Gone with the Sunset

by thevoltageprincess

Unlike how everyone expected it to be, Feliciano's the one who's going to disappear in a matter of days in order to have his brother represent a full Italy and there's nothing he can do to stop it. At first, he decides to keep a secret, but then when he decides to finally tell someone, that being Ludwig, it seems as if he's a little too late.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go.

Feliciano was supposed to be overjoyed, even ecstatic with how his life was going. As the representation of a nation (or in his case, half of one), while his land and his people did have problems like any other country, he was, or more so, had been pleased with how everything was. Not only with his country, but with his friends, with everyone he knew. Things hadn't been so bad lately, everything was stable and his friends and those who were important to him were around so…why did this have to happen now? Why did this have to occur when everything was okay for once?

The last thing that Feliciano was right now, was okay, of all things. God, he could barely speak up or be around anyone without wanting to completely break down in tears due to the fact that he knew that it could very most likely be the last time he would ever see them. And living with the knowledge that he would soon disappear one of those days, living with such a secret that no one but only he and his brother and his boss knew…it was the worst part of it all. Even while Feliciano had been the one to practically beg his brother not to tell anyone besides his partner, who he had been with for a rather long time, Antonio, he simply couldn't stand the thought of others nothing. No, he couldn't stand being so pitied and looked upon in such a heart-breaking way by everyone he knew. Especially not by the one person who meant everything to him, Ludwig. That was the one person who he wanted to avoid telling his fate to the most. While it hurt, more than anything it ached his heart so terribly to keep such a secret from everyone, it hurt even more to keep it from the man who he considered his best friend, his most trustful partner in combat, the man he had come to fall in love with.

While, true, he should tell someone besides his brother and Antonio who had been told by him due to the fact that he could very likely pass by without them noticing or realizing what had occurred, Feliciano couldn't bring himself to, no matter how hard he tried. He attempted various times to come out and state the truth, tell it plainly and admit that he would pass away soon due to the fact that his brother would come to represent the country he loved so dearly, the country he was as a whole, but no matter how much effort he put into it, the words never did leave his mouth. No, instead he simply kept the edges of his lips up in a smile, a smile that no one besides two others knew was simply a wall so that no one could pick up on the fact that soon Feliciano would face his death, alone.

And knowing that, all of it, that he would soon disappear from this very Earth, that barely anyone knew what was going on, that he would never get the opportunity to tell Ludwig how he felt, he would never be able to see his friends again, and that things wouldn't be okay… it all came crashing down on him when he was left on his own, with no one around him and no one to distract him from the thoughts in his head about all that was occurring which only drove him crazy. That was why Feliciano was all curled up in his home, dozens of hot and sticky tears trailing down his face as his hands were in his hair, tugging at his hair slightly with choked sobs escaping his mouth, him attempting to somewhat calm himself down.

Of course, in his state, it wasn't helping much. He simply couldn't help but be in the living room of his own house on his own, sitting on the couch with his feet up and legs pulled up to his chest as his fingers were all tangled up in his light colored hair, such sobs and terrified whimpers escaping him. This was how it was every time that Feliciano was left to himself, with no one around to talk to. No matter how much he tried to avoid it, no matter how much he tried to keep himself together when he was alone, knowing that he would soon meet his death was scarier than anything else he had ever gone through. And the fact that no one could comfort him, that none of his friends could be there to support him and help him get through this and find peace within himself, it only made things scarier for him. Sure, he could call his brother, but his brother had been a mess lately, and Feliciano picked up on that whether Lovino realized it or not. It was obvious that he cried, and it was obvious that Antonio had to comfort him, accept the fact that his brother and his own dear friend would soon be gone. So even while he tried, Lovino couldn't be strong, not when knowing that he would lose someone who meant so much to him.

So really, Feliciano was on his own to deal with this, and that was how he dealt with it. By crying himself to sleep when he was alone, by faking smiles when around everyone and pretending things were okay. By never mentioning anything, because even while he so desperately needed someone to be there for him, hug him, hold him, kiss him, and telling him sweet lies that everything would be alright, at the same time, he didn't want others to see him this way, to treat him in such a way of pity.

