Usual Disclaimer.
Scene 1- Zonko's joke shop
Fred and George sat behind the counter of Zonko's joke shop. It was a quiet day in the village of Hogsmeade. In fact it was always quiet. The only excitement was when the school let the students go out of the grounds into Hogsmeade but that was only every so often. "God I'm bored," whined Fred as he lay slouched over the counter. "I know, "sighed his brother. "Hey you know we should make things more exciting round here. I mean when we were at Hogwarts there was never a dull moment. But now we have gone there's no fun there! Bet it's as boring as here." Fred started giggling to himself. "What's so funny?" George demanded. "I was just wondering what effect that Musical Madness Spell would have on the castle. You know the one were for 1 year the whole place would burst into songs at relevant moments in life. I think it would be great to see Dumbledore sing, or even Snape." Fred giggled. "Yeah! Doesn't the spell make them reveal their true feelings too? Bet Minerva would admit to loving Snape or something." George said. "Hey why don't we?" Fred shouted as he jumped up. "Why don't we sneak in tonight and activate the spell?"
~~*~~
Scene 2 - Somewhere in Hogwarts castle.
That night Fred and George sneaked into the castle and snuck up to the tallest tower. Together they cast the spell over the entire castle and grounds. "That should liven things up a bit now!" George said and they made their way back down the tower into the main school. "Hey Fred! Hey George! Are you two never apart?" Hermione called as she saw them emerge from a passage way. Suddenly swing music started to play. "I'm gonna kill you Hermione!" Fred shouted before.
Fred: Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall...
George: Like a kappa clings to the sea...
Fred: Like you'll never get rid of your shadow...
George: You'll never get rid of me!
Together: Let all the others fight and fuss. Whatever happens, we've got us.
George: Me and my shadow...
Fred: Closer than pages that stick in a book, we're closer than ripples that float in a brook.
George: ...strolling down the avenue.
Fred: Wherever you find him you'll find me - just look. Closer than a house-elf always hanging around his boss. Me and my shadow...
George: Closer than smog is to all of LA, closer than Draco to confessing he's gay...
Together: Not a spell can bust this team in two. We stick together like glue.
George: When it's sleeping time...
Fred: That's when we rise.
George: ...we start to swing.
Fred: You think you're so jazz, you!
George: Our clocks don't chime.
Fred: What a surprise.
Together: They ring-a-ding-ding, happy New Year!
Fred: Me and my shadow.
George: Now to repeat what I said at the start - Avada Kedavra won't break us apart.
Together: We're alone but far from blue. Before we get finished we'll make the town roar. We'll hit a few late spots and then a few more. We'll start out at Leaky's or maybe Three Brooms. Life is gonna be a wow-wowee for my shadow and me! The corridor exploded with cheers and whoops and shouts of "Encore!" as George and Fred finished dramatically. George leant against the wall exhausted, but Fed tugged on his arm, eyeing up a crowd of girls who were waving quills and bits of parchment for their autograph. "I could have told you I was gay," Draco said.
Fred: Mate that was ace can we do it again?
George: No, I'm too tired.
Fred: Oh, please, George!
George: No, I'm swung out.
Fred: Oh, come on! I'll give you some money.
George: Don't need any money.
Fred: How about a cup of tea?
George: Not thirsty.
Fred: ...I won't tell anyone you're gay...
George: Fu...!
He jumped up hurriedly and the music started again.
Together: Before we get finished we'll make the town roar. We'll hit all the late spots and then a few more. We'll start out at Leaky's or maybe Three Brooms. Life is gonna be a wow-wowee for my shadow and me!
"What the hell just happened?" Hermione asked when they had finished. "Well we got bored and thought we would liven things up by placing a spell on the castle. It makes you reveal true feelings in song." Fred grinned. "We didn't expect to get caught by it." "See you lot later!" George called as he pulled Fred away from the crowd. "Enjoy the spell and tell us how it goes!"
~~*~~
Scene 3 - Gryffindor common room
Hermione stormed into the common room. "Do you know what your brothers have done?" she fumed? "Erm broke into Gringotts and made the goblins dance?" Ron said innocently "No they have put a spell on this castle so that we will show our true feelings in song, like a musical! My life is gonna be hell!" Hermione said. Harry had gone very pale. "So whatever we feel we are gonna have to tell everybody in a song?" he said his eyes wide with fear.
