Potent Circumstance: A Prism of Delight and Pain
By Lithia Susnet/LithiaDeLaSunset
A/N: I posted this on A03 a few days prior and hope that the audience here will enjoy this story just as thorougly. Its conception lies in a gift, and partial prompt, from OC'specialty (MyFathersFavorite) fertilized by my mind and in turn developing into a wonderful thought child that I now love dearly. Updates will usually entail more than one chapter at once but will not be every day or every other day in occurance. Most of the chapters are long chapters. So you know what you're getting into sans spoilers, Darcy is there to comfort Thor after his brother is a lil shit again. I will write about both couples and from each of the four's limited point of view...and elaborate on their history as well as to go ahead and say that this story will span the realms in the least. So enjoy. Also, alert for brief light intimacy in the beginning portion sans romance...but hey, no more spoiler than that. If you guys want more details, I can post those, too.
Potent Circumstance: A Prism of Delight and Pain
Chapter 1: Splintered
"Everything you touch it surely dies."
- Passenger
Jane should have known it was a bad idea. Why in the hell had she thought going to Asgard for a vacation from S.H.I.E.L.D would bring good things? Right, because it was supposed to. She sighed, closing another book and setting it on a growing stack by the foot of the bed. She sat back on her hands and began idly playing with a loose thread on the rich comforter, wondering when Thor would return.
At that moment, there was movement by the door, and the handle turned. Jane instantly sat up, but it was only a maidservant bringing a food tray. She thanked her and nibbled at it before stretching out and burying her head into one of Thor's pillows, inhaling, and fell asleep.
Some time later, she drowsily came to; someone was caressing the upturned side of her face tenderly.
"Thor," she mumbled, smiling.
"Lady Jane." Her smile started to deepen upon hearing the rumbling familiar voice, but halted half-way when something caught her attention: something was off. She dismissed it. He was tired. Or maybe it wasn't his voice. Something odd about his presence? His scent? She mentally shrugged it off and opened her eyes.
Thor looked just about how he always did, if a bit more put in place. He never paid that much attention to every hair before. His eyes seemed to glitter at her, but a moment later, she had convinced herself it was a trick of the light.
She sat up slowly, blinking sleep away. His hand drew away and he stared at her.
"How were the others?"
"They were well," he replied. It almost sounded silky. Jane tilted her head to the side. Thor did the same. "Is something troubling you?" He asked concernedly . Jane bit her lip and shook her head.
"Nothing...I've just missed you."
Some emotion flashed across his features but quickly passed. He lunged forward and stole a kiss from her, easing her down and settling near her. Jane laughed. "Anxious?"
"You could say that," he whispered, trailing a finger down her arm. He leaned down to kiss her again, and this time, he traced the curve of her right breast through her dress. Jane shivered a bit.
"Have you spoken to your father yet?" she inquired rather breathlessly as his fingertips, which she had not noticed until that moment, traced a pattern on the inside of her thigh. Rather than answer, his lips started dropping slow kisses down her throat. His tongue darted out and licked at her pulse point.
"Thor-"
"I saw him," he murmured somewhat hurriedly, and he withdrew his hands to start working on the fastenings of her clothes.
Jane started to say something else when she got kissed on the mouth once more, and then lifted up, her dress slid off and away. She shivered again. Thor drew back and stared at her. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he had never seen her before.
Jane reached up to touch his cheek. He flinched, then leaned into her hand.
"Am I that forgettable?" she joked.
"Not at all."
Once again, he reached out to touch her, delicately, as if just learning her curves. Jane watched his hands. He was careful, not as...enthusiastic...as he usually was. He took his time, giving her measured kisses and measured touches, moving as if exploring.
He lowered his lips to her collarbone, nuzzled her shoulder, drew his palm up her abdomen. He withdrew again and started removing all of his gear and clothing. Stripped, he crawled back beside of her.
