Title: Glassy-Eyed Barbie Doll Monster
Summary:
"Even if you really were Gold and Crystal did exist", Silver would argue, "that's in the past and you can't live in the past, you're Ethan now. You're in love with a fairytale, man." It is a love that was able to transcend space and time, but not destiny. How Ethan came to remember her in ten pieces. - Mangaquestshipping, Soulsilvershipping
"In Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver, at some point during the player's journey, the starter Pokémon in Elm's lab that wasn't chosen by the player or stolen by the rival disappears without explanation, although it is hinted to have been given to someone else." - Bulbapedia, "New Bark Town" entry as of January, 2013
"Using the bicycle in the fourth gear…can cause the player to move too fast for the game to load the areas properly…. Through this, the overworld becomes a seamless [black] area. -Bulbapedia, "Tweaking" entry as of May, 2013
1. Barbie Doll Monster
(They strip you off your victories and your dignity – your entire life is discarded before your eyes. Muscles popping, ligaments screeching in resistance, they grind your bones and stretch your skin until you are barely recognizable. Your newly manufactured cheek bones angle inwards too cruelly, your eyes are unsettling yet beautifully wide. They have made you into a pretty Barbie doll monster of a human.
The trees and the buildings around you share your pain. They groan and shriek in resistance, but they too are melted down and restructured.
You turn just in time to see the life ripped out of her and the whispering fragments of the woman you love cast unwanted into the wind.
You never said goodbye.)
2. The Selection
After the Reconstruction…
New Bark Town is beautifully remastered, the grainy quality you didn't even realize was grainy until now all swept away and cleaned up.
Ethan's clothes are more fitted, the better graphics smoothing his face. Everything is crystal clear, but somehow…off.
Ethan nods at Lyra, his female counterpart, as they wait for the Selection. The process is quick; flashing, then darkness.
"Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?"
This time Ethan is selected.
Ethan vaguely remembers life before the Reconstruction; the unselected character would simply cease to exist, tucked away in the backlogs until the next Selection.
A pixilated, grinning female face (the fingers that gently guided her Pokemon to victory with such miniscule movements are shredded so cruelly in front of your eyes) eases into Ethan's head, but the memory evaporates before he can place it.
(You ask, you scream questions – why was she destroyed while you were changed? – but there is no one around to hear your cries.)
3. Like a Death Sentence
Ethan materializes in a room in New Bark Town while Lyra is doomed to a role of a side character, a minor piece of moving background in the story of Ethan's success. Color bombards him; everything, everything is louder and flashier and brighter and more beautiful.
The path from his house to Professor Elm's Laboratory is mesmerizing. Ethan's legs are sturdier, more capable of transporting him long distances. He notices a redhead peering mischievously through one of the lab's windows – Silver!
Ethan waves excitedly, but Silver merely scowls. Sighing good naturedly, Ethan heads into the lab, already looking forward to Silver defrosting throughout the story. In an impish mood, Ethan picks Totodile as his starter Pokemon just so Silver will have to pick Chikorita, one of the few Pokemon Silver actually hates.
A girlish giggle dances in his ears, causing Ethan to glance around in confusion. Professor Elm merely raises an eyebrow at Ethan's antics before calmly asking Ethan if he wants to nickname his Totodile.
Like old friends rising from the dead, two syllables gush unfiltered out of Ethan's mouth before he is even aware of their presence.
"Crystal".
Ethan claps a hand over his mouth, stuttering in surprise, but Totodile receives the nickname like a death sentence and is stuck with it.
(There is nothing left, only you and the burning, hollow sensation –you, the empty vessel that once held such hope, but now your sides burn with the remains of an insidious poison. She is not there, but you are, and you vow that your memories of her will transcend space and time.
…But not all promises are meant to be kept.)
4. That's how it's Always Been
"Crystal? What the hell? Could you have picked a girlier name? Beating your ass isn't even going to be fun this time around." Silver flicks a cookie at Ethan for emphasis. Lyra's mouth dips downwards in a slight frown, not that Silver notices or cares.
As they often do when the Player isn't around, the three are hanging out to blow off steam. Gold leans back on the Marill-themed picnic blanket Lyra brought to grab the cookie. Muttering insults at Silver, Gold plucks a chocolate chip off of the cookie and absentmindedly smears it on the embroidered Marill on the corner of the blanket, giving it a brown mustache.
