Some random ficlets on our favourite mercenaries begin silly and playing pranks :3

Enjoy.

VanguardShores

Shenanigans

Demoman

"Come on Cyclops, hit that freakin' thing!"

"What der yer think I'm tryin do, boyo? It's easier said than done."

BLU Scout and Demoman were in the living area at 2Fort, currently they were the only ones there. Bare grey walls with a couple of skewed pictures hung on thin nails. The faded blue couches were a little worse for wear but as comfortable as anything from all the use. A crackly television set was left on and alone by the young sprinter who was egging the blindfolded Demoman on.

Any normal person would see a spiky bomb and run away, possibly calling the authorities.

Demoman wasn't your average person.

He thought it would be a simply marvellous idea to string a live critical sticky bomb to a ceiling light and play piñata with it. With his Scotsman's Skullcutter.

Scout was jittering about due to some Bonk! he drank earlier, well away from the axe and bomb but he wanted to have some fun. And that meant watching Demoman take the blame for any damages caused.

"Just a little to your left. No no no, too far left man!"

"Be quiet boy and give meh some real directions." The Scot swung his axe vertically with force, only managing to air. He then swung it horizontally, clipping a spike on the bomb's underside.

"Oooh! So close! Just a little higher..." Scout directed. Sensing that the coming event would be spectacularly harmful, he slowly crept away to hide behind a couch. The slightly inebriated Scot staggered and again clipped a spike, this time on the bomb's side. Flailing around, Demoman stumbled over his own feet and accidentally let go of the axe which flew through the air and lodged itself in the wall next to the door. Fortunately it missed Heavy just as he entered the living area. Heavy raised his eyebrows and scanned over the scene before him; an axe stuck in the wall, Demoman with a kitchen towel tied over his remaining eye on his behind attempting to stand back up, and sticky bomb suspended from the ceiling and Scout hiding behind a sofa peeking to see if it's safe to come out.

"What is Highland man doing, Scout?" Heavy asked, still with a raised brow.

"I am tryin' ter kill the bomb to death. Now gimme mah axe Baldy." Said Demoman making a grabby hand while steadily standing up while Heavy frowned on the nickname. Scout leaped from his hiding place and tried to pry the axe out of the wall, but it was wedged too deep.

"Hey couldya give us a hand Fatcakes. I wanna watch if Demo can hit it." Holding onto Heavy's enormous arm and attempted to drag him.

"I too want to see if Demoman can cut the bomb. Could be very entertaining! Long time since had good fun!" Heavy grinned and let go of any ideas of health & safety on the base and, with one hand, drew the axe from the wall like Arthur with Excalibur.

"Oi! Doon't touch me axe! It's very precious. Named her Gwendoline. Have I ever told you the story aboot a girl I knew from way-back-when called Gwendoline? She was soooo beautiful an-" Scout cut him off.

"Nah man, tell us that story later. Now play piñata! I'm dyin' to see if you can hit it." Heavy hastily handed the handicapped Demoman the axe and spun him on the spot to face the bomb.

"Dance leetle man. Dance for Heavy and Scout!" Bellowed the Russian, toddling over to the sofa where Scout was hiding. The young man frantically beckoned Heavy to kneel behind the couch just as Demoman started swinging wildly.

"Aaahh! Not one of ya's gonna survive this!"

"Aaw crap..."

"Oh this is bad"

Demoman really started to let loose, swinging and slashing the air, missing the bomb by centimetres. Occasionally he would clip a spike making the bomb jerk on the string, making the now nervous Scout and Heavy flinch in slight (and rising) panic.

"I don't think this is a good idea anymore, big guy." Scout knew Demoman was bad when he was drunk, but given his axe, a bomb and ceasefire boredom, things got downright dangerous.

"Da. This is bad. Will seats protect us?" Asked Heavy over Demoman's calls and faux battle cries.

"Hopefully. Hard hat and Soldier needs to save us right about now. We can't make it to the fuckin' door without having our heads taken off."

Right on que Engineer opened the door and stepped into the living room, hard hat missing and goggles resting on his forehead.

"Nah fellas, what in tarnation-"

BOOM!

After the smoke and dust settled, Scout and Heavy peaked over the top of the sofa with raised eyebrows at the scene before them. Demoman was on his back, axe still in hand, with a blacked sooty front and a broken forearm it looked like. Engineer was blown back into the hallway, only his feet could be seen sticking out of the door. The living room was trashed; shrapnel stuck in the wooden table, the television (to Scout's delight) had escaped most of the flying metal and was just dusty. The metal magazine filing cabinet had a few dents in it while Scout's and Heavy's sofa's upholstery was shredded to bits, fluff peaking through the holes.

"Soldier and Doktor will not be happy." Heavy sulked.

"Looks like Cyclops finally got that bomb." Remarked Scout.

Who do you want next? Spy, Scout or Engineer? :)