Another Monday, all of them the same.

Same classrooms, same lessons, same teachers; nothing moving forward. It feels as though time is purposefully standing still, mocking my misery. The rain pelted like rocks against me as I stiffly walked through the car lot towards the main doors of the school. A solid form banged into my shoulder from behind me just before Jeremy sped past me, hood up against the rain, heading for the side doors on the edge of the building. The old feeling of grabbing his arm to ask what the matter was tugged at the back of my mind.

I didn't need to ask him what was wrong. I'd felt the pain of the answer every day since.

I let out a long, slow breath and continued on towards the doors.

The smiles I sent the crowds the grew tiresome as second period came to a close. The looks that were aimed at me were mixes of sympathy, weary, pity or just plain avoidance. I felt like I was suffocating with all the eyes burning into me and hushed whispers. I closed my locker door to see my best friend Bonnie leaning against the one beside me. There was no burning questions, no sympathy or pity brimming in her eyes, just a large grin with joy wafting off her in waves, as she leapt off the wall and hugged me. "Hey! How was the first two hours of torture?"

A sigh of relief floated out in a huff of air as I stepped back and relaxed the casual frame state that I had so longed to be in all morning. I could talk to Bonnie about anything and she would simply know when and if I needed comforting, "Well the students of Mystic Falls certainly know how to give a warm welcome back."

Sympathy began to edge around the corners of her eyes as they studied me seriously for a moment, "How you doing anyway?"

"I'm fine." I didn't want to think about it anymore than I had to, "It's Jeremy who I'm worried about." I looked past Bonnie's shoulder to see Jeremy's back as he trudged towards the end of the hall where the maintenance room was. He had been avoiding me and Jenna since the funeral. I felt like he couldn't hear me anymore. He'd just blocked out any help and seemed thankful for us knowing what his bedroom door closed meant.

Bonnie followed my gaze and sighed, "Is he still hanging with Vicky?"
I shrugged as Bonnie turned back towards me, "Don't know." I didn't know anything about this new Jeremy.

Next thing to catch my eye made my shoulder's slightly sag. Caroline was walking towards me at a fast pace, arms open in an embracing gesture, with sympathy mixed with a hint of pity written all over her features. I loved Caroline. I'd been friends with her ever since I was little, but it was hard for her to filter her blunt thoughts into speech. I was pulled into a hug before I'd even registered how close she was, her tidy blonde curls whipping me in the face as she did. "I'm so sorry Elena! You must be feeling awful." She pulled back and kept a small sympathetic smile in place before she continued on, "Are you planing to continue with your duties with cheerleading?"

I honed in the years of patience I'd acquired over the last decade of friendship with Caroline, smiled to myself (knowing that she meant what she said in kindness rather than spite) and cut off Bonnie's irritated retort that seemed about to bubble from her lips, "I'm fine Caroline."

She gave my hand a small squeeze then looped an arm through both mine and Bonnie's before steering us towards the cafeteria prattling about insignificant gossip. I liked to have thought she was telling me this babble to help get my mind off of things but Caroline really did seemed to think I was really 'fine'. I saw Matt leaning against the lockers ahead of us. He turned to the sound of Caroline's voice and gave me a half smile before letting his head drop and heading in the opposite direction. I felt angry at myself for not having the same feelings for him anymore. I wasn't sure I ever did.

Nothing really felt real anymore.

Dear diary,

First day back since the holidays. First day back since mum and dad died.

Most gave their condolences, others ignored, but I couldn't get over the amount of times I said I was fine. Every time someone asked how I was, all I could reply was, 'I'm fine', 'I'm okay'. But the thing is, I'm not fine. It's hard to justify what fine is. Fine means 'I'm dealing with it', but am I dealing with it? I don't think anyone wanted me to spill my guts about how I really am; they just wanted to seem courteous. If I told them how hard the last few months had been, and what was really going on inside, they'd run for the hills. So 'fine' is just an excuse for the town to get over it and move on.

I closed my diary and smoothed my hand across the cover. I lifted my head from my lap and stared at my parents twin tombstones in front of me. A large black crow landed on top of my mother's headstone and cawed. I waved my hand towards it in a shooing gesture but it simply stared back at me without flinching.

"Shoo!"

Its eyes were like small black orbs piercing holes into me for a moment before it took off into the trees behind me, causing me to duck my head in fear of being speared by its razor sharp beak.

The top of my spine tingled as the hairs on the back of my neck pricked up with Goosebumps. The feeling of someone's eyes watching me spun me around to face the empty trees behind me. I felt like each movement I made was being watched, like there was someone in the trees surrounding me. I stumbled away from the tombstones and back towards the roads leading me to my house.

Bonnie drove as carefully as ever as she gave me a lift to school, checking every possible direction of traffic around us and staying well beneath the speed limit. I turned to look at her as she studied the road. "Don't look at me like that Elena, I'm driving fine." I knew she was doing it for my benefit and I couldn't help feeling grateful for her cautious driving. However I didn't want to let her know just how much driving still terrified me.

We pulled up at the school next to a glossy red Ferrari that looked like you had to pay just to admire it. I opened my door only enough for me to slip out of, in fear of scratching the paint of the expensive car. I thought about the speeds that this could reach and had to stop the rising bile that tried to creep it's way out of my mouth. I spun and ran head on into Caroline, treading on her shoe.

"Ow! Elena, God you're clumsy." She brushed her hands over her black short skirt and glanced down at her shoes, making sure I hadn't scuffed them before lifting her eyes to the Ferrari. "It's great isn't it? It's this new guy's car I'm seeing." There was pride and self appraisal as she scanned her eyes over both me and Bonnie.

Bonnie was eyes almost popped out of her head as Caroline's words registered "What?"

Caroline seemed to be hoping for this kind of envy evident in Bonnie's eyes, "He just moved here. I met him last night and he's absolutely gorgeous."

I couldn't help the two mixing thoughts that crept into my head simultaneously. One of the was the shock in how fast Caroline moved when it came to guys. The second was I hoped he wasn't a bad influence on her.

"Oh my god!" Bonnie's slow pronunciation of each word made me follow the direction she was looking and understood exactly what she meant.

Walking across the pavement heading straight for us was one of the most gorgeous looking guys I think the three of us had ever seen. Clad only in black with a black leather jacket, dark short waves of hair, a lean figure that seemed to resemble Michelangelo's David, and the most incredibly piercing blue eyes I'd ever seen. A small pang of jealousy fought within me at the fact that this was who Caroline was dating. He stopped next to Caroline before she moulded herself to the side of his frame. He didn't embrace her in a side hold as she thought he would, but she seemed too absorbed in his beauty to notice. "Bonnie, Elena, this is Damon Salvatore."

"Hi" Bonnie's voice was so high and small I almost thought she didn't speak.

"Nice to meet you Bonnie." He gave her a smile with a wicked glint in his eye, leaving her visibly lost for breath.

"And this is Elena." Caroline gestured with a flick of her wrist towards me but kept her eyes locked on his face.

The wicked glint seemed to strengthen as his eyes bore into mine for a moment, his lips showing sign of a hidden smile, "The famous Elena Gilbert. Nice to finally meet you. Caroline's told me so much about you two." He kept his gaze on me as he spoke. I knew from the moment his eyes met mine that my instincts began belting every alarm in my brain; dangerous.

Everyone knew how much Caroline loved the fresh meat that wondered across her path, but Damon looked like he would cause Caroline more than just a heart ache.

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