I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist so stop suing me already.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Knock knock.

"Ed? Are you in there?"

Knock knock knock.

"Nobody's seen you in weeks, are you still alive?"

Mustang was beginning to get irritated. He knew Edward Elric had not left his bedroom in quite some time. Yet the Fullmetal refused to respond. With a sigh, Mustang raised one gloved hand and snapped his fingers.

The lock stopped working as the door was blown open by the small explosion Mustang created. "Sorry I had to use extreme force, kid," he called as he stepped inside. "You left me no choice..." Mustang's voice trailed off there. Ed was sitting with his back to the door, slumped over. In the corner Al stood instantly.

"Oh, Mr. Mustang, sir!" he said quickly. "We weren't expecting you to..."

"I know. Do you mind? We've got military business to see to."

Al hesitated, but left the room. Mustag watched him go, then turned back to Ed.

Something was different about Ed. For one thing, his hair seemed to be lighter than Mustang remembered. It also looked a little longer, though that was to be expected. It hung freely down his back. And somehow, Ed seemed to have gotten... shorter. It was hard to tell, because Ed was already short, and the difference wasn't much, and he wasn't sitting up straight, but he was deinitely shorter.

"Is everything alright here?" Mustang asked. "I know you have work to do before your evaluation, but it's not like you to stay out of sight for this long."

"Everything's fine," Ed replied. He sounded different, too.

"Well then, why don't you come with me. You need some fresh air. If you keep this up, your health will be ruined and we won't have any use for you even if you do manage to pass your..."

"You wanna know?" Ed asked harshly, standing and turning to face Mustang.

This was definitely different.

"Ed, what..."

Ed showed Mustang something he hadn't noticed before... a tail. "Did you know animals can perform alchemy?"

Mustang thought for a moment. "No, I guess I didn't."

"They can. It's powerful, but they can't control it at all. You know that cafe down the street from the Central library?"

"I've been there a few times, yes."

"Well, I was getting a bite to eat there while I was doing some research. I looked down and there was this mouse eyeing my food. It climbed across the book I was reading to get at a bite, and I reached down to pick it up. Well, it got startled and stopped, right on top of a diagram of a transmutation circle in the book. As luck would have it, that circle was used to make chimeras. It activated the circle just as I touched it and combined itself with me. Fortunately I figured out what was going on in time to retain most of my regular body, though as you can see..."

"Yeah."

"So, now I'm part mouse. And I'd rather not have people finding out about it."

Mustang nodded. "Of course. I won't tell anyone." He turned to leave, then turned back. "Oh, and... the boobs?"

"The mouse was female."

"Makes sense."

With this exchange finished, Mustang turned and left the room. He paused one more time, this time not turning around. "Oh, and... happy birthday. You're sixteen today, right? If I'd known your birthday was going to be this bad, I'd have gotten you something." Once he was gone, Ed returned to sulking. On top of it all, he... she... had nothing to show at evaluation. She was now a girl, part mouse, and about to be an ex-State Alchemist.

After thinking for hours, suddenly her face lit up. "I know!" she said. "I'll turn a negative into a positive. I'll be my own evaluation presentation!"

The happy expression lasted about ten seconds before she really thought about it.

"How much longer is he going to make us wait?" griped Major General Hakuro.

Ed was late in showing up to her evaluation, which didn't surprise Mustang at all. In fact, Mustang found that he was significantly more surprised when Ed really did show up, only half an hour after she was supposed to.

"Sorry I'm late," she announced. "I had to take some time to get my notes together."

Hakuro simply stared blankly. "Edward Elric?" he asked, checking the name on the paper in front of him.

"That's me," Ed said.

Mustang stared, looking for any trace of a tail. He could see none. Of course not; Ed would have been sure to hide something like that before she came.

"Well, have a seat and let us see these notes," King Bradley said with a calm gesture.

There was a long silence as the three looked over the notes, then looked in unison at Ed, then read through the notes again.

"So," Hakuro said, "you're presenting alchemy with the power to change a person's gender?"

"Well, the information I have now, yeah."

"I don't believe I've ever seen anything quite like this," stated Bradley. "Can you demonstrate?'

"Well, uh... I haven't exactly been able to duplicate the effect."

Hakuro groaned. "You must be joking. You expect us to believe you figured out how to change your gender, and now you can't do it again?"

"I was a boy and now I'm a girl. Explain that one."

"It could be a disguise, and disguises, alchemical or not, have been done too many times to be acceptable."

"I'm afraid I must agree," Bradley said. "It would be impressive if this was real, but we just don't know. So I propose this. You have three months to prove to us that this is the real deal, or you'll have to hand in your watch."

"Hang on," Mustang said, "isn't there some other..."

"I'll do it," Ed interrupted. "I'll find a way to prove that this transformation is for real. I won't waste any time!"

Mustang sat at home, thinking about the situation. There was no way for Ed to really prove that she was a girl. Every detail could be simulated somehow. It had been three weeks, and she still hadn't come up with anything. He didn't want to lose his subordinate, but he didn't seem to have a choice in the matter.

As he pondered, someone knocked on the door. "Coming," he called as he rose to answer.

There on the doorstep was Edward Elric.

"Ah, Ed, what is it? Do you need something?" Mustang asked a little surprised to find Ed at his door.

"I figured it out."

"Hm?"

"I know how to prove that I'm really a girl."

"Well then, let's hear it."

"I need you to knock me up."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As much as I like this kind of story this is technically the first I've ever written. How did I do?