"Ethan…" Lyra groans. Considering she brought the blanket, made the food, and picked Route 31 as the destination, she appears to be the only one taking the picnic seriously. He responds by hurling the rest of the cookie at Silver's face.
"Asshole!" Silver scowls before gruffly wiping his face, then grabs a new cookie and propels it at his rival's head. Before Lyra can do anything, the two are at war, using the cookies she spent most of the day baking as ammo.
"Hey! Guys, please stop!" Only when they run out of cookies to throw do the two finally stop, continuing the battle by glaring at each other.
"Well, the picnic was good until Gold ruined it." Silver huffs, brushing crumbs off of his jacket. Gold sticks his tongue out in response, but Lyra blushes.
"Really?" Lyra asks, starstruck that Silver enjoyed something she made. She nervously braids a pigtail. Gold stares at her in disbelief. Silver interprets her response differently.
"Yes, that dumbass is surprising adept at wrecking things." Silver continues to glare at Ethan, completely missing Lyra's odd reaction. The blush remains painted on Lyra's cheek, and Ethan pictures Lyra jumping on her bed and excitedly sharing Silver's compliment with her Marill once she gets home.
Ethan shifts uncomfortably. There has never been any one-sided crush or unrequited feelings between the three of them. They are as consistent and unchanging as the very ground they sit upon.
But, says a nasty voice in the back of Ethan's head, didn't the Reconstruction change everything, including the ground?
Ethan shakes his head to rid himself of the thought before turning to pounce on Silver. "I'm a dumbass? What about the time Lyra annihilated your entire team with a Jigglypuff?"
The memory earns a grimace from his rival, but before Silver can respond, Lyra interjects. "What?" She coos, turning her head sideways in confusion.
Ethan and Silver exchange glances before Ethan provides an explanation. "Remember? Before the Reconstruction? You were Selected, and caught a Jigglypuff. You killed his entire team with it!" Ethan smirks at the memory, but Lyra still looks puzzled.
"That can't be right, I've never battled before." Lyra asserts, shaking her head with wide eyes. Ethan and Silver gape at her in disbelief.
"What are you talking about? Of course you have!"
"Lyra, you really don't remember?"
"You've been Champion like five times!"
"You certainly battled before the Reconstruction."
Lyra folds her arms across her chest as if to shield herself. Ethan and Silver are both staring directly at her in shock, mouths wide open. She manages to latch onto one word from Ethan's shouting. "Reconstruction?" She asks hesitantly. "What do you mean?"
Ethan frowns. "Hello? Have you not noticed? Everything looks all smooth and better and Pokemon can even follow you around now!"
Delicate brown eyes narrow in confusion. "Yes," Lyra responds slowly, "That's how it's always been."
Silver leans forward to study Lyra intently, causing her to blush again from his attention. "Lyra, do you not have any memories from before the Reconstruction?" Silver asks with a frown.
"I don't know what you two are talking about." Lyra's fingers run across her lap to burn nervous energy. "I've never battled before, I've never been Champion, and I don't have much experience with Pokemon." Her voice is gentle but firm with no room for deception or misunderstanding. Her eyes shift nervously from Silver to Ethan and back to Silver.
Ethan stares at Lyra like he has never seen her before.
(There is a bright light. Destiny calls. Emotionless, you don't respond.)
5. There Couldn't Have Been Someone Else
"You don't think it's weird that Lyra doesn't have any memories from before the Reconstruction?!"
It was supposed to be a question, but because it is Ethan and he is annoyed, it comes out as more of a shout. The noise echoes in the cave and scares away the Zubat Silver had been just about to battle. The redhead groans, closes his eyes, and counts to ten before answering.
"If I agree with you, will you stop following me around and get the hell of Union Cave?"
"Come on Silver, be serious!"
"I am, asshole!"
Ethan ignores the insult and plops himself down on a nearby rock as Silver pulls out a Pokeball to engage a Zubat in battle.
"Go Chikorita! Tackle!"
Chikorita appears in a flash of light, then obediently lowers its head and propels itself towards the Zubat, causing the Zubat to emit a screech of pain upon contact.
Ethan rearranges himself so he is on his stomach and retrieves a Pokeball from his bag. He bats the Pokeball between his hands, completely ignoring Silver's fight.
