Chapter 1 – An Unexpected Feeling

My hands felt like they were going to fall off. I had been working for 7 hours now, outside in the blistering heat. Sweat was dripping down my face and the perspiration was causing my hands to get sweaty.

I was chopping wood in my backyard, gathering together some firewood. Being that it was almost autumn, and it was becoming colder and harder to go out and gather wood, I decided I would help my family starting building up stock for the winter. Being from District 7, cutting our own wood was a daily occurrence, and it was an expected skill that everyone in the District possessed.

Finishing up, I put the wood that I had just finished chopping in our yard shed and walked back to my house. I immediately ran to drink some water from our tap and walked over to the bathroom to have a shower.

It was relaxing getting to feel the water rushing down over my body, and wash away the dirt from a long workweek. This was to be my first and only shower this week, so I made sure that I prolonged it as much as I could. Being from a poorer area of the District, my family couldn't afford to use lots of water, electricity, etc. We could barely even afford the amount that we used. However, most areas of the District couldn't either. Although our District wasn't poor, most families dealt with a financial struggle on a daily basis. Lumber just wasn't a stable income.

After finishing up in the shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and looked in the mirror. I didn't like how I looked. Brown eyes and short brown hair, I wasn't much to look at. Maybe that's why everyone ignored me, there was nothing standing out. I pulled my hair back, and I quickly got dressed, putting on a random sweater and pants, then left to go to our town square.

Today there was going to be special activities to start the week of the reaping ceremony. The reaping ceremony, the dreaded day where everyone feared that someone they cared about would be picked. This year was going to mark the 71st Hunger Games. The 71st year where kids got put into an area in which only one person would come out alive and be marked as the "victor." Essentially it labeled you as "killer," pawn of the Capitol. I would never want to have my name tarnished by the Capitol; it was bad enough that I was ruled over by a selfish President who was an egotistical psychopath that took joy in the murder of children.

As I walked into my town centre some kids I went to school passed by me. They simply pointed at me, whispering amongst one another, probably making fun of my hair or whatever else they decided was wrong with me. Except for one. Ethan Samuels, otherwise known as my secret and only friend.

I had run out the classroom in tears after being verbally abused by classmates about anything they could think of. They were tearing me down piece by piece, and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't understand why everyone had it out for me. I sat down in a ball, and I couldn't stop crying.

I had been sitting outside for a couple minutes when someone approached me. I looked up and was a bit shocked at who it was. It was Ethan Samuels, one of the most popular people in our age year. Everyone seemed to like him, and he was the idea of perfection in everyone's eyes. He never seemed to go through any struggles and he came from a nicer neighbourhood, with a comfortable income.

I wondered why he had approached me when he suddenly sat down next to me. He pulled my hands away from my face and shot me a big smile. "Why are you crying?" he said to me quietly.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that everyone seems to hate me, tear me down no matter what I do. It's bad enough that I live in this horrible district, chopping logs for lumber hoping to make some money for my family, and what tops it off is that everyone seems to have it out for me. They barely even know me. Why am I always the target? I wish I knew how to stand up for myself," I said while crying softly.

"Wow! You're an opinionated one, aren't you? I don't think I've ever heard you say that much," Ethan chuckled. He then stood up and pulled me up alongside him and said, "Well, let's stop moping around and go for a walk."

"I'd rather just sit here, crawl up in a ball and die. That sounds rather fun actually."

"Ok. Suit yourself. I'll just go for a walk and have tons of fun by myself. Now that sounds fun."

"Fine…I'll come, but only if you promise you'll take my mind off everything."

"Now that's a promise I'll keep."

Since our first real acquaintance, we became super close. We opened up to each other, and it was relieving to finally have someone to talk to. I was so happy around him. He understood me, and most importantly, he cared.

I shot a secret smile to Ethan and he smiled back at me. Whenever he smiled at me, I felt happy. The fact that someone as special as him could care for me amazed me, along with the fact that his friends couldn't stand me. I caught his eye and nodded my head slightly, gesturing to meet by our special spot by the pond in the forest after the day's festivities were over.

I walked away, and as I did, a tiny piece of my heart broke. I sometimes felt like my heart would break apart in two every time I had to say goodbye to him. I tried to subside this feeling and I took a spot as far away from my classmates as possible.

I sat around for a couple minutes as everyone took their seat in the town square. Our mayor James Stanton soon walked out and silencing everyone said, "Welcome citizens of District 7. As you all know this week is our annual reaping ceremonies in which 2 children between the ages of 12 and 18, one boy and one girl, will have their name drawn out of a bowl to determine this District's tributes. There will be 2 tributes also selected from our country's 11 other districts, and they will then be sent to the Capitol where they will train and compete in this year's 71st Hunger Games.

For the rest of the week, we will be organizing registration in order to ensure that everyone's names are entered the number of times relative to your age. That is all for today. As you leave you need to make sure to sign out with the peacekeepers. At the end of the week, we will be having our reaping ceremony and all members of the District must attend. If you violate this rule, it will be seen as a public offense. That is all. Enjoy the rest of the week, and may the odds be ever in your favour!"

