Author's note: This little piece is the answer to a challenge I put out for karebear the other day. The challenge was: Write Anders sex. Since I was the one uttering it, it is just fair to contribute to it as well. So hear it is. Rated M, of course, for... sex, what else? Enjoy and tell me what you think :-)
Time to play the Game!
It's all about the game and how you play it.
It's all about control and if you can take it.
It's all about your debt and if you can pay it.
It's all about pain and who's gonna make it.
"The Game" by Motorhead
The Games We Play
It's been two weeks since I sent some of my wardens to Amaranthine to help with the winter sickness. People there are suffering greatly from it every year but this year it is especially bad and I was asked to provide help. I have sent my only two mages and a contingent of ten wardens to assist the townspeople in their endeavor to get a hold on the situation.
Today they have come back.
I've seen them approaching for miles and mentally prepared myself for their report. I also prepared myself to face Anders again because when he left we have not exactly been on good terms with each other.
The day of the party's departure, we had an argument. Something ridiculous, really, not worth mentioning. But we are both stubborn and our temper is easily sparked. None of us wanted to give in and we did not solve the matter when we had the chance. We preferred to hold on to our anger instead and so we parted on a really sour note.
It was not even afternoon that day when I already regretted our argument. He would be gone for two weeks and he left in anger. It made me feel guilty. I shouldn't have been so childish and insist that I was right about… I don't even know anymore. I do know, though, that I missed him and that I can't wait to see him again, so when the double doors of the great hall open I am already waiting for my repatriates. They look exhausted but happy and I get the feeling that things went well in Amaranthine. As I greet them, I am looking for Anders. I find him a little off the group and our eyes lock; mine hopeful, his guarded.
I can tell he does not know how to react, that he tries to judge if I am still angry and that he feels just as miserable about this ridiculous affair as I do. I try to tell him without words that I am not angry anymore and that I am glad he's back. It's difficult, though, because I can't express my feelings as openly as I want to.
I am the Commander of the Grey and I have to treat all of my wardens equally. Everyone knows of course that Anders and I are an item and more often than not they are teasing us about it but that does not change the facts and the facts are that I am not just responsible for my lover but for all of my wardens.
It also means that I won't have the time to talk to Anders in private any time soon. We will have to sit through the de-briefing first and maybe through dinner as well. His shoulders slump slightly when I turn away and it stabs at my heart to see that. My steps falter and I try to cash his eyes again but he does not look at me. I wish I could just run to him and kiss him and tell him I'm sorry but instead I have to listen to reports and pretend that everything is alright.
Or maybe not.
I don't know where the idea comes from but it is there, suddenly, and I have to bite my lip to keep myself from grinning. I cannot tell him I am not angry anymore but maybe I can show him. The thought makes me a little giddy with excitement because I have never attempted anything like this before. I am about to seduce my lover in a room packed with people and I have to do it in a way so that no one else will notice. It is a bold plan and a dangerous one but I have always been up to a challenge when it was worth it.
I order my wardens into the card-room next to the hall where I always listen to reports. I don't know how that came to pass because it would be easier to hold de-briefings in a place that is bigger and preferably has chairs in it but somehow it became a habit. Today, I am actually glad that there are no chairs. It will hopefully make things a little easier for me.
I gather everyone around the big table in the middle of the room while I subtly maneuver through the men until I come to stand next to Anders. I don't look at him but I make sure to brush against him as I reach across the table for the water pitcher and mugs a thoughtful servant has left for us.
The unexpected contact makes him shift beside me uncomfortably. He doesn't know what to make of it and that leaves him confused and insecure. I bite back a smile. This is going to be interesting.
Over the course of the next half hour I watch in fascination and growing arousal how my plan unwinds. A brush of my breasts against his arm here, a well-thought lick of my lips there and Anders is getting more and more nervous. I notice it because his hands are seemingly unable to hold still for a moment and the tone of his voice is the tiniest bit too raspy.
Encouraged by his reaction I get a little bolder and when I am unobserved for a second I let my hand run over his thigh and the bulge in his pants that his robes fortunately for both of us do a flawless job concealing. He flinches visibly and clenches his jaw tightly and for the first time since we entered the room he looks at me. His gaze is burning with something that is partly annoyance and partly lust and it sends a surge of heat through my body that quickly coils into a throbbing ball between my legs.
I must have betrayed my reaction with something because there suddenly is a demonic spark in Anders' eyes and it makes me swallow hard. He's up to something and I inwardly curse myself for not having seen that coming.