"I wonder if something happened to her? Maybe-"
"Damn it, Ethan, can't you see I'm busy?" Silver cuts him off with a hiss before tossing a Pokeball at the weakened Zubat. After a few jerks, the Pokeball clicks.
Satisfied, Silver picks up the Pokeball and turns to Ethan with a frown. "What do you want?"
Ethan ignores the harsh tone and gets right to the point. "I remember the three of us – you, me, and Lyra – insulting each other, doing stupid things, and just having messing around. Lyra doesn't. But what about you?"
It isn't the direction Silver expected, and it shows on his face. Ethan's gaze is honest as he pockets the Pokeball and pulls himself into a sitting position. "What do you remember, Silver?"
Silver pockets the Pokeball before responding. "Random stuff, mostly. Battles with you and Lyra."
Nodding in agreement, Ethan presses on. "Okay, so we remember each other, and we both remember Lyra. That means she has to have been there and there's just something wrong with her memory, right?"
Searching for power and strength occupy most of Silver's time; it is not in his nature to question the ways of the world. A disinterested shrug slides off his shoulders.
In the silence, Ethan rolls onto his back. The oppressive darkness looms in every corner of the cave untouched by light as if waiting to consume them whole. Blue Zubat bodies hang to the visible parts of the cave like stars in the sky.
"There couldn't….Lyra was definitely the third person, right? There couldn't have been someone else?" The words usher themselves out of Ethan's mouth to drip ominously in the air.
Silver avoids eye contact.
"Silver, I'm being serious now…It was you, me, and Lyra, right? If the third person wasn't Lyra…That's impossible, isn't it? It had to be Lyra, didn't it, Silver?"
Although Ethan says his name, Silver recognizes the words are not meant for him. Silently, Silver gathers his belongings and exits the cave.
Ethan remains flat on his back and neglects to notice his friend's departure. "But then…who was it?"
(But it seems to not matter, the light comes closer to you anyway.)
6. The Grass Turns to Glass and Shatters
It is 12:07, so he is technically only seven minutes late for lunch, but Ethan still has three missed calls from Lyra. He grits his teeth and pedals faster, careful to maneuver his bicycle around the various holes.
Faster, faster, faster…..
Ethan is pedaling faster than he ever has before and his head is spinning and he suddenly feels dizzy and his legs are simultaneously heavy lumps of stone and crafted from lightning and snowstorms and there is the smell of honeydew melons floating lazily in the air but actually it is the stench of salt impaling his nostrils while his phone rings and rings and rings…
Ethan comes screeching to a halt when he sees it.
The majority of Route 31 is unaffected. However, a small section is black – not black like the color black, a fluid, ever-changing lack of something, as if the graphics failed to load. Looming ahead like an ominous storm cloud, it is a break in the fabric of time and space, reality's split seam.
Ethan can do nothing but stare.
He moves closer – This is that moment in a horror movie when you scream 'run away, don't go closer' at the screen he thinks – and the darkness reacts. Shapes shift and various shades of gray swirl around in an endless game of tag. Muted giggles drift out.
"Hello?" Ethan squints. Every once in a while, the murky outline of an arm or leg or torso forms in the darkness only to vanish within seconds. "Is anyone in there?"
The giggling ceases. Murmurs echo.
Ethan leans forward. "Hello?"
The forms of two blurry, misshapen legs appear. A gray torso soon adorns them like a crown. Just as two lines begin to sprout out of the top corners of the torso, the left leg appears pixelated. The right leg breaks off and floats away.
The giggling begins again, but takes on a more human quality – nervousness, embarrassment, anxiousness. The need to be accepted.
Ethan is now positive someone is trapped inside this pocket of another dimension. Nothing he has ever done has prepared him for this moment – how does he free the other person? What does he say?
"Er…how are you?" Immediately he wishes he had not spoken. It is a stupid, trivial question that undermines the seriousness of the situation.
Two floating gray circles appear in the darkness. A line curved upwards at both ends forms underneath.
There, looming before him in this ominous hole in reality, is a smiley face.
Ethan laughs out loud and the darkness soon joins in. It seems eager now, eager to please and communicate and be a part of this world with Ethan.
"What's your favorite Pokemon?" Ethan asks, enchanted. He does not particularly care about the answer, but rather wants to see how the darkness reacts.
The response comes faster, as if the darkness is becoming stronger. The shape is more defined, more distinctive – a bipedal figure with thick forearms, a long tail, and spikes embellishing its body.