But what Feliciano never realized throughout all the days that he kept to himself, throughout all the days in which his death date came closer, is that he should have said something. He should have told his friends, he should have spoken out and asked for comfort, he should have told Ludwig.

Several days passed on like it was nothing, like as if he wasn't really about to disappear and leave everything and everyone he loved and held dearly to his heart, like as if he didn't end up crying himself to sleep every night.

Still, no one knew of the events yet to come with the exception of those few. Feliciano made no hints, no passes or anything to let anyone know or even begin to think that perhaps he would never be able to see them again soon. No, he kept that smile on his face and pretended that everything was fine, that tomorrow, just like any other day, he was sure that he would see everyone and be able to talk with them and do everything as normal. It hurt him so much to do so, and each single night that passed, it only got worse for him, him only expecting his fate with every day and night that passed with him still alive and breathing.

But one night, as Feliciano cried out in the empty walls of his beautiful house which was never usually so dark, he realized that he wanted to say something. His want to tell someone had won over that of keeping this to himself, because if he was truthful, he couldn't take this any longer. He couldn't stand the pain of bearing through this with almost no one for support, no one to be there for him when needed. He needed to tell Ludwig, and as soon as possible. Thankfully, he had training with Ludwig tomorrow, so that settled it. Somehow, he would manage through their day of training and spit out the words which he held back for so long. It wouldn't be 'I love you', but it would be what he should have told him long ago.

Unfortunately, with Feliciano only deciding it that night, it didn't occur to him that tomorrow would be the very last day that he would be alive.

But he felt it.

He felt it.

That next morning, the very second that he came to slowly open his eyes and sat up on the rather large bed in the bedroom of his house, eyes looking somewhat bloodshot, hair all tangled and looking messy, dark circles under his eyes and tears stains on his cheeks, Feliciano knew.

He knew.

He could feel it in his bones, his body, and his mind. The cheers, the ever so strong life of his people were no longer so strong in him. He felt absolutely lifeless as he sat there on the bed, as if his soul had already left him sometime during the hours of the morning and what only remained was a body that had a few hours left down on the Earth until it was time to go and head up to Heaven where he would meet his fate.

He knew that today, was the day.

Today was the last day where he could talk to his friends, where he could talk to Antonio and Lovino, where he could do what he wanted, say what he wanted, where…he could see Ludwig one last time. Today, the day he wanted to tell the love of his life the truth, was the last day they would ever see each other again. And oh, knowing that hurt Feliciano more than anything. It was the reason as to why tears began to accumulate in his hazel eyes which usually were full of light and excitement, the reason as to why his hands clenched the white sheets of his bed so tightly that his knuckles began to turn a bit white, the reason as to why he bit his lip in order to prevent himself from making any noises as those tears left his eyes in a rush and slipped down his usually cheeks, despite there being no one else in the house with him. It made no difference that he attempted to keep quiet, because soon enough he could no longer keep it in, and one again the poor man broke down, showing how absolutely broken he was, how much pain he was going through.

Feliciano, who was usually someone so full of life, so full of spirit, so full of energy and love was simply done. He was totally shattered; shattered into someone who was deathly afraid of what was to come and alone and terrified of facing his fate with no one else there for him! He didn't want this to happen! He wasn't supposed to die! Why couldn't he simply remain with his brother, alive and happy with everyone who meant so much to him?! Why couldn't he at least have more time?! Why couldn't he do anything about this rather than only weep in sorrow of his fate?!

