Ch.1: It's Altean, not alien
Keith Kogane has known Katie Holt for about sixteen years now. He knows her weirdly intricate thoughts on peanuts and their different forms, that at twelve years old she chopped her hair off because Mulan did it (he also knows while she said it was scissors, she actually used one of his knives, because he was with her). Her preferred name is Pidge, one of her first memories is Keith tricking her into giving him her lollipop in exchange for a caterpillar and she does not go to bed before 2 AM.
Which is the current point of concern for him, because for the past week she has been ditching video games and even alien documentaries to go to bed at 10.
He has literally been her next door neighbor since she was born, this shit isn't gonna fly.
That's why he's currently spying on her from his bedroom window.
Which is not weird.
It's around midnight now and he notices her sneaking out her back door, heading for their old playhouse-turned-observatory in her backyard. They use it at least once a week to look out at the stars and try to find evidence of aliens.
Which is also not weird.
Despite what his former high school classmates think.
He watches her disappear into their little wooden hideout and decides to investigate.
Tossing a red coat on over his pajamas he sneaks out to the small building, quietly opening the door to see Pidge surrounded by computers and telescopes, thousands of papers scattered around with strange drawings on them of mapped out stars and landscapes located in the desert near their houses.
"What-" Keith begins, making Pidge jump and let out a small scream, "-Calm down, it's just me…."He says, picking up some papers before eying her suspiciously, "What have you been doing? Without me ?"
Pidge at least has the decency to look guilty, "Well, um, I...you see..." Her eyes suddenly go bright with excitement as she holds up some sketches, "I've been picking up some strange frequencies lately and decided to look into it. I was going to tell you, but you've been stressing over finals this semester so I figured I would wait until the weekend or I was entirely sure. But you're here and the satellite is picking up some crazy shit so I think we should grab your motorcycle and head out to these coordinates." She says with a grin, shoving a piece of paper in his hands, "Because if I'm right, something amazing is going to happen there tonight."
Keith stares at the paper, then the computers and the drawings in Pidge's hands, before smirking, "I don't really think the motorcycle would be the best idea. Let's take your jeep."
Pidge scowls, "I can't drive it with you, remember? Learners permit, you have to be twenty one, and your ass is only nineteen."
Keith shrugs, "Your parents put me on the insurance, too, so I'll drive. You grab the equipment." He orders, catching the keys when she tosses them.
"Why am I stuck with the heavy lifting?" Pidge grumbles and Keith shrugs.
"Punishment for trying to keep a secret from me."
"Ugh, you really are Shiro's brother…"
He gets the small green jeep out as quietly as possible and they pack it up quickly before heading to the coordinates using the GPS on Pidge's phone.
Naturally it's out in the middle of the desert, about half an hour away from their houses.
After parking, making sure to do so about ten miles away from what Pidge has deemed the strike zone, they set up telescopes and her laptop to monitor for any odd activity.
It's a quiet night outside, the sky completely clear, and Keith can't help but wonder if maybe Pidge is wrong. This wouldn't be the first time, honestly. She's 'found' evidence of something big before only to be wrong, they both have.
Still, neither is ever willing to take the chance that they dismiss the other and end up actually missing something, so here he is at 1 A.M. in is pajamas in the desert, searching the night sky for... something .
Pidge of course is the first to see anything, "Keith! Check it out!" She exclaims, never taking her eyes away from the telescope.
Keith makes note of where she's and positions himself closer to her.
That's when he sees it, too.
A bright blue light hurdling down to exactly where Pidge calculated.
As it draws closer, Keith notices the size and realizes they are still probably in a dangerous spot. He quickly jumps up and grabs Pidge's arm going to move them, but it's too late. The light too close to the ground and Keith immediately pulls Pidge into his arms, using his body and thin jacket to shield her from the oncoming sand as best as he can once it crashes down. He doesn't see anything, his eyes tightly shut and hiding in Pidge's hair, but he hears and feels the sand whipping past them before a mechanical sound rumbles from beneath the ground and everything stills.