"Feraligatr?" Ethan guesses.
The smiley face reappears.
"Who are you?"
The murmuring stops.
Kirrrrr-sssssszzztillll.
Ethan trips backwards over himself in shock, landing on his back. He stares up at the darkness. The voice he just heard did not belong to this world…It contained the singing death cry of a young Sentret abandoned by its mother and welcomed into the icy, unforgiving arms of winter…Embedded deep within was the cackle of whips splattering blood on innocent backs…
Yet it was clearly feminine.
And familiar.
Brashly, impulsively, Ethan rushes forward and sinks his outstretched arms into the darkness.
The sky melts into the grass as the grass turns to glass and shatters. Ethan, the sky, everything is on fire, but Ethan is freezing and it burns burns burns…But someone is holding his hand, like I promised, she whispers, and he remembers other promises from a previous life…
"Even when you're in some distant city and celebrating your victory over some Gym Leader, you'll remember me and the time we spent together, won't you?" Although she phrases it like a question, he has grown up enough to know it is more of a demand. He bites his lip, surprised a person as perceptive as her has not noticed how difficult it is for him to be away from her.
"Hey, let's make a deal…When I become Champion, you stop avoiding me and finally admit you're in love with me." Crystal flings a pretentious smirk at him, but he knows she is trying to hold back tears of frustration. His head slowly moves up and down in agreement to her deal. She blinks in surprise, as if wondering if it could really be that easy, before turning away from him. He does not need to look up to know she is smiling. She leaves without saying a word, but he knows she will be back to make good on their deal.
"Even after the Reconstruction, it will be you and me, forever and ever. I promise." He tells her, but the words are meant for him as well. She buries her head into his chest so he does not get to see her reaction.
Everything is muted and blurry and pixelated…but it is home.
In this dark alley between his world and a forgotten past, Ethan relives a compressed lifetime.
Ethan is an ore, a rock containing many tiny, glimmering minerals of who he used to be. In this intersection of her world and his world, she carefully extracts the minerals until she has amassed a sizeable collection of gold.
Gold.
He is complete, reawakened, the person he was meant to be.
(Right before the light touches you, you sense her presence. Her nonexistent fingertips kiss your face as imaginary lips brush your cheeks. This is her promise that your love will be everlasting, but you can't help but wonder. You are engulfed by the light.)
7. A Bullet Aimed Straight for her Non-beating Heart
"Ethan?"
He wakes up to see Silver's mildly concerned face. "We came looking for you when you didn't show up to lunch and found you lying here unconscious."
"Is he okay?" A female voice floats towards the two males.
Ethan's eyes widen. "Crystal!"
Two pigtails tied to a ridiculous hat loom into Ethan's view. "Crystal? Your Totodile?" Lyra asks.
Ignoring her, Ethan pulls himself into a sitting position and pushes Silver out of his line of vision.
The darkness, in its ever-changing horror and grandness, is still there. A familiar form appears in the shifting swirls. Her design is much cruder and rougher than Lyra's design, but somehow she is far more beautiful.
Crystal's figure wavers; she is a dancing mass of reflective sequins, neither really here nor there.
"Crystal!" Ethan screams.
Silver turns to look at what Ethan is facing. "Ethan, there's nothing there." His rival takes on a concerned look. "Are you okay?"
Lyra pulls a Pokeball out of Ethan's bag and releases a Totodile. "Crystal is right here, Ethan! It's okay!" She coos.
"No, Crystal…." Ethan whispers. Crystal smiles, a smile meant only for him.
"Ethan, seriously, are you seeing something? You keep acting like there's something in front of you…There's nothing there. You know that, right?" Silver rests a hand on Gold's shoulder.
"Crystal is there!" Ethan screeches, pushing Silver away for the second time. Lyra frowns, but it does not matter because Lyra no longer exists, there is Crystal and there has always been Crystal and no one else.
Like a bullet aimed straight for her non-beating heart, Ethan surges forward. They embrace, a lovely mixture of existence and non-existence. Ethan pulls Crystal's ebbing body of light and gray out of the darkness and into the real world.
Ethan stumbles. Gold faints.
(They wipe you of everything. You are Ethan now. Gold is dead. Crystal never lived.)
8. No Gastly on Route 31
He hears a voice.