Sadly, Feliciano knew that there was no way out of it. While he could dream, perhaps wish of a way in which he and his brother would remain and run the country together like they had all up until now, it wasn't worth attempting. Feliciano knew that it was useless and simply a waste of time, and he didn't even have to ask to know that. The look on his boss's face when he had been told of the news told him everything, and the point was: There was no hope in saving him. Feliciano could be oblivious at times, but he wasn't stupid. He understood clearly, and now as he took it in for real that there was no more tomorrow for him…his heart shattered into tiny pieces in his chest. While knowing ever since some time ago that soon, he would no longer be around, actually coming to the day in which he would take his last breath was different. He was actually going to go through this, he was actually going to die.

It was completely different, and so the fact that he currently had tears running down his cheeks in a way that would make anyone worried, Feliciano poured his heart out, unaware of the time at which he had woken up. Ludwig, being Ludwig, had told Feliciano a few days earlier that they were to meet at a rather early time in the morning and that he expected to see him at the field at that exact time. The blonde knew of the Italian's ways and how he often slept in late, and so right now as usual when this occurred, he was making his way over and barged in after receiving no response like usual, seeming all huffy and annoyed that Feliciano hadn't showed up. Thinking that he was still asleep, and left unaware of not only what was going on but that only around then was when Feliciano had begun to calm down, he went up the stairs of the house quietly only to ram the door open. "Italy!"

Feliciano, who had not been expecting this, and was completely caught off guard since he had most certainly forgotten that Ludwig would most likely check up on him if he didn't show up on time, was only trying to think of a valid excuse at the moment as he rubbed his eyes, and attempted to stop his sniffling. Ludwig, who had caught him looking like a mess, no longer seemed so annoyed, nor ready to scold the older nation for having had stood him up. Instead, he seemed concerned, worried as well as to why his friend seemed to have been crying. "Ah—I'm sorry Germany! I-I…I um, I just forgot about training…," Feliciano managed to stutter as he sniffled and tried to keep himself from bursting out in tears once again before Ludwig.

He slowly scuffled off of bed, not even daring to glance up at Ludwig, who he was more than certain was staring at him with a look of clear concern on his face. "Italy."

There was no response to the German, Feliciano pulling a fake smile once again as he went through his closet and grabbed his uniform (after fixing his hair a bit), putting it on as if nothing had just happened and he was completely okay, which he wasn't.

"Italy," The name was repeated once again, only to receive no answer.

"Italy!"

It was only at the third call, this time Ludwig have to raise his voice a bit to get the male's full attention. "Sorry, sorry! I'm putting my clothes on now, aren't it? Just let me finish up and then let's train, si~? I'm sorry I didn't go earlier."

"Forget it, its fine. But Italy, don't try to fool me. Why were you crying?"

There was a brief moment of silence, and it was obvious to Ludwig, who stood at the door way, that the male seemed to become somewhat tense before replying to the question that had been asked of him.

"What are you talking about Captain? I wasn't crying!"

"Italy—"

"I'm fine, Germany! I wasn't crying!"

The fact that his eyes were still water-y, he had tear stains on his cheeks, and dark circles under his eyes didn't exactly help Ludwig believe that statement. What it did make him believe, however, was the Feliciano didn't trust him or simply preferred not to speak of what had him so upset simply a few mere moments ago. So, he crossed his arms over his chest, it obvious that Ludwig most definitely did not believe that lies that he was told. "Italy, I'm serious-,"

"So am I, Germany!"

Not wanting to let him butt in and tell him just yet, Feliciano turned around to face the blond, buttoning the last of the shirt of his uniform as he spoke up after having had interrupted him. "I'm serious, it was nothing! Don't worry about it! Let's just ah—get training done. I'm totally fine, don't worry about me."

Still not believing the words spoken and the fact that Feliciano seemed ever so willing to get training done, a soft sigh was what escaped Ludwig's lips, wishing that not only his ally, but his dear friend and the person he trusted with his life wouldn't be so stubborn at the moment and would simply come clean with what suddenly made him start crying out of nowhere. So, just one more time, he tried, he really did try to get it out of him, though he was interrupted once again only after getting out his name. "Italy-,"

"Hey! Why don't we go to the park today instead, hm? We always train and it's so hard!"