He doesn't move immediately, making sure it's safe,before he lifts his head from its hiding place and looks around. The jeep is fine, although extremely dirty, but to his surprise all of the equipment they laid out is untouched. He let's go of Pidge and walks over to inspect it.
" Oh man! " Pidge exclaims, a huge grin on her face, "How insane was that!? We didn't even get hurt! The equipment didn't even get hurt!" She lifts up the hood of her jeep and cheers, "My baby's engine is even untouched!"
Keith walks over and, sure enough, just like the equipment her jeep's engine is completely clean. Not a speck of dirt on it. The outside is covered, just like the nearby rocks and plants, but all of the mechanical things seem to be clean. He was covered, too, but somehow after that strange rumbling from the ground all of the sand seemed to slough off of him into a pile at his feet.
Soon he has a grin to rival Pidge's.
This is definitely alien activity.
"We've gotta check out the landing site." He says and Pidge nods.
"We absolutely have to check out the landing site!" She exclaims, grabbing a few of her gadgets before leading the way.
When they arrive at the site there is a large crater in the sand, about a mile wide and probably 30 feet deep. Whatever landed there has fallen into what must be a cave beneath the dirt and while Keith should be apprehensive about diving in there, but he's definitely not.
"Alright, I'll go in. You stay up-"
"Absolutely not!" Pidge glares, "Don't treat me like a kid, Keith. I might be sixteen, but we're both sophomores in college so don't try me ."
Keith groans, "Fine, we'll both go in. At least then if we both get crushed I won't have to face the wrath of everyone knowing I let you go in there."
"Hah, you fucking wish you had a say in what I did." Pidge scoffs as they head down the crater, "Hey, do you see that blue light coming from the hole?"
"Looks like it's keeping the sand out," Keith frowns, "Think it will keep us out, too?"
"Nah, we'll find a way." Pidge says, a determined look in her eyes when they finally reach the bottom. They peak inside the hole, mapping out their route to climb down.
That's when they see it.
The large cylindrical pod standing straight and tall in the middle of the rubble from its crash landing.
" Holy shit ." Pidge breathes and Keith can only nod, crouching down and moving a limb towards the blue light to see if it does anything.
It doesn't.
His hand goes right through as if it's not there.
"So it allows organic lifeforms in," Pidge muses, "This is amazing ." She grins, the both of them carefully sliding in and crawling down the walls in tandem.
There's a loud echo when they finally drop to the ground, but nothing is shaking. The cave is still, eerily still for something that just got a huge hole punched into it. Keith looks up at the light coming from the pod and surrounding the hole.
"It must be keeping this place structurally sound." Pidge says, "Sounds like it's a pretty big cave, though, I wonder if there is a spot we can walk out of somewhere?"
"Maybe, but it would probably be too far from our stuff..." Keith mutters, his eyes going to the pod in front of them. He's pretty sure they are currently looking at the back, all one solid piece of silver metal that curves around to the front. There's strange markings on it, ones he's never even seen in the most detailed of alien reports and blogs he's look through over the years.
He knows, though. They're definitely not human.
Excitement begins to bubble up in his chest as they walk around the pod, landing where he believes is the front. There's a deep blue glass that encompasses it, jutting out from the metal like a protective shield. Or maybe a door.
"Alright! I'm gonna open it!" Pidge exclaims, feeling around the blue glass and pulling on the edges to try and get it to budge.
Nothing happens.
That doesn't stop her, though, and soon she is just poking everything until some strange board pops out to the left of the glass, "Ah-HAH!, get ready, Keith!" She exclaims, going over to it and once again pressing blindly in hopes of a reaction.
Keith thinks about going to join her at the stange panel, but is quickly stopped when the glass vanishes and an ice cold mist comes jetting out, along with a body. He moves to catch it and the head crashes into his chest with a painful thud as the rest of the form begins to slump down before he gets a good grip on the hips, keeping it up and against him as much as he can with the taller, lanky, form. " Wow," He breathes out before turning towards Pidge, "I could, um, use a little help over here."
Pidge comes over and stares wide eyed at the alien in his arms, " Holy shit ."
"What's it look like?" Keith asks, excited, he sees pointy ears and white hair, but the rest is covered by a blue cape from his angle.
