It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not like this. She was supposed to die and her sister was supposed to live. It was her turn to save them all to be the hero. But Buffy had to take it away from her again, she had to save the day. He watched her as she sat down on the couch not thinking, not moving, barely breathing. A scatter of people would occasionaly sit by her and whisper small nothings into her ear and she would nod and attemp a week smile. None of them knew her, knew her pain, even before the death. Dawn couldn't continue like this watching them all die slowely, as little pieces of her faded away. No one wanted her no one needed her. For all they cared she could have been the one to die, she was supposed to have been the one. The one to fall into the purple electricity. Buffy had to jump to take the glory to be their savior, as always. Dawn was always the killer not the savior. They all scuried around like verman as they ate and chatted. She sat and stared watching nothing just trying to ignore the thoughts that flickered through her head.
"Dawnie, I'm gonna take Anya home now." Xander knelt down in front of her. "Is that all right?" He asked calmly. Xander tried not to move, was close to her but never touched her. "Dawnie?"
She didn't want to speak didn't want to move. If she moved it was all too real, if she was still, she didn't exist, never existed. But what could she do she had to live, to breathe or else it was all in vain. No matter, it was anyway. "Yeah, it's fine." She nodded looking down at the painfully still Xander.
"All right." He nodded and walked away.
She sat still again waiting until the next person would leave, they all left, they never stayed. Nothing was forever. This was all fake, not reality. None of these people were real they were all fake. Dawn didn't want these burdens didn't need them. She never wanted to be normal wanted something special something different. But not this not this burden. She was the key, the key to hell and because of it she had killed her sister.
"Hey Nibblet." He breathed and unecisary breath on her neck as the sound of his voice made her jump. She didn't know he was there, always sneaking up on her with out notice.
"Spike." She spoke breathy. He was there, he hadn't left like they all had, the only ones left that she knew were Spike, and Angel some where in the midst of strangers. But Spike was here beside her on the sofa breathing intently on her bare neck.
And he just sat there beside her stairing as she tried to stay alive. Everyone else had to talk to ask questions like 'how are you?' and 'are you all right?'. Spike knew better then that, knew she was far from all right. She was cold. Distant. To everyone, but never to him. The way she spoke his name, it was full of passion, full of feeling, that passion that they all thought had jumped off that bridge with Buffy. It was still there and the only one who could tap into it was the blonde vampire sitting beside her.
"Dawn." Cordelia sat beside her. "How are you dear?" She asked as they all did. It was almost like they had a script to follow and before Dawn could say anything he jumped in.
"How the bloody hell do you think she is you stupid bint." Spike growled at the former cheerleader.
"I was just-" She attempted an exuse as Dawn just sat in awe.
"You were just leaving." Spike spoke for her twisting her words.
"Angel is going to hear about this." Corderlia stormed of in anger and frustration.
Spike hissed at her as she walked away in her black pant suit. He breathed heavily, only breathed for her no one else. Didn't need to breathe being a vampire. But he knew the way his breathing made her feel the cold against her skin made her shiver. No one ever touched her no one ever needed to. Spike didn't even touch her was afraid it was a sin, afraid it was wrong. But he let his breath settle against her skin, let his growls coarse through her bones. Buffy was gone now. They both loved her differently. Spike cared for her because he had always cared for her. Dawn loved her becuase she was her, was hers. No one else really ever had her, ever loved her. Dawn had, they were blood bonded, they were sisters, they were one in the same. Yet so different.
Breathing seemed useless to Dawn she wished she didn't have to. The intake of oxogen into her lungs only stung. Spike's breathing on her neck only stung, yet the feeling was so wonderful. Almost euphoric. He reached over and kissed her cheek gently.
"No one touches me." She admitted sadened. As she refused to cry. "Not even you." Dawn looked into his piercing blue eyes.
Spike moved his hand onto her knee underneath her short black slip of a dress. "What a fool iv'e been." Spike smirked a sly look on his pale face.
"Dawn." Angel smiled as he walked over to her and nodded to Spike quickly. "Can we talk in private?" Always questions never answers, too many questions for her to answer.
"No." Spike answered for her. "Talk to her here, make everyone else leave, and talk to her here." Spike glowered up at his sire.
"Spike stop being so demanding you don't own this house." Angel remained as calm as possible stairing the blonde down with hate inside his dark eyes.
