Christmas Carol Naruto Version!
By: Alissa-Chan
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Christmas Carol. My class is reading the Christmas Carol for Language Arts and I thought about making a Naruto version! I did not copy everything in the book, I changed most of the script and the scenes. Actually, this is only based on the Christmas Carol. Read to find out! By the way this isn't a list.
Authors Note: I looked up Naruto Christmas Carol and about half of the stories aren't even original. They're either a list or the same exact script only the characters are different. Okay, this will not be a list or a copy of the Christmas Carol. Actually, this is simply a parody. I hope you enjoy this version of the Christmas Carol. I did NOT copy the dialogue, I changed everything!
Uchiha Itachi is dead. D-E-A-D. He is as dead as a rusty nail. How did he die? Uchiha Sasuke, that's how.
Itachi was not only Sasuke's blood related brother, but he was also his business partner as wll. Sasuke Uchiha also is the cause of Uchiha Itachi's death. That's right, Sasuke killed his own older brother.
His funeral was a private and quiet one. Only his family, friends, and lovers Itachi is dead. Did Sasuke care? He did not, unfortunately. Although, Sasuke was the last thing Itachi had thought about as he died.
The two had been very close. Sasuke was Itachi's only friend and it was the same vise verca. Their buisness was the best because of the two working name of their bankwas Sasuke and Sasuke did not paint over the sign. Of course, he could have painted over it. He was a billionaire. He just was too lazy to paint over it and technically the store still belonged to his brother. Whenever someone called him Itachi, he didn't even bother to correct them. It didn't make a difference any way.
Sasuke was a cold, mean, cheap, bastard, who was only a shell of his real self. He was hated by everyone including his own nephew! He was sharp tongued and he always made a person shiver at his mere presence. Nobody ever asked 'How he was' or 'What he was doing!' They were afraid that Sasuke would insult them or threaten to beat them with his cane!
But he didn't care at all! For goodness sakes, he killed his own blood related brother! He lacked the emotions that other people have! To him, emotions are useless pieces of garbage. He didn't give a damn about feelings, especially those who aren't his own.
It was Christmas Eve. It was cold, misty, and the wind was like a flat blades of ice pressed on Sasuke's cheeks. As Sasuke walked past his fellow towns mates, he saw several of them singing carols, or giving money to the poor, or even exchanging early gifts! How useless, giving away the good money you made. It was just a waste of time just like Christmas was.
"Rudoph the red nose rain deer had a really shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you can even say it glows." The chorus singing was terrible! First off, they were so off tune! Second, not everyone wants to hear about stupid Christmas. The chorus continued to sing.
"Can you be quiet?" Sasuke demanded this more then he asked it. However, the chorus kept singing and singing until Sasuke could no longer take it. He made a snow ball with his hands and threw it at the chorus. They stopped and they looked shocked. The main singer was frowning at him. She was a little girl, she looked no older then seven.
"That wasn't very nice sir."
"Shut up."
The girl began to cry, making Sasuke speed walk away. People were staring at him.
The city clocks had stopped at 12.00 am, but it was pitch black already. There was no light all day since it was the longest day of the year. Candles were flaring in the windows of the stores and houses. The door of his bank's window was open so he could keep an eye on his clerk, who was greeting someone who looked like- Oh lord. It was his nephew. Shikamaru Nara had been greeting Sasuke's nephew, Kiba. As Sasuke walked into the shop, Kiba turned around with a smile on his face. It was absolutely disgusting.
"Merry Christmas Uncle! Merry Christmas Shikamaru!" Kiba said in a kind voice. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Kiba has been like this ever since he married Hinata Hyuga. She was born from a wealthy family, but once she left her father, he had given her absolutely nothing. Why Kiba would marry her was out of Sasuke's comprehension. Shikamaru smiled at him and nodded. "Thank you sir. Christmas isn't as troublesome as other days but at least I can look forward for a day with my wife and children. Ino is very excited for it."
Sasuke frowned. "Whatever. Christmas is a waste of valuable time and money." Kiba heated himself from the small fire that was in the bank. He was frowning at his Uncle's rudeness.
"Christmas isn't a waste of time. I mean, it's a time of family and love and-" Sasuke interrupted Kiba's disgusting speech. "Shut up. Why are you 'merry'? You're poor since you married that awful wife of yours. She got kicked out her own house. And you have the nerve to say Merry Christmas."
Kiba shook his head, his Uncle was so wrong. Hinata got kicked out of her house because of him. Besides, life isn't all about money. It's about many other things too, like love. Kiba thought to himself.
"You're wrong Uncle. Hinata did it because she loved me," Kiba said this as polite as possible. Usually he was a very nice, laid-back kind of guy, but his Uncle brought out his absolute worst. Sasuke rolled his eyes for the millionth time. "She did it because she's an idiot." Kiba started to get upset, as he was holding back a tear.
His Uncle didn't understand how much Kiba blamed himself. Hinata being kicked out was a huge thing that made Kiba regret. But it was Christmas Eve, he shouldn't feel this way!
"What right do you have to be upset? You're rich enough." Kiba countered his Uncle back. Sasuke, having no better answer ready at the time, just said what he always said.
"Hn."
Kiba laughed at his Uncle's stubbornness. Maybe he still had a bit kindness left in him. Maybe he would change this year. Maybe the lord has finally answered Kiba's prayers! But no miracle like that could ever happen.
"Don't be cross Uncle!"
"What else can I be, when I live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! I spit on your 'Merry Christmas!" Sasuke did a mocking imitation of his workers. Shikamaru and Kiba exchanged a glance. Sasuke continued.