"Pretty sure it's a he...and he honestly looks almost human ."
They both frown.
"Well that's a letdown." Keith mutters, a good deal of his excitement dissipating and Pidge nods.
"I want me some bug eyed grey dudes, come on universe."
"So...what should we do now?" He asks, sliding his arms up to the creature's shoulders so he might move it to the floor somewhere.
Before he can do anything, though, the alien begins to groan, it's voice muffled by Keith's chest. It looks up at Keith, and while disappointing from an alien standpoint,it's gorgeous from a human one. Pidge was definitely right, this alien is a he and he looks shockingly human aside from the elfish ears and strange blue markings on his cheeks. Once he comes to a little, the alien's eyes are focus intently on Keith's face, a deep blue with odd purple specks engulfed in the pupils.
Definitely not terrifying or buggy, but they might easily be the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen.
"Are you…" The alien begins, brows furrowed in confusion as he looks Keith over, "From another planet…?"
"Um, technically-"
"Because your body is out of this world !
Keith's fingers twitch, along with his eye,tempted to drop him as Pidge laughs from nearby, "You can't be serious. We stumble upon an alien after all these years and he looks human and makes puns? " He groans, literally all of the thrill from stumbling upon this guy lost.
"Whoa, hey," The alien begins, standing up on his own and crossing his arms, "I'm just making nice with the natives." He sighs when Keith's frown conveys to him just how not into it he is. "Fine, jeez, nevermind then. Guess I'll just cut to the chase, grumpy. The name's Lance. I'm Prince of the planet Altea and, well, I've come here seeking refuge...I guess." His voice has an edge of bitterness to it towards the end but there's not really time to dwell on that.
Pidge and Keith share an uncomfortable look before she turns to him and speaks up, "You chose a shitty planet to seek refuge in."
Lance frowns, his focus now on Pidge, "What planet is this?" He asks, looking her up and down curiously, "And what species are you two?"
"We're human." Pidge answers, "I'm Pidge, grumpy is Keith, our planet is called earth, part of the milky way galaxy." She goes on to give brief lesson to him on earth, finishing off on the different sets of time from seconds to days and years. "But, as I said before, out planet is not the best choice for refuge."
"Huh, well, I guess I'll just have to re-calibrate this guy and head out." Lance turns back to his pod and presses the blue glass, bringing up a screen that quickly goes static and fades out, before the entire pod itself seems to shut down, leaving only the blue light holding the cave together, "Well, shitty or not it looks like my pod is damaged, so I'm kinda...stuck for a bit." He lets out a heavy sigh and presses his forehead to the glass, "Ugh, I can't believe this. I didn't even want to leave, and now I'm stuck on some planet that's basically an infant in the universe and it's primitive lifeforms aren't even intelligent enough to see my charm."
"Ok, we are literally right next to you, Lance ." Keith huffs, earning him an unamused look from the alien.
"That's Prince Lance to you." He corrects and Keith raises a brow.
"Seriously? You just called me primitive, I'm not calling you prince ."
"That's one of the many reasons why you should call me prince. I'm clearly above you."
With every passing second this alien speaks, Keith is questioning his interest in the extraterrestrial more and more.
" So, " Pidge says loudly, making sure to get their attention, "Your pod isn't working correctly, huh? I'm not too surprised, our atmosphere is pretty dangerous for things not specifically catered to it. Still, though, if you're stuck here, you need a place to stay where no one will see you and this ," She gestures to the wreckage, "Needs to be hidden if possible. While this isn't a very busy spot in the desert, it still gets some traffic and who knows if anyone else saw you land...er...well...crash."
Lance sighs, eying the mess he made, "I see your point."
"Don't you have some alien magic that could fix this up?" Keith asks and Lance's mouth drops.
"Don't I-? What ?" He asks, shaking his head in disbelief, "I am pretty sure you mean Altean , first of all, and no. Do I look like some fucking fake ass wizard ?"
"No, you look like some fucking fake ass elf ." He hisses, making Lance gasp.
"How dare you! I don't know what that is, but it sounds offensive!" Lance looks to Pidge, "Is it offensive?"