The Italian complained as usual, sticking out his lips and puffing his cheeks a bit in a pout as he mentioned training.

"So can we pleaseeee head to the park today instead? I just…I want to spend some time together and have some fun!"

Normally, Ludwig would have given an immediate no. Feliciano always attempted to get out of training, whether it was by flirting with girls, chasing cats, picking flowers, taking forever to tie his shoe laces, running off when he got the chance, and so on. But today, behind that wall of emotions and fake smiles he was putting up, Ludwig could sense that something was going on. Feliciano wasn't in the state to train, and this time it was emotionally. He could see such a great amount of sadness in those beautiful hazel eyes which seemed so lifeless now. And so, that was what convinced him to give another sigh and a slightly hesitant yes to the request of going to the park rather than training today. He only hoped that perhaps spending the day at the park could possibly cheer up his friend. Little did he know that nothing could possibly make Feliciano happy now.

The day that was spent at the park filled with colorful and the most marvelous flowers, large fields, small ponds, a playground and a small area for dogs, and much more, was definitely weird. Whether Feliciano meant to or even realized it himself, he was acting pretty….off. Not in a weird way, well actually yes in a weird way, and Ludwig didn't know what to do about it. The brunette was simply surprisingly quiet today, and he seemed low in spirits. Not only that, but he didn't go around and flirt with the pretty girls around, he didn't go and smell the flowers, or pet the kitties and puppies around the area, he didn't stay and take a nap under the shine of the sun or underneath the shade of a tree. He simply looked around, glancing at the different things around the park. What Ludwig didn't realize, was that whatever Feliciano saw, he was in a way relating it to himself. If he saw a person, no matter who it was, he couldn't help but think to himself that they were so lucky, to have more days to their lives than he would then. And it was awful, because the more and more he thought about it, the more it hurt his heart. The more it made him want to start sobbing again, and absolutely shut down. God, taking such a simple walk was hurting him, so so much.

And Ludwig, even while he didn't know, he knew something was up. He noticed all of what was different in Feliciano, the way that he seemed to quiet and not so cheery today, the way that his eyes said so much more than his mouth, the way that he seemed to be lost in his own little world as they simply walked around the large park together, with no words exchanged.

It was this that made Ludwig's stomach turn as it was tied up into a knot, it was what gave him a bad feeling in his chest, what made him wonder what the hell was going on because something obviously was to make Feliciano so unlike himself. He wanted the male to go back to normal, even while sometimes he could be annoying, Ludwig loved him all the same and simply wanted him to be as overly-happy as he usually was. He unfortunately didn't know that he would never see Feliciano like that ever again.

He didn't know…not until Feliciano finally decided to tell him.

The two nations set next to each other on one of the benches in the park in silence, both facing forward and looking out to the sunset which was seen most beautifully from the spot at which they sat. They had watched the sun for a while now, as the sky was finally a medium purple, the sky mostly beginning to turn dark as the yellow and orange glows of the sky began to slowly fade. It was only at that point that Feliciano suddenly leaned his head against Ludwig's shoulder, letting it rest there as his soft hand surprisingly came to take hold of Ludwig's rougher feeling hand, gently intertwining their fingers while still looking forward towards the sun that continued to set before them. Only a few minutes left until it was finally time for his departure. But Ludwig did not know of this, and was only left slightly confused as to what he was doing with a slight blush crawling over his cheeks due to him being somewhat flustered. Feliciano was always slightly more affectionate than what he was comfortable with, but he never did things like this, or at least not before. He didn't understand, but didn't push the other away either. Instead, he awkwardly and slowly came to rest his own head against the others before giving such a gentle hand a small squeeze.

"Germany?"

"Hm?"

"…."