"No it's mine and I would rather everyone just leave." Dawn sighed not defeated yet. Or was she. Maybe she had been defeated long before her sister's death, long before her fake life began.
"Okay everyone thanks so much for comming but Buffy's sister would like to be alone at this time." Angel spoke loudly echoing throught the room and Dawn flinched and the room cleared out quickly.
The people who pretended to know Buffy to care about her all left. The lies they weaved coared through the fakely lighted room. Dawn hated them all, for their faces not just the things they did. She hated the way they pretended to care just to earn brownie points with their maker. She didn't really notice them there though, the only ones who spoke to her were the only ones who really cared or atleast wanted to care. The rest didn't dare come near her.
"There all gone, now can I speak with you a lone." Angel looked at Dawn then to Spike. His gesture was obvious he wanted Spike to leave them alone. He wanted a chance to speak to her with out Spike cutting in every time he tried to speak.
"No, you can say it with me here." Spike demanded. Heat in his eyes as he staired down Angel.
"Please just say whatever it is you want to say Angel." She spoke more then she had all week. She was looking up at the dark vampire as she the frown on her face remained the same. Too much frowning for such an angelic face. Spike thought to himself stairing at her still posture.
"All right fine." Angel gave in. "Giles and I have come to a conclusion." Giles appeared from the shadows as if he had been there all along.
"What's that?" She asked coldly. Her distance was on purpose so she didn't have to feel.
"We think it would be best for you if you come with me in L.A and live there, I can take care of you, me Cordy and Wesly." Angel smiled hoping she would accept the offer.
"No!" Spike hollered fury ringing through his tone as he jumped to his feet. He stared Angel down. "Damn you for trying to take her away." Spike hissed.
Dawn was his. Spike didn't plan on letting someone take her away not Angel, especialy not him. He had taken everything away he had ever had. So maybe Dawn didn't know she belonged to him, but everyone else did. There was a silent claim layed on her the day he saved her life from Angelus years ago. He layed claim on her in an innoscent way then. Now sure it was different more possesive. A prior claim grown into something deeper more selfish.
"Spike this is not your decision. Dawn we need you to come with me." Angel tried to speak gently even though he was growing angry. "It's what is best for you."
Dawn stood up. "I can't believe this." She stumbled as she realized she was far too week to jump to her feet so soon. "I wont go."
"It's not your choice I'm afraid. Your only fifteen." Angel shook his head. "Your a minor and wev'e already convinced your father to sign the papers." Angel admitted staring down Spike in a defiance only he understood.
"What papers?" Dawn asked confusion trailing through her voice. She was scared she was tired and she was broken.
"Adoption, over to Giles, though you'll be living with me and Giles will be in England, no one will have to know that." Angel smiled in triumph.
Dawn was beggining to grow week as she looked around the room. Her world was falling apart. They were taking her away they were making her live with Angel. She had always loved Angel but he was taking her away now. He was taking her away from Sunnydale, just what she always wanted. But she didn't want to go now she wanted to stay. Stay where she could still feel her sister, stay where reality was less real. She came to her senses as she heard a growl from behind her. She felt arms wrap around her waist.
"Try and take her." Spike defied. "Try and I will rip you apart." Dawn shivered under his touch. He was touching her again. Someone was touching her for once. Not afraid of how she would react. He was protecting her as he always seemed to do. Her knight in shinning armor. Accept it was always for Buffy, she was gone, and this was different.
"Dawn, come on now don't be foolish, is this who you want to take care of you?" Angel spoke waving a desperate hand towered Spike. "He just threatened to kill his own sire."
"Jealous Angel for once I have something you can't take away." And he couldn't Dawn was his. She still didn't understand this ownership thing these vampires always played.
"Spike don't be a fool. She will never be yours. She's Buffy's sister and Buffy wanted me to take care of her. If anything she's mine and she will come with me." Angel snarled. Dawn flinched. What were they saying. They were fighting over her. Why? Was it because she was the last piece of Buffy left on this earth, or was it something else?
"No." Dawn shouted almost crying. "I won't!" She yelled imobilized by her fear of leaving Spike for eternity.
"Dawn come on now." Angel beckoned gently.
"NO!" She yelled again. She backed into Spike weekly. Grasping onto him as he stood behind her.
Spike smiled slyly. "Yours huh?" He spoke sarcastic.
