It Will Be Me
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I don't own Naruto. I don't really see the point of having to tell you guys this, as you should know, but whatever keeps me out of trouble...
I highly suggest you listen to "It Will Be Me" by Melissa Etheridge while you read(it's on Youtube, if you don't know any place to find it). It might help create the emotions I was trying to convey.
Minato knew, without a doubt, the sort of life Naruto would lead. No matter what he asked, no matter what he sacrificed, his last wishes would not be honored. Minato was not so naive as to believe the Villagers would be able to see past the seal that would be imprinted on his Son's belly for the rest of his life.
And that made it all that much harder. He didn't want to die, he didn't want to throw his son to the 'wolves', he didn't want to let his only son to grow up alone, and hated. For not the first time in his life, he wanted to be selfish; he wanted to take his son and run and never ever stop. Because Kushina was gone, a victim to the stress of the attack, and he knew that it was what any of the villagers would have done. None of the villagers would have been willing to throw away what he was. But you aren't a villager. You're the Hokage, now get it together. He grimaced, the back of his wrist swiped over the sides of his lips, catching blood that was already caking onto the skin, due to the extreme heat that radiated off the massive beast that was at least a mile or so away. "Kakashi!" He barked, blue eyes finding the boy's - for once - wide open ones. "Bring... Bring me Naruto." He looked away, unable to face the pity that showed clearly, even through the mask. "Hai, Minato-sensei!"
He was gone in a blur, leaving Minato to once again face the Kyuubi alone. 10 Minutes ago, he had ordered everyone else back to the village, and now he alone stood against the massive demon. It was impressive as it was terrifying. It stood well above his own head, and for one the very few times in his life, he felt small. The Kyuubi's maws were open wide, a terrible, screeching roar that had long since shattered most eardrums beyond repair, spewing from it's throat. It's fangs glistened with acidic saliva, the fires it had created around itself making it seem as if the fires of hell itself were alight in it's belly, reaching out to tease it's tongue. It's orange fur moved smoothly over it's muscles with a grace that suited it's predatory tastes perfectly, inspiring awe and fear in one moment. It's nine tails swayed back and forth with enough force to knock the surrounding trees around like play things, and black claws tore into the tough Konoha soil like a hot knife through butter.
He felt Kakashi's return more than heard it, and was ready for the baby that was pushed gently into his arms the next moment. "Thank you..." He murmured, though the words were insincere; he would have wept with joy if Kakashi had instead stolen Naruto from his crib and ran, just like he wanted to. The Grey-haired teen didn't respond, merely resting a gloved hand on his sensei's shoulder, before his body blurred once more, and he was gone, making his way back to the village like Minato had ordered.
Anger bubbled just beneath the surface, as he gazed into his Son's eyes; the same shade of blue as his own. Naruto began to cry, cutting off the staring contest with a wail that only infants could produce without irritating themselves. Anger and guilt swirled into one, and he brought Naruto up to his face, rubbing his cheek against his Son's for the first - and last - time. So this is how it's gotta be, huh? First time seeing my son, and I'm already ruining his life. Wonderful. He made soft, comforting noises that he could barely hear over the Kyuubi's rumbling, and tried his best to savor the moments that Naruto himself would never know.
"If you hear a voice in the middle of the night,
Sayin' it'll be alright,
It will be me."
He wasn't the best singer, couldn't hold a tune to save his life, but it would have to do. Kushina was dead, and even if she wasn't, he wouldn't bring her into this mess to sing for Naruto. His lullaby would have to be enough, because it would be the only one his son would ever hear. He doubted anyone else would bother to sing for a Jinchuuriki.
"If you feel a hand guiding you along,
When the path seems wrong,
It will be me."
He hugged his son closer, willing his son to calm, though he knew he was wishing for the impossible. A baby would definitely be able to feel the combined heat of a Konoha night, and the sweltering fires the Kyuubi had lit. And then there was the screeching; that god awful screeching that set his nerves on edge, and made him want to break down and sob at the thought of sealing that thing into his son. His son that would be forever tainted, barely an hour out of the womb.