"What's Christmas time to you but a time for buying gifts for other people, when you don't have any money? You're all wasting your precious money! Wait a minute, you don't have any! If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!" Sasuke yelled, causing Kiba and Shikamaru to jump. Kiba, who was tired of his Uncle's complaining, decided to plead for him to stop his ranting. He felt bad for Shikamaru, who had to deal with this every day, for a whole week, for 12 hours.
"Uncle Sasuke stop!"
"Kiba! Keep Christmas in your own way and let me keep it in mine." Sasuke warned his nephew not to bring it up again. But, since his nephew was a dumb rod, he didn't get the message!
"Keep it! But you don't keep it!" Kiba yelled at his uncle for the first time. He was getting tired of his negativity!" Sasuke stomped his foot in anger.
"Let me leave it alone, then. Much good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you!' Kiba looked very hurt and this caused Shikamaru to pipe in. He coughed to get his boss's attention. Sasuke slowly turned to his assistant.
"There are many things from which I think bad about my life, by which I have not been paid well, I dare say. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come I feel happy, I think of it as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one another to open their closed hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were poor, unfortunate, souls and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!" Sasuke was speechless and Kiba applauded Shikamaru. "Well done mate!" Soon, all of Sasuke's workers began to applaud.
"You tell him Nara!"
"He told Sasuke!"
"Make Sasuke eat his own words!"
"GO SHIKAMARU!"
"YAY!"
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! GET BACK TO WORK NOW!" Sasuke yelled, his voice echoed which sounded like a big BOOM. The workers muttered curses and eventually settled down.
"Don't be angry Uncle. Come dine with us tomorrow," Kiba offered. Maybe, if his Uncle had met his wife then he would learn to like her. He pictured happy faces at the dinner table. But Sasuke interrupted his false reality.
"No," Sasuke said coldly. Kiba pouted and nudged Shikamaru. Shikamaru pouted too.
"But why? Why?" Kiba asked Sasuke. Sasuke turned his head at his nephew.
"Why did you get married?" Sasuke demanded this, rather then asking. Kiba looked surprised, as if it were obvious. This made Sasuke sick.
"Because I fell in love."
Sasuke growled. "Because you fell in love! Good afternoon!" Shikamaru raised his eyebrow, but decided to stay quiet. He had already got on Sasuke's bad side once today and if he did it another time he might get fired.
Kiba was persistent. He wasn't going to leave like this. He promised his wife that Sasuke would meet her and like her.
"Nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before that happened. Why give it as a reason for not coming now?" Sasuke shook his head. He was tired of dealing with his annoying nephew.
"Good afternoon," Sasuke said impatiently. Kiba sighed, his uncle was so stubborn. "I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you; why cannot we be friends?"
"Good afternoon!" Sasuke said, a little more louder. Kiba kept going on, much to Sasuke's annoyance.
"I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute. We have never had any quarrel, to which I have been a party. I'll keep my Christmas humour to the last. So A Merry Christmas, uncle!" Kiba said angrily.
"GOOD AFTERNOON!" Sasuke yelled at his nephew. Kiba clicked his fingers and snapped them. "And A Happy New Year!"
His nephew left the room without an angry word. He stopped at the outer door to say out to lecture Sasuke on how it wasn't good to mutter curses in a public place, but he stopped himself, as he realized Sasuke had absolutely lost the greetings of the season to the clerk, who was warmer than Sasuke; for he returned them back. His nephew smiled and headed out the muttered curse under his breath. Shikamaru raised his eyebrow, he was ab all of his patience on Kiba. Shikamaru thought the argument was quite funny.
This lunatic, in letting Sasuke's nephew out, had let two other people in. They were portly gentlemen. One of the people were wearing the most hideous clothes. A Green Spandex Jumpsuit with boots. From now on the first man will be dubbed Bruce Lee.
The next man had long brown hair and he looked like Hinata, he had the eyes. Sasuke had caught a glance of Kiba's wife once, and he still remembered those violet, clear, eyes. But this man's eyes were tinted gray instead. He was wearing better clothing then Bruce Lee. "Sasuke's and Itachi's I believe. Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Itachi or Mr. Sasuke?"
This man was laughable. What was with the politeness?
"Itachi Uchiha has been dead these seven years; He died seven years ago this very night," Sasuke said lazilly. Rock Lee bowed politely with a smile on his face.
"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner. By the way sir, my name is Rock Lee." Even his name sounded like Bruce Lee!
Sasuke frowned at the use of the word 'liberality.'
"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Sasuke,it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and Destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."
Sasuke laughed at Rock Lee. "Are there no prisons?"
"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.
"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course. I'm very glad to hear it." Sasuke said mockingly.
"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude, a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?"
"Nothing!"
The Bruce Lee guy was persistent. "You wish to be anonymous?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned - they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there."
"Many can't go there; and many would rather die. Just give us some pennies, or nickels, or dimes, or dollars. We don't care. Just donate already." The normal man said, growing impatient.
"If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population." Sasuke said coldly. The two men gasped at him. Shikamaru looked horrified, he knew his boss was cruel, but he didn't know he was that cruel.
Bruce Lee sighed. "Alright, we shall go." The two men left Sasuke, but just when they were about to leave the bank, Shikamaru nudged them. They looked at him, with confused looks on their faces. Shikamaru gave them 5 dollars.
"Are you sure?" The second man asked Shikamaru. Shikamaru nodded slowly. "I'm sorry that my boss said something so troublesome. Here is the best that I could do, for I do not have much money myself. But Christamas is a time of giving. Please accept it."
The two men bowed and took the money. They thanked Shikamaru for his kindness and left the shop happily.
Authors Note: This is the first part out of many. Remember, Shikamaru's 5 dollars was a huge deal back then because back then, 5 dollars was a LOT. Plus, Shikamaru is poor.
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