We are in the middle of discussing something that requires him to show me a particular area on the map in front of us and he does so by leaning over my shoulder, his body pressing into me from behind and his face coming so close to mine that I can feel his stubbly chin momentarily rubbing against my cheek. The hand not on the map curls around my waist and pulls me even closer into him, making me feel the extent of his excitement and it all happens so fast that it leaves me dizzy and confused when he steps back again only seconds later. Now it's I who can't hold her hands still anymore. My face feels flush and my whole body screams for his touch.
I decided to play with fire and now I am about to get burned. I should have known better than to challenge a master of this particular game.
Somehow I manage to get through the rest of the de-briefing fairly decently even though it is hard because there always seems to be a hand or a leg somewhere on my body now, teasing me, unsettling me. I almost can't reign in a sigh of relief when I dismiss my men for the rest of the day.
Glad that it's over I turn for the door but Anders' voice holds me back.
"Can I have a word with you in private, Commander?"
My heart skips a beat at how that sounds. Calm. Controlled. Indifferent. It is a sure sign that he is everything but. I remain rooted to the spot until everyone except us has filed out of the room, not daring to meet Anders' eyes again. I am not exactly afraid but I know that I have made a mistake and that I am about to pay for it now.
Without a word, he passes me by and closes the door, then turns the key in the lock. I want to protest but before I can even open my mouth he is upon me, pushing me back. In an instant I am trapped between the wall behind and his body in front of me. His mouth crashes down on mine in a searing kiss that leaves me breathless.
"Minx," he growls when he ends the kiss, equally breathless and with a dangerous undertone in his low voice. "You'll pay for that stunt."
As if I don't know that already. Actually, I am just waiting for it. I allow a saucy grin to curve my lips while I buck my hips up against him. Anders groans and starts tugging at my shirt impatiently with one hand while the other holds my wrists captive. I hear cloth ripping, then a soft tinkling as one of the buttons hits the stone floor. His knuckles trace the hollow between my breasts now bared to his sight and I shiver. My heart speeds up and so is my breathing. I try to free my hands of his hold, yearning to touch him but he doesn't allow it. He grins, smug and knowing and it only makes me fight harder because it infuriates me to no end.
Eventually I succeed but Anders chooses just that moment to bow his head and close his mouth over my right breast that is still covered by my linen shirt. He flicks his tongue over the sensitive nipple and the contrasting sensations of rough fabric and soft, wet tongue on my skin are indescribable. It is enough to stop my fighting and make my knees go weak. An involuntary moan leaves my lips and my eyes flutter shut. I feel myself being lifted off the ground. He carries me over to the table and sets me down on top. I wait for him to continue my sweet punishment but for a long moment nothing happens and I force my eyes open again to see what takes him so long.
I am met by a stare from amber eyes that is nothing short of scorching. His hands are busy getting rid of his robes and I watch like hypnotized as more and more of his tanned skin is revealed. Moments later the annoying garment falls to the floor and Anders gathers me up into his arms again. He doesn't try to restrain me this time when I bury my hands in the soft blonde strands of his hair and drag him down for another passionate kiss.
His embrace tightens and I can feel the rapid beating of his heart against my chest. Or is it my heart? Neither do I know nor do I care. It feels good, that's all I know, yet it's not yet quite right. I want to feel him whole. My mouth leaves his lips and kisses, licks, bites a path down his jaw, his neck. He tastes of salt and sweat and magic and the mix of it is intoxicating.
A shiver runs down the length of his slender body and a soft sound leaves his throat that is half sigh, half moan. His hands peel the shirt off of me and send it flying to join his discarded robes on the floor. Next are my pants, my breast band, my smalls until I lie naked before him. Half-lidded, clouded eyes wander over my body. It is so intense, I can almost feel it. He reaches out for me, follows the path his eyes take with his hand, starting at my face, down my neck, over my chest, along my belly… and I gasp as it comes to a halt between my legs. The gasp turns into a frustrated groan when it stills there, unmoving.
Anders still watches me. His gaze is now locked on my face, noticing every reaction. I have a vague idea of what he is up to and, of course, I am right.
"Say you're sorry," he demands of me hoarsely.
And just like that the game changes. I am quivering and writhing with lust and want and he knows it. He's been waiting for this moment to get back at me. I half expected it but it makes me furious anyway. My stubborn nature gains the upper hand despite my desperate need for completion. This is a game I know and that I am quite adept at. I grind my teeth and shake my head. Never. I will not give in.