Jane felt unreasonably uneasy. Something in those movements stirred suspicion, but before she could ponder it long, he suddenly flew into a frenzy, hands and mouth everywhere, kissing her, groping, inhaling. His movements slowed again and he gently took a nipple between his teeth, sucking on it. Jane's breath came a little harder, hitched when his hand meandered between her knees and upward. She gasped when he touched her outer lips, and unconsciously widened the distance between her legs. He slid up her body, sitting up almost straight and pulling her into his lap. His fingertips traced her shoulder blades and the arch of her spine, too, the shape of her jutting vertebra, the curve of her bottom, the backs of her thighs. He laid her down again, and without any more preamble, pushed into her. Jane wrapped her limbs around him, her heels digging into his lower back and her arms locked around his neck, and relaxed.
His rhythm was off. She hated to think that, but it was. Not that it was a bad thing...but it was different. Maybe he was trying something new? But that wasn't like Thor...Thor knew her. But maybe she was overthinking things again?
He leaned down and buried his face in her hair by the side of her neck. He whispered something, and Jane strained to hear it, trying to understand while she was still lucid. As if to take her mind off of it, his hands started doing something very inappropriate, something that made Jane swear and blush, and kept her from noticing the door opening.
"Jane, I have returned." Thor. What the hell? Jane craned her neck, saw Thor in the doorway.
She started to say something, anything, but instead, a half-strangled cry clawed its way up and out of her throat and her body betrayed her, climbing higher, flushing, pulsing with sensation.
Thor, though stunned, gave an outraged battle cry and ran to the bed, stretching out his hands to stop the imposter...and hit a forcefield that threw him backward against the wall with a crash and a thud. Jane writhed in confusion, completely helpless as she felt an orgasm hit her. When it was over, Fake Thor, as she had realized by then, continued to hold her. She tried hitting him, but he held her still, shushing her, stroking her hair, until, despite herself, she had calmed.
"Now," he whispered, bending his lips by her ear. Footsteps could be heard outside in the corridor, no doubt in response to the commotion.
"I'll return for you, in less than three days time."
Then he had vanished. Jane pulled the sheets to her just as guards rushed into the room.
The forcefield seemed to have vanished with its creator. Thor lumbered to his feet and made his way over to Jane. He fell to his knees by the bedside. "Jane, did he hurt you?"
"I thought he was you," she choked before she began sobbing brokenly, her entire body shaking.
..xx..
Thor strode furiously into the Throne Room to find it empty.
"You are searching for me?" his father's voice boomed out. Thor turned to see Odin in the doorway behind him.
"Father," he began, taking a step forward, "an intruder came. He...he took my form and...Jane..." he trailed off uncertainly. His father put a hand on his shoulder. "Did he harm her?"
"He-" Thor swallowed. "He violated her. She has not been well since, which is why I did not come until your return today...I fear she will never be the same."
Emotion contorted Odin's face, and then it smoothed out, though a hint of something remained. He coughed.
"And have you any idea who it could have been?"
"No," Thor replied honestly. He seemed truly heartbroken. "I cannot help her, father. There is nothing..."
Odin came forward and clasped him in a brief, uncharacteristic hug. "My poor Thor...without Frigga, who remains to put you back together this time?"
Thor pulled back and stared into his face. "Father?"
The man released him and stepped back. A smirk suddenly twisted his face, a familiar expression. "Not quite."
Thor squinted and then straightened completely, his narrowed eyes widening. "You cannot be."
"Be what?" The other man asked, spreading his hands wide in another familiar gesture. He now eyed Thor insolently.
"Brother?" Thor whispered disbelievingly. His incredulity morphed into anger. He took a threatening step forward. "Where is father?" He paled as another thought came over him. "Did you...did you take my form and...did you touch Jane?" His voice trembled with rage.
Mad laughter rang out and suddenly no likeness of Odin stood before him, but his brother, Loki.
"I did more than touch her, and we both know it."
Thor lunged at him, ready to throttle him, Mjölnir in hand, but he disappeared like smoke just as Thor brought the hammer down.
Enraged, and worried for Jane, Thor rushed back to where she had been moved, a room to share with Darcy. He burst in, completely shocking the two women: Darcy dropped the dress she had been about to try on and Jane sat trembling, eyes wide and hand on her heart, having flinched.
"Jane, Darcy, are you well? Has anyone else come here?"
