Everything Was Good
A/n: I busted this little plot bunny out in about an hour or so, cause it wouldn't let me continue to play my video games until I wrote it. :/ It's not quite at the level I'm used to writing, but hey, it was a plot bunny those nasty things. LOL. Anyway all my mistakes are my own, and everything recognizable belongs to Stephanie Meyer.
As I looked out the window of our bedroom, I thought back to that day. Man was I ever so glad that Jacob had caught me on the cliffs before I jumped. He pulled me back from the ledge and screamed his lungs out at me, asking me just what I thought I was doing, asking why he wasn't enough for me, asking if my life was really so unbearable that I thought the only solution was to end it. And I remembered how much his words stung. When he finished his tirade he dragged me back down the cliffs to my truck, shoved me in the passenger's seat, and drove me home. He left me at my front door without so much as a goodbye, only turning around once on his retreat to tell me that I'd better get my head screwed on straight.
I watched him disappear into the woods before I entered the house, all the while thinking of what he said. His words stuck with me as I continued throughout my day, cooking dinner for Charlie, tidying up the house, taking a shower, and even as I was laying in bed falling asleep. I had thought that my dreams would give me a reprieve, but instead they took a different twist.
The first thing I remember about the dream was the feeling of contentment. I was reading a book out on the deck watching over my kids as they made mud pies in the ground. Their friends had just gone home, but Julias and Syrene begged and pleaded to be allowed to play a little bit longer until their dad got home. Of course there was no real problem with it, so I let them continue playing. All of a sudden a shadow fell over my book, and I looked up to see my handsome husband standing over me with a grin on his face. "How are you my darling?" He asks. "I'm great Jacob, the kids were little angels today." I reply. "That's good, after all, we don't want you stressing out to much with the baby due so soon." He says with a smile so radiant it stuns me for a second, while helping me to my feet and palming my swollen belly. "Daddy!" Our kids cry out happy to see him as they jump up and run to give him a hug. He swings them both up into his arms all while telling them that he brought pizza for dinner so they need to be good little cubs and go wash up, or the big bad wolf will eat up all their pizza. The dream faded away as I was pulled into real life by my alarm clock.
As I sat in bed thinking about the dream, I couldn't believe how happy and content I felt and with Jacob of all people. But the more I sat there and thought about it, the more I realized that I wanted it, almost more than anything else. I decided then to go and see Jake and tell him everything. And I meant everything.
I remembered pulling up to his driveway and almost loosing my nerve. As I was about to throw my truck into reverse and chicken out, my door was flung open and I was pulled into a warm pair of arms. Looking up I saw Jake, but he didn't have his usual sunny smile on his face. I knew then and there that I would do anything to put that smile back on his face, so I sucked up my courage and asked him if he had time to talk. He set me down realizing how serious this was, and said sure as he lead me to the garage where I plopped down on the beat up sofa next to him. Then I opened up my mouth and told him everything. I left nothing out, not a single detail. I told him about the first day in Biology, and how he saved me from the van, and his meadow to the chase with James and getting bitten and how much that hurt. I told him about Prom and how much I hated it. Then I told him about the disaster that was my birthday party and how the next day Edward left me in the woods, telling me I wasn't good enough, that he was bored with me, how I was nothing more than a toy to him. I told Jake about Edward taking off into the woods, and I tried to follow him, wanting nothing more to go with him. I talked about collapsing to the floor of the forest, exhausted and about Sam finding me and returning me to my father. I mentioned the subsequent depression and how much it hurt to loose a whole family, and a way of life. A way of life I said that I thought without a doubt was going to be mine someday soon. As I talked as much as it hurt to say Edward's name it got easier as I continued. I felt the gaping hole torn in my chest close up little by little the more I talked and that pushed me to keep talking.
By the time I had finally finished, the sun had fallen and my voice was horse, but it had been a cathartic experience for me, one that I was glad I had done. We fell into silence for a while, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
"Why did you tell me all this?" Jake asked. I could feel his eyes on me as I responded, "I was sick of feeling like I did. I didn't want to continue on merely existing anymore. Ya know?" I said looking up at Jake. As I looked into his eyes, it felt like the world shifted. "What the fuck!" Jake exclaimed. "What?" I asked.
"I just fucking imprinted on you! Why only now? Why not before!"
"Maybe I was to broken before. This helped a lot Jake, but I had to want to do it, and I guess I finally got the kick in my ass that I needed to to finally start living again. Thank you by the way." I murmured.
"Oh baby. You don't have to thank me. I'll always be there for you."
I was pulled out of the memory by arms sliding around my waist and a chin resting on my head. "Hey hubby, how was your day? I asked Jake.
"It was good sweetheart. Quiet, but that's the best kind of day. I had lunch with Charlie." Jake replied. This was nothing unusual as Jake worked at the station with my dad. "What were you thinking of so hard that you didn't hear me come in?" He asked.
"Oh, I was just thinking of the day that you imprinted on me." I said with a smile, fondly remembering it all over again.
"I told you that I would always be there for you."
"Yep, and you've never left my side." I replied, blissfully happy. "You know what though?" I added.
"What?" Jake replied, kissing my head.
"The kids are down for another hour at least, and this little one has been really nice to momma today." I said rubbing my stomach. "You know what that means?" I said with a smirk pulling out of his arms and moving towards our bedroom, pulling off my shirt in the process.
"Oh hell yes I do." Jake replied as he ran over, sweeping me off my feet and rushing into the master bedroom. I laughed and thought, oh yes, everything was good.