She shrugs, "I mean, technically, on our planet elves are considered one of the most beautiful mythical races, sooo..." Her eyes wander to Keith with a shit eating grin on her face. "You tell me."
Keith levels her with an unamused look. That's not what he meant.
"Oh," Lance smirks at him, " Ooohhh ."
"No." Keith says flatly, "Just. No ." He looks at the wreckage again, "So if you don't have some magical cure all for this, what are we gonna do? Finding a way to fill in the crater will take way too long, not to mention close up the only way we have to return and work on his pod."
"Well, I don't have a magical cure all, but I do have a basic scientific cure-some." Lance offers, reaching into a hidden pocket in his pants and holding up a small pearl-like stone. "On Altean ships we have these things called holodecks, where one can go and feel like they are back home on long voyages. Some ships don't have room for them, though, so my sister actually created these little guys. You tell it the location and they will scan the area, mapping out it's original form before duplicating it perfectly. Anywhere in the galaxy, just give it coordinates and it's ready to go."
"How convenient," Keith muses as Pidge pushes past him to stare at it, starry eyed.
"That's insane, this is insane . Your technology is millenia ahead of ours." She holds her hands out and Lance drops the stone in them with an easy smile, "Is there any way I can come visit your planet after all of this?"
"As long as your people don't try to come and destroy it, definitely." Lance grins, "It's a beautiful planet that should be admired by the entire universe, after all."
"I bet! Just the technology alone is…" Pidge sighs dreamily, " Amazing ."
Lance soon takes the stone from her, moving his finger in a strange pattern before she gives him the coordinates of their location. As soon as she's finished saying them, the stone rumbles, the same strange writings from on the pod starting to appear on it before falling to the floor and creating an all encompassing projection that hides the pod, the hole, and from the looks of it the massive crater left from the impact.
"Holy shit !" Pidge exclaims, feeling the area where the illusion is and actually being unable to touch the pod that should be right in front of her, "How-? My god I think I'm in love!" She decides, looking where the stone is buried under the sand, "I would literally kill to meet your sister, Prince Lance!"
"No need for that, I'm sure!" Lance smirks, "Allura loves to meet new races."
"Ok, so now that we have hiding that taken care of...where are we going to put this?" Keith asks, pointing to Lance and receiving an appalled gasp from the alien.
"I'm not a thing, you know!"
"Keith, stop antagonizing the alien prince ." Pidge groans, "As for where he's gonna stay...I don't think...I mean, we don't have a lot of options. He can't stay with me, my entire family works for the Garrison."
"Wha-?" Keith gapes, fearing he knows exactly where this is heading and he does not like it, "No, absolutely not. My brother works there, too, you know!"
" Yeeaaahhhh , but he's one person who is rarely home and respects your privacy as opposed to my three people where at least one is always home and all of them are extremely nosey. Also, I'd like to see you shine a teenage girl having an older guy hiding in her room in a positive light." Pidge points out and both Keith and Lance grimace.
"She has a point…" Lance mutters, "A man being caught in a woman's room is kind of…"
"I know, I know." Keith groans, "So, what, I have to take him home? You found him." He points out. There is no way he is taking some cocky prince home.
Fucking none.
Pidge grins at him, "Remember when literally two days ago we were having a Mario Kart match to see who would keep any alien we found in their place? Irony's a bitch , huh?"
Keith glares at her, "That was when I thought we'd find an alien that looked like an alien and not something tantamount to a guy cosplaying an elven prince . Besides, I lost that race. He should be your responsibility."
"Ok, couple things." Lance speaks up, grabbing their attention before he holds up a finger, "One; way to make a prince feel wanted, guys. Seriously feeling the love here-"
"You shouldn't." Keith chimes in, quickly being elbowed in the gut by Pidge.
"Two," Lance continues, pointedly ignoring him as he holds up another finger, "What is this Garrison and why should I care if someone I'm staying with works there? And three," He holds up a third finger, "It's Altean . Not ' alien' . Seriously, guys, your ears may look odd but I know they work."
