Changes
"Paige, are you ready yet? Your father is waiting for you to go to church as usual!" The Sunday morning screams were a ritual in the McCullers house over the last couple of years. For as long as Paige could remember she has accompanied her father to church every Sunday. She would help her mom set up for Sunday mass. She would check the books and put all the psalms in order and then her favorite thing would happen; at least it had been her favorite thing. Her mother would return home to go get Paige's little sister ready for church and whatever other issues needed to be ironed out before service which would leave Paige alone with her father, Pastor Jeff McCullers, and he would give his little girl a private run through of his sermon. He used to say that she was his best critic and he could usually gauge the rest of the congregation's reaction off his daughter's overly expressive face.
Growing up she loved the alone time this gave her with her father and how important she felt being his special audience. She felt a closeness to the lessons that were depicted in her father's sermons, she felt like that were directed right to her and because of this she grew up with a deep relationship to god and the religion that her family life was deeply rooted in however recently that same understanding and closeness to the teachings of god has made her hate herself. She started to develop an underlying hatred for that religion and also her family who followed its word so closely, but most of all herself.
As she got older and her body changed so did her thoughts and feelings. No longer had pure or natural thoughts run through the young girls head. She felt less and less like her daddy's little girl and more like the sinners he always talked about. She began to resent her own mind for betraying the word of the god she group believing was the final authority in her life, who was showing her the way to goodness. So Sunday mornings became a reminder of her decent into darkness. Sitting there listening to her father's sermons alone as a judge of the lesson of the week she felt like an imposter. She was sitting in the same spot in which all she felt was undying love from both god and her family she now felt intolerance, refusal of change and prosecution.
Pastor McCullers had noticed the change in his daughter's behavior and even questioned her on the matter but her refusal to talk about it was almost obstinate because of course how could she open up to her father about feelings that went against everything she believed in. So her father stopped waiting for to go to church on Sunday mornings but Paige's mother was almost insistent that Paige go with him even more now hoping someone it would eradicate the change in her daughter's behavior and this morning was no different. Paige began the process of getting ready for Sunday morning mass which changed along with Paige. When she was a little girl there was nothing like putting on her Sunday best and getting gussied up often trying to impersonate her mother. Her closet used to be an array of brightly colored sundresses, frilly skirts and sparkly tops. However not it contained skinny jeans, comic book belt buckles and the array of colors went from sundresses to band and movie t-shirts. Still stuck in the back though deeps within her closet barely visible were a couple of frilly skirts and sundress left over from her mom's constant shopping sprees for Paige insisting she knew exactly what her daughter needed and those were the clothes that Paige was required to wear every Sunday. It was just another way this day forced her out of her element.
It was all very weird to Paige how this began because no matter how much time she spent thinking about it and analyzing it she could not pinpoint the exact moment when all these changed happened but something that she couldn't wait to go to and look her prettiest for was now something she dreaded being a part of. Wearing the clothes her mother made and listening to her father's sermons made her feel like she was spending the day in someone else's skin, in someone else's life even though a short time ago this was the exact life she loved.
To make things worse on this particular Sunday she had to see them, the four girls in her school that every girl wanted to be or befriend and they were Hannah, Aria, Spencer and Emily. Each one was more beautiful than the next making it close to impossible to say which one was the prettiest although if asked Paige she would say that there was something special in Emily Field's eyes.
Besides their obvious beauty they each had their niche in school which they controlled. Hannah was the socialite butterfly who was always ahead of the gossip. Aria was the artistic fashionista who despite wearing some very questionable outfits had everyone talking about the latest styles. Spencer was the brainiac poster child who was literally in charge of every academic club and the there was Emily was the down to earth star athlete who was humble and sweet despite her numerous achievement. Together they ruled the school and made life for Paige McCullers hell.