~~*~~
Scene 4 - Gryffindor common room
Hermione sat almost alone in the common room that night dreading the next day. Parvati and Lavender were reading into the corner and Ginny was finishing an essay. She knew she would reveal to the whole school what she had been denying even to herself for years, for 7 years in fact. Soft music began to play and she tutted to her self before.
Hermione: If there's a prize for rotten judgment I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that!
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of
Hermione: No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You swoon, you sigh Why deny it, uh-oh
Hermione: It's too cliché I won't say I'm in love
I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming get a grip, girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out Oh
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That ya got, got, got it bad
Hermione: No chance, now way I won't say it, no, no
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Give up, give in Check the grin you're in love
Hermione: This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You're doin flips read our lips You're in love
Hermione: You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Girl, don't be proud It's O.K. you're in love
Hermione: Oh At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love
"I hate this spell," she grumbled.
"I thought we sounded pretty good then," Lavender grinned.
~~*~~
Scene 5 - the staff room
The staff were also feeling the effects of the song spell. Minerva was in the staff room as Severus walked in. she and Severus had been passionate partners for a while, now they barely said a word to each other. Suddenly.
Minerva: It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it's over now
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out
"What exactly was that?" Severus asked as the last note died away.
"I don't know Severus it's been happening all over the castle." Minerva said bemused.
~~*~~
Scene 6- the potions classroom
Harry, Ron and Hermione all walked into the potions classroom the next day. Both Harry and Hermione looked edgy. They were straining their ears for signs of music.
"Shut up!" Snape bellowed as he burst into the room, "I know there is a curse on the castle so just get on with your work and it won't bother you."
After about half an hour the inevitable happened. Hermione and the other girls jumped up and started dancing as Hermione started to sing and looked directly at Snape as she did..
All I do is dream of you The whole night through With the dawn, I still go on Dreaming of you You're every thought You're everything You're every song I ever sing Summer, winter, autumn and spring.
And were there more Than twenty-four hours a day, They'd be spent in sweet content Dreamin' away
When skies are gray When skies are blue Morning, noon and nighttime too All I do the whole day through Is dream of you
"Miss granger?" Snape asked shocked.
"Sorry Professor but." Hermione began before.
I have always loved you! I have always loved you!
"Miss Granger sit down and don't open your mouth for any reason!" Severus snapped.
Tears welled in Hermione's eyes. Had rejected her. How could she live now? She ran out of the potions class room.
\"what the hell?" Ron asked staring after Hermione. "She loves him? How? Why?"
"Dunno sometimes love doesn't act the way you want." Harry said looking somewhere over Ron's shoulder.
"What you looking at Potter? Wishing you could look this good?" Malfoy sneered.
"In your dreams!" Harry retorted, "I look better than you without even trying!"
Harry: I'm superior, you're inferior. I'm the big attraction, you're the small. I'm the major one; you're the minor one, I can beat you shootin', that's not all.
Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do any thing better than you.
Draco No you can't.
Harry: Yes I can.
Draco: No you can't.
Harry: Yes I can.
Draco No you can't.
Harry Yes I can, yes I can.
Draco: Anything you can sing I can sing louder. I can sing anything louder than you.
Harry: No you can't.
Draco: Yes I can.
Harry: No you can't.
Draco: Yes I can.
Harry: No you can't.
Draco: Yes I can, yes I can.
Harry: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.
Draco I can do it quicker and get even sicker. I can live on bread and cheese.
Harry: And only on that?
Draco: Yes.
Harry: So can a rat.
Draco Anyone you can lick, I can lick faster.
Harry I can lick anyone faster than you.
Draco: Prove it!
The whole class looked totally stunned. Not only had they just argued in song but Draco asked Harry to prove he could lick someone! This spell was taking some damn weird turns.
~~*~~
Scene 7 - somewhere in the forbidden forest
No one knew but in the Hogwarts grounds Voldemort was planning to attack the castle. They had created a secret base in the forbidden forest.
