A/N: Just a short introspective piece on Jean. It's really not much, but it sated my "twenty minute random writing a day" project. :D
Jean Margaret Gray.
Straight "A" student. Psychic. X-Man. Hero.
These are all things that are said.
Determined. Fair. Kind. Beautiful.
These are all things that are known.
In love with Scott Summers. In control of her powers. Best friends with Kitty Pryde. Perfect.
These are all things that are thought - but aren't true, never true, no matter how many people view them that way. No matter how many people view her that way.
Oh, she does love Scott. Has loved him since she was just a young girl, first brought to the institute to help hone the powers that her parents knew all but nothing about. She's always thought that he was brave and strong, if a little on the stubborn side, and maybe just a tad bit too boastful.
Always thought that he was great, and wonderful, and handsome - but never once wanted to date him, let alone marry him.
Jean loves him, but as a brother. Nothing more than that.
And how can she? Scott was the one who helped pick her up off the ground that day, years and years and years ago, when she fell out of the tree in the backyard she wasn't supposed to be climbing in. He was also the one who went and told Logan exactly what had happened; ratted her out without a second thought, but only after he'd made sure she was okay, with nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises on her palms and knees.
He's also the only one that really understands her powers, aside from the Professor. The one that she goes too when she accidently walks through someones dream at night, and lands in a nightmare that isn't hers but that she still cannot escape from and, God, what if she'd gotten trapped in there forever?
Worse yet, what if they realized that she wasn't supposed to be there?
It would be horrible. Jean doesn't think that she could ever look someone in the face again after that. Has a hard enough time as is, when they don't realize she isn't a part of their dream. When she's the only one that understands how truly out of her grasp her powers are.
Kitty certainly doesn't understand and doesn't try - mainly because they aren't friends with each other. Can barely stand each other. But they both put on a front that says "she's my buddy", and they smile and laugh and pretend to know each other's secrets.
Because, even if Kitty doesn't understand Jean, she understands what others want.
And what they want is a school of perfect friends, led by the two first students there (who are perfectly dressed, perfectly behaved, perfectly in control of their powers and their minds and their actions at all times), and giving off a perfect view of the well-behaved mutant.
They want Jean to be friends with everyone.
So she tries.
They want her to behave.
So she does.
They want her to be perfect.
So she is.