Author's Note: This stumbled into my brain, so here we are! This takes place as an alternate ending to season 3 featuring dark!Vanessa.
Disclaimer: I do not own Penny Dreadful in any way, I'm just a simple fan.
"It hurts me more than I thought it would. Seeing you." It was the truth. Seeing his face after all this time made the very shreds of her soul ache. He was changed, that much was clear. However, so was she.
"You need to come with me. Now." His voice was calm but she could tell that he was anxious.
"No. Do you not know what I am?" Vanessa looked at her hands and spread them, her palms facing the ceiling.
"I'm here to rescue you," he replied, clumsily avoiding the question, and Vanessa knew that he could sense the darkness radiating off of her. She was no longer the woman he knew. She had evolved, morphed into a brand new being, and they both knew that her old self was long dead.
"I have no need to be rescued." She walked towards him, gliding quietly across the floor, barely making a sound. "I've made my choice and am satisfied."
"Vanessa!"
"I've missed you," she confessed in a brittle voice. The vulnerability made her angry with herself but the honest confession seemed to rattle him.
"I knew that you were coming. I could feel it. I thought I was prepared for this moment, but I'm not. I'm overwhelmed because seeing you again breaks my heart. It makes me hurt." She reached him and carefully laid her hands on his chest. His heart was pounding wildly.
"I want to destroy you and love you and be with you." Her skin hummed, filled with some unknown power, foreign strength, oh so familiar need. It was intoxicating.
"I want you so much," she whispered against his neck. Her long fingers gripped his hips, making sure that their bodies were perfectly aligned, and she knew that he wanted her. The knowledge made her smile.
"Vanessa," Ethan said, his voice straining with lust and pity. "This isn't you." He looked down at her, his dark eyes bright with emotion, and a wave of tenderness rolled through her. He loved her, god help him, even with all of her darkness and guilt. Even with power radiating off of her skin, even with her new abilities, even with blood on her hands.
"Yes it is," Vanessa corrected him. "I am finally who I am meant to be." She placed a lingering kiss on the hollow of his throat. He didn't respond, although she could feel him tense. His whole body was rigid and she could feel his muscles straining under her hands.
"All my life, I have been afraid. I was afraid that I was dirty and strange, I was afraid that I was disappointing and useless. I have both served and rebelled, falsely believing that if I waited long enough, I would get what I wanted. I thought I would find contentment."
She remembered her desperate yearning for normalcy. She had wanted to be a proper woman, pious and kind, and she had tried for so long to become that woman. But no matter how much she pretended or buried her desires, they always resurfaced. It was a futile attempt. She had always been destined for darkness and it was only in accepting that fact that she found peace. Vanessa was happier than she had ever been in her entire life. She was no longer torn between her sense of propriety and wants. She was finally free.
"I do not need Lucifer or Dracula. I do not need God. I do not need Sir Malcolm or Victor. I do not need you either." Ethan flinched at the words and tried to pull away but Vanessa held him in place.
"I do not need you, but I want you." She reached up and pulled his mouth against hers. The kiss was not sweet. It was rough and demanding; sharp nips and tongues battling for dominance, and she eagerly explored his mouth. She kissed him until her lungs burned and ached, until her senses were flooded with his taste. The world dissolved around them.
When they broke apart, Ethan's face was flushed and his lips were swollen.
"Why do you deny me this?" she whispered. "Why do you deny us?"
"You know how I feel," he growled. "You're a goddamn bitch to use this against me."
"I know," Vanessa answered and she kissed him yet again. Ethan responded again, just as eager and desperate as she was, and she knew in that moment that he was hers. He would worship her, stay by her side, rule with her as long as she desired. He was hers forever.
"Do you remember the cards?" she sighed against his lips when the kiss ended. "I knew that we would come to this. I knew that you were meant for me and me alone. All roads lead to this exact moment."
When she had first laid eyes on him, he had seemed insignificant. Intriguing, perhaps. Handsome, certainly. But he had seemed only a means to an end. It wasn't until she read her beloved cards that she realized there was more to the rough American than she realized. He held true power and though she did not initially realize what that power meant, it was now clear to her. They were meant to be together, to rule with undisputed authority. He was her equal in every way and the only one she wanted by her side.
"I wanted to protect you," Ethan said, more to himself than her. He pulled away and gazed at her with thoughtful eyes. There was genuine sadness in his voice. "I knew that I was damned, but I wanted to protect you. I thought I could save you."
"I do not want to be saved. I want to be loved."
Ethan looked at her and Vanessa stood proudly before him, waiting for his answer. The room was completely silent. The candles around them flickered and shivered, their movement casting shadows that danced on the white walls surrounding them. She stared into his eyes, waiting for him to decide. He knew evil, had tasted its bitter delight, but would he share it with her? Could he?
He stepped towards her and knelt, his head hanging low. He didn't look at her but she understood.
"The night creatures are all around us. Can you hear their hearts beating? It reverberates all over the city, a true symphony for the darkness," she smiled. "They're for us and only us."
"My lupus dei," Vanessa whispered and he looked up at that. She ran her fingers through his brown hair, the fine strands slipping easily through her fingers.
"Come my love, there's work to be done."
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