Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution. I'm gonna roll on the floor for a while, 'kay?

Just kidding. Not rolling. Writing. This new fic!

It's a answer column style fic! Where you ask the New Mutants questions and see what crazy answers you get! Since this is the first chapter, my co-writer and I asked the first two questions and... fudged the others a bit for the purposes of writing.

AND, my co-writer avatarjk137 (he's an author here too) will also be putting up a fic similar to this, entitled "Ask The Brotherhood". He won't not come out with his quite yet, but if you have any questions about around when it will be up, saunter over to his profile somewhere around this site.

Now without further ado, I bring you the first chapter of: Ask a New Mutant!

Bobby came sliding into the room on his knees. "What's up, people? Today marks the start of: Ask the New Mutants! The best idea to come since… like, ever!"

"What he said!" Amara agreed. "Now, let's get started answering those questions!"

Ray looked around. "But… nobody asked a question yet. It's the first chapter."

"Regardless!" Bobby took a piece of paper from is pocket. "Dear New Mutants. Why don't you guys get any lines? Sincerely, Yellowfur." Bobby read off.

"Actually, we're not all cursed to being without lines," Amara said. "Bobby is practically an X-Men, Ray has been featured talking many times before (well, not many), and I got a whole episode all to myself!"

"I don't get any lines!" Rahne put in, crossing her arms.

"And some of us are cursed. What next?"

Cannonball glanced at his paper. "Dear New Mutants, because you guys get so few lines and so little facetime, many fanfiction authors have to make up or exaggerate part or all of personalities. Does this bother you? Yours truly, avatarjk137."

"Not at all." Ray responded, waving his hand as if waving away the idea. His face drooped. "But Yellowfur's recurring theme of me being depressed is really starting to get to me."

Roberto looked puzzled. "Dear New Mutants, why do you suck? From Pietro."

Amara smiled widely. "Shut up, Pietro!"

"This one is targeted specifically for Roberto and Rahne. 'Roberto, why is it that you get so few lines? Rahne, why do you only get one episode to talk in?" Yours truly, Chuck Norris.'"

Roberto struck a pose. "I don't need lines to be sexy!"

Rahne, doing a Silent Bob impression, shrugged and made a weird face at Roberto.

"This one is for Ray!" Jubilee opened up a letter. "'Berzerker, how do you get your hair that way? Put it step-by-step please. Cordially yours, Pete Wentz.'"

"Uh…" Ray looked troubled. "Well, first you need to dye the front of your hair orange and the rest light blond. Then get lightning powers and nature will do the rest!"

"I think that's enough questions for today," Jubilee said, turning to Amara.

"Oh, yes! Join us again next time for 'Ask a New Mutant'!" she responded.

Cannonball stood up. "Remember readers, there is no column if there are no questions to be answered! Send in your questions to 'Ask a New Mutant'!"

He's not lying, people. Send 'em in.

And if this format is against the rules, which is entirely plausible, please don't report me. It's all in good fun.