"Do… do you believe in the afterlife?"
Bellamy asked curiously, staring off into space and immersed in his own thoughts.
Clarke stared up at him, seeing the heavy bags under his eyes, beads of sweat and blood covering his skin. He looked both commanding and broken at once. The promise of the City of Light was gone, and in its absence left a bleak future.
Stuck on top of the Polis tower, they sat together. The cities ruins spread out below and woods beyond. In the darkness, lights flickered down the tower and faint voices went unregistered around them.
She answered, looking out, "I believe there's more. There has to be."
Waiting another moment, breathing in the smoke and dry air, "When I was a little girl my mom said our souls would become stars. I would look out the main bay window and see endless space, but somewhere there was a star. Light. I don't know where we go after this but I like to think that's where we'll be."
Not looking at her, but smiling, Bellamy said, "I still think about that bay window too."
Clarke felt an ache in her stomach, her eyes glistening. "If you could, would you go back? No oxygen failure and no dropship?"
"I don't know. But if I don't die down here, I would've died on the Ark. After Octavia was taken, I had nobody left. But down here I have you and our friends."
She knew he was right. She could dream about the past and her simpler life on the Ark. She could idealize it all. And stargaze. But the truth was, her life meant nothing in space. Prisoner or citizen she was air locked, forced to project her hopes and dreams out a bay window onto the Earth below. She remembers her first step out of the dropship. The radiation became a faint concern once her feet padded over the soft dirt and gained a sense of belonging. The Earth was home. It had her mom, her friends, and Bellamy.
She reached out her hand, across the stone floor where they were sitting. Holding hands, she closed her eyes and exhaled. Her fingers trembled and he squeezed them tighter.
"What happens next?" she whispered.
He rubbed his thumb slowly over her hand, comforting her and leaning closer.
"We'll figure something out."