A/N: I want to write more 'Getting Away', desperately. But the amount of research that is down for that at the moment I right now just cannot master with studies all crazy busy. And my mind has been holding on to this here anyway, insisting I do something about those feelings I have been carrying around with me since I first watched 'I do.'
So this is how Kurt ends up with the baby cupcakes.
WHAT?
Yes, exactly.
You'll see in a moment;)
In Between You and Me
Downstairs, Kurt gets there, somehow, although he is not sure how. As soon as he is out the bedroom door he breaks into a run. Only when the elevator doors close behind him, he allows the mixture of sob and gasp to escape his throat. Knowing this had been buried deep inside of him ever since he had come back down from the high of feeling Blaine that close …
'… all pretend,' he can no longer deny the thought.
Kurt had played pretend as soon as he and Blaine had entered that bedroom, before in the backseat of that car. Had pretended, … to protect himself.
'… no matter how much you pretend that this does not mean anything.' Standing in the elevator Blaine's words won't stop replaying in his mind, won't stop pushing tears sad and angry alike to the surface of Kurt's flushed face, the boy beneath long broken into pieces not knowing how to anymore keep them together, when all this day, today with Blaine means so much too much, so much more than he had expected when they had first kissed in the morning, rehearsing their duet.
He starts hyperventilating when he realizes why he had suddenly felt the urge to run from that room, only barely kept the cool act together for Blaine's benefit until he had been out.
When the elevator doors reopen and he gets out on the groundfloor he is done pretending, done holding anything together, makes through the almost empty party room his way back to the baby cupcakes Tina had torn him away from earlier on.
Blaine is still on an unmistakable high when nine minutes later he too returns downstairs.
For it being so empty already Blaine has to search for quite a while until he finds Kurt sitting hidden away, behind the cupcake display, on the floor against a wall, hidden behind a pillar, a babycupcake still untouched resting in his hands on his lap. Kurt is starring down at it.
Only as Blaine reaches him does he fully take in the scene.
Kurt's shoulders are shaking, and he is '… crying.'
Blaine is kneeling by his side in seconds. "Shit. Kurt? What did I do. Oh my gosh, whatever I did, I am so so sorry. Please, please, Kurt, talk to me, please?"
"We haven't really talked all day, why should we start now," he bubbles through tears, still starring down at the babycupcake.
"What did I do?"
"Who said you did anything?"
"Kurt, please tell me what's happening in your head. Please?"
"You want us to be back together?"
"More than anything, Kurt, yes, I do."
"You want us to be us again," it is not a question anymore this time, and Blaine frowns at the statement.
"Kurt, what did I do wrong?"
Kurt finally looks up, and Blaine is utterly unprepaired for the devestation he finds wiping out all spark in the blue usually so deep with it.
"You didn't feel it?" Kurt asks.
Blaine is only more confused at that, scared, "Kurt? Did I hurt you? Was I, … was I," Blaine breaks off for a moment, too sick with the thought of it alone, "was I too rough, did I hurt you?" He reaches out to cup Kurt's right cheek.
But Kurt turns his head away, with a whisper, "Don't."
Blaine's own face is one of utter shock and fear when Kurt looks back at his '…what are we even?' "What are we?" thoughts spill over his tongue.
"Kurt, right now, I just really want to be what you need me to be tonight. But please tell me, because I cannot take the thought, did I hurt you?"
"Not in that way, no. The sex was …, well, sex, … with you."
"What does that mean?" Blaine asks eyes still full of worry.
"I want to feel it is okay."
"But it is okay, us being together like this is okay. Adam did not expect you to not …."
"This is not about Adam in any way, Blaine. This," he says pointing between the two of them, " this, has nothing to do with anyone else."
"Please tell me why you are so sad," Blaine says softly, reaching out to try and cup Kurt's cheek again.
Kurt does not turn away this time, but his eyelids flutter shut, pressing fresh tears over his cheeks, like raindrops gliding down a panel of glass.
"What can I do, Kurt?"
"I don't know if you can do anything. I don't even know what I can do about it."
"What is it?"
"It didn't hurt you?"
"What?" Blaine asks eyes wide with concern and questions as he watches Kurt trying to get comfortable nuzzling his face into Blaine's palm like, once upon a time, he could do so easily. Not anymore.
"How different it felt. I, … Blaine, it, it didn't feel, … I wasn't prepared for this, Blaine, for it being, for it feeling … so different. I … I wanted it to, to fell, … I wanted to feel you. I needed us. It wasn't us us," Kurt's eyes fly open when the hand slips from his cheek and he hears a tiny sob of recognition.
Kurt puts the babycupcake beside himself on the floor and takes Blaine into his arms instead.
"I am so sorry Kurt. So sorry, all I want to be is yours."
"I want to be yours too. Tonight just made me … tonight I realized how much we have both changed. We are not us anymore and we can't ever be that us again. I miss us."
"Maybe one day you and me can be a whole new us again," Blaine whispers into Kurt's shoulder.
"Maybe one day."
A/N: I could from the very first day not understand how this storyline for Klaine sparked so many smut one-shots. Did no one else pick up on the unrest it seemed to leave Kurt struggling with, and I could not help trying to do something with it. It broke something in me the sadness we could see lurking under the surface in the mirror bedroom scene, Kurt looks so torn, and then paints whatever he really is feeling over with sassy Kurt. It made me want to cry. I also think there has another shift in atmosphere happened between them before we see them again at school with Tina. Kurt seems a little less tense, this was about how I think they got there. Hope you liked.
Now I really want to write them rehearsing 'Just can't get enough.' Anyone interested in reading it?