"Silver and I found him on Route 31…He was unconscious. He woke up briefly and kept shouting for his Totodile and something about darkness. He seemed to be hallucinating, Silver and I didn't see anything."
Darkness again.
A different voice.
"I've given him a full examination and there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him. He may have been temporarily possessed by a Gastly, which would explain the hallucinations. Aside from rest, there isn't much we can do for him. His poor mother must be worried sick. Send him home."
More darkness.
Ethan wakes up and is greeted by the sight of Lyra and Silver peering anxiously at him.
"You're awake! You kept calling for Crystal in your sleep." Lyra whispers softly as she places his Totodile on the bed.
Ethan's head spins as he struggles to sit up in the bed. Lyra rushes forward and gently ushers him back down. Ethan does not miss the jealous tingle in Silver's eye and, upon seeing how closely the two are sitting, wonders what he missed.
"Where are we?" Ethan spits out.
"Your house. They think you were possessed by a Gastly on Route 31, which caused you to blackout. You've had a fever and been slipping in and out of consciousness since then." Silver's eyes follow Lyra as she busies herself fluffing Ethan's pillow.
"There are no Gastly on Route 31…" Ethan ponders.
Silver shrugs.
"Where did she go?" Ethan whispers to himself distractedly as he drifts back into unconsciousness.
Silver and Lyra hold hands next to his sleeping body.
(Goodbye.)
9. Bare Table
The next time Gold wakes up, he is alone in his room and the bed is on fire.
Shit! He drags his weak body out of the bed, then flops out of his room and down the stairs.
"Thank god, I thought you wouldn't wake up." Whispers the wind, but of course the wind does not whisper, Crystal must be hiding somewhere, messing with him. How unfair! Gold has never messed with her on the first day of her adventure!
The word adventure reminds him of something…
"Aw, shit." Gold curses out loud. Today is the day he picks his first Pokemon! How could he oversleep?
He sprints out of his room, tripping over himself in his eagerness. "I can't believe you forgot!" Crystal accuses, but Gold ignores her as he makes his way to Professor Elm's Laboratory.
He flings the doors open without a care in the world and dashes up front to the table with three Pokeballs waiting for a master…
…Only to find an empty table.
"What?" Questions Gold, but then his voice cracks, because he suddenly remembers choosing Crystal the poorly-named Totodile and Silver's taunts and Lyra's cookies.
Then he is Ethan again, or maybe still Gold, but above all, confused.
He slams himself into a nearby chair.
Is anything real?
"I am," whispers Crystal from a corner of his mind. Ethan's head shoots up.
He saw her transcend the borders of time and space to enter this world. The questions – what happened to her, where is she, and, above all, whywhywhywhy- rain down upon him, pooling into a roaring ocean capable of drowning him.
Strangely, the answer is right in front of Ethan.
His entire body convulses – is the fever finally getting to him? – as his fingers carve lopsided circles into the bare table in front of him. Bare, clear, void. The Pokeball overlooked by two trainers is gone. Lyra never would have touched it. Professor Elm never would have moved it.
He pictures her entering the empty lab, nervous energy putting an extra spring in her steps. She anxiously combs one of her pigtails with her fingers, trying to forget her actions could technically be deemed theft. Defiantly, she scoops up the leftover Pokeball and makes her escape. She knows the creature inside the Pokeball – she did, after all, train it in a previous life - and considers the act retaking what is rightfully hers. She will never return to this building, nor this town, for as long as she lives.
His eyes fill with gratitude, or maybe tears. Crystal is alive. Her veins pump blood into her heart and she breathes air just like Ethan. He knows it; the notion is as ingrained into his mind as his immense knowledge of Pokemon.
"Ethan? What are you doing out of bed?"
"He looks weak…Call his mother."
"Ethan? Can you hear me? Ethan!"
There are other people here now, but they do not bother him. He cannot really see them anyway, as his vision has suddenly gone blurry. He clutches at the spot where an unwanted Pokeball once rested.
He might not have her now, but knowing that she is out there, alive, is enough. She will never become Champion or achieve notable success, as she is no longer the Protagonist, but she will make it. He knows instinctively they will never meet again – it is not in his coding, after all – but he can dream.
Crystal's lips meet Gold's lips in acknowledgment of the love that overcame time and space, but not destiny.
He smiles before he blacks out.
(Silence.)