"Dawn dont be rediculous, stop pulling away from me. Think about this." Angel spoke frantic and angry. "You just upset is all."
"No, I can't leave him Angel. I can't leave Spike." Not the only one who touches me. He was the only who touched her now and she needed that. She needed to be held.
"What is this rediculous blind spot with Summers women?" Giles shouted. "Joyce, she always thought he was a fantastic bloke. Buffy always wanted him alive so that can't be bad. And you, youve been fascinated with him since Lord only knows when." Giles frowned as usual, that man never smiled.
"It doesn't matter. The Nibblet wants to stay here. I am not letting either one of you take her from me." Spike threatened them with the yellow flash in his eyes.
"Dawn I am not letting this continue its sick." Angel persisted. "It it wrong, you two like this." Angel eyes grew into slits. "If we have to fight Spike then we will."
Spike smiled to caught up on Dawn trembling beneath him to really hear Angels words. "Oh sodd off peaches." Spike growled.
"No this is it Spike. You and me outside." Angel demanded.
"Fine but she has to be there I don't want Rupert stealing her while I'm making a mantel piece out of you." Spike snickered.
"Fine." Angel agreed walking outside waiting for Spike to follow him, more confident then he should be.
"Oh bloody hell." Spike followed letting go of Dawn.
"No." Dawn pleaded as Spike turned to face her whimper.
"Dawn, it's the only way." Spike answered.
"Don't leave me." She begged. Now that he had touched her she didn't want him to stop.
"Dawn it's all right, I'm just gonna beat him to a bloody pulp and then they'll leave." Spike spoke calmly.
Dawn followed him into the fresh air. She would follow him anywhere as long as he would touch her. She was safe she was real. Too real almost. She watched as Spike tossed his leather sweeper to the side and Angel did the same with his waste length jacket.
The two began to look at one another anger in there eyes. They were going to fight over her. Dawn was now the center of attention. They both wanted to take care of her and she wanted to stay here in this Sunnyhell. She would rot here for eternity for him.
"No!" Dawn stepped in between them. "You two fight and i'll get in the way." She spoke a tiredness in her voice that no amount of sleep could cure. "I'll get hurt." She frowned. She pushed her hair behind her ear. She revealed cuts in her arms that had healed.
"Dawn." Spike rushed to her side. "What is this?" He asked grabbing at her wrists.
"I wanted to know if I was real." She cried. "If you bleed then your real right?" Dawn tried to speek clearly.
"You are real, more real then me." Spike admitted. "Dawn you can't do this to yourself." He had to save her wanted to save her, was the only one who could. The only one who ever really wanted to.
"Spike I can't leave you." She whined tears streaming down her porcaline face. "If I leave then she's really gone." She fell into sobs burying her head into Spike's chest.
"It's all right baby." Spike comforted her holding onto her so that she didn't fall.
They stayed in that position for what seemed like hours to the others. They were in their own reality. Spike holding Dawn as she sobbed letting out the anguish that she had been holding in. Spike was almost crying himselg. For some reason the rest of them didn't find a reason to cut it. No matter how strongly they felt about Dawn staying with Angel in L.A , this just looked right. Felt right. Dawn and Spike may have been broken, they may have needed fixing behond belief. But it just seemed right that they would fix each other. Two broken souls trying to fix the damages done to them. They needed each other for some reason. There was something inside them that just fit. There was somehting so wrong about them both something no one ever understood, the outcasts.
"Dawn." Angel patted her shoulder as the sobbing ceased. "I am not going to make you come if this is really what you want." He nodded a fake smile playing across his dark features.
"It is." Dawn whipped her eyes. "I can't leave my home, this house was hers...is hers." Dawn corrected.
"Well we best be going then." Angel frowned. Something inside him always wanted to take everything away from Spike and this time he had failed. "I love you Dawnie." Angel saud hugging her pulling her small body into his.
"Love you too." She smiled returning the hug.
Angel turned and dissapeared into the darkness before they even realized he was gone. Dawn looked to see Giles but he had already left. Some time in the midst of her changes, her becomming a women, Giles had abandoned her. Didn't love her anymore, she was something he could never understand. Something about Dawn was so different that it made it so that no one could ever understand her. No one understood the darkness, the lost face.
"Little Bit?" Spike called her name and it sounded like a question.
"Spike." She replied. Dawn turned to face him. "So where do we go from here?" She asked a solem look on her petite face.