"No, big guy, what happened?" Darcy replied. She had been brought up the day after Jane's misfortune. Jane stared down at the pillow she was clutching so hard her knuckles were white. "I-I didn't tell her," she managed to get out hoarsely.
"Tell me what?" Darcy was as inquisitive and bubbly as ever. "I'm surprised you brought me up here or wanted me to stay with you. I thought for sure you'd want-"
"A man came in as Thor and..."
Darcy froze mid-bend and shot up. "Oh my gosh. Did he-"
"No, I...I didn't know until it was too late," she quavered.
There came a crash out in the hallway. Thor turned to investigate. A cloaked figure appeared behind him and sent him crashing outside with a burst of green energy that also slammed the door behind him. The figure turned and threw its hood back.
"Shit," Darcy swore, "Holy hell and fuck me sideways."
Jane stared rather emotionlessly at him. "You. I slapped you."
"Yes," Loki said simply.
"Did you do this to me?" Jane asked. It was a forced, fake calm.
"Damn," Darcy muttered, clutching the dress to her ample chest.
The other two ignored her.
"Did you do this to me?!" Jane all but shrieked. His jaw clenched as he regarded her, taking in her sad and disheveled appearance.
"All I did was-"
She lunged at him in a violent whirl of fury and threw herself on him, hitting and slapping him until he caught her wrists.
"Stop that this instant," he snapped. "I did not harm you."
"Yes you did," she all but sobbed, "yes you did."
She slumped and began sobbing against his chest, seeming to forget her surroundings. His grip on her wrists slackened and genuine regret flashed in his eyes.
"I merely wanted-"
"You wanted to screw over Thor and have something to throw in his face," Darcy interrupted. "Sleeping with Jane was the biggest "fuck you!" you could think of is all."
She received a glare to curdle blood.
Jane stopped suddenly, going completely silent and not making a sound. Darcy watched, utterly flabbergasted, as, just as Thor managed to break the door down, Loki picked Jane up carefully, as if he cared, and disappeared with her.
By the time Thor broke through completely, Mjölnir aloft, the colors had dissipated, leaving him staring around the room and landing his gaze on Darcy.
"Where-where is Jane?"
"He took her," Darcy responded, actually sounding dazed, "Loki took Jane."
"He took her? He took her!" He threw Mjölnir despite it being an utterly useless and senseless action and gave a terrible bellow.
"This can't be good for anyone," Darcy muttered.
Meanwhile, Jane had come to her senses and was fighting once more, much to the chagrin of her carrier.
"Be still, won't you?" he snapped.
"No," she hissed, scratching at him again.
He shifted her to one arm and held her hands away with the other before she clawed his eyes out.
"Must you struggle so?" Loki snapped impatiently.
"You're kidnapping me, you ass. Of course I...of course I have to." She hiccuped again and tried to headbutt him. Currently, he carried her briskly down a deserted path. The sky overhead was odd to Jane, foreign.
After a while, she managed to calm down and she felt Loki become less tense. Sniffing, she tentatively croaked, "Where are we?" Gods, her voice was a mess. "Where have you taken me?"
She felt a bit reassured for a moment, just an inkling. He had saved her life, once. Perhaps he wouldn't harm her (much)? Either way, he made no comment.
"What do you plan to do with me?" Jane whispered. He stopped walking then, and she tipped her head back to see his expression. He stared ahead but glanced down sidelong at her. He smiled bitterly.
"I won't touch you again, I give you my word. I have more to think about now than precious Thor."
"Well, that's reassuring," Jane retorted bitingly, "your word is the new currency; reliable and dependable."
His jaw clenched. "Have I not told you I mean you no harm?"
Jane stared at him, then proclaimed brutally, lowly, "I hate you. And you deserve whatever he decides to do to you."
He said nothing, merely continued walking, and Jane saw that he had brought them upon a busy city, though it was still a distance off from them.
"Can you walk?" he asked once they neared half the distance to the gates.
"You think I won't run?" Jane remarked sharply. She could feel him frowning at the top of her head.
"I have no doubt you will. But where will you go? Without Thor or Midgard, you are lost and alone. Destitute."
Her fingers knotted where they held onto him. "Bastard."
"Calling me names will not help," he murmured.
