October 27 - early, 2:00 in the morning
i didnt know life could be this harsh. I had everything one day than nothing at all the next. I dont understand, how could he hurt me like this! he said he loved me! i guess that is just it, he "loved" me.
Passed tense. Not any more.
October 26 - morning, just before school
I sat out side on the bench waiting for Eli. He was really late. We wernt going to have any time to talk...again. But at that moment He drove into the parking lot. I automatically smiled, I guess it is just habit now. Once he got out of his car he gave is beautiful dark brown hair a shake- i love it when he does that.. sexy! As he was walking up to the school doors he diding even see me so i called out his name.
"Hey Eli! it was about time you showed up! the bell is about to ring!"
"Oh hi clair. im sorry, i had a... thing i had to take care of."
"Are you okay? You seem kind of out of it today.P
"I-" the school bell cut him off "I got to go clair."
and with that he was gone.
During my first two classes all i could think of was Eli and what he was going to tell me! Was his dad back on drugs? Did they get in a fight? And more importantly, why didn't he tell me this morning?
As I waited for the lunch bell to ring, so my questions could be answered, I began wondering... oh my goodness ... i hope his "thing" he had to take care of was Fitz.
Finally the bell rang and i was out of the class room and almost running to Eli's locker.
when i got there i was shocked to only see Adam there and not see Eli. how could he be gone already! the bell rang like 40 seconds ago!
"Adam! wheres Eli?"
"hi clair ! its nice to see you too! oh im great! how are you?" he said sarcastically.
"Thats really funny Adam! Now where is he?"
"i dont know. he wasn't in our science class."
i agressivly yelled out, "Shit!" then turned around and stormed down the hallway back to my locker.
"OKay, good talk, i'll see you later!" Adam called out to me, still with a tone of sarcism in his voice.
after i got my things i ran out to the parking lot. Morty was gone.
"URG!" i just got stares.
"im sorry! just had to let it out!" and people continued to stare, i just walked away.
where could he have gone! I pulled out my phone to call him.
it rang once... a second time... voice mail
crap. why would he ignore my call? something has to be going on.
I didnt know what else to do, so i rode my bike to his house.
i knocked.
no answer.
i knocked again.
i herd footsteps.
"Eli! i know your in there!" i yelled.
The door opened.
An middle aged man opened the door. he was in sweat pants and a muscle shirt. he smelt like beer. it was obvious that he hadnt shaved in days.
"oh hello sir, I'm Clair Edwards."
"yeah, that little shit mentioned you. What do you want?"
"well, i just wanted to know if Eli was here, he left school early and he isn't answering his phone and i kinda need to talk to him."
"he's not here."
"oh well do you have any idea where he might be."
"i have no idea. I dont really pay attention to his tantrums, but you seem like i nice girl clair so i guess he went right somewhere."
there was a long, ackward pause, then finally, "try his uncle's ... he seems to like him."
"Thank you sir, it was nice meeting you."
I stept down from the doorstep and headed north towards Eli's uncles house. His dad seemed nice i dont know why Eli is always complaining about him.
I turned down his uncles road. Bingo. there it was, Morty parked on the side of the road.
I got to the house and i was surprised to Eli sitting on the hood of his car.
i got off my bike and slowly walk towards him.
"I didnt know where else to go, but hes not home, like usual..." he said, still looking down at the pavement.
"Eli" i paused, "whats going on?"
silence.
"come on Eli! you can tell me anything! nothing will make me stop loving you!"
he took a step forward and turned to face her.
"Thats just it Clair! You love me! it just doesn't make sense! Your like the total opposite of what i am used to! You smile all the time, you stand up for people you hate,
you think the best of people no matter the situation and... and.. and you wear pink! im sorry but i repulse that colour!" he smirked.
I just stood there in disbelieve... he had the nerve to smirk at me !
"so what you are saying is ... you dont love me because... i wear .. pink?" i said with a very questioning tone.
"No, clair that was just a side point. I just feel like.. like i have to change to be with you."
"You deffinitally do not!"
"Clair... yesterday i wore a plad shirt because you said you parents think black is the colour of the devil and on the way home from your house Tuesday a Miley Cyrus song came on the radio and i didn't change it! I am changing clair!"
"well maybe your changing for the best."
"You dont undestand" he practically yeller it. "I dont want to change and if you want me to change than..." we just stared at eachother, he very sternly, I very confuzed. "i guess im not the right guy for you."
we stood there for a minute. I was taking in the information i was just told before i were to say something i would regret, but it just came out,
"well if you feel that way...then maybe we should just break up!"
"maybe we should."
"fine."
"fine."
i stood there staring at him not wanting to leave...
"so it is settled then, goodbye Eli"
and i was on my bike and gone before i could hear him say goodbye, if he even said it.
My bike ride home was very difficult with the many toughts running throught my brain and wondering what just happened, along with fight back the tears. The last thing i needed was for my make-up to run down my face and for people to call the police saying that there was a maniack biking down the road.
Right when i got home i went straight to my room and started to ball!
it was 2 o'clock in the morning and i was trying to get to sleep but i just couldn't. How could Eli do this to me! He promised he would never hurt me! why did he even have to move here anyway! I would have been much better off not knowing him at all!
i didnt know life could be this harsh. I had everything one day than nothing at all the next. I dont understand, how could he hurt me like this! he said he loved me! i guess that is just it, he "loved" me.
passed tense. Not any more.