Pidge and Keith's hands immediately shoot up to their ears for a moment, suddenly self-conscious, before Pidge speaks up, "Ok, so…sorry about that, I honestly would happily take you with me if I could get away with it, but with you looking like a human male I really can't" She shoots Keith a look, "And he's just upset because you weird looking enough. It's not you, specifically. I promise."
"No, she's wrong, for me it's you, specifically." Keith says, "You look too human, you're kind of a dick...really, you are very underwhelming from an alien point of view."
Pidge groans, "Keith, seriously!? Why? " She looks back to Lance, " Anyways , the Garrison is our space research center. My parents and brother are well respected scientists there, and Keith's brother is a well respected pilot. I'd guess technically he and my brother and dad are astronauts, too but, they've only gone into space once. Now, as for aliens , we are in fact purposefully saying that. It's a term on earth for extraterrestrial creatures, or anything alive that exists off of our planet. We've never seen aliens before, you're the first to land here as far as we know for sure , but yeah. It's just a general term."
"I see…" Lance frowns, "And if this Garrison were to find me, they would-?"
"Take you," Pidge says.
"Dissect you," Keith adds.
"And find and colonize your planet." She finishes, Lance's expression now one of pure horror, "B-but we won't let that happen!"
"Yeah, Pidge here is a tech genius so she should be able to help you with your pod, and like she said I'm pretty much always alone at home so no one is going to discover you there. It'll probably take, like, a week. Tops." Keith offers, admittedly feeling a little sympathy at least for the other alteans.
"I mean," Pidge frowns, "It kinda depends on what we need to do and what tools we need to fix it...but it definitely won't be longer than a month."
Lance's brows furrow as he clearly tries to convert their time frames into whatever units of measurement Alteans use, "I...see...well, a month isn't great but I supposed I can survive. Hopefully."
"We're not gonna let you die." Keith assures him, "But, um, to be safe we are gonna need to cover your face when we leave here."
Pidge nods, "No human has pointy ears, or marks like that under their eyes, so…"
"Oh, right, I have to blend in." Lance nods, his ears suddenly shrinking and taking on a rounder shape as the blue markings under his eyes vanish, "Better?"
"No alien magic my ass. " Keith grumbles under his breath.
"It's not magic, Keith , it's simply Altean genetics. As a race with an aptitude for diplomacy, we can quickly observe a new language and master it, as well as take on the form of any other species we might need to." Lance explains and Keith's eyes light up.
"How about a dog? I could easily get away with bringing a dog home. Hell, Pidge could even take you, then."
"No, Keith, it has to be...um...I believe the earth term would be 'humanoid'."
Keith frowns, "Oh. Figures."
"Would you stop being unimpressed with me?" Lance whines, "Jesus, I've done a bunch of cool shit already, and aren't you supposed to be in awe of the first alien you've ever encountered?"
"What can I say?" Keith smirks, " I guess you're just underwhelming ."
"You've already said that!" The alien shrieks and Keith shrugs.
"The truth bears repeating."
"Ugh, enough already ," Pidge groans, walking back over to the wall, "As fun as it is to hang out in a cave at night, we need to get home. So can we go through this hologram or do we need to find a different way out?"
"Nah, we'll be fine." Lance smiles at her, "You go first, I'll be behind you in case you fall." He begins, going to follow her until Keith's hand grabs his shoulder, "Wha-?"
"She doesn't need you to be behind her, first of all, and second of all your ass is going first in case this holodeck thing malfunctions somehow and zaps someone."
Lance glares back at him, "First of all, my holo gem is structurally sound, thank you very much. Second of all, it doesn't work in a way that it would zap her if it didn't. Maybe your little neanderthal brain cannot comprehend that, but-"
" Neanderthal!?" Keith hisses and Lance turns to face him.
"That's right! Neanderthal! You cannot appreciate my greatness and you cannot appreciate my technology's greatness than clearly you are underdeveloped! It's pretty obvious to me that either Pidge is a genius among your species or you are just an idiot of a human!"
"Jesus fucking…" Pidge grumbles before chucking a rock between the two of them, catching their attention, "Get your asses on that wall and climb . My parents will be up in a few hours and your brother will be home in a few hours unless he grabbed another double, so if we don't want Prince Lance here to get caught we need to move our asses ."