"Doesn't hurt, either," she grumbled."Put me down." Her voice wavered, but her tone was firm.
"And I trust your senses have returned and you will not attempt escape?"
"No. I'll stay. You made sure of that." Loki tried to ignore the bitter, sour tinge to her tone and instead focused on setting her down carefully.
She wobbled. Her legs had fallen asleep, and she nearly fell over. He reached out to steady her, but she flinched away. "Don't touch me," she barked harshly.
"Fine," he nearly snarled, but stayed close by until he was sure she could stand on her own.
He slowed his pace to accommodate her stride, and they began walking once more.
"Where have we come to?" she tried again, quieter. He shot her a glance, and something in his gaze softened.
"Alfheim. I have allies and acquaintances here."
A silence fell, heavy and tense.
"You used me." She now sounded drained of emotion, and Loki wondered when she had become quite so mercurial.
"I did not use you. You consented."
"Because I thought you were someone else! You used me like...like some cheap whore to prove a fucking point. My emotions are jackshit crazy now. My hair is coming out more. I lost a pound."
He snorted at the last bit. "It's not been a handful of days. The pound is not my fault."
"It is if I couldn't and haven't eaten since you...since you..."
"I apologized," he tried to defend himself curtly. "Surely-"
"You think everything is back to normal or that we're some kind of friends because you said you were sorry?" Jane flared, "You're childish and selfish on top of being full of it."
Loki stopped walking, and without another choice, Jane stopped and rounded on him. She nearly deflated and lost some of her anger. He didn't look truly angry or riled at all. He seemed...defeated, agitated, on the defense.
"You do not have to beat me over the head with this," he growled, jaw working.
"Well, I was hoping it might sink in," Jane simpered haughtily with a hint of mockery.
He grabbed her by the arms and she cringed as if his fingers burned her.
"I have no intention of hurting you. Perhaps I slighted you. Perhaps I did hurt you. But I apologize to no one and yet I have apologized to you. Could you not bitch about it every second we are within hearing range of one another?"
Jane glared at him. "But do you mean it? Or do you just want me to stop, as you put it, bitching, about something you did to me for no reason other than you throwing another royal fit?"
"Could you, unlike everyone else, try to understand? You of all people owe me that. I saved you."
"And then you wronged me!"
He had remained calmer than she.
Her eyes darted over his features. "You built up trust with saving my life and acting like you cared. But then you destroyed that the second you violated it. You didn't just lie, or deceive. You did both and you did it to me to hurt someone else, oh savior. You can't paste a bandaid over this. It doesn't work that way. Maybe you should work on understanding me."
She jerked out of his grip and took a step away. "If you touch me again, I don't care, pauper or no, I will leave and not come back." She spun and continued the way they had been going. He swore and followed her.
They didn't mention it anymore as they trudged toward their goal, which loomed ever taller as they neared it. He held his arm out in front of her to keep her from going ahead once the gates were just before them. "There is a toll to pay," he explained softly to her under his breath.
He didn't meet her eyes or even glance her way as he pulled out a few gold coins and hailed the gatekeeper in a strange language. Jane hung back for lack of anything else to do and waited patiently for them to be let through. She wordlessly ducked underneath his arm and slunk through the high stone arch as soon as the doors creaked open.
The city bustled with life and burst with colors of all sorts. Jane held her head high and walked with more confidence. She paused on a street corner and waited for Loki to catch up.
"Where to?" She tried putting as little emotion as possible into the question. She had accepted her new lot and decided to deal with him at a distance.
He started to guide her by the shoulder, but she shrugged away from his reach. "Just tell me or show me."
Biting his tongue, he strode toward what appeared to be an inn and motioned for her to follow him, glancing over his shoulder to make sure she had and seeing her to be right in step with him.
He went in first, approaching the counter. Jane eyed the interior, which, of course, was sophisticated and fine. Where else would the pompous, arrogant ass stay? She kept her scalding, chiding thoughts to herself and followed him up the stairs to the suite, relieved to find that two adjoining rooms comprised a part of it: she wouldn't have to share a bed in any sense. She immediately went to the washroom and drew water to wet her face, and then she sat and let frustrated, angry, confused tears flow freely. What was she to do?
