"I'm not," "I'm not," "I'm not!" I tell myself looking at my reflection in the mirror. "I'm not..." Not what? I can't even bring myself to say it, I keep hoping that maybe, just maybe if I say it enough times that somehow I might actually start to believe it. "I'm not.." Gay, I can't be gay. Just because I think she's the most gorgeous person I've ever met doesn't mean that I'm gay. I mean most girls look at other girls and think they are attractive. Don't they? I've heard friends comment other girls telling them they look pretty, how is this any different? The little voice in my head, the one that always calls me out on my lies work its way into my thoughts. Yes Paige I'm sure all girls fantasize about their lips and how soft and kissable they look, or how silky smooth her hair would feel running through your fingers, your lips and tongues intertwined, her fingers caressing the soft skin at the nape of your neck, the other hand framing your face tenderly as you get lost in each other or how she has the most expressive eyes, every emotion swirling clearly in the chocolate coloured depths that you long to gaze into. Sometimes I hate that voice, no matter how many times I stand here saying I'm not gay, that little voice always contradicts me, the same voice that tells me I've been hiding from this for too long, that it's time to face the truth, that it's time to finally admit out loud. I'm Gay and I'm in love with Emily Fields, It's just too bad that I've already lost her, I blew my chance because I was scared, well I'm done with being scared, being scared has gotten me nowhere so far, so now it's time for a change, it's time to finally admit the truth, I Paige McCullers am gay, and I don't care who knows anymore.