Like before, Feliciano kept quiet…but he knew that he couldn't keep this secret any longer. It was time to go. His body was beginning to ever so slowly fade as the bright sun continued to disappear from their view, hiding behind the horizon line until the next day. Feliciano wouldn't be there to see it tomorrow, though. And poor Ludwig still didn't know. He was only confused, confused as to why his friend had been crying earlier, confused as to why this was happening and why his name had been called and yet he received no answer when answering in return. So, he raised his head and with a crease at his furrowed brow and somewhat of a curious looking expression as he looked towards Feliciano, definitely seeming puzzled over something as he asked another question rather than the one he was about to. "Why do you seem so….faded?"

The answer received, was not the answer which was expected.

"I'm…I'm dying, Germany," Feliciano murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat as his eyes watered after he forced himself to speak and finally tell him the truth of what had been going on.

Eyes before him growing wide with surprise, Ludwig somehow attempted to speak, trying to understand what he had just heard, and whether he had heard correctly. No, he couldn't have…right? He just misunderstood. Yes, he misunderstood. The person who meant most to him wasn't about to pass away right before his eyes. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that, the look in Feliciano's glossy eyes wasn't helping him convince himself that. "..What?"

That was the only thing he managed to get himself to stutter in reply.

"I-I'm dying," Feliciano repeated once again, speaking a barely heard whisper.

Once the statement was repeated, Ludwig fell his heart drop. Immediately, he felt it rip into shreds. God, this had to be some stupid joke that Feliciano was trying to pull. Some lie, some made up crap just to see how he would react. But he knew, he knew…he could feel in his chest just as much as Feliciano did that this wasn't some stupid prank. No, the male he had accepted into his heart and loved for so long…he was going to die.

"Romano…h-he's gotten a lot stronger, and my boss told me some time ago…H-He's going to represent a f-full…a full Italy. S-So, I—ah, I'm not needed…anymore…"

Still, even at this point, Ludwig managed to say nothing as Feliciano stood up, not letting go of his hand as he did so. Instead, the Italian nation which seemed to be disappearing already stood up so that he was no longer seated on the bench and now stood before him, a tear or two slipping down his cheek as spoke, eyes looking so full of regret. "Germany…I love you."

The moment that those words were here, the German's eyes teared up. Even for someone so strong, he was so weak at the moment, so fragile and so in disbelief that everything that was going on was too much for him to handle.

"I love you so, so much…I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…Don't hate me."

Without being given a chance to reply, Feliciano then leaned down and pressed a small kiss to his lips, one that he wished that he had given ever so long ago. How upsetting, how it was Ludwig's first kiss from Feliciano, and his last as well. And while it was probably short, it seemed even shorter to Ludwig than it actually was, him attempting to just think that this wasn't actually happening. No, Feliciano wasn't disappearing before him. He was just imagining it! He had to be! Feliciano couldn't leave him like this!

"Ciao, Germany."

Right before his eyes, Feliciano slowly left his vision, and instead of having an Italian whom he loved ever so dearly standing there before him, there was nothing. No longer were fingers intertwined with his own. No longer did he feel warm lips on his own, or have warm, wonderful hazel eyes looking down at him with such a look of despair. There was nothing. He was gone. Feliciano was really gone.

He was dead.

And the moment that it set in, simply a few seconds afterwards, Ludwig had tears escaping his eyes. God knew when it was the last time he actually cried like this, or felt his heart tearing apart, or even felt like taking his own life so that he wouldn't have to go through this right now.

"Italy!?"

He was here…right?

"Italy?!"

He had to be….he just had to be here.

"ITALY!"

Ludwig found that he couldn't stop calling his name in such a desperate manner, no matter how many times he kept on reminding himself that the person he loved was forever gone from his life. He would never see that ditzy smile, or those eyes that seemed so tender, not even hear the voice that was soothing to the ears. He would never see Feliciano again….The thought, once sinking in, was what made him fall to his knees on the concrete ground of the park in which he stand, surrounded by the darkness of the night as deafening, choked sobs escaped his lips and his hands held the fabric of his pants so tightly that his knuckles turned somewhat white, Ludwig attempting to call out his name in one last attempt between his heart-aching sobs.

"I-Italy…"