When she emerged, the room was empty, but a note lay on the nightstand. It read in slanting, elegant script:
'Food will be brought to you. Clean clothes and linens are in the wardrobe. Do not go anywhere without me.'
It was unsigned, but she had no doubt who had written it. She crumpled it up in her fist and threw it rather viciously into the waste paper basket.
She opened the wardrobe and found all manner of fine clothing, among other things, within.
"Insensitive prick," she muttered, "I can't be bought." But what was she to do about it, exactly, go naked on principle? She snatched out the first article, a dress, not caring one whit what it really looked like, and rooted around for undergarments and whatever else she might need before storming back to the washroom.
Once there, she bolted the door and stared at herself in the large, oval mirror hanging on the wall. "You look like hell," she muttered half-jokingly to her reflection as if addressing someone else. She smiled wryly. Darcy would be the one to say that, the woman being the ever candid one and complete source of honesty. Staring hard and imagining her friend there, she said in reply, "I feel like it, too. But I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I'm a big girl now." Her lips curled upward in a self-deprecating sort of way. "I might be losing it, though."
She stripped down while she waited for the water to fill the tub, shivering, goose pimples spreading. Before it ran full, she added a few samples of bath oils, and then shut it off and slipped in, sighing. Her hair instantly began curling around her breasts, and she frowned down at it, moving it all over one shoulder. She spread water over her arms and lowered her head, tucking it toward her knees as if for a dive to get at her hair, neck, and shoulders. She wasted no time lathering up after groping for a bar of sweet-smelling floral soap and her washcloth.
Jane scrubbed herself, running through her emotions and thoughts coupled with recent events and everything she had said and done. She rinsed, repeated, got out and dried off, realized she only regretted not trusting her instincts when they had questioned the Thor that had first come through the door. There happened to be lotions and perfumes in the little cabinet, and she wondered if it were customary, or if a certain someone had ordered those for her, too, and had them brought there. She toweled then combed her hair a bit, putting on the clothes and things she had gathered mechanically.
With nothing left, unless she brushed her teeth again, she unbolted the door and reentered the bedroom. A stack of books had appeared on a table along with a tray of still-warm food. Jane stared at it coldly, tempted not to eat it but persuaded to when she nearly fainted, realizing she couldn't starve herself for something he did; that it wouldn't starve away the burns and scars his touches and kisses had left. Aside from that, he, apparently, was the last person by the Nine that would try and poison her at that moment, and no one else, she was sure, knew who she was or thought her important enough to do so.
Unable to resist, she snatched up the tray and filched a book from the stack, taking them both to the enormous bed in the middle of the room. Feeling ravenous, her appetite catching up to her, she ate every bit of her meal, which she found delicious. She wondered if it would taste as good if she weren't famished. Pushing the newly cleared tray and dishes aside, she continued reading, not noticing she had tired until she slumped back into the pillows she had assembled to support herself, after which she have in to slumber.
Some time later, the adjoining door opened haltingly, and an internally contrite Loki peeked in to check on Jane. His eyes roved around the room until he saw her asleep, a book open in her lap and the tray he had requested cleaned of anything edible.
It had been wonderful, playing Thor like that, hurting him, thumbing his nose, per se. Unfortunately, he had not imagined the affects it would all have on Jane. Of course, he had also not planned for Thor to return early. He had planned to have vanished, to let her think it a dream and crow to his brother privately or reveal it as a trump card at an opportune moment. He hadn't known she would take it so hard or spurn him for it. He truly did find her interesting, even liked her. He might have even been able to grow to adore her. But he had done something that damaged any of his chances. He might as well have raped her for all the consent he asked for, and at least then he wouldn't have been lying about who he was, his intentions, or his...feelings. He didn't deserve to see her soft body naked again, to have it arch into his touch. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, and he would take whatever she threw at him.
He shook the troublesome thoughts away, crept to the bed, and got the tray from her, marking her place and setting her book on the night table. Then he tucked her in, gently brushing back a strand of stray hair, careful not to wake her and leaving her completely unaware of his gentle actions. Reluctantly, he retreated, closing the door softly behind him.