With that, the mayor walked off the stage. I quickly glanced around and caught Ethan's eye. He nodded his head towards the forest. I knew what that meant, meeting at our secret spot. With that, I quickly walked towards the end of the town square to where the peacekeepers were slowly signing people out.

I walked up to the nearest peacekeeper and waited for the three people in front of me to get let through. When it was my turn, the peacekeeper took my hand and pricked my finger, pressing my finger against the paper beside my name. I was so relieved that this "celebration" was over. The whole Hunger Games was sick, I don't understand how the Districts offering up tributes is a punishment when it clearly serves as primary entertainment to the Capitol. If they want their citizens to obey them, they should consider stopping this charade.

By this point, I was nearing the woods, and I scoured the tree line looking for Ethan and I's special meeting spot. We often hung out by the small creek in the middle of the forest. People in the District rarely ventured this far out of the urbanized area, so it was a quiet spot for us to retreat. Ethan and I had been meeting here almost as long as we had been friends.

As Ethan and I began to go for a walk we mutually decided to find someplace quiet. I couldn't deal being around people and he wanted somewhere to relax and forget about everything. We decided to head into the forest where we found a small creek that was perfect. I sat down and he plopped down beside me.

"This is nice," Ethan said smiling.

"It's alright, I guess. Why did you come out and find me anyways? What about your friends," I said with a huff.

"Well, my "friends" shouldn't be rude like that. I don't agree with it. Also, they don't know I'm here. I just walked out of class really. No one questioned me about anything."

"You can just walk out. Wow, that must be nice."

"I guess it comes with the so-called perfect image," he said while shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, it's true. You are perfect."

"Not really. I just haven't disclosed anything to anyone. No one would understand what I'm going through. I find it's just easier to let everything think that I don't have any problems. It helps me escape my head and believe what I'm telling everyone."

"You could tell me. I won't judge. God knows I'll understand what you're going through. My life is in shambles."

"My mom is sick, my dad is an alcoholic and looks for everyone possible excuse to abuse me. My home situation is horrible."

"I wasn't expecting that. You have all that holed up in there?" I said to him while leaning over to pat his arm.

"I can't tell anyone. I'm scared, Johanna. I'm scared that one day I'll come home and mom will be gone and I'll be alone. I'm scared that my father will drink away and blame me for everything. Alcohol isn't good to him. It messes with his mind." By this point, Ethan was breaking down into tears. It was weird to see him like this. He always locked away his feelings. I put my arm around him in an attempt to comfort him, and turned to the side and hugged me.

It was nice. He was warm despite the tears flowing down his face. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. Someone cared enough to open up to me. I felt needed and appreciated, something that only my family ever conveyed to me.

From that day on, Ethan and I met by the creek whenever we wanted to escape and let our minds wander. The two of us were each other's confidants, and no one knew about it, not even my parents.

I had been sitting around for a couple minutes enjoying the breeze when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and was met with pretty blue eyes. Ethan. His eyes made me melt. He was perfection in my eyes, and I craved more from him, but our friendship meant everything to me. He has made me the happiest I have ever been in my life.

"What took you so long," I said to him.

"Well, I finally got up the nerve to ask Ashley out," Ethan stated while letting off a huge smile. "She said yes. I can't believe it!"

"You never even told me you liked her. Why would you want to go out with that blonde bimbo anyways? She's practically slept with half of the guys in our age year."

"I think she's amazing. She's so caring towards me and she takes my breath away whenever I see her." Ethan put his arm around me and pulled me close. Whenever he did that I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let go. He was so amazing and he deserved so much better than Ashley. I just wish I'd one day have the nerve to tell him that. He deserved that from me.

"As long as your happy, I guess," I said quietly, pulling away slightly.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy for me? You're my best friend. I thought you should be the first to know before we start dating."

"Honestly do whatever the hell you want Ethan. It's not like you ever listen to me anyways. Just stop acting like you care! I have enough people telling me just to disappear!" I began to get up and walk away, but Ethan pulled my arm trying to get me to stay.

"Johanna! Where did this come from? What did I do wrong?" Ethan looked slightly pained while he said this, and kept on pulling on my arm in an attempt to stop me from running away.

"Nothing Ethan. Nothing. That's the problem." I couldn't bear to look at his face anymore. I was beginning to break out in tears. I did the only thing I could, the only thing I was good at, running away.

I didn't stop running until I got home. I was completely out of breath and felt like I was about to collapse, but that didn't matter. I am so pathetic. I couldn't even work up the nerve to tell my best friend how I feel.

"Johanna honey, are you home?" My mom called out from her room upstairs. She must've left her work early. My mom worked at our District main lumber mill, and she was in charge of production and inventory. To most people, it sounded like a high-class job, but in reality, she was treated unfairly by her boss and ripped off for promotions and higher salaries. It didn't help that our family has been dealing with lots of money problems lately.