"Where ever fate leads us luv." Spike spoke the air of poetry leaking from his words.
"All right, why doesn't fate lead us inside." Dawn beckoned as Spike followed her into the Summer's home.
They sat on the couch and waited, for something, anything. They both knew one of them was going to have to talk sooner or later, by the rate it was going later was safer bet. The air was filled with death. No one here alive, accept Dawn. She was the only living soul in this house. Something about her was less alive then Spike. She had always been the passionate one on this house but loss was killing that. The only Summers' women left alive, the only one to carry on the name. Sadly she was the only who had never really been a Summers women. Spike had a thing for Summers women. There relationship had changed in the last few hours and something had killed the comfort between them.
"Spike?" Dawn spoke making sure he was listening.
"Mmhmm." He answered softly.
"What's happening?" Dawn asked almost afraid to hear the answer that crossed his lips.
"What do you mean Nibblet?" Spike asked her almost knowing already what she was getting at.
"Something's different between us and it scares me." Dawn admitted. "Were not just friends anymore, but I don't know what we are." Dawn could feel her stomouch turn into a swirl of knots, and she didn't understand why.
"I'm not sure Dawn." Spike admitted. "But something makes me think were gonna find out." He smirked. He may have been being kind and gentle but he still was the demon, and souless.
"Spike, it's wrong whatever it is, it feels wrong." Dawn tightened every muscle in her body as she looked over at Spike. Something made her feel like whatever was happening shouldn't be. Maybe there was just something she was missing something she was completely clueless to. Sin?
"Maybe it is." A crooked smile played across his face as he rolled his tongue over his teeth his lips still shut. "You can't tell me something about this doesn't feel so right." Spike slid his hand up the inside of her thigh.
"Spike?" Dawn looked confused her innoscence showing on her face.
"Oh come on Nibblet." Spike beckoned a sultry sound to his voice. "It's the fact that it feels so wrong that makes it feel so good." He moved his hands along her smooth legs. Awakening desires Dawn didn't know she had.
"Spike, what are you doing?" She asked nervous, confused, intregued.
"Nibblet?" He pleaded. "Don't pretend you don't want this." Spike leaned his body over hers placing a kiss on her unprepaired lips. Spike moaned low in his throaght. "Dawn." He whispered as there lips parted.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked confused, pleased, angry. So many emotions rushing through her she couldn't tell them apart. Something was not the same, and Dawn was to lost in her own thoughts to realize what was happening. When did Spike start seeing her as some one he wanted to kiss? To, touch like this.
"Kitten, do you really need a why?" Spike spoke sarcasm ringing in his voice. He growled licking his lips, the sound sent a shiver down her entire body.
"Spike you know me better then this." Dawn answered. And it was true he knew her better then anyone, even her sister.
"Oh, but I wanna know you even better." He moved his hand up the inside of her shirt.
Dawn jumped up before he could continue. "No, wait." She demanded. "I can't, we can't this isn't right." Dawn stepped back. Spike stood up and stalked towards her.
Spike pushed her up against the wall. "I know it's not right." He pushed his body up against hers, if he wasn't carefull he could accidently push to hard and hurt her frail body. They were so close it was almost closer then humanly possible, then again Spike wasn't human. "But you like it this way don't you Dawnie." Spike said almost hissing. "Always in the shadows, no one understands you. Well I do." He admitted. "I see what they all missed, I see why you were always so different. You want to play with the dark dirty little things that live in the shadows." Spike toyed with her his hands on her hips as he breathed on her neck whispering into her ear.
"Spike." She breathed out his name in one quick gasp. She tried too hard to fight this even though she wanted to give in so badly. Spike was all she ever wanted, but something about this felt so wrong something made this feel...dirty.
"Just relax." He whispered licking the side of her neck. "Let me take care of you." Spike offered, having a less innoscent meaning then it sounded.
"Just tell me why the sudden change." Dawn managed to speak.
"S'not sudden." Spike answered placing a kiss on her lips then pulling away, still lingering close enough that there lips were almost touching. "I love you." Spike whispered almost inaudable.
Dawn grew a sudden shocked look on her face. "You...y,y,you what?" Dawn stumbled over her words, this was strange for her, she was usualy so intelectual.
"Don't make me say it again, it'll soil my bad reputation." Spike smirked.