"So my faithful followers do we know what we must do?" Voldemort spat at his death eaters.
"Yes master!" they all said groveling.
"Well then listen to me."
Voldemort: I know that your powers of retention Are as wet as a warthog's backside But thick as you are, pay attention My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions The lights are not all on upstairs But we're talking kings and successions Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime Be prepared for sensational news A shining new era Is tiptoeing nearer
Death Eaters: And where do we feature?
Voldemort: Just listen to teacher I know it sounds sordid But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues! And injustice deliciously squared Be prepared!
Lucius: Be prepared for what?
Voldemort: For the death of the Headmaster!
Crabbe: Why? Is he sick?
Voldemort: No, you fool, we're going to kill him... and Harry too!
Goyle: Great idea! Who needs a king?
All the death eaters: No Headmaster, No Headmaster, nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Voldemort: Idiots! There will BE a Headmaster!
Lucius: But you just said...
Voldemort: *I* will be Headmaster! Stick with me, and you'll never be sneered at again!
Death Eaters: YEA!!!!!! Long live the Headmaster! It's great that we'll soon be connected With a king who'll be all-time adored
Voldemort: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected To take certain duties on board The future is littered with prizes And though I'm the main addressee The point that I must emphasize is You won't get a sniff without me So prepare for the coup of the century Be prepared for the murkiest scam Meticulous planning Tenacity spanning Decades of denial Is simply why I'll Be king undisputed Respected, saluted And seen for the wonder I am Yes my wand and ambitions are bared Be prepared!
Death Eaters Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared Be prepared!
"What the hell just happened?" Voldemort asked. "How can I be an evil wizard and strike fear into people when I burst into song?"
The Death Eaters looked at each other trying to explain what had just happened.
Disclaimer of songs. Me and my shadow - this version is Robbie Williams but Mieko Belle changed the words. I won't say I'm in love- is from the film Hercules. It must've been love- Roxette, All I do is dream of you - is from Singin' in the Rain I will always love you - Whitney Houston Anything you can do I can do better - from Annie Get Your Gun Be Prepared - is from the Lion King.
Scene 1- Zonko's joke shop
Fred and George sat behind the counter of Zonko's joke shop. It was a quiet day in the village of Hogsmeade. In fact it was always quiet. The only excitement was when the school let the students go out of the grounds into Hogsmeade but that was only every so often. "God I'm bored," whined Fred as he lay slouched over the counter. "I know, "sighed his brother. "Hey you know we should make things more exciting round here. I mean when we were at Hogwarts there was never a dull moment. But now we have gone there's no fun there! Bet it's as boring as here." Fred started giggling to himself. "What's so funny?" George demanded. "I was just wondering what effect that Musical Madness Spell would have on the castle. You know the one were for 1 year the whole place would burst into songs at relevant moments in life. I think it would be great to see Dumbledore sing, or even Snape." Fred giggled. "Yeah! Doesn't the spell make them reveal their true feelings too? Bet Minerva would admit to loving Snape or something." George said. "Hey why don't we?" Fred shouted as he jumped up. "Why don't we sneak in tonight and activate the spell?"
~~*~~
Scene 2 - Somewhere in Hogwarts castle.
That night Fred and George sneaked into the castle and snuck up to the tallest tower. Together they cast the spell over the entire castle and grounds. "That should liven things up a bit now!" George said and they made their way back down the tower into the main school. "Hey Fred! Hey George! Are you two never apart?" Hermione called as she saw them emerge from a passage way. Suddenly swing music started to play. "I'm gonna kill you Hermione!" Fred shouted before.
Fred: Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall...
George: Like a kappa clings to the sea...
Fred: Like you'll never get rid of your shadow...
George: You'll never get rid of me!
Together: Let all the others fight and fuss. Whatever happens, we've got us.
George: Me and my shadow...
Fred: Closer than pages that stick in a book, we're closer than ripples that float in a brook.
George: ...strolling down the avenue.
Fred: Wherever you find him you'll find me - just look. Closer than a house-elf always hanging around his boss. Me and my shadow...
George: Closer than smog is to all of LA, closer than Draco to confessing he's gay...