"I just got home mom," I yelled upstairs to her. My mom shouted back that she was coming downstairs, and with that came downstairs as if she was in a bit of a rush.

"What's wrong mom?" I said as I began taking my shoes off.

"Work. They've been mentioning me losing my job and it's scaring me." She began to twirl her hair nervously. Like me, my mom had brown hair and eyes, but rather than short hair like me, she wore it long and wavy. I sometimes wondered how we were related. She was gorgeous and beautiful inside and out, and then there was me, plain old me that lived in the shadows whereas my mom shined brightly.

"Johanna, you're home?" I turned around to see my dad heading towards me. My dad was a short stout man who had began to bold as a result of his age. He wore a smock with fresh paint scattered all over it along with his hands. He had been painting. Ever since he lost his job hauling lumber to the different factories he had taken to painting. It was a "mental detox" as he called it. Rather than stressing over work, he decided to lay even more pressure on my mom to provide money for our family to live on. I loved my dad, but he didn't understand that he needed to step up and provide for us, and it often gave off the impression that he didn't care where we ended up.

"Dad, mom just told me that they're thinking of firing her. Did you know this?"

"Oh, she told me about it earlier today. I told her not to worry about it. It's not like they'll actually lay her off, they rely on her too much. She keeps the factory in business."

"You know that they don't often bluff. Dad, this is serious. You need to forget about your "mental detox" for a second and think of your family that needs you," I explained while briefly glancing at mom who was still nervously twirling her hair.

"Johanna I understand but there's nothing I can do."

"You could get a job, dad," I said very frustratedly.

"Or you could Johanna. Honestly, you need to start pulling your weight around here. Your mother and I can't do all the work."

"Dad. Stop it! You've done nothing for us in years. What do you expect me to do? Take a "mental detox" and waste our money. Honestly, you're doing nothing to pull your weight around here," I couldn't handle my dad anymore. I loved him, but he needed a reality check. If he expected to do extra work, so did he.

"Fine Johanna, I'll go out job searching tomorrow. But only if you do something for me."

"What?'

"Help your mom out around the house. She's been really stressed out and I feel sorry for her. It's not her fault she married a loser."

"Dad, you're not a loser. You're awesome, and you've done so much for us in the past." My dad was tearing up and it made me sad to see him in this state. My dad rarely ever showed much emotion. He was generally very composed. I went up and hugged my dad, pulling him close.

"I love you, dad. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too Johanna."

It felt odd having a conversation like that with my dad. We hadn't had a heart to heart in years. However, I was glad we could open up to each other. I felt like ever since I had found Ethan, I hid from my parents, as if I was scared of what they might think of me. I trusted Ethan, but somehow in giving my trust to him, I was taking it away from my parents.

I had gone up to my room to sit and think about today. Looking around my room was nothing special. A single bed placed in the middle of my room. A small window and a dresser placed in front of it scattered with a few personal items. It wasn't much, although it wasn't like my family could afford anything else. Often when I sought out my room to think, I would stare at my ceiling thinking over the day's events and dreaming of what it would've been like to live in the Capitol, to have had more money. What if I didn't have to worry about my parents losing their jobs? Just for one day, I'd want to have no worries. I wonder what that would be like?

Thinking about today, I couldn't get Ethan out of my head. That boy warmed my heart but also crushed it at the same time. I don't understand how one single person could make me feel so many different ways, and where was all this emotion coming from. The two of us had been friends for a long time, and only now were my feelings for him beginning to shine through. I guess they had always been there but I hated being so vulnerable around someone, yet want to never leave their side.

Ethan. I couldn't stop thinking about him, no matter what I did. Every time I saw him I had the urge to run up and kiss him, but I knew that he would never in a million years feel the same way about me. If only. This was the one moment I wish I had been Ashley. I may be a dumb, ignorant, bimbo who only cares about looks, but at least Ethan would like me.

I had been lying on my bed thinking for close to an hour when I heard a quiet knock on my bedroom door. I looked up and saw my mom peek her head into my room and say, "Some kid named Ethan is at the front door. He said he knows you from school. I didn't know you had any friends."

"I don't really have any friends mom. He probably just some random kid that wanted to harass me outside of school. Just send him away."

"Alright, I'll try." I heard hear loud footsteps as my mom went down the staircase to the front door. I heard quiet talking, and soon after, my mom was making her way back up the stairs to my room.

"What is it, mom. I told you to tell Ethan to leave. I don't want to see anybody."

"Honey, he says he has something really important to tell you. He says it can't wait." My mom was looking at me with soft eyes that told me that I had lost this one and had to make my way downstairs. What could Ethan possibly say to me? That he was falling in love?

I slightly tripped on the last step of the stairs out of nerves. I guess I was nervous to face Ethan after what had gone down this afternoon. I opened the door and saw his handsome face staring back at me.

"Hello, Ethan," I said quietly. "I thought that we made a pact to only ever hang out at our special spots. I think this violates the rules."

"I have something to tell you and it can't wait."