Anders leans down, covering my upper body with his, brining his face close to my ear. I feel his hot, fast breath on my damp skin. His hand between my legs presses in more firmly, fingers rubbing against me. I can't prevent my hips from bucking as the touch sends rippling waves of pleasure through every single nerve in my body but I bite my tongue to keep myself from whimpering. I will not give him the satisfaction of hearing me beg.
"Say you're sorry," he repeats in a whisper, brushing the shell of my ear with his lips while he does so. Again I shake my head, more vehemently this time.
His nimble fingers move in languid circles now and I grow taut as a bowstring. I am close, so very close but Anders knows how to keep me there on the edge. My thoughts become slow and fuzzy, my body light and heavy at the same time but my resolve does not waver. I clench my hands into fists and my eyes tightly shut. Soft, mewling sounds leave my lips without me being able to control it any longer. His mouth brushes my throat, tongue repeating the same lazy pattern his fingers perform further down.
"Say it, minx."
Somewhere in my muddled brain, I notice that the order sounds strained this time, forced. His little game is taking its toll on him, too, but I know that I will not be able to hold out for much longer and it brings tears of frustration and anger to my eyes.
"No!"
It is a sob, a last desperate attempt to resist this oh so sweet torture and I feel him freezing. The only movements now are the rapid heaving and sinking of our chests, the only sounds our heavy breaths. We lie like this for a long moment before I feel Anders' hand cupping my cheek. His thumb wipes at a wet trail on my skin that I did not know was there until now.
Slowly, I open my eyes again, looking up at him. The expression on his face is gentle now, his gaze loving and a little scared. He feels guilty and that makes me feel guilty as well. We are always fighting even when we are trying to make up.
I reach up and brush a strand of hair away from his face. The gesture lets his lips curve into the tiniest of smiles.
"Stubborn, little imp," he mumbles and I allow myself a smile as well on hearing the pet name he dubbed me with right from the start and that stuck ever since.
"Stupid mage," I shoot back and we laugh. All tension falls away from us and when he bows his head and kisses me this time it is relaxed and slow and luxurious.
Without breaking the kiss, he grabs my legs and guides them around his waist. He is careful when he sinks into me, taking his time, making sure that we both enjoy it and I just hold onto his shoulders letting him set the pace. It is easy to relax and give up control now that I am not ordered to do so.
Anders still holds my gaze but he is no longer looking for a sign of weakness. He's just enjoying the view and the way his eyes travel over me now – admiring and curious and in wonder – makes me feel the right kind of good.
When we are tumbling along the edge of completion again, he buries his head in the crook of my neck, holding me close, whispering soft words into my ear, repeating them over and over. I don't quite get what he's saying but I don't need to hear it in order to understand. They are the same words he wanted to hear from me. I know that they are because I know him.
I lift his head from my shoulder and shut him up with a kiss and I let myself fall. I don't need these words. They are not important but he is. I am. We are.
We hold each other tight, riding it out together until the last rippling waves ebb away and leave us boneless and pleasantly exhausted.
It is only reluctantly that we finally part but we have to. We are still in the card-room, right next to the great hall and I just know my men will have a field day with this.
I gather my rumpled shirt from the floor and inspect the tear in its side. Yep, definitely a field day. For some reason it makes me giggle and Anders looks at me questioningly. I show him the ruined piece.
"You do know that you finally succeeded in ruining my reputation, don't you?" I ask but there is an amused undercurrent in my voice that lets him know I am not angry about it. In fact, for once I don't even care. In the end, running the Ferelden headquarters of the Grey is just another game and who says that its rules can't be changed?
"Mission accomplished, then, I'd say," he grins while he helps me into the remains of my shirt and closes the buttons; well, at least most of them for the top one is missing. His fingers run over the spot where only the ripped thread is to be seen and his expression clouds over.
"Hey."
I take Anders' chin into my hand and force him to look at me. I will not allow him to feel bad about what happened earlier on.
"I am the one who has a right to pout," I complain in mock horror, " for it is me who will have to suffer the rude jokes and the catcalls for weeks on end. You? They will name you their hero!"
He chuckles and kisses me.
"Serves you right for teasing me the way you did."
I playfully slap at him but I don't tell him that he's right. I've learned my lesson. We both have. We broke the rules and we were punished. I am sure, next time we will play by the book.
My hand slips into his before I unlock the door and step out into the hall. Time to begin another game.