Keith and Lance both shoot her a dirty look, but do as she says. The three of them luckily make quick work getting back to the jeep, Lance grumbling to himself when they make him help pack up their stuff before leaving.
"Wow! A mechanical mode of transportation!" Lance gasps when he finally gets a good look at the jeep, "I guess you aren't as primitive as I initially assumed." He smiles, hopping into the back seat as Keith and Pidge share an exasperated look.
" How important is it that I don't kill him, again?" Keith asks and Pidge sighs.
"He is an emissary from a distant, far more advanced planet. Keeping him safe is literally a matter of life or death for all of earth."
"Hm…" He looks up at the sky, the sound of Lance complaining about the look of his small round ears in the rearview mirror reaching them, "I think earth has had a good run."
"Keith our planet is a literal baby , get your ass in that jeep and for the love of everything stop arguing with him. " Pidge groans before both of them get in the jeep.
The drive home is pretty quiet as Pidge begins to doze off in the passenger seat and Lance just silently stares in awe at his new surroundings. Once they reach Pidge's driveway, though, the silence comes to an end as Lance looks around curiously.
"Is this your home, Keith?"
"No, this is Pidge's place." Keith sighs and Lance smiles at her as she begins to wake back up.
"You have a lovely home."
"Why thank you, Lance." Pidge shoots him a tired grin, "I'm sure my family would love to know it has an alien's seal of approval."
" Why are you so nice to Pidge?" Keith groans when he finally parks inside the garage, "She's a kid , you know."
"I'm not...I'm not flirting with her, Keith !" Lance gasps, genuinely appalled, which, good. "She is simply a sweet and helpful young lady."
"She is literally none of those things." He grumbles, "I mean, I guess 'young lady' is debatable because she is young and she is female but she's by no means lady-like."
Pidge shrugs, "Yeah, that's fair." She hops out of the jeep, coming around to the drivers side to take the keys from Keith, "I'll see you guys in the morning. Try not to kill each other before then."
"No promises." Keith grumbles and Lance scoffs.
"Please, I could take you down with my pinky finger." He mocks, looking way too sure of this fact.
"Hah, like some spoiled little Prince coul-!" Keith goes rigid when a pair of arms wrap around his waist and hoist him off his feet, bringing him chest-to-chest and face-to-face with a smug Lance.
"You were saying?" He asks as Keith grabs his shoulders for some semblance of stability.
" What are you doing ? Put me down, you-!"
Pidge clears her throat, looking in unamused, "Right, well, please also refrain from fucking the alien tonight, Keith."
"I would never-!" Keith begins before Lance moves his arms away, allowing the human to slam his feet on the pavement, " Fuck. This. Alien." He finishes, glaring at Lance darkly as Pidge heads for the door into her house from the garage.
"Yup, cool, now get home before Shiro does." She says, sounding way too unconvinced.
"Alright," Keith turns to Lance after Pidge disappears behind the door, "There's gonna be some ground rules and you're gonna listen to them."
Lance crosses his arms and straightens his back out to make sure he's looking down on Keith as much as possible when he smirks, "We'll see."
Keith shoots Lance an exasperated look before turning to glare at Pidge's door, cursing his best friend for saddling him with literally the worst alien they could have found.
He should have just befriended Matt instead.
A/N: I literally cannot find any fics with this idea, if you know of any for the LOVE OF GOD HOOK ME UP
This mess took literally three months and over 20 rewrites to be even remotely acceptable to me I wanted to write this type of story but I DID NOT want Lance to be the naive little damsel (or dude version of damsel?) in distress like most fish out of water stuff bc I don't think an Altean WOULD be. I see Altean Lance as someone who would see a microwave and be like 'aawww I remember when WE used to have those. Oh wait. No I don't, because it was literally 500 years before I was born.'
I know nothing of alien stories that aren't horror or ecchi tropes and I know nothing of Alien enthusiasts, the only one I know of is Ryan from Buzzfeed Unsovled and I feel like he's a very diluted one so yeah
Any, like, information on what a hardcore alien enthusiast might have or do would be super cool