Single Bells
Author's Note: Hey guys, this is just a song fic I thought about writing in honor of my cousin. She actually wrote this song and it's on iTunes. If you want to find it go on iTunes and search "Chevonne" and you should find an album called Unwrap Me-Ep. Please, tell all of your friends about this song too! I hope you all enjoy it! :)
"Come on Bells! It's Christmas for crying out loud! Be happy!"
I knew how much I was hurting Charlie. Heck, I've barely said a word since...they left. Not knowing how to make him feel better, I plaster a fake smile on my face. Unfortunately, I was never a good liar and he saw right through me.
He raised his hand and squeezed the bridge of his nose. My eyes widened and I fought to remain neutral. That was such an Ed...him gesture.
"Look, if you don't want to celebrate this year then fine! I'm going over to Billy's. Your mom wanted you to be in the Christmas spirit so she told me to give you this." He then handed me a beat up radio.
"She wants you to go on B-104 and listen to the Christmas music in hopes of lightening your spirits." I gave a little smirk at that. The idea practically screamed Renee.
Charlie placed the radio on my desk, plugged it in the outlet, turned the radio onto the right station, and plodded out of the room to his police car.
I knew Renee would ask which songs in what order I was listening to them, to prove I was doing as she asked, so I decided to leave the radio on. I didn't like music, but what harm could come out of a few Christmas jingles?
The first thing that came on was "Jingle Bell Rock". Following that was "Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer", "White Christmas", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", and a few commercials for "Sleepy's", "Toys R Us", and Walmart.
I was quickly losing interest in the song selection. A normal person would have tried to fall asleep, but not me. Sleep would mean dreams, and I wasn't ready for the nightmares that usually plagued me just yet. Instead I just stared at the wall and endured my Christmas themed torture.
The next song that played was much different. It started out with sleigh bells, but then I heard a feminine voice.
Get your bells out boys (followed by laughter)
I thought it was going to be a bogus up beat pop song, but it ended up being a trip through a wild, emotional roller coaster.
I'm getting decked out
My man just checked out
It felt like I was trying to swallow a golf ball. My "man" did check out, out of my life.
I'm gonna throw away his photo
Except he threw away my photo of him. Along with everything else that proved that he wasn't just a dream. A wonderful, too good to be true dream.
Took off his jewelry
Jewelry. I fantasized him placing a ring on my finger. A dream that was impossible.
Put it on the Christmas tree
And now I'm feeling fabulous-o
I wasn't, but I was willing to be he was.
And it feels so right
Without him on Christmas night
No, it felt wrong. Utterly and completely wrong. I was broken without him, and I wished I could've seen him just one more time.
And I'm singing
Single bells, single bells, single all the way
That's definitely my tune. Except, unlike the singer, I wasn't rejoicing about no longer having a boyfriend.
Not gonna cry today
No, I wouldn't. I'd cried enough already, if Charlie came home and saw my eyes puffy he might try to make me go to therapy. That's something I refuse to do. I was paralyzed at the spot, unable to move to turn off the music like a wished I could.
Nightfall, Discoball
On the Christmas tree
Raise my glass
Shake my a**
Finally I'm free
Too bad I would never be free. I was like a princess, locked in a tower waiting for her prince to rescue her. But I wasn't a princess, I wasn't living in a fairy tale, and I wasn't going to get my happily ever after.
Turn up the music
Come let my girls in
The only 'girls' I had were Jessica and Angela, and they abandoned my depressing self a while ago. I wished that A-that she was still here, but I had no way of finding her. They made sure I had absolutely no way to possibly contact her.
We're gonna dance until the mornin
Dancing. I opposed dancing. Well, except at prom...The memories were getting to be too much for me. I put my hands on my ears in hope of blocking out the music. Of course with my luck it didn't work.
Go out and get drunk
I chuckled darkly at the thought of Charlie's reaction if he ever saw me drunk.
And get our fur on
I think I got just what I wanted
When he left I didn't get what I wanted, but what I deserved.
I've got a brand new life
I scoffed. As if my pity of an existence could possibly be labeled as a life.
Starting this Christmas night
We're singing
Single bells, single bells, single all the way
Single. The word sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me. It was a horrifying thing to think about. I was single, alone, without hope, forever. Forever, a possibility no longer open to me.
Not gonna cry today
Nightfall, Discoball
On the Christmas tree
Raise my glass
Shake my a**
Finally I'm free
I'm dripping in glitter like an ornament
I think this was what my mama meant
She said your heart isn't a Christmas present
When I thought I had his heart I cherished it like a present. The ultimate present. But he was right, who would ever want mine as a present? I wasn't good for him.
I know I'll never give mine away
Too bad I already did. When he left he took my heart with him. Wherever he was was where it would stay.
Single bells, single bells, single all the way
Not gonna cry today
Nightfall, Discoball
On the Christmas tree
Raise my glass
Shake my a**
Finally I'm free
This one is for Christmas time
Single bells, single bells, single all the way
Not gonna cry today
Nightfall, Discoball
On the Christmas tree
Raise my glass
Shake my a**
Finally I'm free
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Said finally I'm free, yeah
Oh girls
Take off that jewelry
Put it on the Christmas tree
And say bye bye baby
Oh, he definitely said bye.
The words echoed over and over in my head. Maybe at one time I would have enjoyed listening to that song. A happier time where the lyrics would've had nothing to do with me. The song made it official. If I was able to twist around holiday music into thinking of him, then that meant I shouldn't listen to music anymore. With that being decided I turned off the radio and went to do the homework I had been procrastinating on for a few weeks.
Tell me what you think! About the song and the songfic! Happy Holidays! :)