowly massaged the sensitive ring of muscle.
"You'll be a pretty lousy neighbor tonight."
He inserted a finger and Timmy clenched up, even holding his breath.
"Come one kiddo, breath, relax." Jack rubbed his chest with his free hand and Timmy obeyed. As Jack pumped his finger in and out Timmy began to relax a little and Jack felt confident in adding another. His partner tightened up again but relaxed quicker. Jack twisted and scissored his fingers, pushing further in till he hit the prostate. Timmy bucked and moaned and Jack paused for an instant.
"What the shit?" Timmy said breathlessly.
"Good?" Jack asked, his voice husky.
Timmy melted into the mattress as Jack touched the spot again, groaning out a sound that eventually became a "Yes."
Jack kept pumping his fingers, slowly moving faster and his companion quickly loosened for him. When he could get three fingers to fit happily inside he felt Timmy was ready. First his oiled his hand again and made sure Timmy was good and slick. He didn't normally take this much trouble but Timmy was the one person he was willing to take pains not to scare off.
He lubed himself up; a few honeyed sounds slipping from his throat as his hand slid over his long neglected flesh.
He looked down at Timmy, covered in sweat and lying open and pron before him, biting his lip and obviously longing for Jack. It was a sight he'd dreamed about for a long time; too damn long.
"Oh god do I ever want you." Jack moaned before pressing his tip to Timmy's entrance. He pushing in gingerly, in short thrusts. Every time he pulled out he pushed back just a little further. Timmy was tensing up again, Jack grabbed his ankles and lifted his legs up to rest on his shoulder, then dug his fingers into his hips and sank in just far enough to rub that sweet spot again.
Timmy shuddered and relaxed and Jack could sink in to the hilt.
"Oh fuck!" Jack nearly yelled. He hissed and threw his head back, he wanted to pound away and get the orgasm that was nipping at his heels but made himself stop and savor the tight, begging heat around him.
Timmy mewled softly and reach to Jack's thighs, scratching at them lightly. Jack knew full well what he wanted.
"You got it babe."
He leaned down and started thrusting deep and hard but slow, rocking Timmy's body with each one. Timmy's brow knitted and babbled things out, like he was both lost in this and still unsure of it. Jack brought a still oiled hand to his cock and expertly jerked him and Timmy keened again.
"Jack!" he yelled and Jack got more revved up than could be said hearing his own name on Timmy's lips.
Thumping from the wall could be heard again but it was half hearted this time. Jack laughed and rutted into Timmy, the bed now squeaking and complained beneath their vigorous activity. Timmy had become noisy as could be and egged Jack on. He kept a firm grip on his cock and hips, whispering absolutely filthy things about how good Timmy felt around him and all the things wanted to do once he stole Timmy back to Helios with him.
Timmy was lost to the world but Jack could tell his words were still getting to him here and there. He sped up and thrust into Timmy without mercy, then held himself as deep as he could possibly get as his orgasm took him. Timmy gasped as Jack came inside him his already crimson cheeks flushing even more.
Jack let out a satisfied and loud moan; amping it up a bit for their neighbor's enjoyment. Without even pulling out he jerked Timmy off to orgasm and got no small amount of pleasure watching him tense up and nearly go into convulsions as he came. Jack found the smell of his partner intoxicating, so dirty and erotic.
Timmy put a hand to his forehead and took great heaving breaths. jack finally pulled himself out with a slick pop and laid down next to Timmy. While his partner recovered his lowered his head to his stomach and licked up some of his finish.
Timmy almost looked mortified when he felt Jack's tongue meet his flesh. Jack savored his taste like he had the wine and leaned up to kiss him again.
"So..I-" Timmy started to say.
"Ah-tut-tut-tut," Jack put a finger to his lips like he had when the whole tryst began. "No questions. You know the answers. You're mine now. You'll be my body double and you'll get paid buckets for it. You'll also be living with me on Pandora. You don't need anybody else anymore sugar."
Timmy nodded. He was quelling excitement but still couldn't resist hugging Jack. Jack knew the boy was falling for him hard and he wanted it that way. He left in the late morning as Timmy was preparing to go to his Creative Writing Honors class. As they exited they were confronted by Timmy's neighbor; a strapping, six foot, angry jock. He looked like he had a whole homophobic speech prepared but any words he had died in his throat as Jack stared him down.
"Yeah kiddo? You got something to say to Handsome Jack? Huh?"
The jock shook his head and ran down the hall towards the stairs.
"Well that's that." Jack pecked Timmy's cheek. "He gives you any trouble you just call me babe." Jack led him down to the front door with an arm around him, ignoring the stunned stairs of the dorm's other inhabitants.
"Jack I don't know you-"
"I added it to your phone while you were still sacked out. You've got my ECHO frequency, my email and my business and personal numbers. Use 'em."
"Ok.." Timmy looked around at all the furious stares from women. Jack wanted to yell at all them, make these bitches back off of his new favorite but he held his tongue. He knew Timmy only had two semesters left, just a few months and Jack would pluck him out of this place and whisk him back to Helios for his surgery and training.
Greed and possessiveness grew in him as he bid Timmy goodbye on the green in front of the Literature building. Timmy would be his body double but he wanted to keep him in a gilded cage and never let anyone else even glimpse him. But if he did that, he'd never be Tim either.
Jack let his fantasy go as he realized that paradox. He would always lose Tim. Timmy he might be able to keep. Bile rose up along with bitterness and hate as he thought about how he couldn't even have the choice.