10. The Third Pokeball, a Cyndaquil named Gold
SIX MONTHS LATER…
Written on the banner in crisp black letters are the two words Ethan has heard nonstop for the past week; Congratulations, Ethan!
He smiles good-naturedly before opening the door to Professor Elm's Laboratory. Professor Elm immediately looks up from his desk and stands up to great Ethan. "Ethan! I see you got my message. Congratulations again on beating the Elite Four!" The Professor absentmindedly searches through a stack of papers before changing topics. "I assume you're familiar with the Kanto region. Kanto offers completely different Pokemon from what you find in Johto…A friend of mine recently gave me a S.S. Ticket for the fast ship S.S. Aqua. Seeing as you've beaten all of the Gyms in Kanto, I thought you might like to have the ticket! The S.S. Aqua departs from Olivine and will take you to Vermillion City in Kanto. Think of it as a chance to challenge new Gym leaders and capture new Pokemon! Now, if I could just find that ticket…" Professor Elm frowns, muttering to himself as he continues searching his desk for the ticket.
Used to the Professor's scattered nature, Ethan waits patiently. His eyes fall on the bare table in the front of the room. Ethan hesitates before finally asking the question that has preyed on his dreams for the past half of a year.
"Professor…What happened to the third Pokeball?"
Preoccupied with locating the missing S.S. Ticket, Professor Elm responds without looking up. "I'm not entirely sure. It went missing around the time you were…hospitalized. We reported it to the police but it still hasn't turned up."
Hospitalized. Is that how they were referring to his breakdown now? Silver and Lyra were careful to avoid any mention of it around him. Lyra had found him a few times, pedaling furiously on Route 31 in search of the illusion that had haunted him, but never questioned his actions, instead calmly guiding him to Violet City for a meal, always on her.
He had explained to Silver and Lyra countless times what he saw and begged them to understand, but Silver's gruff claims that it has always just been you, me, and Lyra, no one else and you're in love with a fairy tale, man hurt almost as much as the shots of this and that the doctors administered to Ethan to "cure" him, "fix" him of his supposed possession.
Ethan seemed to be the only one who found it interesting that his Pokedex did not have an entry for Gastly at the time.
Even if you really were Gold and Crystal did exist, Silver would argue, that's in the past and you can't live in the past, you're Ethan now.
Silver left the room when Ethan once countered with well what if I don't want to be Ethan? When Ethan did not see Silver for a few weeks after that, Lyra whispered something about Silver wanting to "find someone for a friend". It speaks to Lyra's naivety that she did not realize Ethan understood the statement to mean Silver searched for the otherworldly woman haunting his friend's memories. After Silver returned empty-handed, he was less willing to indulge in Ethan's fantasies about finding Crystal.
"Ethan!" Professor Elm's sudden yell jerked Ethan back to attention. "I found the S.S. Ticket! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to run to Mr. Pokemon's house for an errand." Professor Elm hurriedly shoved the ticket at Ethan before grabbing his coat and making his way out of the laboratory. Professor Elm stopped at the doorway and gave the stunted Ethan a sympathetic look. "Hey, Ethan…I know things have been hard on you. Are you okay?"
"Yes." Replied Ethan steadily.
"I'm glad." The man with a thousand and one things on his mind took a second to give Ethan a wavering smile before heading out the door and leaving him alone.
Although he had said it as a natural reaction more than anything else, Ethan realized his response was true. The rest of the world would never receive definitive proof of Crystal's existence, and neither would he – but every once in a while he would have dreams of a smiling female face that were too vivid to be anything but memories. They were never long – merely short snippets of a long-lost love that faded when he slid back into consciousness – but the feelings they gave him stayed.
He likes to think that somewhere, not here, but rather very far away, there is a trainer who commands a Cyndaquil named Gold with steady words and subtle flicks of her hair.
Crystal may have never lived…but in Ethan's mind, she will never die.
(And with that, you are born anew, ready for the Player.)
AN:
This is a slight reworking of an old fic posted under the same name.
I hope the Author Notes at the beginning of the chapter clear up some of what happened!
The designs for HG/SS have always looked like Barbie doll versions of the original designs to me. Glassy-eyed is easily something to use to describe dolls and is listed as a synonym for "confused", so I thought it would fit and have a fun double meaning.
I would love to know how readers interpret this story, particularly the ending. It's different from other stories I've written and I want to know if it worked.
Thanks for reading!