"There is no mountain that I can't climb,
For you I'd swim through the rivers of time,
As you go your way, and I go mine.
A light will shine,
and it will be me."
The earth shook from the force of the Kyuubi's frustrations, and Minato leaned against a tree that hadn't yet fallen to the wrath of a monster, and felt tears prick his eyes. It had been such a long, long time since he had cried. It was a general rule, really. He was Hokage, he was a man, he was a Shinobi- all of these things demanded that he put up as strong a front as he could. The feeling was just as unpleasant as he remembered; his eyes stung, and his throat constricted and felt drier than a desert, all in one moment.
"If there is a key that goes to your heart,
A special part,
it will be me.
If you need a friend,
Call out to the wind,
To hold you again,
it will be me."
He supposed he was being a little selfish; drawing out his time as long as he could with his son. But damnit, he would do as he damn well pleased. The Kyuubi was rooted to the spot, obviously searching for a way to get past the barrier that had been erected around the entire city, sustained by every single Shinobi that wasn't incapacitated. They could hold out a little while longer. Just long enough to finish this one lullaby, just long enough to share the song Kushina had constructed for her son, and had forced him to memorize as well.
"Oh how the world seems so unfair,
Creating a love that can not be shared.
As you go your way, and I go mine,
A light will shine,
and it will be me."
The tears were rolling down his cheeks, now, as the pain finally set in. Kushina was gone. And soon, he too, would be gone. He had no hopes of ever meeting up with Kushina after he died, or watching over his only damn son as he grew up, like Kushina would. He would spend forever, in a hellish pit of despair, withering away at the soul in a Shinigami's stomach. His voice began to crack even more, and his shoulders shook. What had he ever done to deserve this? What father should have to condemn their child to a life of hate?
"Past the ever after, there's a place for two,
In your tears and your laughter,
I'll be there for you."
Lies. And now he was feeding his son lies. Never mind that Kushina had never expected to die, and that he would be forced to sing his son a song full of promises he could never keep, on a battle field of 3, that would soon only hold 1. Or maybe she had, because this was a rather depressing lullaby, now that he thought about it.
"In the sun and the moon,
In the land and the sea,
Look all around you,
It will be me."
His lips grazed his son's sweaty forehead, wishing that his son were old enough to understand that Minato had never wanted it to turn out like this. Where had the days gone? Where had the days of teasing Kushina about being 'fat' go? Where had the plans of building a house big enough for 2 more children to run through, with a yard and maybe a cat, because the Inuzuka's would have a fit had they gotten a dog?
"There is no mountain that I can't climb,
For you I'd swim the rivers of time,
as you go your way and I go mine,
A light will shine, And it will be me."
Naruto was gently positioned in the crook of his arm, and his hands flashed through the hand signs he knew by heart, and then bit his thumb, letting it run briefly down his thumb, before his hand was shoved into the ashes at his feet. Covering Naruto's mouth and nose briefly with his jacket to avoid him inhaling any of the summoning smoke, he realized he had stopped crying. The hurt in his heart was numbing again, the closer he came to his final moments.
He smiled sadly down at Naruto, who had continued to cry, face red from the heat and the effort he used to continue his loud wailing. He gently swiped the sleeves of his shirt over his Son's nose, catching the snot fondly, knowing it was the only thing he could do for him now. He then glanced up, smile gone, and face set with determination.
One hand flashed through the needed signs, gathering the very essence of his soul, he closed his eyes against the blindingly white light that gathered at his fingertips.
"It will be me... it will be me..."
Geeze, made my own damn self cry several times while writing this. Inspired by an AMV I saw on Youtube, of a (RAW, sadly)doujinshi of Naruto and his father, to the song 'It Will Be Me' by Melissa Etheridge. Cried during the AMV, too.
I can't honestly believe that Minato would not have felt even the slightest bit bitter at having to seal the demon into his own son, in which throwing away his own life, just to assure that his precious village could torment his son. And I don't believe that he would have been naive enough to actually believe his wish for Naruto be treated as a Hero, would come to pass.
Poor Minato, that had to be rough.