Oh, the Holidays! Pt. 1: Table Manners for Dummies
It was Christmas Eve in the world of Blue's Clues. Red and green streamers covered the yellow house on the hill. Inside the living room was a huge Christmas tree that lit up the whole room. No one in the living room was paying attention to it though, there were bigger things at hand.
"Is it true, Joe?" Slippery Soap asked for the third time that hour. "Is Steve really coming over for Christmas?"
"Of course it's true! Don't you trust me?" asked Joe. When Slippery opened his mouth to respond Joe added, "Don't answer that."
"When is he coming?" questioned Sidetable Drawer.
"I just called him," said Joe. "He should be here right about-" The door bell rang.
"Now," Joe finished as he opened the door to reveal Steve in his usual green striped shirt and khakis. "Steve!" All the members of the Blue's Clues household yelled.
"Yeah, yeah, hello," Steve said in disinterest. He turned to Joe. "Where's the alcohol?"
"It's in the kitchen. But Steve, you should say hello fir-" Joe would have continued but Steve was long gone.
"Zhat's zrong zith zim?" Mr. Salt asked in a cheesy French accent.
Joe sighed in resignation. "Maybe he had a long trip? I don't know. Let's just go to the kitchen and get dinner alright?"
The whole gang gathered around the kitchen table. Steve and Joe sat on opposite sides of the table while Tickety Tock, Slippery Soap, Shovel, Pail, Sidetable Drawer, Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper and Blue Sat between them. They all held hands between them except for Steve, who was busy drinking wine straight from the bottle.
Joe, like a good little brother, ignored him. "Okay, everyone, before we start to eat dinner, it's time to say grace."
Before he could continue, Steve yelled, "GRACE!" and started to gbble down his meal.
"STEVE!" the whole table yelled in disgust.
"What?" Steve asked in annoyance, ignoring the mashed potatoes that were dribbling down his chin.
"Steve, before you eat dinner you say a prayer," explained Joe.
Steve just looked at him. "And?" he asked, then when back to his meal.
Joe sighed. "Did you hear the words I just said?"
Steve looked up form his meal again. "No."
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After thirty minutes of burps and crunches from Steve and silent munches from everyone else Sidetable whispered to Joe, "Is it me or has Steve lost his manners?"
Joe shrugged. "College does that to people."
Suddenly Steve stood up. "I'm leaving to unpack now," he said. Then he left the room, careful to grab bottle of wine with him.
The room was quiet before Pail said, "That was rude of him." Soon enough the room was alive with a group of animated inanimate objects' opinions of their visitor.
"Steve cannot be excused for not having good table manners!" Mrs. Pepper yelled and Blue said, "Bow wow!" in agreement.
"Alright, alright!" yelled Joe over the commotion. "I'll talk to Steve." Joe went out of kitchen and across the house to the bedroom, where Steve was unpacking.
"Hey Steve," said Joe awkwardly. Steve looked up from his suitcase and smiled at him.
"Hey Joe. Sorry for the way I was acting earlier. It's been a long day and… I haven't 'played Blue's Clues' for a while."
"Blue's Clues?" questioned Joe. What did Blue's Clues have to do with…?
"Oh!" he said in realization. He quickly closed the door and sat next to Steve. "Um, Steve? I ran out of…" He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Acid," He returned his voice to its normal volume, "Last month."
Steve smiled. "So? I brought some with me."
As Steve rummaged through his suitcase Joe said, "By the way, the rest of the gang was really worried about you. Maybe you should be extra nice this week."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Steve muttered absentmindedly. He finally took out a plastic bag. Joe's eyes widened when he realized how much acid was in the bag.
"I don't think we should do this," Joe said hesitantly.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and lick," he said as he handed Joe a piece of acid drug paper and took some for himself.
When Steve licked the paper Joe sneaked the paper stealthily into his pocket. He glanced at Steve, whose pupils were blown wide and had a wide gin on his face. It seemed like the acid was taking effect.
Joe stood up and inched to the door. "Steve, stay here alright?"
He got no response, since Steve was currently yelling out the window, "Hi out there! It's me, Steve! Have you seen Blue, my puppy?" to no one in particular.
"Taking to invisible children? Check," Joe muttered as he went back to the kitchen and leaving the bedroom door open.
Mrs. Pepper was the first to receive him. "How did it go?"
"What? Oh, he took it fine; he even said he would be on his best behavior all week long!" Joe said, careful to leave off the part where Steve took drugs.
He didn't hide it well, and Shovel caught on. "So…he's not high or anything?"
Joe's eyes widened. "What? No?" He calmed down. "Why would you think that? He's just in his room…unpacking."
Slippery's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure, Joe? You're not the best liar, you know."
Joe started to sweat. "Maybe?"
Before they could question him further, they heard Steve sing from the living room, "We gotta find another pawprint, that's the second clue, we put it in our notebook, 'cause they're who's clues? BLUE'S CLUES!"
Everyone in the kitchen turned to Joe. "He's high, isn't he," said Pail flatly.
Joe smiled nervously and shrugged. "Happy holidays?"
A/N: Hey, everyone. Thanks for reading. This story's not over yet! If I get some reviews I'll continue. So review!