Together: Not a spell can bust this team in two. We stick together like glue.
George: When it's sleeping time...
Fred: That's when we rise.
George: ...we start to swing.
Fred: You think you're so jazz, you!
George: Our clocks don't chime.
Fred: What a surprise.
Together: They ring-a-ding-ding, happy New Year!
Fred: Me and my shadow.
George: Now to repeat what I said at the start - Avada Kedavra won't break us apart.
Together: We're alone but far from blue. Before we get finished we'll make the town roar. We'll hit a few late spots and then a few more. We'll start out at Leaky's or maybe Three Brooms. Life is gonna be a wow-wowee for my shadow and me! The corridor exploded with cheers and whoops and shouts of "Encore!" as George and Fred finished dramatically. George leant against the wall exhausted, but Fed tugged on his arm, eyeing up a crowd of girls who were waving quills and bits of parchment for their autograph. "I could have told you I was gay," Draco said.
Fred: Mate that was ace can we do it again?
George: No, I'm too tired.
Fred: Oh, please, George!
George: No, I'm swung out.
Fred: Oh, come on! I'll give you some money.
George: Don't need any money.
Fred: How about a cup of tea?
George: Not thirsty.
Fred: ...I won't tell anyone you're gay...
George: Fu...!
He jumped up hurriedly and the music started again.
Together: Before we get finished we'll make the town roar. We'll hit all the late spots and then a few more. We'll start out at Leaky's or maybe Three Brooms. Life is gonna be a wow-wowee for my shadow and me!
"What the hell just happened?" Hermione asked when they had finished. "Well we got bored and thought we would liven things up by placing a spell on the castle. It makes you reveal true feelings in song." Fred grinned. "We didn't expect to get caught by it." "See you lot later!" George called as he pulled Fred away from the crowd. "Enjoy the spell and tell us how it goes!"
~~*~~
Scene 3 - Gryffindor common room
Hermione stormed into the common room. "Do you know what your brothers have done?" she fumed? "Erm broke into Gringotts and made the goblins dance?" Ron said innocently "No they have put a spell on this castle so that we will show our true feelings in song, like a musical! My life is gonna be hell!" Hermione said. Harry had gone very pale. "So whatever we feel we are gonna have to tell everybody in a song?" he said his eyes wide with fear.
~~*~~
Scene 4 - Gryffindor common room
Hermione sat almost alone in the common room that night dreading the next day. Parvati and Lavender were reading into the corner and Ginny was finishing an essay. She knew she would reveal to the whole school what she had been denying even to herself for years, for 7 years in fact. Soft music began to play and she tutted to her self before.
Hermione: If there's a prize for rotten judgment I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that!
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of
Hermione: No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You swoon, you sigh Why deny it, uh-oh
Hermione: It's too cliché I won't say I'm in love
I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming get a grip, girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out Oh
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That ya got, got, got it bad
Hermione: No chance, now way I won't say it, no, no
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Give up, give in Check the grin you're in love
Hermione: This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You're doin flips read our lips You're in love
Hermione: You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Girl, don't be proud It's O.K. you're in love
Hermione: Oh At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love
"I hate this spell," she grumbled.
"I thought we sounded pretty good then," Lavender grinned.
~~*~~
Scene 5 - the staff room
The staff were also feeling the effects of the song spell. Minerva was in the staff room as Severus walked in. she and Severus had been passionate partners for a while, now they barely said a word to each other. Suddenly.
Minerva: It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it's over now
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out
"What exactly was that?" Severus asked as the last note died away.
"I don't know Severus it's been happening all over the castle." Minerva said bemused.
~~*~~
Scene 6- the potions classroom
Harry, Ron and Hermione all walked into the potions classroom the next day. Both Harry and Hermione looked edgy. They were straining their ears for signs of music.
"Shut up!" Snape bellowed as he burst into the room, "I know there is a curse on the castle so just get on with your work and it won't bother you."
After about half an hour the inevitable happened. Hermione and the other girls jumped up and started dancing as Hermione started to sing and looked directly at Snape as she did..
All I do is dream of you The whole night through With the dawn, I still go on Dreaming of you You're every thought You're everything You're every song I ever sing Summer, winter, autumn and spring.
And were there more Than twenty-four hours a day, They'd be spent in sweet content Dreamin' away
When skies are gray When skies are blue Morning, noon and nighttime too All I do the whole day through Is dream of you
"Miss granger?" Snape asked shocked.
"Sorry Professor but." Hermione began before.
I have always loved you! I have always loved you!
"Miss Granger sit down and don't open your mouth for any reason!" Severus snapped.
Tears welled in Hermione's eyes. Had rejected her. How could she live now? She ran out of the potions class room.
\"what the hell?" Ron asked staring after Hermione. "She loves him? How? Why?"
"Dunno sometimes love doesn't act the way you want." Harry said looking somewhere over Ron's shoulder.
"What you looking at Potter? Wishing you could look this good?" Malfoy sneered.
"In your dreams!" Harry retorted, "I look better than you without even trying!"
Harry: I'm superior, you're inferior. I'm the big attraction, you're the small. I'm the major one; you're the minor one, I can beat you shootin', that's not all.
Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do any thing better than you.
Draco No you can't.
Harry: Yes I can.
Draco: No you can't.
Harry: Yes I can.
Draco No you can't.
Harry Yes I can, yes I can.
Draco: Anything you can sing I can sing louder. I can sing anything louder than you.
Harry: No you can't.
Draco: Yes I can.
Harry: No you can't.
Draco: Yes I can.
Harry: No you can't.
Draco: Yes I can, yes I can.
Harry: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.
Draco I can do it quicker and get even sicker. I can live on bread and cheese.
Harry: And only on that?
Draco: Yes.
Harry: So can a rat.
Draco Anyone you can lick, I can lick faster.
Harry I can lick anyone faster than you.
Draco: Prove it!
The whole class looked totally stunned. Not only had they just argued in song but Draco asked Harry to prove he could lick someone! This spell was taking some damn weird turns.
~~*~~
Scene 7 - somewhere in the forbidden forest
No one knew but in the Hogwarts grounds Voldemort was planning to attack the castle. They had created a secret base in the forbidden forest.
"So my faithful followers do we know what we must do?" Voldemort spat at his death eaters.
"Yes master!" they all said groveling.
"Well then listen to me."
Voldemort: I know that your powers of retention Are as wet as a warthog's backside But thick as you are, pay attention My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions The lights are not all on upstairs But we're talking kings and successions Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime Be prepared for sensational news A shining new era Is tiptoeing nearer
Death Eaters: And where do we feature?
Voldemort: Just listen to teacher I know it sounds sordid But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues! And injustice deliciously squared Be prepared!
Lucius: Be prepared for what?
Voldemort: For the death of the Headmaster!
Crabbe: Why? Is he sick?
Voldemort: No, you fool, we're going to kill him... and Harry too!
Goyle: Great idea! Who needs a king?
All the death eaters: No Headmaster, No Headmaster, nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Voldemort: Idiots! There will BE a Headmaster!
Lucius: But you just said...
Voldemort: *I* will be Headmaster! Stick with me, and you'll never be sneered at again!
Death Eaters: YEA!!!!!! Long live the Headmaster! It's great that we'll soon be connected With a king who'll be all-time adored
Voldemort: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected To take certain duties on board The future is littered with prizes And though I'm the main addressee The point that I must emphasize is You won't get a sniff without me So prepare for the coup of the century Be prepared for the murkiest scam Meticulous planning Tenacity spanning Decades of denial Is simply why I'll Be king undisputed Respected, saluted And seen for the wonder I am Yes my wand and ambitions are bared Be prepared!
Death Eaters Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared Be prepared!
"What the hell just happened?" Voldemort asked. "How can I be an evil wizard and strike fear into people when I burst into song?"
The Death Eaters looked at each other trying to explain what had just happened.
Disclaimer of songs. Me and my shadow - this version is Robbie Williams but Mieko Belle changed the words. I won't say I'm in love- is from the film Hercules. It must've been love- Roxette, All I do is dream of you - is from Singin' in the Rain I will always love you - Whitney Houston Anything you can do I can do better - from Annie Get Your Gun Be Prepared - is from the Lion King.